I Can Finally Build That Lake House, & I'll Run Around Naked All Day

Blog
* I will not be visiting your lake house. Title is from Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law.

Politics
* Remember when the President made one of his Very Important Speeches? And everyone was talking about Bobby Jindal, who would strike terror into the hearts of liberals everywhere? And recharge the Republican party? And then he came out, and nobody could understand what the hell he was talking about, and he seemed like a wet noodle, and everyone was like, all, never mind?

Well, Bobby Jindal hates ACORN too, and is cutting their funding, because they are EVIL, not that they had any funding ANYWAY, but he wants to cut their funding, damn it, and wants you to know about it. So now you know.

Food
* Do you love cakes? Of course you do. Do you love Threadless T-Shirts? Well, OBVIOUSLY. Everyone does. So why has it taken someone so long to combine the two? Let's not dwell on the negative. Suffice it to say, someone took this shirt:

[Found at Threadless]
And turned it into this culinary masterpiece:

[Found at Thread Cakes]
There is a whole website for this contest, but this one was my favorite. Now I want to eat shirts. What? There's precious little caffeine in my system right now.

Celebrity!Fail
* This is one of those incidents where it's not just the celebrity's fault, but 'Normal People Fail' doesn't have the same ring, does it? Here's what happened:
Jane Smith, who is on Hung, and who I like a lot (in no small part because she is the Saddest Person Ever in pretty much every role)was at a restaurant, couldn't pay her check, and didn't tip her waiter. Her waiter, annoyed, Twittered about it. She saw it and complained. he got fired, the end.
Now, as an actor, you need to totally get over the fact that if you do something lame, (like not tipping your waiter) people will be annoyed, and most likely complain about it. Get over it. You ALWAYS tip your waiter, unless you're Steve Buscemi in Reservoir Dogs, but that's totally different. And fictional.
And if you're someone in the service industry with any common sense, you don't whine about specific celebrities BY NAME on a public communication network like Twitter. Because there will be REPERCUSSIONS.
In conclusion, everyone calm the hell down. It's not a big deal. We will all survive this. Remember to tip your waiters.

Zombies
* I am seeing Zombieland today. FINALLY. And soon Walking Dead will be on TV, and life will be GOOD, as we all come to terms with the imminent menace facing humanity. Here's an interview where Robert Kirkman, writer of the epic comic series, discusses the show. It fills me with GLEE. Not the show, Glee. Although now I'm imagining Rachel fighting zombies, and it's FANTASTIC.

Apocalypse How?
* Speaking of zombies, (and really, aren't we always) guns are generally accepted as the weapon of choice against the undead (but remember, hand-to-hand combat weapons are vital, and should not be ignored in your arsenal), apparently America has a shitload of guns, but NO BULLETS. NO BULLETS AT ALL. So unless you plan on overpowering an army of zombies by hitting them repeatedly on the head, this would be a good time to panic, or maybe start making your own bullets. I have no idea how to do this. Do the Winchester brothers know? Who has their number?

Daily Hot Guy(s)

[Milo Ventimiglia (I SPELLED IT RIGH) and Adrian Pasdar, AKA Peter and Nathan Petrelli from Heroes. Peter is annoying me so much less this season, which is nice. And Nathan is such a scumbag that I find him rather attractive (especially this season, for obvious reasons. But mostly I like this picture because I shriek BROMANCE IS CANON, then run off giggling like a dork, simply to annoy other Heroes fans.]

Epic!Fail
* Some lady was driving home, and some kids asked her to splash them with a puddle. She did so, much to their delight. Now she may be facing charges because water ruins the lives of children everywhere. And fun. Fun is frowned upon. And, you know, cherished memories, joys, laughter....

OK, more later, if you're lucky, because it is a rainy day and there is MUCH to do.
- LV

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Well I Appreciate Your Honesty. Not, You Know, A Lot But…

Blog
* That's how most people feel about Mal and his honesty. Title is from Firefly. Did you WATCH Castle last night? I do love him so. Nathan Fillion is wonderful.

