No, GIR, These Pigs Are For Science! SCIENCE!

Blog
I MISS my Invader Zim DVDs, dammit. Also I'd like a tiny piggy. Title is from Invader Zim, in case you missed that.

Watchmen
* Have I posted this Watchmen comic summary?

[Found at the International Society of Supervillains]
It's very disturbing.

Comics
* I love Joe Hill, and I love comics, so when he writes comics there is no negativity to be found. Plus the Lovecraftian angle is massively entertaining:

[Found at Joe Hill Fiction]
Of course, my local comic book store does not CARRY these comics, and the one that does is far away and if I go in while wearing a skirt there's a serious chance of one of the clerks stroking, because females don't read books with PICTURES, HAHA. God, I hate this town sometimes.

Words Of Win

...with the news that Mexico’s navy uncovered more than one ton of cocaine hidden inside frozen shark carcasses, humans have now done every possible thing there is to do in the world.

Welp, we had a good run, did we not? I for one enjoyed the clothes, and some of the people, and energy drinks. WHO looks at sharks, and thinks cocaine? Similarly, what sick bastard dreams of stuffing dead sharks with cocaine? WHAT IS GOING ON?! It must be Thursday. I could never get the hang of Thursdays.

Inglourious Basterds
* I take a lot of shit from my beloved and well-meaning friends over my Quentin Tarantino love. It's easy to ignore, because true love is BEYOND their petty jealousy, and I've been hearing the same shit since I was twelve, so I'm immune. But when one of my friends sent me a link with the words, 'What the HELL is your fiancee wearing?" I felt cold, clammy fear:

[Found at Go Fug Yourself]
Oh, honey, NO. WHY? It HURTS me so. Clearly, you are just trying to steer my attention away from Jackie Earle Haley and your friend Tim Roth, who does not GO OUT IN PUBLIC DRESSED WITH FROGS ON HIM.
I have decided to endorse the following explanation:

Or is it possible that he overslept and ran to the Spike Awards having forgotten to change out of his pajama top? Because the truth of the matter is, I love the idea of QT wandering around his house in these jammies that look like this. It just sounds so RIGHT.

It does sound right. It sounds wonderful. Oh, QT, our love defies such petty things as distance, or reality, or hideous fashion choices, or my friends' accurate statement that 'He looks like an expensive sausage' or ANY of it. Because I've had a crush on you since I was twelve, and some things are DOOMED.
But then again, my mother loves frogs, so perhaps this is all a clever plan to win over my mom, who finds my love for you 'weird and gross'? BRILLIANT, SIR. MAKE ANOTHER FROM DUSK TILL DAWN, PLEASE.

Daily Hot Guy

[Zack Snyder, AKA Hottest Director Around. I was considering leaving Quentin Tarantino as today's DHG, but even I, who admit I have a CRUSH, don't think that picture is the best example of his win. So here's a very hot director, and if anyone could find me a picture of Snyder and Tarantino together, I will be your best friend. In theory.]

Life Lessons
* This blog does not have a good history with Venn Diagrams, but I like this one, so let's try it again, SHALL WE?

[Found at Neatorama]
For what it's worth, I'm against any pet that seems interested in chewing on your childs' head. I am FIRM on that matter.

Sherlock Holmes
* Gareth David-Lloyd is Watson in a Sherlock Holmes adaptation. His mustache is tiny and makes me sad, but his suit makes me happy, and as someone who has read everything Sir Arthur Conan Doyle wrote, multiple times, and ALSO loves Gareth David-Lloyd, you will find NO SNARK from me here. Even if there is a freaking T-Rex, which is NOT what Sir Arthur Conan Doyle had in mind, and WHO WROTE THIS? I NEED TO SPEAK TO THE AUTHOR.

Celebrity!Fail
* Is today director's day on my blog? It must be. And no, Quentin could never go in this category. THE MAN WROTE TRUE ROMANCE. KNEEL BEFORE HIM.
Anyway, what the fuck is Spike Lee wearing on his head?

[Found at Best Week Ever]
Keep him away from Quentin. The man has enough issues without putting THIS on his massive, massive head.

Whut?
* Yeah, this category is for shit I do not understand. I don't know:

[Found at World Of Wonder]
Really, I have no fucking clue. It's a barbell with LEGS.

