No, GIR, These Pigs Are For Science! SCIENCE!

Blog
I MISS my Invader Zim DVDs, dammit. Also I'd like a tiny piggy. Title is from Invader Zim, in case you missed that.

Watchmen
* Have I posted this Watchmen comic summary?

[Found at the International Society of Supervillains]
It's very disturbing.

Comics
* I love Joe Hill, and I love comics, so when he writes comics there is no negativity to be found. Plus the Lovecraftian angle is massively entertaining:

[Found at Joe Hill Fiction]
Of course, my local comic book store does not CARRY these comics, and the one that does is far away and if I go in while wearing a skirt there's a serious chance of one of the clerks stroking, because females don't read books with PICTURES, HAHA. God, I hate this town sometimes.

Words Of Win

...with the news that Mexico’s navy uncovered more than one ton of cocaine hidden inside frozen shark carcasses, humans have now done every possible thing there is to do in the world.

Welp, we had a good run, did we not? I for one enjoyed the clothes, and some of the people, and energy drinks. WHO looks at sharks, and thinks cocaine? Similarly, what sick bastard dreams of stuffing dead sharks with cocaine? WHAT IS GOING ON?! It must be Thursday. I could never get the hang of Thursdays.

Inglourious Basterds
* I take a lot of shit from my beloved and well-meaning friends over my Quentin Tarantino love. It's easy to ignore, because true love is BEYOND their petty jealousy, and I've been hearing the same shit since I was twelve, so I'm immune. But when one of my friends sent me a link with the words, 'What the HELL is your fiancee wearing?" I felt cold, clammy fear:

[Found at Go Fug Yourself]
Oh, honey, NO. WHY? It HURTS me so. Clearly, you are just trying to steer my attention away from Jackie Earle Haley and your friend Tim Roth, who does not GO OUT IN PUBLIC DRESSED WITH FROGS ON HIM.
I have decided to endorse the following explanation:

Or is it possible that he overslept and ran to the Spike Awards having forgotten to change out of his pajama top? Because the truth of the matter is, I love the idea of QT wandering around his house in these jammies that look like this. It just sounds so RIGHT.

It does sound right. It sounds wonderful. Oh, QT, our love defies such petty things as distance, or reality, or hideous fashion choices, or my friends' accurate statement that 'He looks like an expensive sausage' or ANY of it. Because I've had a crush on you since I was twelve, and some things are DOOMED.
But then again, my mother loves frogs, so perhaps this is all a clever plan to win over my mom, who finds my love for you 'weird and gross'? BRILLIANT, SIR. MAKE ANOTHER FROM DUSK TILL DAWN, PLEASE.

Daily Hot Guy

[Zack Snyder, AKA Hottest Director Around. I was considering leaving Quentin Tarantino as today's DHG, but even I, who admit I have a CRUSH, don't think that picture is the best example of his win. So here's a very hot director, and if anyone could find me a picture of Snyder and Tarantino together, I will be your best friend. In theory.]

Life Lessons
* This blog does not have a good history with Venn Diagrams, but I like this one, so let's try it again, SHALL WE?

[Found at Neatorama]
For what it's worth, I'm against any pet that seems interested in chewing on your childs' head. I am FIRM on that matter.

Sherlock Holmes
* Gareth David-Lloyd is Watson in a Sherlock Holmes adaptation. His mustache is tiny and makes me sad, but his suit makes me happy, and as someone who has read everything Sir Arthur Conan Doyle wrote, multiple times, and ALSO loves Gareth David-Lloyd, you will find NO SNARK from me here. Even if there is a freaking T-Rex, which is NOT what Sir Arthur Conan Doyle had in mind, and WHO WROTE THIS? I NEED TO SPEAK TO THE AUTHOR.

Celebrity!Fail
* Is today director's day on my blog? It must be. And no, Quentin could never go in this category. THE MAN WROTE TRUE ROMANCE. KNEEL BEFORE HIM.
Anyway, what the fuck is Spike Lee wearing on his head?

[Found at Best Week Ever]
Keep him away from Quentin. The man has enough issues without putting THIS on his massive, massive head.

