Blog * There is honestly no comment I can make that wouldn't be dirty. It's not possible. Title is from Castle.
WTF, INTERNET? * If you've been reading FEAR AND LOATHING, you know it went through a phase where every day there was a new, frightening toilet to behold. Then the lull in toilet mania. All was well. No more singing/Tweeting/massaging toilets.
Unfortunately, nothing lasts forever: [Found At Best Week Ever] It's a sink-mirror-mug-toilet! FROM TEH FUTURE. FOR THE ENVIRONMENT. I don't even have the energy to get upset about a toilet that's smarter than my laptop. I don't know. You poo in a toilet. WE'RE BACK TO TALKING ABOUT TOILETS, GUYS. IT'S GROUNDHOG'S DAY.
I withdraw my complaints. Being exhausted sort of pales in comparison, yeah?
Daily Hot Guy [Gareth David-Lloyd, AKA Ianto Jones from Torchwood.... um.... stabbing someone.... WHY DO I FIND THIS ATTRACTIVE? I FROWN UPON REAL-LIFE VIOLENCE, BUT FULLY SUPPORT NOT-TRUE SCIENCE FICTION VIOLENCE. PLUS IT NEVER HAPPENED.
OK, let's get a nice picture without homicide: See? Isn't he adorable?]
Moment Of Win * I find these funny. Clearly I am a terrible, terrible person. see more Epic Fails
UPCOMING: An explanation on why I love Legion so much, a rant about chain store fail, and other stuff. Maybe. - LV
PS Another short blog, but it's snowing. That is my excuse. IT IS A GOOD ONE.
Blog * Um, I think it's just your elbow. Title is from Clone High.
* I overslept, but since I vowed to blog every day this month (WHAT WAS I THINKING?), here are a few of my favorite categories, for your viewing entertainment.
Blog * It's nice that he can see the positive side, right? Even though we're all doomed? Title is from Futurama.
Apocalypse How? * The internet. Our flicker god of porn and wisdom. Apparently, internet addiction is like drug addiction, which means people who SHOOT YOU for a fix, so one day when SkyNet destroys the internet and none of us can play FarmVille, the world will erupt into a howling vortex of violence and crazed people making the Dial-Up noise as they slaughter people. TRUTH.
Books * 2010 can't come fast enough: [Found at ISS] I want to send a copy to Dr. Horrible. Maybe he'll spare me then.
Nostalgia!Win * I loved Rainbow Brite as a child. Loved her, wanted her horsey with the pretty hair, and her power to make rainbows, which when your six seems pretty useful in daily life. But they've redone it, for reasons beyond me, but to be honest I'm sort of OK with it: [Found at Topless Robot] She's not MY Rainbow Brite, obviously, but you know what? She doesn't look like a transvestite hooker, and she's fully clothed, and that's ALL I can expect from the media anymore. On the other hand...
Daily Hot Guy [Gareth David-Lloyd, AKA Ianto Jones from Torchwood, AKA THE HOTTEST OF THE WELSHMEN and I still can't talk about Children of the Earth, guys, but it's OK, because he'll be Watson in an undoubtedly SUCKISH Sherlock Holmes adaptation, and I am fine with that.]
Blog * For more information on my religion based around the genius of Bruce Campbell, send money. Title is from Burn Notice.
Star Trek * See, this is practically canon: [Found at ONTD_StarTrek] Kirk is a dick. He's great, and he should never change, but he's not a modest, taciturn fellow. More are here.
Doctor Who * Here is an interview with one of the Doctor Who writers. I do not know if he also writes for Torchwood, or if he has a VENDETTA against brilliant, sexy Welsh office boys, but I think it's best for everyone if I just assume 'no.' Still not letting it go, actually.
Apocalypse How? * I get up early because I have to. I do not enjoy it, and I would never brag about it, mostly because that's an insane thing to brag about. But some people do, and people who get up early and ENJOY it, and do it of their own inclination, are mutants, and they will attack us normal regular sleeping-folks while we're all blurry and have morning breath and no coffee in us, and then the world will end and we'll all die, so I should totally get to go back to bed, because do YOU want to be responsible for the end of the world? Didn't think so.
