Big Damn Heroes.

Blog
* This needs to be added to my list of T-Shirts I must make. Title is from Firefly.

Comics
* I don't usually follow Spider-Man's orders, but I do believe in the importance of voting:

That being said, I'd do pretty much anything The Beast said. You don't mess with him. He's a large blue dude. You don't piss off large blue dudes.

Girly!Want
* I need everything in the following picture, and you all need to buy it for me:

[Found at Haute Macabre]
Why do you need to buy it for me? Oh, there's an excellent reason.... but I can't tell you. It's a secret. Just trust me, and send money.

Food!Win
* This is the cutest cake since the Wall-E cake. Maybe even cuter:

[Found at Geekologie]
Yes, it is in fact cuter. But not too cute to eat. In fact, it's too cute NOT to eat. Look, I don't have to make sense, it's a goddamn Ewok cake and I need to nom it RIGHT NOW.

Words Of Win
* So I think Heroes is canceled (the information is confusing and contradictory, and Greg Grunberg keeps saying it isn't, and I suspect NBC doesn't really know, or they're worried Zachary Quinto will get into method acting and try to study their brains).

Which is too bad, because for a while it was a brilliant show with much awesome and sexy guys angsting all over the place. Which I enjoy. I hope they do a TV movie series finale, because the show deserves a good send-off. And maybe Christopher Eccleston will come back with his pigeons. A girl can dream. But I digress:

I think if Sylar and Peter had just hugged more, the show would have remained good. PS Claire annoys me.

Childhood!Fail
* It's not unplugged, is it?

[Found at Friggin Random]
Nope, it totally isn't unplugged. Who wants to field trip to the hospital?

Daily Hot Guy

[James Marsters, who is inarguable proof that an English accent makes even hot guys hotter. It's inexplicable, and unquestionable. Anyway, he's in a suit, and if you pretend he's speaking to you in a British accent, life is quite wonderful.]

Daily Icon

[Xena, who hung out with Bruce Campbell, which is even FURTHER proof she's a goddess.]

Iron Man 2
* Hopefully you've seen it by now, and SAM ROCKWELL was in it, which I knew and then forgot about, because I am a terrible person. I love Sam Rockwell. I want him to be the villain next time. That would delight me. Anyway, here's a clip:

I saw it twice in one weekend. Actually within 24 hours. Not on purpose. Honest. Tony Stark rules.

Whut?
* Continuing my theory that People Are Awful/Confusing/Frightening, I present Ginormous Mermaid Bosoms On A Tiny Little Girl:

[Found at World Of Wonder]
I'm not even going into 'Mermaid Assistant.'

Doctor Who
* The Doctor in LEGO form! Lookit! Nine! With a Banana! Random Capitalization!

[Found at Neatorama]
I miss Nine. I want a Three Doctors with Nine, Ten, and Eleven. Please? I've been a very good girl. In my mind.

True Blood
* True Blood is getting another werewolf this season. And, since it's True Blood, there will be enormous amounts of nudity:

[Found at World of Wonder]
Frankly, as long as Eric Northman shows up and is hot and evil and text messaging people, I don't give a shit what happens.

Supernatural
* Rather than post a review of last night's season finale of Supernatural (as I screamed on Twitter, TOO MANY EMOTIONS TO EXPRESS WITH MERE WORDS, BUT I THINK IT WAS GOOD, YES?), here's a GIF that makes life worth living:

[Swiped from Miss Bushido, who shows me such goodness]

Epic!Win
* This sums up my entire view of internet life:

[Found at Very Demotivational]

Books
* Sigh..... Here's a review of 1984 from Amazon:

At first I did like the book. Then it just started to suck right around the time when Winston was getting sexually involved with his girl friend. I hated the book so much that I forgot her name. The first hundred or so pages i liked, then it just got really boring. So II highly reccomend that you DO NOT READ THIS BOOK. And please for the love of God don't read that "Brave New World" book by Hoxley. It is twice as worse as 1984. To put it bluntly, DON'T READ ANY GEORGE ORWELL. Your just waisting your time.

You misspelled 'Huxley.' And you used the incorrect form of 'your.' And I hate you. I hate you so much. Frankly, I don't think George Orwell WANTS you to like his book. There's a review of A Tree Grows In Brooklyn, but it made me feel violent and shouty, so click the link to read it.

Stupidity should be painful. Wait, is that why I have a sinus headache? DON'T ANSWER THAT.
- LV

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David Attended Public Schools, So He Confuses Hitler With Anne Frank.

Blog
* Well, I can- yeah, that's just awful. Title is from Mr. Show With Bob & David.