* It's a SHARK in a BEAR-SUIT:

[Made by Erin]
I think very soon Mr. Shark is going to discover that it's hard enough to run when you're a shark, let alone a shark dressed as a bear. And Mr. Doggy will learn that bears and sharks taste the same - like chicken!

Nostalgia!Win
* I had a nice playground growing up, with monkey bars and a slide and a sandbox and such. But my playground had NOTHING on this one, in Japan:

[Found at Mental Floss]
God dammit, I want a redo on my childhood. Their playground is built into a HILL. Mine had a wooden dragon. I loved that dragon, but WHO CARES? HILL-GAMES:

[Found at Mental Floss]
There are ten more from around the world, including New York, Australia, and a scary tire playground that's also in Japan. Further proof that kids these days are spoiled rotten. Let's punish the lucky brats with hairy-pubed hobbit dolls.

WhedonVerse
* Joss Whedon won an Emmy.
I just like reminding myself of that fact, sometimes. And Dollhouse is going to return on Friday, which means I MUST finish watching it before then (yes I saw it, but Dollhouse is the sort of show where you really need to remember everything that happened, or you're SCREWED. So watch Dollhouse, because then maybe we'll get a Dr. Horrible sequel. AND LIFE WOULD BE GOOD.

People I Love
* You should listen to NY Geekcast because Erin is on it, and she's awesome and a genius. Plus, they give such gifts as this, a video of Seth Rogen doing stand-up in 1996:

He was thirteen. I was ten. TRUE LOVE? To be honest, I kind of want to pinch his cheeks. That's a weird response.

Depression Session
* Since soon we will all have no money, but we will ALL have Swine Flu H1N1, and then anyone unwise enough to sneeze around us, or even burp but it sounds like a sneeze, will be beaten to death with long sticks, to keep the germs at bay. FUN TIMES.
But luckily, you can make your own eco-friendly hand-sanitizer, to use before and after you beat the infected with sticks. It will be like 28 Days Later..., only cleaner.

Daily Hot Guy

[Milo Ventigliannnnno, or whatever. I don't like him much. I mean, yes, he's very attractive, and he does a fine job as Angst King on Heroes. I had a huge crush on him when he was Jesse on Gilmore Girls (SHUTUPDON'TJUDGEME), and I think he's a good actor. I just find Peter annoying as fuck. But you know what? I am selfless, and therefore this is for my friend Larissa. Happy Tuesday.]

Jersey!Fail
* 728 people from my state were ticketed in a New Jersey crosswalk sting. They also issued 907 warnings in four days. Added with the other statistics, every single person in my tiny, overcrowded little state got yelled at over the past month. We're all very sorry.
Welcome to the Garden State. We have crosswalk stings. I think that's sort of awesome. And no, I was not yelled at. I'm a good driver. It's the rest of the country that doesn't know how to merge.

Fandom
* This is a handy venn diagram for what category you fall into.

[Found at Neatorama]
I was going to to write a funny piece about which category people around me picked to define me, and then I'd get angry and indignant. Instead, this conversation took place:
Me: Mom, pick a category.
Mom: What do I do?
Me: Pick the category that defines me. It's a Venn diagram.
Mom: I know what it is, I used to teach these.
Me: OK, then tell me what defines me.
Mom: Intelligence.
Me: Um, no, that's not how it works.
Mom: I KNOW what a Venn diagram is.
Me: Ok, then pick!
Mom: Intelligent geeky nerd.
Me: No, OK, you're doing it wrong.
Mom: I am NOT. These parts overlap.
Me: Yes, exactly.
Mom: But you're not explaining-
Me: It's a VENN DIAGRAM.
Mom: I KNOW.
Me: You can't PICK intelligence.
Mom: Yes I can!
Me: That's like seeing a Venn diagram of A Tale Of Two Cities, Great Expectations, and Hard Times.
Mom: So?
Me: You can't PICK Great Expectations!
Mom: Because you're wrong!
Me: Shh, listen. You hear that? It's the sound of brain cells committing suicide.
This story ends happily, though. We're pretending the conversation never happened.

Stuff To Live
* These are not fruit, but sticky-notes:

[Found at Like Cool]
They are very pretty, and would look darling on my desk, and I am convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that they smell delicious.