TwiHate * Oh my god, I love this article. Jezebel is the best website ever, and this article on why people have no tolerance for Twihards, and why we all enjoy making fun of them, is glorious. And true. No one can say I have no sense of humor about MY fandoms. My Little Rorschach? In retrospect, the category title is sort of inciting the anger the article is against, but I don't really care. What? I'm a fandom snob. And I've read Twilight. I'm sorry, it hurts.
Inglourious Basterds * HAHA, Inglorious Basterds made ALL the monies this weekend, and was amazing, and beautiful, and scary as shit, and TARANTINO FOREVER, FUCKERS. Sorry. I get much shit for my Tarantino love (a lot fully deserved and in good fun) but I am still entitled to feel delight when he PWNS YOU ALL. I know everyone says this, but Christophe Waltz scared the everloving shit out of me as the Jew Hunter. Scared. The. SHIT. Out of me. He made drinking MILK a frightening experience. He should get a Best Supporting Actor nomination, hands down. Ohh, that reminds me, I need to do Oscar picks at some point. PS to Kay, who discussed this with me yesterday: Obvious Jackie Earle Haley should get Best Actor nomination. Rorschach ain't no supporting actor. And no, I don't think Robert Pattinson should get an Oscar nomination. And I kind of hate you for asking that. Let's go sit in separate fandom corners, OK?
People I Love * So Megan is on the podcast World Peace Through Jackie Earle Haley (and has a T-shirt to prove it!) and I read her blog for shit I need to know, and I heard you liked blogs, so I put blog in your blog so you could have blog.... sorry, Watchmen moment. Anyway, her blog is funny and smart and has Jackie Earle Haley, and today's title is from Ghostbusters, so clearly she's kind of like god, only without the smiting. That I know of. Go read her blog.
Daily Hot Guy [Gareth David-Lloyd, AKA Ianto Jones from Torchwood, who made me cry a little last night, by simply saying, 'Yup,' and who is going to be at DRAGON*CON in 9 days, and I am INSANE ABOUT THIS BECAUSE I MISS EVERYTHING GOOD. Ahem. He's very cute. Incidentally, I moved Children of the Earth back on my Netflix queue, but I may move it up again, because I am a firm believer in the theory that repeated trauma numbs you to the pain. Also I need to watch Day Five again, because I really don't remember much, because Day Four was evil.]
Stuff To Live * I want to buy these for Hannibal Lector: [Found at LikeCool] It will amuse him, and then I will survive the evening. I also want to use these at fancy dinner parties, but that's just how I operate, which is why I don't HOLD fancy dinner parties.
And, because this morning seeks to annoy me, and I cannot go to the Nine Inch Nails concert tonight that I spent A LOT OF MONEY ON AND REALLY WANTED TO GO TO: I love his hat, and Jeffrey Dean Morgan, and I want to be sitting between them, soaking up the awesome.
I need to go back to bed. But instead, I will go to work. At least I love my job, right? RIGHT? - LV
Blog You know what, Mal, I WILL. I AM HAVING A ROUGH WEEKEND. ALREADY. AND YOU AND YOUR TV SHOW AND MOVIE ARE PIECES OF THE SADNESS PUZZLE. Title is from Firefly.
Animals * The Taco Bell Chihuahua died, and CNN just made FUN of it, which is kind of obnoxious. I mean, I know it's a dog. But a dog dying is almost as sad as certain CHARACTERS I LOVE DYING HORRIBLY FOR NO REASON. Ahem. Sorry. It was a rough night. Anyway, CNN is made of fail, and this Chihuahua (I cannot spell that) scared off a cougar, because it tried to eat its friend. You wouldn't do that, would you? You'd climb up a tree and watch your friend get eaten, wouldn't you? Everyone is very disappointed. You've shamed us all.
Daily Hot Guy [Ianto Jones in a sweatshirt. Ignore the dead chicken thing. He's played by Gareth David-Lloyd. I didn't say ANYTHING. No spoilers here. Nope. KEEP MOVING. I'm crying because New Jersey smells bad.]