Oh, and this is both a tribute to the brilliant and lovely Miss Banshee, who made this, and a gift to my friend who is having a long day:


Time to go kick Thursday in the nuts. Better wear cute shoes...
- LV

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They Don't Like It When You Shoot At 'Em. I Worked That Out Myself.

Blog
* Mal, you even make war charming. Which may not be a good thing. Title is from Firefly.

* Because I usually post them at night, because that's when I make them, here are more shirts I made, including Inglourious Basterds, True Blood, Torchwood, and Heroes.
And due to a sale at AC Moore, I have more T-Shirts, and need ideas. IDEAS, PEOPLE. Send them to me. Although I think it's pretty much guaranteed that I'll be making a Dollhouse one, not because I love the show so much as I love Alpha, and a Team Alpha shirt is too bad-ass to ignore. And a V For Vendetta one. And maybe a Preacher one. And I still need to finish designing my Transmetropolitan one. Oh, hell...

* World Peace Through Jackie Earle Haley: We give you Jackie Earle Haley AND the chance to win free stuff. What more do you need from life? Answer: NOTHING.

Freakangels Friday
* REALLY. I can't get on the damn site, and this makes me ANGRY, because I feel like Warren Ellis does these things on purpose, just to mess with me. I am easy to mess with. I just screamed at the TV and turned off CNN, because I cannot deal with their shitty, shitty reporting. I want to know about politics, and I do not CARE who Michael Jackson is buried near. Anyway, FREAKANGELS is up, SUPPOSEDLY, but the site isn't working for me, and I don't think that's fair. When I worked at Barnes & Nobles, I got in trouble for trying to get everyone to buy Mr. Ellis' first novel, Crooked Little Vein:
'I need a book for my granddaughter. She's eleven.'
'I'm looking for a book on relationships.'
'I want a dinosaur book!
'I need a book by Nicholas Sparks.'
The store is closed now. No fault of mine. The page for FREAKANGELS still won't load, but maybe it will, later, and then we'll all be OK? Yes?
Edit: It's working now, but I'm afraid to close the page. So it will remain open, and as every Friday, Spoilers and review will be after my signature at the bottom.

Food
* Beer in a pouch! Like the astronauts drink!

[Found at DVICE]
Although they probably don't let astronauts drink, what with the technology and the disasters that could lead to. But yes, beer in a pouch. It preserves the flavor, but you look like a loser. Because there is NOTHING intimidating about crushing an empty pouch with your hand. Nothing at all.

Books
* I speak Latin. Not well, but I took it from sixth grade on, and I've tried to keep up with it. Not for any reason. I just like Latin. I think it's pretty, and unlike French I don't sound like I'm mocking the whole culture whenever I open my mouth. So I knew what all these Latin phrases you pretend to understand meant, but I can't do simple geometry, which I think says something quite profound about my brain. And they didn't include the phrase from my Hunter Thompson shirt, so I sit here all smug.
This isn't really about books, but I couldn't think of a better place to put it.

Star Trek
* Because The Next Generation simply does not get enough love on this blog, and Data was the best ever, and Brent Spiner's Twitter never fails to amuse AND alarm me:

[Found at ONTD_StarTrek]

Torchwood
* I am so, so sorry. I apologize for this, and it makes me sad to have these opinions, so I will keep it brief:
- The more I think about it, the less I feel I'll be watching the next season of Torchwood, simply because there is no one left to watch, and if Jack Harkness just shrugs off the events of Children of the Earth, I will lose ANY remaining goodwill I have towards him.
- Comics, like books, do not have the beautiful Welsh vowels of Gareth David-Lloyd, and are therefore nowhere near as fun, even if the stories are sometimes much better than the actual show.
- The art for the Torchwood comic is not good at all. I'm sorry. But I don't like it. Even if they dress Ianto in red.

[Found at DreadCentral]
That is all.

Inglourious Basterds
* I nearly wrote 'Inglourious Bakers, because I want pie. Anyway, this category is more about Quentin Tarantino than simply his latest film, but I'm too lazy to change it. And because apparently this is the week when people I admire are awesome to their fans, Mr. Tarantino congratulates two brothers on their spoof of the Royale with Cheese scene in Pulp Fiction. Watching the clip, I pretty much just want to steal his jacket. I know, I have issues. Moving on.