Comics
* These comic covers freak me out. I do not like these. Why does Mickey look like he took some bad acid?

[Found at Boing Boing]
INTERNET, STOP MAKING MY CHILDHOOD MEMORIES THINGS OF HORROR.

Food!Win
* Holy deep fried beefy ricey goodness!

[Found at This Is Why You're Fat]
Meat on a stick! Well, to be accurate, they're rice cakes wrapped in hamburger patty and pan fried. ON STICKS. Serve these at your next party, and then don't share any with your friends. That'll show them. They know what they did.

Life Lessons
* 'Wow that rain sure is wet, isn't it?'

[Found at Indexed]

Words of Win

see more Epic Fails
Companies: Check your spelling before you go to press, OK?

Doctor Who
* Remember when I posted the Doctor Who credits done like Firefly, and our collective minds shattered under the force of the awesome?
They did them Angel-style too:


Torchwood
* Guys, this just happened, for real: I just found, right this second, Torchwood credits done Angel style:

Angel's theme song may be my favorite of any Joss Whedon show. And I know there's a lot of debate between fans as to the similarities and differences of these two television creators, but as far as I'm concerned, THEY KILL WHAT I LOVE, and that's as far as the debate goes for me.

Daily Hot Guy(s)

[Zachary Quinto, AKA Sylar from Heroes, and Zachary Levi, AKA Chuck from Chuck. I have no idea what's going on in this picture, but CAN YOU FEEL THE BROMANCE? A TALE OF TWO ZACHARYS? Maybe there will be a Chuck/Heroes crossover, and Adam Baldwin will beat the everloving shit out of Peter Petrelli (Yes, I admit he's very attractive, but I still want him to get beat up on the show). This picture was sent to me by Laroux74, who is simply awesome beyond words.]

Daily Icon

[Exene Cervenka, lead singer of X (alongside John Doe), one of my favorite bands of ALL TIME. She also sang with The Knitters, and is one of the punk icons. Sadly, she has been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, but in true Exene Cervenka style, she's not letting it get her down. X has ben supporting Sweet Charity for ages, and you should too.]



Epic!Fail
* It's worse when they have no idea who he is, besides, 'a revolutionary':

see more deMotivational Posters

People I Love
* I got a reward for blogging for a month straight!

SOAK IN THE GLORY, BITCHES. My friends are cooler than your friends. Unless you ARE my friend... then... never mind. Made by the truly epic Danielle, whose website you should visit as soon as you're done here.

I'm going to England this Friday, for a week, so I probably won't blog until I get back. JUST LETTING YOU ALL KNOW.

I may be slightly panic-stricken about flying. I hate flying. DAMMIT, SCIENCE, CAN WE GET TELEPORTERS BEFORE FRIDAY? PLEASE?

- LV

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I'm Not Gonna Die In A Hospital Where The Nurses Aren't Even Hot.

Blog
* That's the spirit, Dean! Title is from Supernatural.

Girly Shit
* As if it wasn't vaguely shameful enough to shop at Urban Outfitters (look, they have some seriously cute clothing, but there is a STIGMA to shopping there, and this isn't HELPING:

[Found at Jezebel]
The shirt color is Obama/Black? There is no joke I could make here more hideous than that fact.

Comics
* I've been reading The Boys since day 1, when I MET Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson at the release of the comic, and they were EVERYTHING I imagined and hoped they'd be, and a HAMSTER gets raped to death in this series, and that's one of the nicer things. SO GO READ THE DAMN COMIC.

Books
* So kids have to choose between reading about Robert 'Sparkly!Crotch' Pattinson (who, personal preferences aside, hasn't really DONE enough to warrant a biography, HAS HE?) or Barbara 'Crazy!Pants Gimme My Cocoa And Change My Diaper' Walters? (who, ignoring the fact that I just don't like her, should probably have retired when she started FONDLING guests on her show (THIS HAS HAPPENED AND I WILL YOUTUBE IT IF YOU DOUBT ME))?

Remember when you had to read biographies of people like George Washington?

Food!Win
* This is going to be my wedding cake. And my birthday cake. And every other cake in my life:

[Found at This Is Why You're Fat]

A bed of brown sugar and butter topped by a layer of 12 mini doughnuts baked inside of cake mix and topped with heavy whipping cream and brown sugar.

Daily Hot Guy

[Chris Pine. WITH NERD GLASSES]

Did you watch Human Target last night? Didn't the monk look like the President?
- LV

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I Haven't Cried Like That Since 'Titanic'!

Blog
* But you came pretty close to it when you ran out of Twinkies. Title is from Zombieland, which came out today and which I now own.