Apocalypse How? * I'm not saying the plane itself will kill anyone: [Found at UniqueDaily] But people are sensitive and paranoid. You see this thing shoot by, you think, 'Oh shit, the DALEKS ARE HERE!' You run into your apartment, seal up all the windows and doors, break out your AK-47 and the beans and bottled water, and wait. And wait. And after a few days or weeks or months depending on your credit card bills, someone comes looking for you. And by then you have some nutritional deficiencies from only eating canned food and using a bucket instead of the bathroom, you hear the door being opened and think it's the zombies, FINALLY, and you shoot everyone and run through the streets like an ass. So no planes near homes, OK?
TwiHate * Dear Twilight: STOP IT. You already have books and movies. I accept that, with bad grace, but I accept it. But now you're going to be a comic? NO. JUST NO. STOP ENCROACHING ON MY TERRITORY? WHAT'S NEXT? YOU GOING TO HAVE ALAN MOORE WRITE IT? WILL NEIL GAIMAN DO A GUEST STORY? STOP BREATHING MY AIR. (I know they're vampires and they don't breathe, SHUT UP.) The point is, I AM VERY FRAGILE TODAY. AND YOU ARE MAKING ME EVEN MORE UNHAPPY. WHY? I DO NOT NEED TO GO INTO A COMIC SHOP AND HAVE STUPID TEENAGE GIRLS SIGHING OVER EDWARD 'I'M A CREEPY SPARKLY STALKER' CULLEN. I hate that I know his name. I HATE that I am using brain cells to store that knowledge. And while usually I subscribe to the philosophy that as long as people are reading, it doesn't matter what they're reading, in this case, NO. My imaginary children are not allowed to read Twilight. They can read Watchmen at TEN, but there is NO WAY they are going to grow up thinking it's OK to treat women like delicate objects of ownership, and be suckish and made of FAIL. Twilight comics. I may have to start drinking before noon.
Girly Shit * If you get me these shoes, I will stop being sad and depressed and hostile. For ten minutes. More if you also let me get that manicure, and the complete Torchwood DVD series (except Children of the Earth, WHICH NEVER HAPPENED), and Dollhouse on DVD, and Gargoyles on DVD, and more of that awesome Bloody Mary Mix, and Jackie Earle Haley. And Alan Rickman, and Russell Brand. And Gareth David-Lloyd, who if I ever meet I am going to hug and refuse to let go of until the police come with cattle prods. I'm kidding, please don't arrest me.
Music
The Talking Heads are the only thing that might cheer me up today. ALSO, I got the NIN tickets. But the people I wanted to go with can't go on the day I got tickets for, so now I have to go alone, and I am stuck with the bill for all three tickets, WHICH I CANNOT AFFORD. So, Universe - Infinity. LV - 0.
Technology * Do not let me near India's hot chili grenades. I will use them on ANYONE who makes me MILDLY cross. Including on my mother, who just asked me if the word 'welcome' had a 'D' on the end. I threatened to stick my head in the sink. SPELLING IS IMPORTANT, PEOPLE. That's why the country is in TATTERS. TATTERS, I SAY. What was I talking about? Oh, yeah. India is working on hot chili grenades. Which would be non-lethal, but extremely painful, so I couldn't get arrested for MURDER, now, could I? 'It was an accident, officer, he tripped and fell into the grenade. Did I say grenade? I meant Great-Nade! They're fun! LOOK OVER THERE IT'S A PONY.' Then I run away. Not that I would ever harm another person, even if the world is a cruel and sadistic place that gets off on making me upset and angry. I would just threaten them, yell a lot, then go have a good sulk. That's much more realistic. Plus I'm 5'0", and as well all know the only short dude with the power to terrify is Jackie Earle Haley, and he's at Comic-Con now, WITHOUT ME.
Watchmen * This makes me very happy. Very, very happy. I am taking joy from wherever I can get it. Like here: ARCHIE ARCHIE ARCHIE. Leave me alone.