Here's the video that amused Mr. Tarantino so very much:


Daily Hot Guy(s)

[Jackie Earle Haley AND Zack Snyder and Malin Ackerman (I have nothing against her, but she fails to be a hot guy, daily or otherwise) and they are adorable and holding a giant Watchmen picture, so there is nothing bad about this picture at ALL, except of course that I fail to EVER be at the San Diego Comic-Con.]

WhedonVerse
* Here is a list of the Biggest of the Big Bads from the shows of Joss Whedon. I generally agree with this list, but how is Alpha not a big bad? Dude will slice and dice you, and look totally innocent while doing it!
The Mayor was always one of my favorite Big Bads.

"Now, Faith, I don't find that sort of thing amusing. I'm a family man. Now, let's kill your little friend. Don't worry, I wouldn't ask you to do it. Not this early in the relationship. Besides, I think a vampire attack would look less suspicious, anyway. In the meantime, let's look at the rest of the apartment, huh? If I'm not mistaken, some lucky girl has herself a PlayStation"

People I Love
* Kevin Smith is doing a twenty-four hour Tweet-a-Thon. To promote stuff. As someone who just hit 10,000 tweets (I work on a computer most of the day, and I have a lot of things to say, and frankly I don't think YOU tweet ENOUGH) I find this exciting and entertaining, and he is a very funny man. Look at part of the press release:

“This is not news at all. In fact, it’s kinda stupid. But I wanna see if I can do it. I’ve been training for this my whole life, simply by being a lazy fat-ass who’d rather stare at a screen than better himself with a brisk constitutional. Someone asked what my training regiment is gonna be, and I told them I’ve already stockpiled lots of Count Chocula.”

Kevin Smith needs to be mayor of some town. My town? YES. He's from New Jersey, too, you know. Jersey!Win. Wow, that was strange to type....

Stuff To Live
* I love steampunk, but I never thought I'd type the following sentence: I desperately need a steampunk mechanical cheetah:

[Found at LikeCool]
I don't even know or care if it works. But I need one in my life. Don't you? Really, don't we all? Hats off to whoever made this. My shirts are shamed, now.

Movie!Fail
* Paramount sucks. I know I've discussed Shutter Island's move before, and I am sure I will continue to do so until it comes out, because it is UNFAIR AND ANNOYING, and frankly everyone at Paramount eats blind kittens and spits on babies and hates Bruce Campbell, so you KNOW they are evil.
I'd like to blame this all on Stephenie Meyers, but I can't quite suss out how. Give me time.

I have many things to complete today, and it is a lovely day, so methinks I will spend it sitting outside, listening to music and working. But first, I will read FREAKANGELS, because Warren Ellis is not to be trifled with.
- LV

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR THIS WEEKS' FREAKANGELS BELOW
CLIFFHANGER! And where the fuck is Karl? And Arkady? They are my favorites. And Kirk wasn't shot in the crotch? I thought that was the POINT.
The art in this one is gorgeous. The rain... it's beautiful. I want a print of this somewhere. I want to make a FREAKANGELS shirt. But only if Karl continues to not die. His death would terribly upset me. And Kait is out of her gourd, but she reminds me a lot of Rorschach. Very methodical. You have to admire that. From a distance.
Thank you, internet, and Warren Ellis, for allowing me to have FREAKANGELS.

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I'm Real Sorry Your Mom Blew Up, Ricky.

Blog
* Because it's Saturday, and I haven't had any coffee yet, and there are STUPID PEOPLE ABOUT, and anyway, eighties teen comedies are fun. Title is from Better Off Dead.

Russell Brand
* This is almost disturbingly appealing:

[Found at AccidentalSexiness]
Russell Brand, with that ridiculous headband, and a small and endearing little blonde child? Yes, please. These are from Get Him To The Greek, and here's another, less 'DAW'-inducing photograph:

[Found at AccidentalSexiness]
More pictures are here, and they are all divine. Can't wait for this to come out!
PS I cannot remember who sent me this website, because I suck, so if it was you, E-Mail me and you will be thanked publicly.
Edit: As I suspected, these images were sent to me by the lovely and deviant BossMew, who will on day introduce me to Russell Brand. In my mind.
Jackie Earle Haley
* World Peace Through Jackie Earle Haley: Now with 150% more awesome. Yes, I know you can't exceed 100%. But we can. And do. And we're on iTunes! So go have a listen, and bring some peace into your life.