Whut?
* Yeah, this category is for shit I do not understand. I don't know:

[Found at World Of Wonder]
Really, I have no fucking clue. It's a barbell with LEGS.

Oh, and this is both a tribute to the brilliant and lovely Miss Banshee, who made this, and a gift to my friend who is having a long day:


Time to go kick Thursday in the nuts. Better wear cute shoes...
- LV

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That Girl Dropped A Bomb In Your Subconscious With Her Saliva.

Blog
* That is a horrible, horrible visual. Title is from Pushing Daisies.

Sherlock Holmes
* Why have I not seen this poster before now?

What else are you keeping from me? Did I already mention that I desire sunglasses like his? because I do. They are hot. Incidentally, I hope these posters, and the movie in general, bring back typewriters. Because I love them. And typewriters plus Robert Downey, Jr. equals sum sort of glorious alternate universe of eternal joy. I'm sorry, it's Monday. I'll be awake soon.

Jackie Earle Haley
* If you check out his official website, you've already seen this amazering retrospective of Mr. Haley's career so far, but you should watch it again, because it is THAT good:

If you haven't seen it, watch it a few times, and take in the brilliance. Made by Eringoblah, who is even more wondrous and ass-kicking than you would have guessed from that video. I know. I'm scared too.

* You can hear Erin, as well as other hardcore Haley fans, on the podcast World Peace Through Jackie Earle Haley. This podcast drops other podcasts down an elevator shaft - metaphorically. Literally that would be kind of hard.

Iron Man
* It's funny because it's true:

[Found at ISS]

Animals
* This video is probably the worst thing I've found in days, because I simply cannot stop watching it:

It is a squirrel eating a lemon, and I am COMPELLED in a way I cannot truly comprehend. Why is this so fascinating? And why, at the end, does the squirrel LUNGE for the tender jugular of the videotaper? These questions haunt me in the wee hours of the morning.

Daily Hot Guy

[Alan 'Alpha Wash' Tudyk, who I am going to refer to as Alpha Wash forever now, because I'm funny, even though this picture was taken BEFORE he was Alpha OR Wash, but he's still very cute in those glasses, isn't he?]

Apocalypse How?
* So the Swine Flu resembles the 1918 flu that caused the pandemic, hurrah! Only the Swine Flu is even worse, and it loves your lungs like I love pie, and I am a girl who LOVES pie. So your lungs will collapse from an old disease we never figured out how to cure, and now I want pie, dammit.

Girly Shit
* These shoes are absolutely ridiculous:

[Found at ShoeLust]
I do not want. At all. The heel looks like it's not done. I feel like a snake went to a chiropractor's office, and this came out. Which would be a funny sitcom (Relaxin Reptiles!) but does not make me think of ANYTHING I want to put on my feet.

Music
* Lady Gaga's hat is like the solar system:

[Found at WorldOfWonder]
Mysterious and swirly and probably not the best idea anyone's ever had, but we still love it, because the alternative is terrifying.

Technology
* KILL IT KILL IT CRUSH IT OH GOD IT'S EYES.

[Found at WorldOfWonder]
Oh, wait, it's a new product that connects to your Facebook and it reads your messages and infiltrates your friends' list and can learn a bunch of voice commands.... KILL IT KILL IT OH GOD GET THE CHILDREN AWAY FROM IT.

Watchmen
* For those of you weirdos out there who still haven't seen the Director's Cut of Watchmen, here's the scene that shattered most people's psyches, besides the end of course. I loved it. I thought it was beautiful and violent and sad and a loving tribute to an aging hero. And it was TASTEFUL, a word I never expected to use in relation to a Zack Snyder movie.

* For those of you who have seen the movie, kudos, and I present you this:

Made my Miss_Bushido, who does this to people that litter ALL THE TIME.

Tattoo Of Win

[Found at LOLTatz]

Food
* I want to be eating these right now:

[Found at ThisIsWhyYoureFat]
These are corn cheddar bacon pancakes. There is NOTHING bad in there. These are concoctions of pure good. Eat enough and your arteries explode and you die an excruciating death, but that's YOUR fault, not the fault of these delicious delicacies.