* In honor of Zombieland, which I love very much (in case you haven't been paying attention), today's blog is A) Much later than usual, and B) Zombie-Focused. OK, A is more because I overslept. But let's say it has something to do with Zombieland, shall we?

* I posted a shitload of Zombieland rules posters over on my Tumblr, along with some other fun stuff. And I'm not posting it all again, and you can't make me, so HA.

Life Lessons
* There will be a zombie apocalypse, one day, if you believe George Romero (and I do). You may scoff, but don't come crying to me when people are munching on your grey matter.

Even if you do prepare, we're still probably all screwed. The Oatmeal explains why the zombies always win. On the other hand, ZOMBIES IN A BALL PIT? Sign me up.

* Here are ALL the Zombieland Rules. Memorize them. Burn them into your brain (or your skin, a la Memento). THEY WILL SAVE YOUR ASS.

Wow
* Did you know that AFTER you die, you can stand trial? And real trial, not that Street Court shit:

In 897 CE, Pope Stephen VI accused former Pope Formosus of perjury and violation of church canon. The problem was that Pope Formosus had died nine months earlier. Stephen worked around this little detail by exhuming the dead pope’s body, dressing it in full papal regalia, and putting it on trial. He then proceeded to serve as chief prosecutor as he angrily cross-examined the corpse. T

I would have paid good money to see that. This will make it much easier to prosecute the zombies. Until, you know, they start chewing on the judge. Dead people can also get married, and be used as fuel. Death is not the end!

Epic!Fail
* NO:

Swaroup Anand, 23, from Bangalore, is fully conscious as he undergoes open-heart surgery.

NO. You cut me open, I am knocked the hell out. I want ALL the drugs, you hear me? I am not going to sit there WATCHING as you root around in my chest cavity. THAT IS NOT OK. What are the benefits to this, besides being able to tell the story afterwards? I know anesthesia is dangerous, but isn't open-heart surgery already dangerous? And wouldn't it be somewhat distracting for the surgeon as his patient SCREAMS through the entire procedure?

I don't know what this has to do with zombies, except that after this sort of thing I'd run towards the nearest living thing and kill it (identify the quote, get a prize!)

Click here for a picture, and INSTRUCTIONS (do not try this at home. Seriously. No one wants to hang out with the people who try this stuff at home).

Food!Win
* Reader (and blogger, and Deviant Artist) Chey posted this picture in the comments, but it's so amazing that I feel it deserves further attention. She labeled it, 'the wedding cake of Tallahassee and LV':

The reception is going to be OFF THE HOOK.

Comics
* PEOPLE: DO NOT SEX THE ZOMBIES:

[Found at NatalieDee]
SERIOUSLY. And is she putting her tongue in, or pulling it out? Or is that a piece of meat? ZOMBIE SEX IS BAD TOUCH.

Daily Hot Guy





[Woody Harrelson as Tallahassee, the Greatest Zombie Hunter Ever, from Zombieland. I bought the same hat for my Halloween costume. Tragically, a Tallahassee does not come with your purchase.]

Music

Note: Singing to a zombie does NOTHING.

Zombies
* if you want ANY hope of surviving the Zombie Apocalypse, this is the site to look into.

Art
* DANCESWITHELVIS MADED ME A ZOMBIE OMFGWTFBBQ:

BRAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIINNNNNSSSSS by ~DanceswithElvis on deviantART
Why yes, she is made entirely of win. I already knew that.

You know, I didn't get paid to advertise this movie. NOT ONE DAMN PENNY. But you know what this movie paid me in? KNOWLEDGE, PEOPLE.

- LV

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That Was So Easy. I'm Embarrassed For You.

Blog
* There is NO SHAME in being disarmed by Dean Winchester. And.... cue the dirty jokes. Title is from Supernatural.

Girly Want
* I keep wavering on this one. On one hand, it is dumb and uncomfortable and probably hard to move in. On the other hand, I COULD EAT MY CLOTHES:
[Found at Best Week Ever]
See, this is the way to win Dean Winchester's heart. Wear a CHOCOLATE DRESS. And, if that doesn't work, you can eat your OWN CLOTHES. Couture SNACKS. But it's so dumb. But I don't care.


Comics
* Once again, the Comics Curmudgeon finds humor in the vast, unfunny wasteland of Funk Winkerbean. And hideous thigh shapes.

Books
* She Silverstein was a bad-ass motherfucker who wrote some of the funniest, most twisted shit out there, and I love him, and The Giving Tree makes everyone cry. It's a good way to test for Terminators: 'Did you get a little teary The Giving Tree?' 'No?' 'HE'S A ROBOT.' Read here about how Shel Silverstein managed to write for Playboy AND Lafcadio.