Tattoo Of Win [Found at LOLTATZ]
Food * These would also make me happy: [Found at WomansDay] They are macaroni and cheese nuggets. I would eat buckets of these, while drinking super-spicy bloody marys, and watching seasons 1 and 2 of Torchwood, taking a break between discs to view Watchmen, and then I would not feel so shitty and put upon by life. CAN SOMEONE MAKE THIS HAPPEN? Oh, and there are many more macaroni and cheese things here, including one with lobster, which I would eat the SHIT out of. That sounds disgusting.
Moment Of Win * HOLY SHIT SHOOT IT IN THE HEAD: see more Fail Blog I know it's not a zombie, but the bitch has six fingers and a creepy smile. AIRTIGHT LOGIC.
If my unborn imaginary child is very lucky, his name will be Hunter Walter Ianto, instead of Walter Ianto Hunter, or Ianto Hunter Walter, or Rory. Although Rory is the least traumatizing name choice. 'Stop crying! You are named after heroes and warriors and makers of coffee and princes of badassery! If you the other kids tease you, BITE OFF THEIR CHEEKS.'
Books * I didn't make this, but it's on the internet and in GRAPH FORM, so it must be true: see more Funny Graphs Also vampires coated in booty dust are by definition made of fail. DEAL WITH IT.
Harry Potter * Oh, LOOK! It's yet ANOTHER fandom that reduced me to a sobbing pile of misery and TEARS. How are you? Good? Ruin anyone else's day? Well, it's still early. Yes, I am going to make a LIST of fandoms that destroyed my brain and made me the way I am today, and I will PROVE MY THEORY that if I love a character, they end up NOT ALIVE. WHY MUST I BE CURSED SO? I mean, lots of people like Ozymandias. LOTS OF THEM. And his hair is FIERCE. WHY DID I NOT LOVE HIM?! HUH?! Sorry, sorry, I'm OK now. Obviously I have some geek!rage to deal with. Here are some amazing bits of trivia on the movie Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. It's interesting and fun, and David Thewlis (Lupin) has a baby with Anna Friel (Chuck from Pushing Daisies), which inexplicably pleases me. Maybe because one day ALL my fandoms will be connected. BUT: Harry's eyes do not look green in the movies. ANY of them. They look BLUE. NOT GREEN. So I don't get this bullshit about him wearing green contacts, when I have had MANY conversations about blue-eyed FAIL. Or maybe my TVs just have fucked up color issues.
Star Trek * The only DVDs I've bought recently are Watchmen-related. I am sort of over DVD-buying, especially since I tried to sell some for monies, and I sold my Ingmar Bergman Criterion Collection (IT HAD THREE MOVIES) for twelve bucks. But I may compromise (sorry, Rorschach) and buy the Star Trek DVD, because J.J. Abrams is totally going to endorse my geekery by showing me around the Enterprise (AND HAHAHAHA, it's ANOTHER fandom where my favorite character died. Wait, why am I laughing about that? OMFG, and Next Generation, TOO. I AM RIGHT ABOUT THE CURSE. Who wants an exorcism?)
Most likely I will post again, because it is fun to be passive aggressive and shitty on the internet. Admit it, it totally is. - LV
TeeVee * Here are reviews of two shows I am intensely excited for, and already a big fangirl of: Human Target, starring Jackie Earle Haley as High Priest of Win WITH A MUSTACHE, and Emerson from Pushing Daisies. Beyond that, I don't care. Oh, and V, which has got Zoe AND Wash from Firefly. I will watch these shows no matter what. If they make you go blind and DIE - OK, then maybe not. But Jackie Earle Haley and Alan Tudyk would NEVER harm me so. Also, further proof that everything good and wise happens at the San Diego Comic-Con, and nothing good EVER happens in New Jersey, except Bruce Springsteen and Patti Smith, and even SHE was born in Detroit, the end.
Journalism * Hold up. Wait a second. WHAT? According to this incredibly snarky and hostile article, bloggers are immoral bastards for pimping for their secret sponsors. Yes, some of them do that, and it's bullshit unless you let people know what you're doing, but aside from that, WHY DO I NOT HAVE A SECRET SPONSOR? I mean, HELLO. Zack Snyder and Warner Bros. should have paid me for all the crazy press I gave Watchmen. This is UNFAIR! I AM WILLING TO SELL MY SKILLS AND WARES. I HAVE NO PROBLEM COMPROMISING MY VALUES. I'm broke, I live in my parent's house, times are TOUGH. Where are these corporate sponsors?! It's because I post filthy entries, isn't it?