Words of Win

[Found at PassiveAggressiveNotes]

Books
* A collection of short stories you can read, online, Fifty-Two stories is consistently awesome. You get a different short story every week of the year, from the likes of Ray Bradbury and Mary Gaitskall. I read it, and am amazed by the beauty and simplicity of these stories. Then I realize I will never write anything remotely like this, and have to go be alone for a while with some vodka and tissues.

I dyed my hair red. I will post pictures, once it's been brushed and no longer looks like a hair bomb on the my little head.

Also, I'm seeing Dweezil Zappa on Friday. No one told me this until today. Surprise win? Or Fail? I CANNOT TELL.
- LV

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There Is No Justice There Is Just Us

Blog
* Depending on how you look at it, that's really comforting or deeply, DEEPLY disturbing. Title is from Reaper Man by Terry Pratchett.

Movie!Win
* I was going to file the remake of Dorian Gray under Movie!Fail, because Oscar Wilde remakes have to legally include Rupert Everett before his face melted, and just on basic principle. Then I saw that Prince 'I Am So Sexy' Caspian from The Chronicles of Narnia was playing Dorian, and I stopped caring about things like plot or acting. Also it has Colin Firth. Mainly, though, sexy British dudes being scandalous and inappropriate. I am THERE:


Vampire
* This article, written by the wonderfully talented Dan Faust (who, when he takes over the world, has promised me an army of fedora-wearing monkeys) PROVES that modern vampires suck. They are supposed to be SCARY, not Angsty Teenage Pretties of Angsty Gloomy Angst. Even Angel occasionally went batshit and killed everyone, for fun.

Russell Brand
* Here is a video of Russell Brand talking about birds. They could live in his hair nest of sexy. Incidentally, Rorschach is alive and well and living in Alan Moore's beard. TRUE.

Sherlock Holmes
* So the new Sherlock Holmes movie will not be steampunk. Which is disappointing, as I love steampunk. But, as I just told my friend, 'So long as he boxes shirtless and is a rapscallion, I don't really care WHAT the movie is about. Like I said, I am SHALLOW.

Jackie Earle Haley
* It is hard for me to talk about the new Nightmare On Elm Street movie without being reduced to fangirl squees. This isn't helping:

[Found at Collider]
It's like porn for sick people. He's even got the Christmas sweater. AND A FEDORA. I'm fine. I'm fine. I also heard that Mr. Haley is all sorts of genius in the trailer for the movie. As if he could be otherwise. So yes. There is much excitement. Wow, I'm proud. I got through that fairly calmly. Success in our time!

Whedonverse
* So, this weekend, I was the last person on Earth to discover Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. I know, I am a mass of failure. I apologize for letting you all down so very much. BUT I LOVED IT. And Neil Patrick Harris is going to join the pantheon of Daily Hot Guys. And I think if Jackie Earle Haley had shown up as a villain, I'd be dead now from the happy. AND JOSS WHEDON SAYS THERE WILL BE A COMIC. Although the singing won't work as well. Unless it comes with a soundtrack. Or an audio book. All of which I'd buy.
There will also be a Shepherd Book comic, which I'm less excited about. I LIKED the mystery about him on Firefly. I LIKE that we never learned his past, because he was MYSTERIOUS. So I'm worried that whatever his back story is, it won't be as good as what's going on in my head. Also, Book is one of the characters that Proves My Theory. Just saying.

Daily Hot Guy

[Christopher Eccleston, who proved my theory that If I Love A Character, They Will Die Horribly, not once but TWICE: In Cracker and in Doctor Who (regeneration counts as dying if I CRY) Oh, OH and he ran away like an invisible weasel in Heroes, but that may have been due to Peter Petrelli's AWFUL hair]

Iron Man
* Click here for some pictures from Iron Man 2. Robert Downey Jr.'s facial hair is pornographic. And the ANGST. The angsty angst. But where is Sam Rockwell? Will he slither in and be all skeevy and delightful? Like Charlie's Angels, where he was my favorite part (except for Crispin 'I am frightening AND arousing' Glover, or Matchstick Men, which was the best movie you haven't seen (besides of course Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, which featured - aha! - Robert Downey, Jr. SEE HOW CONNECTED EVERYTHING IS?) but at least Don Cheadle is there and looks good in a suit.