Food!Win
* SWEET JESUS' LAYERED CAKE OF RAINBOW DELIGHT:

[Found at This Is Why You're Fat]
THAT THERE IS TEN LAYERS OF SUGARY HEAVEN.

Want
* Now, this is some CLASSY video game action here:

[Found at Nerd Approved]
Pac Man holds your books and eats your TV, and if your guests aren't into video games, you tell them it's post-modern meta-art, and they'll be all impressed! WIN WIN.

Daily Hot Guy

[Jeffrey Dean Morgan, AKA Father Winchester from Supernatural, AKA The Comedian from Watchmen. I've never seen him in a suit before. It's sort of life-changing.]

Daily Icon
* Inspired by my friend and icon in her own right, Millarca, here's a new category, where we honor the women who we want to be when, and if, we ever grow up
[Sophia Loren, who combines classy with sexy with utter fierceness, AND I want those gloves. And that hat.]

[Liza Minnelli, who did this AND Arrested Development, and rocked them both without breaking a sweat.]

[Joan Didion, one of my favorite authors, and a tough old bitch if there ever was one.]

[Katharine Hepburn doesn't have time for your bullshit]

[Dolly Parton, for whom I sat through an episode of Hannah Montana, AND SHE SANG AND IT WAS WORTH IT, GUYS]

And, some Icons In The Making:
[Dita Von Teese]


[Lady Gaga]
Many more will be in this category. If you have suggestions, Email me. But Millarca gets first pick. AND YOU WILL BE GRATEFUL FOR THAT.

OK, stuff to do.
- LV

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You're Always Saying Pansy Stuff Like That.

Blog
* You do have a habit of saying the 'pansy stuff,' Sam. Truth hurts. Title is from Supernatural.

Girly Shit
* This was not the first thing I needed to see Monday morning:

[Found at Shoe Lust]
I... it's too early. Do I want this shoe? Do I hate this shoe? Are parts of this shoe edible? It's too damn early.

Music
* I have had this song stuck in my head for two days now, and I don't even LIKE Beyonce:

It's starting to drive me insane. Or, more insane.

Movie!Fail
* They're making a Scream 4. I need to know why. Scream 3 sucked so bad it physically hurt. Scream 2 was a fun, stupid sequel, and Scream made me terrified of plate glass windows and phones. Scream 4 will no doubt destroy society, cause California to sink into the ocean, and mark the End Times.

And don't even get me started on An American Werewolf in London redux, because I WILL BREAK THE INTERNET WITH MY ANGER. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS? DO NOT REMAKE THIS MOVIE.

Comics
* Dear Marvel Smartass:
You rock.
Love, FEAR AND LOATHING

Books
* How awesome is this? It's a letter from Kurt Vonnegut, after he was a POW in Germany. I love and miss Kurt Vonnegut. He was a genius. I want to reread Breakfast of Champions.

Food!Win
* DUDE, THIS IS BIGGER THAN MY HEAD:

[Found at This Is Why You're Fat]

Donkey: You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits. Have you ever met a person, you say, "Let's get some parfait," they say, "Hell no, I don't like no parfait"? Parfaits are delicious.
Shrek: No! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Ogres are like onions! End of story. Bye-bye. See ya later.

Specifically, is is a cheesecake parfait, but there aren't any funny quotes about that.

Daily Hot Guy

[Chris Barrie, AKA Rimmer from Red Dwarf, very muddy and on the left, shown here in Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, which is either very funny, or very sad, but I will always love him for yelling, 'SMEGHEAD' and kicking Death in the nuts. How could I not?]

Moment Of Win

see more Epic Fails

Words Of Win

[Found at Unique Daily]

Torchwood
* I need this action figure, and I will take NO MOCKERY for this fact:

[Found at Discount Anime Toys]
IT'S IANTO JONES, BITCHES.

People I Love
* NEIL PATRICK HARRIS ON SESAME STREET:

NEIL PATRICK HARRIS ON SESAME STREET. *cue epic arm!flail of JOY*

Seriously, my face HURTS from grinning.

OK, it's a rainy Monday, and frankly it should be spent sleeping and watching bad movies. But some of us have work. LIFE IS HARD.
- LV

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Monsters Do Not Behave Themselves. That's The Whole Idea!

Blog
* Monsters have ALL the fun. But no quiche. Title is from Bone.

Help For Haiti
Friends who are doing great things by using their stores to help those in Haiti.