Movie!Fail
* This is not a Fail because of Spike Jonze (I kind of love him a lot, including when he was in Three Kings, and his directing of Adaptation., and the fact that he introduced me to Charlie Kaufman, who is pure genius love).

* This is not a Fail because of Where The Wild Things Are (It is going to be the Best Movie Ever, and I keep watching the trailer and listening to Wake Up by Arcade Fire because of it, and it just makes me HAPPY, OK? I mean, have you SEEN Max's pajamas? I want them. I'm not joking even a little. I want those pajamas, because that is how they looked in the book, PERFECTLY. Seriously, I will cut someone if they express doubts about this movie. CUT THEM WITH MY EYES.

* In fact, I'm going to post the trailer again, because watching it daily will make the world a better place:


* No, this is a Fail solely because in some alternate universe not too far from our own, Spike Jonze directed the movie Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls. And that's a universe in which I wish to dwell.

Jackie Earle Haley
* Great piece on Dollman, which you all need to watch, because of Jackie Earle Haley. Obviously.

* Also, I cannot stop watching this gif. And I want that hat. And that sweater. And no one is EVER allowed to remake this movie, forever and ever, AMEN:


* I'm just posting this because we have not had nearly enough Rorschach on this blog as of late, which I think is actually illegal, and soon SkyNet will swoop down on me. I don't know why I picked SkyNet as my nemesis. I want Captain Hammer to be my nemesis:

And I know that, TECHNICALLY, it's Walter Kovacs in this picture, but not even Big Figure would be ass enough to call him 'Walter,' ever. I would. Because we're all locked in there with him. I need to read the comic again. And then watch the movie, and scream about plot holes.

OK, I need to go find Dollhouse, so I can be all caught up on it by Friday, unlike Heroes, which I had to DVR because I have no finished the Epic Rewatch. Which was sad, although it was on at the same time as House, anyway. ANDRE BRAUGHER AND FRANKA POTENTE! LOLA! This excited me. The rapping, not so much. I will review them later. And Castle is Castle. I wanna be a tall Russian redheaded chick with a gun. And Nathan Fillion, please.

I need to go shopping for a dress for another wedding. I don't mind. Any excuse to shop is good. Yes, I am indeed shallow AND deep. It's a contradiction.
- LV

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Man, I Don't Drop Character 'Till I Done The DVD Commentary.

Blog
* This may be why you're alone. Just saying. Title is from Tropic Thunder. Shut up, it was FUNNY.

* I am behind on responding to reader mail. I apologize, and will answer it all soon. Let me just say that Kay's theory on why my favorite characters always die makes a terrible sort of sense, and I am relieved there is a logic, and devastated that it will continue forever. Fandom HURTS, man.

Podcast
* The newest (and in my biased opinion, best) episode of the podcast World Peace Through Jackie Earle Haley is up now! So go listen. It's funny, and has Nightmare on Elm Street, Human Target, Watchmen, and Communist Seagulls. Plus, Caro redid the website with her magic computer skills, and it is ridiculously pretty. Looks and brains. Just like Jackie Earle Haley. So go listen.

Writing
* Kay asked, and I answer, because that is how the rolling goes here. Why do I keep saying that? Lack of sleep.
- My Typewriter novel is, essentially, a story about a young woman who finds a weird typewriter. I know, original, right? It's more about my love for anagrams and palindromes then a horror story though. It's about identity, which is a recurring theme in my writing. I don't know why. The idea appeals to me, I guess. Let's not dwell on it.

TeeVee
* My favorite part of the Emmys in the past few years was when RIcky Gervais yelled at everyone for failing to see Ghost Town, and then demanded Steve Carell hand over his awards. Anyway, True Blood got shafted, and so did Battlestar Galactica, which I still have not seen, but I have been ASSURED that I will have more ammunition for my Cursed Theory, so I am angry in advance that it got no love. Here's an article on why these shows, and others, did not receive the Kiss of Validation from the wrinkled lips of the Emmys.