Wow * I just... OK: [Found at FrigginRandom] I... I have no idea how to respond to this.... the cereal. It's judging me. It's screaming for help! Oh god, someone get me some foie gras. At least that doesn't STARE at me while I chow down.
Geek Want * I wanted the cigarette mug: [Found at LikeCool] Until I realized that cigarette ash is not a delicious addition to coffee. So moving on.
* George W. Bush grew a pair in the last weeks of the presidency, and told Dick Cheney where to stuff it. Dick Cheney responded by jumping out from behind figures and yelling at Bush for not pardoning his BFF Scooter Libby. And Bush just sighed and kept his head down and got the hell out of dodge, and now when he sees Dick screaming on TV about how the terrorists hate Obama, he chuckles and thanks any god that's listening that he no longer has that living corpse to cart around with its own personal storm-cloud of crap.
* Brave, brave, brave Mark Sandford. When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled. And by danger, of course I mean a scandalous but ultimately boring affair. Mark Sandford has only shown up for work 15 of the last 25 working days. That is... problematic, to say the least. South Carolina needs an official who's actually, you know, THERE, and on the same continent, and working to help the people who live there. I'm just saying. At least most politicians PRETEND to give a shit about their states. In public.
Awesome * No, I do not have a coffee addiction, just a deep profound love and understanding DON'T TOUCH IT. Anyway, reader and finder of coolness WingsofPhantasy9 found this wonderful/depressing list of stuff kids will not remember someday, because they are stupid and awful. OK, that last bit may be my own bitter interpretation, but kids today! Pull up your pants! Here are my favorites, and the ones that I remember the best from Ye Olden Times (I'm 23) Inserting a VHS tape into a VCR to watch a movie or to record something. Man, I miss VHS so badly. I still have my old recordings of George Carlin specials. And when I worked at the video store, we played SOCCER with the VHS. You can't do that with DVDs. Believe me. We tried. Playing music on an audio tape using a personal stereo. Vinyl records. Even today’s DJs are going laptop or CD. I still have my vinyls of Bruce Springsteen and INXS. Laserdisc: the LP of DVD. Scanning the radio dial and hearing static between stations. Or better yet, hearing a snip of one of your favorite songs through the static and turning the volume as high as it would go, in a desperate attempt to hear said song. 3-D movies meaning red-and-green glasses. Watching TV when the networks say you should. Tivo and Sky+ are slowing killing this one. That there was a time before ‘reality TV.’ And the idea made people laugh. The scream of a modem connecting. And the soul-crushing moment when the connection was dropped. 5- and 3-inch floppies, Zip Discs and countless other forms of data storage. I LIKED floppies. They were hard to break. DOS. What HAPPENED to DOS? Blowing the dust out of a NES cartridge in the hopes that it’ll load this time. I still try this with more modern games, only I blow into the console itself. My little brother thinks I'm insane. I miss NES> Joysticks. DUCK HUNTER. Finding out information from an encyclopedia. Using a road atlas to get from A to B. Although in my case I still ended up hopelessly lost. Doing bank business only when the bank is open. Shopping only during the day, Monday to Saturday. Phone books and Yellow Pages. Newspapers and magazines made from dead trees. Filling out an order form by hand, putting it in an envelope and posting it. Not knowing exactly what all of your friends are doing and thinking at every moment. Carrying on a correspondence with real letters, especially the handwritten kind. I miss letters. And handwriting skills. Gopher searches. Holy crap, I haven't thought of these in YEARS. Privacy. I'm watching you. The fact that words generally don’t have num8er5 in them. Correct spelling of phrases, rather than TLAs. Waiting several minutes (or even hours!) to download something. Typewriters. Fuck that. I use one at work every day, and typewriters will once again rise and reclaim the world! ATTICA. Putting film in your camera: 35mm may have some life still, but what about APS or disk? Sending that film away to be processed. Having physical prints of photographs come back to you. Getting lost. With GPS coming to more and more phones, your location is only a click away. Trust me, I will still manage to get lost. Don't underestimate my powers. Rotary-dial telephones. We have one in my house. Answering machines. Using a stick to point at information on a wallchart