* GrrrlShapedYarns is donating all the proceeds from her shop this month to Doctors Without Borders to help out in Haiti. So you get gorgeous yarn, which I want to own ALL of, AND to donate to a good cause. Win win!

* Little Red Bicycle is also donating all proceeds to Doctors Without Borders and the Red Cross to help Haiti. AND you can get patterns. AND they had Bela Lugosi yarn. But it's gone now. No fault of mine.

* YBerry is donating 25% of her proceeds to Doctor Without Borders, and has free shipping, AND you can buy the glorious silk yarn and make pretty things.

WTF, INTERNET?
* So, men and women are very different, biologically (and emotionally, but that's another entry). We appreciate this, and celebrate our differences. But, as a woman, maybe there are a few things I just never really understood/thought about:

[Found at World of Wonder]
This is a deoderant line for men's testicles. Um, is this... is this a big problem for guys? Does this happen often? I must confess, I never thought about this as an issue for men. AND NOW I AM. I AM SITTING HERE, DRINKING COFFEE AND THINKING ABOUT THESE THINGS. It is too early for such musings, and to be honest, men's bits are not my problem.

And because I am SURE someone will say it, yes, I agree that using deoderizing soaps on your unmentionables could lead to some awkward encounters.

I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY, INTERNET. I HOPE YOU'RE PLEASED WITH YOURSELF. GOD DAMN, WHERE'S MY COFFEE?

Girly Want
* I can't imagine a time when I would NOT wear these shoes:

[Found at ShoeLust]
They are lacy and black and sexy, and look at those heels! Work, dates, doctor's appointments - EVERY event in life calls for shoes like these. They make me happy.

Music
* Batgirl as Prince in Purple Rain?

[Found at World Famous Design Junkies]
Sure. Why not? Here are other albums recast with comic characters.

Movie!Fail
* Look, unless Matthew 'Alrightalrightalright' McConaughey is in Dazed & Confused, he is not allowed to act. That is law. Here. Right now. And I absolutely had a crush on Tommy Lee Jones in Lonesome Dove (SHUT UP, so did you, he was a cowboy and he was angsty and had secrets, so shut up, NAYSAYERS), so I do not want him to damage his career by mixing with subpar actors. I mean, did you SEE Man of the House? I did not, which is why I am not in some sort of institution as we speak.

Daily Hot Guy(s)

[Jackie Earle Haley, Patrick Wilson, AND Jeffrey Dean Morgan. WHAT were you saying about Watchmen having no redeeming qualities? Yeah, that's what I thought. MY FANDOM HAS THE HOT ACTORS. AND Jeffrey Dean Morgan spawned the Supernatural boys, which means... GASP! Laurie has two half-brothers who fight demons! So they go and destroy Dr. Manhattan, and Dean and Rorschach fight over pie, and Sam and Daniel cry in the basement- Yeah, I need more coffee, don't I?]

Comics
* Did you hear Robert 'SparklyPants' Pattinson is going to be in the reboot of Spider-Man? (And I don't think reboot is the right term, but screw it, who am I to argue with the INTERNET?) Well, that just about wraps it up for Spidey, in my book (although think about it - how funny would Spider-Man 3 have been if R Patz had been infected by the evil Venom alien stuff? A MISSED COMEDY MOMENT).

Anyway, I don't know if that rumor's true our not. I've heard it is, and I've heard it isn't. And I sort of don't care anymore. It's a good rumor, right? If it's true, we will be witness to the utter destruction of a movie franchise (this has less to do with R Patz being a bad actor - he hasn't really had a chance to prove either way (I will give him a pass on Sparkly!Pants movies, because NOBODY gets out of those untarnished, save for Peter Facinelli, who is idiotically attractive) and more to do with his being miscast beyond human comprehension). If it isn't true, maybe Spider-Man 4 will be good, right? WHO KNOWS? NOTHING MAKES SENSE IN THE CRAZY FUTURE YEAR OF 2010.

Moment Of Win
* Ha! Liars:

see more Epic Fails

Books
* I tend to abuse capslocks, and internet-shout often. But some things upset me and anger me and destroy my faith in humanity so completely, that even capslocks cannot express my disgust with everyone. Behold:

[Found at Topless Robot]
This is a book. Specifically, it is Dante's Inferno, one of my favorite books, and a beautiful piece of literature. It has been made into a video game (which, if it follows the text closely, would be the weirdest/most brain-crunchingly weird experience ever, but I doubt that). The video game's cover is now on the book.
So they took one of the most significant pieces of literature ever (in my opinion), and made it look like 300 2: Everyone Is Going Into The Pit Of Death This Time.

Well, that just about wraps it up for humanity.

I'm going to go soak my head.
- LV

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