Animals
* I don't know what is worse: That this thing freaking exists and can be bought, for money. (It is RIDICULOUS AND STUPID. No hamster needs this. No ANIMAL needs this):

[Found at LikeCool]
Or that I really want to buy one in blue, and a hamster, and name it Ianto, and pamper it and smother it with love, until it inevitably dies, as hamsters are wont to do, and I will hold its little body and scream, 'NOOOOOOO!' up at the heavens, and my friends and family will back away slowly, and my therapy bills will be just ASTRONOMICAL. Who wants to go to the pet store?

Apocalypse How?
* Happy Monday, we're all going to die!
So this dude he had the hiccups, right? They're totally annoying. And he's 25 and a musician, so they're SUPER annoying. But instead of going away, they continued on and on. For two years. Constantly. And he had no idea why, but it probably ruined his social life, because after a while you don't want to be NEAR someone with hiccups. He tried everything, but they wouldn't go away. Then he finally said, 'Screw it, I'm off to the doctor to deal with these sodding hiccups,' So he went, and it turned out that it was good news bad news: Good news, we think we know why you have permanent hiccups. Bad news, it's a brain tumor. So hiccups, sleep, and soda can kill you, and we're all doomed forever, the end.

TwiHate
* This was sent to be my reader and personal guru GeohMetro. Ge Oh's a genius and has an ass-kicking blog, so it would be terribly rude of me not to post this. I take no pleasure in doing it:

BAHAHA- I mean, terrible. A poo joke? How inappropriate. And tasteless. Like everything Stephenie Meyers writes ZING.

OK, stuff now.
- LV

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Bruce Campbell Doesn't Cheat Death. He Wins Fair & Square.

Blog
* Title is in honor of Burn Notice last night. Bruce Campbell fixed the window, AND blew the house up. Not the same house, clearly. Bruce Campbell does not believe in wasted gestures. SPEAKING OF BRUCE CAMPBELL, did you hear he's going to save the President from zombies, in Comic form? Also, for those of you who follow me on Twitter, you've heard me joke about Bruce Campbell for President (of course I'm not JOKING, but he's playing it cool because he doesn't want to hurt Obama's feelings. Bruce Campbell is a benevolent god) this made me scream over breakfast this morning:

[Found at ComicBookResources]
Hail to the Chief, Baby.

Freakangels Friday
* I am casting a FREAKANGELS movie, in my head, because hopefully that will never actually happen. So far it isn't going well, because I tend to like older actors, and as numerous as his powers are, there is just no way Bruce Campbell could play a 23-year-old without exposing his powers, and we as a culture are not ready for that. I do rather want Russell Brand to play Luke. I'd love a young Jackie Earle Haley as Karl. And realistically, they should cast Milo 'He's In Heroes, and No I'm Not Looking Up How To Spell His Last name' as Connor. And I want Zachary Quinto to play Jack. The girls, I am less interested in casting. As long as Lindsay Lohan stays away from my mind-movie. And Scarlet 'I Used To Like Her And Now Find Her Pretentious.' Anyway, new FREAKANGELS today! Spoilers below my signature at the end of this post, because I haven't read it yet. FOR YOU.

Depression Session
* Who wants a recession hairstyle? Doesn't that make you think of haircuts from the fifties? All those severe bobs, and girls going to be 'career women' until they could land a husband in a series of hilarious screwball incidents? But that's wrong. Instead, we all should grow our hair out like peasant women, because bangs and angular cuts and hair dye and fun things are expensive, and we must all make sacrifices? Incidentally, I am trying to grow my hair out, not because of the Depression Recession, but because I felt like it. Way to be 'cutting edge,' HAHAHA. Also, am I the only one who finds it darkly humorous that every picture they showed to demonstrate 'inexpensive haircuts' was on the head of a celebrity, and inarguably costs several hundred dollars in upkeep a month, at least?