* Mr. Haley is getting sick and tired of the makeup for Nightmare On Elm Street, and will shank a bitch. I should not find this charming.

* Jackie Earle Haley can absolutely bring it for the role of Freddy Kreuger. The question, as it is, is does this film deserve him? That remains to be seen. But I think Mr. Haley is talented enough to walk away from the movie, even if it stinks on high. Which I do not want it to. That would be sad.

Animals
* I love this story so much. Apparently, wallabies are eating medicinal poppies, getting stoned, hopping around in circles, and making crop circles. OR IS IT ALL A CONSPIRACY? No, it's true, because this is too ridiculous to be made up. I want a stoned wallaby. I shall name it Frederick.

Daily Hot Guy

[Zack Snyder, director of Watchmen, who is adorable in this picture for someone who likes slow-motion extreme violence]

Girly Shit
* This is an adorable outfit. I want that hat so badly, even though it's freaking hot here today, and such a hat might result in my demise:

[Found at The Coveted]
I also would like the cookie she shows later in the post. To go with the hat.

Music
* This is so awesome. With Album Spotter, you export your iTunes library, and it tells you if you have the most recent albums from your favorite bands. I need this. I need this bad. So once I figure out how to export my music library, I will know all the music lacking in my life. Even though I seem content these days to listen to Fanmixes. Go figure.

Technology
* So it's hard for diabetic kids to remember to test their glucose (When I was a substitute teacher, I had to remind certain kids, and they NEVER remembered on their own. Then again, I think they enjoyed my anxiety, so it may have been intentional.)
This glucose tester unlocks Nintendo DS rewards for kids, if they consistently remember to test their levels. This is genius. Why am I not smart enough to think of things like this? My solution is to yell. No technology required.

Watchmen
* This drawing was done by danceswithelvis, who is also on the World Peace Through Jackie Earle Haley podcast, and is a supreme genius, and when I grow up I hope to be half as cool as she is. HALF:

Let it Rain by *DanceswithElvis on deviantART
The textures in this are stunning. I love the depth of color in the background.

* Caro, who runs the podcast, made this video.

At least, I think she did. I'm not sure, and I'm drinking two cups of coffee SIMULTANEOUSLY to make up for the lack caffeine this morning. Anyway, Caro is a brilliant computer person, and a die-hard Jackie Earle Haley fan, and she could destroy us all with a flick of her wrist, but she never would because she's so damn nice. I consider us lucky.
Edit: She did make the video. I should have known, because it kicks ass. I am sorry I let everyone down with my not knowing of such things. So go watch it TWICE to make up for my ignorance.

* This picture makes me so profoundly happy:

Rorschach's Balloon by ~SiriusFenrin on deviantART
Saturday!Schach.

Tattoo Of Win

[Found at LOLTATZ]
So, plus ten for creative ick, but minus several million when it comes to good taste.

Words Of in

see more Fail Blog

Food

[Found at SlashFood]
Oh, look at the robot making sushi! It's so cute and funny! How nifty! I wonder if I can get one to bring ho- IT'S GOT MY THROAT I CAN'T BREATHE- BLURGH.

Books
* I'd like to apologize to every self-published author I ever mocked. Clearly I was wrong, and petty, and jealous. I apologize again, because it seems that these can land you real book deals, with money and respect, and I NEED THESE THINGS. Seriously, I am house-sitting now as a second job. TELL ME WHAT I HAVE TO DO TO SELL SOMETHING I WROTE. SERIOUSLY.

* Shutter Island is an excellent book.

More later, possibly. I have many many things to do today. Important things.
- LV

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I Wanna Lick Your Mind!

Blog
* I know it's meant as a compliment, but... that can't be sanitary. Title is from True Blood, WHICH I MISSED THIS WEEK, and need to watch on HBO On Demand, because apparently there was a foppish 1920s vampire.