Pay phones. Phones with actual bells in them. Fax machines. Vacuum cleaners with bags in them. And sometimes the bags would explode. Taking turns picking a radio station, or selecting a tape, for everyone to listen to during a long drive. Talking Heads? What? NO we are NOT playing Chumbawumba again Remembering someone’s phone number. I can't remember the number of anyone from the past five years, but still remember every one of my friends' numbers from middle school Not knowing who was calling you on the phone. Actually going down to a Blockbuster store to rent a movie. I still do this sometimes. LEGO just being square blocks of various sizes, with the odd wheel, window or door. And PlayMobile! Waiting for the television-network premiere to watch a movie after its run at the theater. Especially for Free Willy! Neat handwriting. Nope, never had it. Starbuck being a man. And a fictional character. Han shoots first. He does, you ignorant BASTARDS. “Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.” But they’ve already seen episode III, so it’s no big surprise. Kentucky Fried Chicken, as opposed to KFC. And Boston Chicken. I was PISSED at the name change, although the reason new escapes me. Finding books in a card catalog at the library. Swimming pools with diving boards. If you hit your head on the bottom, you drowned or WALKED IT OFF. Hershey bars in silver wrappers. Mmmmmm. Roller skates, as opposed to blades. Spending your entire allowance at the arcade in the mall. A physical dictionary — either for spelling or definitions. When a ‘geek’ and a ‘nerd’ were one and the same.
Man, I miss the past. Times were simpler, the snow was whiter, and other stuff, etc.
Daily Hot Guy [Ianto Jones from Torchwood. I don't remember how to spell the actors' last name, but I am NOT looking it up again, because last time I did I ACCIDENTALLY read Epic Spoilerz, which I have since forgotten, and I missed last nights' episode of Children of the Earth for a good cause, so I will watch it TONIGHT because I figured out the DVR, finally, AND the final episode, which airs tonight, and all of your giving significant glances about my favorite character are making me very, VERY nervous, although if what I think happens happens, my theory on If I Love A Character Horrible Things Will Happen To Them will pretty much be airtight, and I will make a LIST and CRY. Oh, and according to my tags, the adorable actor here, who looks damn fine in a suit, is Gareth David-Lloyd.]
WTF, INTERNET? * Remember when I had this category every day? Good times. I miss them. I also miss Rocko's Modern Life and the original Land Before Time. Anyway, this is a USB camera-headband that's waterproof: [Found at DVICE] The ad is all, 'use it to study nature and go on bike rides!' but don't trust them. This is really to be a complete superfreak perv and videotape people at pools and shit. Why else would it be waterproof, hmm? Look, privacy is a thing of the past. I can find information on almost anyone in a few minutes, and I nearly blew up Skype last night. We need to accept this and stop letting our drunk friends convince us it would be super-funny to post naked pictures of Facebook. And these little cameras will not help. I see anyone swimming around with their head in the water, I'm kicking them. 'I'm sorry, officer, I thought he was videotaping people's unmentionables. I was protecting my lady parts.' Then I will not go to jail, because airtight logic. Although if you and your partner want to use it in the shower, that's fine, I guess. As long as I don't have to know about it, I don't really care. And everyone is a consenting adult, and you stay the HELL out of the community pool with your pervy little video camera.
Movie!Win * I didn't see Wolverine: Origins because I was told by several reliable sources that even Hugh Jackman and his Arms of Powerful Lust could not stop the eyescabs of agony that this film caused. But from what I've heard, Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool was pretty much the only part that didn't cause ritual suicide. So I'm filing the Deadpool movie under Movie!Win for the following reasons: - Ryan Reynolds is hot. - Ryan Reynolds was the best part of Blade: Trinity (not JUST the part where he was chained shirtless to the floor. Although that part was pretty great. - Ryan Reynolds is a big enough fan to know that Deadpool often breaks the fourth wall (something I enjoy, because it's post-modern, and I was a liberal arts student), and insist that he does that in the movie. Which could be terrible, I admit. But it's Friday, and I'm feeling generous. Also, lest we forget, Ryan Reynolds is hot: What? You KNOW you would have just Googled it, anyway.