Journalism
* I have seriously considered going to journalism school, only to be told by professional writers that it would spell doom, and the end of my love for writing, and also be a waste of money. And I trust these people, if only because they get paid to do what I do for free, which makes me think of that 'buying the cow' metaphor, and then I get all said.
Anyway: Columbia Journalism School is filthy. FILTHY. Also, one of my best friends went to Columbia, and she was not impressed, although they had a gorgeous campus, and people actually know the name of the school, as opposed to mine, which people seem to think is a JOKE. LIKE MY DEGREE OH SNAP. Sorry. It's Wednesday. That's the only excuse I got.

Wow
* This is the coolest office ever:

[Found at DVICE]
It's in Spain, where apparently they care about aesthetics. But because I'm me, I automatically think of the downside. I mean, what if you hate your colleagues? Or what if it rains a lot, and the whole thing floats away? I would laugh, but I doubt anyone else would. This would never work at my office. We need more space to be productive. Also, I watched 'Countrycide' last night, the episode of Torchwood that takes place in the country, and while Ianto looks banging in jeans, overall cannibalism is enough to make me want to stay home with my technology, thanks.
Still, I'd work there. If only to tell people that my office is see-through, and can be lifted on pulleys when it gets hot.

Geek Want
* I can't decide if I want these Star Trek sneakers or not:

[Found at GlamBoulevard]
I'd much prefer to have someone else wear them around me, all the time. Like Zachary Quinto. He should have to, to promote the movie. But yes, these are totally ridiculous, and I find that charming. Sneakers have nothing to do with Star Trek. There were no sneakers in Star Trek. And yet I am utterly delighted, because I am one of those tragic fans that will totally purchase anything with my fandom on it. I would have bought Nite Owl coffee. Just saying.

Daily Hot Guy

[Milo Ventimiglia, AKA Peter Petrelli from Heroes, who I do not actually like, but many of you do, and you asked, and I am generous, so you can have him. Leave me the TRUE hotties of Heroes: Zachary Quinto, Masi Oka, and Christopher Eccleston, with his Baby Alan Moore Beard, and his propensity to beat the shit out of Peter Petrelli]

Politics
* Wonkette respond to Birther accusations. They are all true. Obama was actually hatched.

* Loud Dobbs is also a Birther. Lou Dobbs is like a lesser Pat Buchanan to me. Is Uncle Pat a Birther? I bet he is. I hope he is. I'm not kidding. It would jar me if he wasn't. I love Pat Buchanan. I do. I love him and his crazy, and I hope he lives forever and yells a lot, and we can disagree over scotch.

* Look, say what you will about my political leanings, or opinions. We can agree to disagree. My more conservative friends and relatives do all the time. I love debate and dialogue, and I will easily admit that I am wrong about things sometimes. But can we all agree, regardless of political beliefs, that Dave Vitter gets off by wearing a diaper? And that fact will never stop being funny and HELL. Oh, the article's not about that at all. But I don't much care otherwise. DUDE HIRED A HOOKER TO PLAY BABY WITH. I don't care if he's the most liberal man on the goddamn planet, or if he backs up every one of my beliefs. That will be funny for ALWAYS. Yes, that is infantile. But he wore a diaper. So, you know, it's appropriate. Oh, the link isn't about that at all. Apparently he might not get reelected, and then WHO will I mock?

Awesome
* If you buy a truck, you get an AK-47, for free, in Missouri. We don't have this in New Jersey. I don't know why. There is absolutely NO WAY that this plan could EVER backfire. Haha, fire. Free FIRE.
Moving on. Um, he says this angers liberals. Well, I'm a liberal, and I'm more frightened then angry. It is a constitutional right to bear arms, and that's fine, and I support the Constitution. However, I have read the Constitution, and I'm pretty sure there's no part that says that the only requirement to own a SERIOUS piece of machinery is the ability to buy a car. Maybe that's in your copy. But yeah, this is not going to end well. The title of this category is sarcastic. In case you missed it.

I am running late, because I no longer get a full night's sleep. FRUSTRATION STATION. But I did work on my comic a little, and T-Shirts nothing at all today!

I will most likely post again later, because I feel like it.
- LV

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