Tattoo Of Win
* This tattoo is so gross I don't want to post it on my blog. But I will post the link, because that way it's not MY responsibility if you click it. But really. This is NSFW. It is Not Safe For Anything. I just.... It skeeves me. But it's definitely a Win, because if I met someone with this tattoo I would never be able to look at them again.

Food
* Germany found cocaine in Red Bull. Trace amounts. Which completely explains my attitude during my senior year of college. I was writing a paper about Red Bull, so I thought it would be edgy and post-modern to write a paper on Red Bull while drinking nothing BUT Red Bull. Unfortunately this resulted in me crying for no reason, screaming at things that weren't there, shaking, and developing a twitch. I was a wreck. They have this little car with a giant Red Bull can on it, in New York, for promotional purposes? I tried to chase it down the street. Point is, it would be much less humiliating to have to say, 'I was secretly addicted to cocaine,' instead of, 'I drank too much sugar free Red Bull and my brain cells committed suicide.
And for those who say Red Bull isn't a food? It is when you're in college. It's AMBROSIA when you're in college. I'm so glad I switched to coffee.

Words Of Win

[Found at CoolHunting]

Hunter S. Thompson
* If you read one website, read this one, obviously.
If you listen to one podcast, listen to this one.
If you read one website about Hunter S. Thompson... still read mine. But this one, too, because it's got lots of goodies. Including a petition to get Fear and Loathing: On The Campaign Trail '72 into the Modern Library, because it's one of the greatest books ever written, and what this blog is named after (NOT Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, although I love that book as well). So go sign the petition, or the god of Journalism will rise from the dead and show you images of dogs fucking the pope until your eyes rupture. He does these things. Not my fault.

Books
* My word! Is that the smell of bullshit? Yes, yes it is! Ah, the robust odor of pretension, with... yes... just a smack of ignorance! This person took people's SAT scores from Facebook, and books they listed as their favorites, averaged them out, and determined which books smart people read vs. dumb people.

[Found at SociologicalImages]
Now, I could spend literally HOURS screaming about this. I'm tempted to. Only I have work and a life, and screaming for hours would be time-consuming, yes? So I'm going to point out the most unforgivable bits of bullshit:
- He's Just Not That Into You is smarter than Where The Red Fern Grows
- Angels and Demons is smarter than Lord of the Flies
- The Lovely Bones is smarter than A Tree Grows In Brooklyn (WHAT. THE. HELL. WHAT IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE EVER?)
- Not reading at all is smarter than Fahrenheit 451
- Life of Pi is smarter than The Catcher In The Rye
- The Da Vinci Code is smarter than Hamlet
Let's ignore the fact that arguing for which books make you 'smart' is ridiculous, as there is a drastic difference between reading a book in school and actually understand and enjoying it. I'm more horrified by the quality, and that your SAT scores determine your intelligence, and that generally speaking books I really find infuriating did so well on this, and that The Color Purple is apparently only the vestige of dumb people. That is MORONIC. Smart people can like stupid books, and awful, ignorant people can like good books. THIS IS NOT A VALID REPRESENTATION OF INTELLIGENCE. I hate this chart. It has ruined my morning. CHART FAIL. And HOW funny is it that not reading is considered 'smarter' than reading Fahrenheit 451? It's so funny! These are tears of laughter!

Harry Potter
* Here is an article on the homosexual undertones of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. It had to be done. But Alan Rickman does NOT look like a New Wave lesbian in a CAPE, and shame on you for insulting him SO. I don't really agree overall, and to be honest I was more interested in saying things like, 'Where the hell is Neville in this movie?' and 'Damn, Draco became a MAN. He's legal now, yes?'

Daily Hot Guy

[Zack Snyder, director of Dawn of the Dead, 300, and Watchmen, secret lover of Blu-Ray (show us the Dark Mark, ZACK) and disproving the theory that directors are not hot]

Star Trek



* Star Trek/Office Space macros. You're welcome.