Girly Shit
* Remember that episode of Sex and the City where Carrie goes on a non-date with Mr. Big, and he leans in to give her a friendly kiss, and she responds by throwing them both into the river to get out of an awkward but survivable bit of social interaction? God, I fucking HATE that show. Anyway, Carrie walked home wearing his button-down shirt, a pair of stilettos, and a belt. This reminds me of that:

[Found at IHeartLuxe]
And as such, I simply cannot endorse any outfit that screams, "I am a serious writer who cannot put together one well-written sentence and did not consider the possibility of perhaps borrowing a pair of sweat-pants to complete this ensemble, because I am twee and cute and edgy!'

Daily Hot Guy

[Alan Tudyk, who is sexy enough and adorable enough to make me watch Serenity again, knowing the ending destroys me as a human being]

Music
* Here is information on a bunch of TV show theme songs. This article teaches me only that every time you hear the Addams Family theme song, Vic Mizzy is becoming even richer, while you are not.

Technology
* This is a stereo AND a portable cooler:

[Found at IncredibleThings]
This is sort of brilliant, except A) I hate when people play music at the beach, because it is never anything I like and they always abuse the bass so that it feels like the sand is pulsing, which is weird, and B) My visual image of the buyer of this fine product is consistently that of a meathead jock who will use the devastating pick-up line, 'Brewski for You-ski?' and then throw up all over your shoes.

Watchmen
* This is a very cool picture, and I like that Rorschach is wee and unharmed, and Dr. Manhattan looks sickly and weakened by his habit of EXPLODING PEOPLE WHO ARE MORAL:

[Found at i09]
And you KNOW Rorschach is perched happily on Manhattan's shoulder, writing in his notebook and whispering his insane conspiracies into Manhattan's ear and torturing him psychologically by retelling the Roche story every night before bedtime, and since Manhattan doesn't sleep and Rorschach is insane, Manhattan has to hear that story several times a day, in all its gruesome glory. Also Rorschach doesn't much bathe, and that's GOTTA irk Manhattan. And Nite Owl looks faintly embarrassed to find himself perched on Manhattan, and I think Ozymandias is attempting suicide to get away from Rorschach's stench. Buy me this picture, now.

Tattoo Of Win

[Found at LOLTATZ]

Food
* These are bacon-stuffed waffles:

[Found at ThisIsWhyYoureFat]
I can think of nothing bad to say about this, except a deep and almost overpowering regret that I am not currently supping upon these perfect creations.

Comics
* Here are some words of wisdom from Warren Ellis about comics and life, who I sacrificed a sexy goat to LAST WEEK and he still hasn't shown up to smite my enemies and give me knowledge. His Twitter account is reason enough for the site to exist. And I want a shirt that says, "Warren Ellis Put His Disease In Me." I would wear it to all job interviews, forever.

Words Of Win

see more Fail Blog

YouTube Wonders
* I couldn't give less of a shit about Justin Timberlake if I tried, but Ryan Gosling is fabulous and adorable, and I want him to be in more movies, and he was on Are You Afraid Of The Dark? and then turned out to be a pretty fantastic actor, and here he is on the Mickey Mouse Club with J. Timberlake, in simpler times, and I'm NOT having a good week, so this may have pulled me away from my experiments involving obscene amounts of alcohol and a funnel:


Sherlock Holmes
* Here is the poster for the new movie:

[Found at EmpireOnline]
I think I'm pregnant now. With the brain-child of Sherlock Holmes. Who would WANT to escape him? There is also a Watson poster, but I do not give a shit, I am too busy staring at the glory that is RDJ as Sherlock Holmes. I need to stop typing, before I dissolve into incoherency that would only be expressed as "HOLY SHIT HOT HOT GUH WANT MOVIE EYES HAIR POCKETS SMILE NO STUBBLE SEX ESCAPE WANT SMIRK PRON ASSAULT LUST DAMN DAMN DAMN" and I really don't want to have to translate that out of fangirl squee.