Dear Torchwood: Do not kill my soul. I am fragile. - LV
Blog * File this under, 'Things that sound sort of cool until you realize she means vampire MUSH, and then not so much.' Title is from True Blood.
Wow * This is a hot dog: [Found at Neatorama] I suddenly want to contact these people and plan out Watchmen: The Wiener Edition. It will be dark, complex, and appear in IMAX.
Politics * Look, I really DO like Pat Buchanan, and he's old, and if I ever meet him I will ask him how it feels to be affiliated with both Hunter S. Thompson AND Watchmen, and if that gives him super powers. I may also hug him to steal some of his magic. But not his spelling skills: [Found at Wonkette] I didn't write 'lamers,' because I wouldn't do that. Also because I don't call people 'lamers.' But spelling errors are always funny.
* I do NOT, however like Donald Rumsfeld. I just don't, in part because of a panel on torture I attended in college where I got to speak with Janis Karpinski. But some people do like Donald Rumsfeld, including this dude who wrote a book about him, and how he's misunderstood by the liberal media. Now, just one thing: the liberal media wasn't nice to Rumsfeld. But some of the most damning criticism came from the conservative side. When your own party things you're a sadistic son of a bitch, that is NOT a good sign. Like how the liberals think Bill Clinton is an irascible hound dog who let his dick control the presidency. Hey, I like Bill Clinton. But for all the good things he did, he'll be remembered as President 'Sexual Relations With That Woman.' My point got away from me there, didn't it? Blame it on a rum hangover. And it's Monday.
* I like this article about Rachel Maddow and Pat Buchanan, and why they don't get along, because as I keep saying I want Pat Buchanan to be my second grandpa. He could get drunk with my current grandpa and they could call me a Communist Pinko, and then my father could call me a raging conservative, and I could sit there and be confused. This has happened, by the way, with my father insisting I am an uber-conservative, and my grandfather, deeply offended, replying with claims that I am a liberal Communist Pinko, and I quietly take bets from the other relatives on who is going to win the argument.
* Prince Charles has predicted the day we will all die. Enter it into your diary, and begin the panic, as he is the once and future king, only instead of pulling a sword from a stone and saving England, he said filthy things on the phone to his mistress. Real life is NEVER as fun as the book.
Awesome * This may be my new favorite web-series. DUDE, SUPERHERO DRUG ADDICTS. YES. Watch the first episode, and bow before the mighty win.
WTF, INTERNET? * I don't care if it's for health reasons, this is fucking disgusting: [Found at BoingBoing] So kids blow up balloons with their noses, and it clears their inner ear. No. Because you know what kids will do? They'll make goddamn snot balloons, and throw them at people, and society will COLLAPSE. I'm not kidding. You don't let kids play with bodily fluids. They have no self control. Yes, this may help them breathe better, but you'll end up with snotty kids. And kids, while sometimes cute, are by and large smelly and loud and inconvenient, and frankly if you add 'constantly snotty' to that list, the birth rate will plummet. Which might be a good thing, for the overpopulation of earth, so maybe I should just shut up. But keep your snotty spawn away from me. They are gross, and that one over there has an iPhone, and is SIX.
Daily Hot Guy(s) [John Barrowman and Gareth David-Lloyd as Captain Jack Harkness and Ianto Jones in Torchwood. AND I THINK I JUST READ THE SPOILER FOR CHILDREN OF THE EARTH. GOD DAMMIT ALL TO HELL]
Movie!Win * I have no problem admitting I love the Final Destination series. It's a collection of awesome death scenes. That's ALL. Fuck the plot or characters. Elaborate and creative death scenes. So yes, I WILL be seeing the fourth installment in 3-D, and I will enjoy it, and I do not CARE what that says about me or my intellect, because sometimes you just want to laugh at the violence.