Doctor Who
* I am still mad at Russell T. Davies, but I love both David Tennant and John Barrowman, and do not blame them for the sins of TV shows they happen to be in, or the EMOTIONAL RETARDATION OF CHARACTERS WHO CANNOT ADMIT THEIR LOVE TO PEOPLE THEY WILL NEVER SEE AGAIN. I'm fine, I'm back, it's all good. Anyway, my friend Larissa, who chose the 'I will wreck this place with my anger' attitude instead of my 'Crying in the corner and naming everything in the house Ianto and drinking' attitude, because she's more mature than I am, sent me this clip:
DAMMIT. EPIC FAIL OF INTERNET. FINE, ONLY ME AND LARISSA GET TO SEE THE HOTNESS. HAHAHA.

I need to go to work now.
- LV

PS If you don't listen to World Peace Through Jackie Earle Haley, the best podcast ever, I'll expose your horrible secret. I KNOW WHAT YOU DID. Also, it's incredibly funny.

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Never Trust A Species That Grins All The Time. It's Up To Something.

Blog
* Title is from the Discworld series by Terry Pratchett (specifically Pyramids) and is the defense I use whenever I declare war on the dolphins, who will bail at the first sign of trouble. Jerks.

Tattoo Of Win

[Found at LOLTATZ]
Well. That was certainly one way to start off the day. Blind.

Food
* This link will give you food and drink hacks, including:
- How to build a fire with chocolate and Coke.
- Open a beer bottle with a piece of paper.
- Not cry while cutting onions.
The first one I listed will obviously be useful when the zombies attack, but mostly I just want to see people try to do these hacks and fail. 'Look, dudes, take the piece of paper, take the beer bottle, and- OH GODS MY EYES THE BEER STINGS!' Then I laugh and open my beer bottle with an opener.

Words of Win

see more Fail Blog

YouTube Wonders
* This isn't being posted because it obliquely has to do with Michael Jackson. This is being posted because the reporter HIT a dude, and that is always funny. But the real beauty is the expression of amused horror on the anchor's face.

EMBED-Reporter Slaps Drunk Michael Jackson Fan - Watch more free videos

Books
* Here is an article on why even 'young authors' are generally in their thirties. Clearly I need to break this trend, and be published by twenty-five. So I need to have written a book by the time I was ten, and MAYBE the book would be out by now if the editing process had gone smoothly. By my calculations, if I finish editing my book by the end of THIS month, and send it out to agents, etc, I can expect to be published around the time I start wearing turbans and apply for Social Security (which won't exist anymore!). So... shit. I'm depressed. Switching from alcohol to hard booze.

People I Love
* Ryan Gosling is one of the very, VERY few people allowed to get away with shit like this:

[Found at BestWeekEver]
And even he had better not push it. But he was on the Mickey Mouse Club AND Are You Afraid of the Dark?. He can do whatever the hell he wants.

Remake!Fail
* This is a joke, right? It's not a remake, but... WHY would anyone make a movie out of Asteroids? There is no plot. There are no characters. There is a tiny ship, and it shoots asteroids and aliens. The ship can't even move very much. There are no graphics, and frankly that's great and I loved this game when I got my first computer (it was called a Unicorn (I'm serious) and I still want to know what truck from hell that machine fell off the back of, but at nine I thought it was rad) and I played it all the time, and I don't WANT Hollywood to do anything with it. LEAVE ASTEROIDS ALONE.

Depression Session
* You should be ashamed of yourself. Yes, you. What with all the hard work our government is putting into the economy, most consumers still have no confidence. So it's YOUR fault that we're all screwed and going to die poor and alone. Not the corrupt companies that screwed us out of untold millions of dollars, or the economic climate, or ANYTHING. It's not my fault. I bought TWO books at Borders yesterday, and one was a HARDCOVER. It's all because you won't buy me an apartment. Don't get me STARTED on the housing market. That's your fault too. Also global warming and Jennifer Anniston's movie career. Well? What do you have to say for yourself?

TeeVee
* Fuck it. I spent ten minutes cursing at the computer and trying to figure out how to embed the trailer for Bored To Death, the new show on HBO coming this fall and starring two guys I like with ridiculously challenging last names (Jason Schwartzman and Zach Galifianakis, and you bet your sweet ass I copy and pasted that) and I ADORE detective themed things, which is why I still love Raymond Chandler and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, but I couldn't figure out all the damn technical shit, and I'm TIRED and was up late trying to figure out a scene in my book (180 pages typed, and they are all BAD, YAAAAY!) and I have work today and people are not texting me back so I don't KNOW what's happening tonight, and I really want to curl up and read The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, because I can't read The Strain until I finish MY vampire book, and everyone is SICK of vampires anyway, and HBO is on my shit list because Hung is not funny AT ALL, so you know what? Click on the damn link, and then watch Bored To Death, because writers pretending to be detectives is AWESOME.

