Showing posts with label Kate Middleton. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kate Middleton. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Kate Middleton Denies Designer Freebies



Kate Middleton Won’t Accept Free Clothes, Is Striking ‘Private Agreements’ With Designers

Today in Kate Middleton wardrobe news, royal officials are decidedly being more tight-lipped about Kate Middelton’s fashion choices than almost anything else. The level of secrecy that surrounded her wedding dress was only the beginning.

As we’re sure you’ve heard, William and Kate are about to embark on a tour of North America—starting with Canada, followed by a trip to California. As usual, we’re all wondering what Kate is planning to wear to charm us North Americans at her many scheduled appearances. According to a spokesman for the couple quoted in a story about Prince William’s 29th birthday (happy bday!), it’s a secret, but she definitely will not be wearing anything that hasn’t been paid for. Like the American first lady to whom she has been compared on more than one occasion, Middleton “has a policy not to accept any free offers of clothing.” She also “will not receive any special clothing budget for the Canada and California tour.” However, that doesn’t necessarily mean the decidedly down-to-earth duchess will be wearing nothing but high street labels for her tour. According to People, she is striking “private agreements” with designers to “help build her tour wardrobe,” which presumably means that certain designers have been chosen to dress her (not for free) and those designers have been sworn to secrecy.

Somewhat related–William and Kate’s itinerary for Canada was just released via AP and it sounds like we’ll get to see Kate in much more casual fare than we’re used to, as planned activities include campfires, cooking workshops, a dragon boat race, a canoe trip, a barbecue and a rodeo, for which the couple “will be given 10-gallon cowboy hats and are expected to dress in jeans and casual western clothes for the extravaganza.”

We’ll especially be looking forward to the cowboy hat.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Kate and William Look Awkward on a Coin

Critics are screaming "off with their heads" at Britain's Royal Mint's renderings of Kate Middleton and Prince William on a commemorative wedding coin. Some observers charge that it makes the princess-to-be look "plump" and has her royal fiance sporting "Elvis" hair.

That's not all: UK newspapers are suggesting Middleton's visage looks like she had her lips inflated and one royal watcher compared Prince William's minted resemblance to former Vice President Al Gore.

The Daily Mail notes that while the couple's official Mario Testino engagement photos were tastefully airbrushed, the coins have rendered the couple unrecognizable. Middleton looks "masculine" while her upper lip has been "plumped beyond" recognition.
The tabloid gives the mint kudos for discreetly disguising the prince's thinning hair, but complains his "Adam's apple matches the size of his nose." Ouch!

The Mirror complained that Middleton looks "chunkier and older" on the coin and said that while Prince William came out handsomer than his future bride, "he has been engraved with what seems to be an Elvis Presley quiff."

William and Kate Will Scrub Their Own Toilets

You would think that by marrying a prince you'd get a servant to wipe your ass, a servant to spray lavender oil on your after-BM anus, a servant to pick our your eye snots, a servant to make sure the butter slices fully melt in your baked potato before serving it (I HATE NON-MELTED BUTTER SLICES), etc... etc... The whole point of marrying a prince is so you don't have to live like a dirty filthy commoner anymore. But Kate Middleton will have to continue to live like a dirty filthy commoner, because word is that she won't have any household help after she married Prince William. The poor homeless peasants on the street are like, "It's so hard being Prince Willy and Kate."
Butthole Prince Charles has a staff of 150 that costs around $9.6 million a year, but Prince William and Kate want to live like the normal people do. They will do their own laundry, cooking, and cleaning. They will only employ bodyguards to protect them while they try to live like all of us.