This was a very late entry. I'm sorry for ruining everything. Might post later, after a few hours studying Robert Downey, Jr. For literary value, of course.
- LV

Spoilers For FREAKANGELS Below:
* No Karl, which means KARL LIVES FOR ANOTHER WEEK. I do like that Alice's response to a psychic trying to kill her is more violence. Girl has no fear. Luke has a big penis. I'm sorry, it needed to be said. Do you know how rarely I've seen male genitalia in comics? It's always breasts, breasts, breasts, but they usually sneakily obscure the guys' dangly bits. Even Dr. Manhattan, he of the Blue Peen of Distraction, was strategically covered a lot of the time. Or we stared at his muscular buttocks.
It's interesting that only a few of the Freakangels know that Karl killed Mark, or felt his brain die, or whatever. And once again I am awed by Luke's absolute douchery, and find it almost charming, because it takes a lot of confidence and rampant egotism - nay, sociopathic tendencies - to be that indignant over getting caught RAPING someone, and having people react badly to it. So I sort of almost enjoy Luke's evil, which I suspect means that he will kill Karl and I will be bereft, because that is how things work. I love this comic.

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The Only Thing That Alan Moore Didn't Create Is God. Whether Or Not God Created Moore Is Still Debatable.

Technology
* I can't decide if this makes me very happy or very sad:

[Found at BoingBoing]
I mean, they're VHS! We've spot on them and rejected them and negated their very existence. They used to be the source of movies and TV and entertainment. And now we're using them as furniture? On the other hand, it's a pretty cool table.

Star Trek
* Here's an article on the fashion of Star Trek. Which, if they change AT ALL, I will cry and scream and start a political group to protest the change, because I think they're sexy, OK?

Dollhouse
* And here we have another article on the resurrection of Dollhouse. I kind of wish it would have moved to a less awful day. Plus, a fond farewell to Sarah Connor, and its endless Monologuing.

TeeVee
* Or maybe the monologuing will continue, in DVD form? Sarah Connor emerging from the ashes would be terribly appropriate. And maybe it will continue to exist on DVDs, and that's how I end up watching most TV shows anyway, so I'd be lying if I said I'd notice right away.

Health
* Coffee and booze make everything better. Scientists proved it. Fuck everyone, I won. I'm right! I'ma celebrate by smoking a pack of cigarettes, drinking a bottle of Sobieski, and chasing it with a gallon of Columbian coffee. Then I'ma going to work.

Alcohol
* Speaking of how alcohol makes you live forever, here's a nifty tool that ensures you enjoy the medical aspects of booze without the embarrassing 'I don't know where my underwear are officer, but I'd sure appreciate you getting me down from this lamppost' aspect:

[Found at LikeCool]
Of course, this doesn't take into account anything besides wine, or the fact that I'm such a lightweight that looking at a bottle of good booze can cause me to black out. Good idea, though.

Geek Want
* Dude, consider my mind blown:

[Found at LikeCool]
It's a CLOCK made of CLOCKS. It's clocks SQUARED. It is the alpha and omega of clock-ness. Salvador Dali would SHIT himself.

Sherlock Holmes
* The first trailer may have caused several extreme physical and emotional reactions:

I can't really talk about it without DID YOU SEE HIS SUNGLASSES AND HIS PIPE AND HIS HAT OF SEX? AND HE WAS SHIRTLESS AND SWEATY AND HANDCUFFED TO THE BED SWEET JESUS' DONUTS MAKE THE MOVIE BE IN THEATERS NOW.
I'm mildly interested in seeing this film.

FAIL
* Guys I forgot to put on my survey:
- Alan Tudyk
- Robert Downey, Jr.

Twitter
* This toilet Twitters whenever you flush:

[Found at Geekologie]
I think we can all agree that we're done discussing toilets on this blog forever, now.