Daily Hot Guy

[Zack Snyder, director of Dawn of the Dead (the remake, which I fucking love, and you should love, although of course it doesn't have the political and social commentary of the original), 300 (dooming me to eternally scream, "THIS. IS. INSERT WORD HERE" and imagine I am kicking irritating people into the Pit of Death), and of course, Watchmen, which DID NOT SUCK and he had Jackie Earle Haley play Rorschach, WHICH IS ALL I NEED OUT OF LIFE, and Snyder lives his life entirely in slow-motion, and really, directors are not supposed to be sexy, and his appeal is WARPING my fragile mind, but in a good way, and STOP MAKING EVERYTHING BLU-RAY, you sexy devil, you]

Comics
* Oh, LA Times, go fuck yourself. A girl can like comics. Not just because of the hot guys (which, obviously, I do appreciate a great deal) but because comics and science fiction and fantasy kick ASS. I have been to the New York Comic Con, and you KNOW what I got the most excited about? Saying hi to Mike Mignola, seeing Neil Gaiman speak, and harassing the poor DC Comics guy about why Ron Perlman wasn't going to play The Comedian in Watchmen (not that Jeffrey Dean Morgan didn't do an amazing job). Also the free shit and seeing Bill Hader gush about Neil Gaiman and accidentally body-checking Chris Carter as he ran to the bathroom. And the lightsaber fights.
Look, in many ways girls that go to ComicCons are like girls who do not: some of us like hot guys and makeup and shoes. Some of us do not (I do, as you probably know by now, but I am not representative of anyone but myself). The point is, I can't imagine paying the amount of money you have to put down for a ComicCon just to stare psychotically at an attractive male. Why can't I do both? I'm complicated, and I can be just as excited about asking Mike Mignola if he thinks the film version of Hellboy remains true to the mythology set down in the comics AND think Zachary Quinto is hot. I can multitask, dammit. Now I'm offended and angry and running out of coffee and just sort of pissed I can't afford to go to ANY ComicCon's this year, the end.

Journalism
* Malcolm Gladwell sez: "You can't start blogging at 23 and call yourself a journalist."
ElleVee sez: "What the hell do you call this then? You're just jealous because I'm not old and saggy."

* If a tree falls in the forest and hits Bill O'Reilly, will he FINALLY stop screaming? No. He never will.

* World, if you are serious about Long Island being a state, I will sign whatever you need to get that done:


Wow
* For all those people who don't think pyromania is sexy:

[Found at LikeCool]

[Found at LikeCool]
Well, I have a new crush. Fire is the cleanser. Of LOVE. Click here for a ton more pictures.

Geek Want
* I'm lying, I don't want to own these shoes:

[Found at BoingBoing]
I want to HANG OUT with someone wearing these shoes, and bask in the light of their awesome and win. Like, if Jackie Earle Haley wore these shoes, the world would implode with sheer coolness.

Politics
* Continuing our Sarah Palin coverage, here are a few quick links of rumors that may turn out to be true, for your edification:
- Sarah Palin is maybe going to work to stop abortion, even though she CHOSE to have her youngest child, which is what being PRO-CHOICE IS ABOUT.
- Sarah Palin lost her shit over shit over the piles of paperwork and legal issues and can't handle you all YELLING AT HER ALL THE TIME, so she quit to go not be a quitter, because clearly quitting is what you do when you're a FIGHTER.
- Sarah Palin had a long and serious talk with Dick Cheney and Rudy Giuliani before deciding to run screaming into the woods of of Alaska. Clearly, a dude who SHOT A DUDE IN THE FACE and also wants America to be attacked, and another dude who married his cousin and makes me think of the movie Leprechaun, are the perfect people to consult when making important life choices.

The one good thing about CNN? Anderson Cooper and his Arms of Morality.
- LV

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