Daily Hot Guy
* If you have any suggestions/requests for this section, PLEASE message/Tweet/Email me. I promise to include guys beyond my own crazy attractions (I know, for example, that most people don't GET my Tarantino attraction. Fools.) but only if you TELL ME. OK. Hot guy, now:

[Christopher Eccleston, bringing the sexy from the North]

WTF, INTERNET?
* This couch is all cool and edgy and a great conversation starter until A) you try to watch TV on it and keep getting vertigo:

[Found at UniqueDaily]
or B) you get stoned off your ass, try to ski down your couch, and end up in your neighbors' living room. AWKWARD.
- LV

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Most People Have 23 Pairs Of Chromosomes. Alan Moore Has 72. & They're All Poisonous.

Life
I take one day off, and now there's lots of stuff to talk about, and I have virtually no time for this because life is busy as hell. Incidentally, sitting in my room debating which books I don't love enough to keep is very sad.

Comics
* New Comic Day! Always a good day, I say. That rhymed. Sorry. Ahem. On my list of 'Must Haves' are the newest edition of The Boys (because I've met Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson, ergo I must support them and their GENIUS) and Invincible Iron Man #13. Here's the complete list, which is disappointingly small to be honest. And WHEN THE HELL is the next issue of LOEG coming out?

* Here's a preview for the newest edition of The Boys (can you believe they're up to number 30?).

Star Trek
* Here is a list of Star Trek lists. Nobody will go see this with me. Isn't that sad? Nobody I know likes Star Trek. But even if you hate Star Trek, and indeed all things science fiction-related, wouldn't you want to go just to see Zachary Quinto's eyebrows? Even my usually reliable friends would rather see... well... anything else. The solution is obviously to blackmail people with incriminating photos of questionable validity.

What?
* So Michael Vicks is going to be a spokesperson for PETA. This doesn't make me angry or upset or amused. I am just confused. Like, didn't he make dogs fight to the death? Hasn't he been universally labelled 'sociopathic fuckwit'? And aren't PETA supposed to support Nudity For The Preservation of Animals? I'd really prefer if Michael Vicks kept his clothes on, for the animals.

Swine Flu
* My cousin sent me this. He said it would make me happy when the swine flu kills all humans, and pigs reclaim the planet. He's right. And now I feel guilty when I eat bacon in the morning. Damn you, sir. Damn you.

Kingsford Goes to the Beach - Click here for more blooper videos

Want
* I desire these fuzzy pink speakers.

[Found at BoingBoing]
Partly because they are fuzzy and pink, and my love of all things zombie and comic does not diminish my girly love of fuzzy pinkness. Partly because I would find it extremely funny to blast, I don't know, Tool or Fugazi from them. It would be IRONIC, you see.

Daww
* Here is an article about a greyhound that is raising a baby deer, because animals are cute. I have no other reason for showing this.

[Found at Neatorama]

Technology
* Yeah, times are tough, blah blah blah, we're all tightening our belts, giving up some of the luxuries that make life tolerable, listening to the words of George Carlin and letting his anger sustain us in these trying times. And just to rub your nose in your financial woes and make you utterly loathe everyone who isn't you, and probably cause a class riot, someone made an amp that costs $189,600. This is True. Look, unless this amp shoots non-addictive heroin into your veins, or transforms into your ideal sexual partner, or magically generates food/clothing/shelter, it's not worth it. I think my college tuition cost less than this. My car cost less than 1/10th of this amp. And people bought them. This depresses me.

Sherlock Holmes
* Hell yes this is getting its own category. HAVE YOU SEEN THE PICTURES? They make me retarded. They really do. I get all smiley and giggle and stare longingly at my computer screen, which is why I cannot ever look at these pictures in public.

[Found at Collider]
Ignore Jude Law in his bowler (which hides is Bald, and therefore should never leave his head) and focus entirely on Mr. Downey, Jr. in his shirtsleeves with a cane. And there's tea! OK, we need to move on.

Random
* I can't make fun of this guy, because this is the sort of thing I could see happening to me, due to a series of unfortunate events.

WTF, INTERNET?
* It's an unusual stance for a girl with two tattoos, but I do not especially like piercings. I have no problem with them on other people, I just have never seen the point (which is how many people feel about tattoos, so I GET IT). I do not have my ears pierced (although I briefly had a tongue piercing when I was fifteen and almost breathtakingly stupid, but it was luckily short-lived). Generally, I feel about piercings the way I do about tattoos: they depend on the person, if they're done right they can be gorgeous, and ultimately if the person who has them is happy, that's all that matters.
I'm not sure I can maintain that position much longer:

[Found at Geekologie]
This is all over the web this morning, but that's because it's really very weird. It looks high enough to actually have to be drilled through bone, as opposed to just the cartilage (my friends assure me that cartilage piercings are very painful). Also, what if you sleep on your belly? Also, what happens when you're pulling clothes over year head - will they get stuck? Can they come OUT? (I looked, they can, I feel much better about the whole situation). But, and this is my eternal question on all piercings, what if it gets caught on something and RIPS out of your face? WHAT THEN?
However, full points for awesome creativity, ballsiness, and waking me up better than four cups of coffee ever could.
This could be cool. I may get behind this, in the end. As long as I don't have to get one. I'll just opt for another tattoo, OK?
- LV

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Lazy Sunday

Finished (I think) editing my story, which I am extremely pleased with. I'm going to let it sit for a day, then do one more pass. Then I'll send it out to be mocked and maligned by the publishing world.

I spent a long time just writing down any story idea that popped into my head. Most of it is science fiction/fantasy style, which shouldn't surprise me as much as it does. As we all know, I have a deep love for both genres (note DOCTOR WHO, ANGEL, HARRY POTTER, and the works of ALAN MOORE, WARREN ELLIS, NEIL GAIMAN, GARTH ENNIS, and dozens of others), but I never thought much of writing it myself. It always seemed (still seems) ridiculously hard to create a fantasy world. So my experiments in the genre are still firmly rooted in 'reality,' so as to scare me a little less.

I think MICHAEL CHABON has the right idea. He writes in any genre he wants. He doesn't just write humor, or romance, or historical fiction - he writes about whatever the hell he wants. I don't want to confine myself. I want to write horror, and comedy, and memoir-stuff, and chick-lit, and fantasy, and non-fiction. So that's what I'm going to do.

I also wrote an outline for a novel, which I don't think I've ever done before. Usually I would just throw myself into it, which is probably why after 10 or 20 pages, I would have no idea what the hell was going on. The outline itself went in a totally different direction than I originally intended, because I am convinced that if I include ANY real romance in this story, it will end up in the 'fantasy romance' section, and I will never be consoled. So no real romance - just lots of pretend romance and misunderstandings, which is more realistic anyway. It's sort of a TERRY PRATCHETT/CHRISTOPHER MOORE-style idea, but I'm hoping it will be good. Obviously - that's why I'm writing it.

I still want to expand my thesis and get it published. 63 pages, which seemed horribly long when I was writing it, is not nearly long enough for a whole book. But I'm reluctant to add more unless I have interest from a publisher/editor/agent/person with money. Can I just submit my thesis, with the promise of more pretty pages, or do I have to write the whole damn thing before I can start shopping it around? See, I need an agent to answer these questions. Or someone out there could. Answer it. Now.

I either have the flu, or a sinus infection. It's irrelevant, because either way I feel like shit. I want my head to stop pounding, and my nose to stop running. Medicine is failing me. I might splurge and get actual food, in an attempt to boost my immune system. Is pizza good for your immune system?

I applied at the bookstore nearby, which is actually hiring (!), and have an interview on Wednesday as a concession bitch at a movie theater. I might bail - 7.50/hr is actually worse than what I was getting paid at my last job. And that's BEFORE taxes, people.

Been reading FRAGILE THINGS by NEIL GAIMAN, which I bought when I applied at the bookstore, as well as rereading SHERLOCK HOLMES and AMY HEMPEL. I'm studying the structure of short stories, seeing what works and what doesn't. 

That's all, really. Quiet day. Sick Day. Going to read, and write, and watch the Food Network, which is my guilty pleasure channel. The weather is lovely; if my head clears a little, I may take a constitutional around the block.

- LV

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