Big Damn Heroes.

Blog
* This needs to be added to my list of T-Shirts I must make. Title is from Firefly.

Comics
* I don't usually follow Spider-Man's orders, but I do believe in the importance of voting:

That being said, I'd do pretty much anything The Beast said. You don't mess with him. He's a large blue dude. You don't piss off large blue dudes.

Girly!Want
* I need everything in the following picture, and you all need to buy it for me:

[Found at Haute Macabre]
Why do you need to buy it for me? Oh, there's an excellent reason.... but I can't tell you. It's a secret. Just trust me, and send money.

Food!Win
* This is the cutest cake since the Wall-E cake. Maybe even cuter:

[Found at Geekologie]
Yes, it is in fact cuter. But not too cute to eat. In fact, it's too cute NOT to eat. Look, I don't have to make sense, it's a goddamn Ewok cake and I need to nom it RIGHT NOW.

Words Of Win
* So I think Heroes is canceled (the information is confusing and contradictory, and Greg Grunberg keeps saying it isn't, and I suspect NBC doesn't really know, or they're worried Zachary Quinto will get into method acting and try to study their brains).

Which is too bad, because for a while it was a brilliant show with much awesome and sexy guys angsting all over the place. Which I enjoy. I hope they do a TV movie series finale, because the show deserves a good send-off. And maybe Christopher Eccleston will come back with his pigeons. A girl can dream. But I digress:

I think if Sylar and Peter had just hugged more, the show would have remained good. PS Claire annoys me.

Childhood!Fail
* It's not unplugged, is it?

[Found at Friggin Random]
Nope, it totally isn't unplugged. Who wants to field trip to the hospital?

Daily Hot Guy

[James Marsters, who is inarguable proof that an English accent makes even hot guys hotter. It's inexplicable, and unquestionable. Anyway, he's in a suit, and if you pretend he's speaking to you in a British accent, life is quite wonderful.]

Daily Icon

[Xena, who hung out with Bruce Campbell, which is even FURTHER proof she's a goddess.]

Iron Man 2
* Hopefully you've seen it by now, and SAM ROCKWELL was in it, which I knew and then forgot about, because I am a terrible person. I love Sam Rockwell. I want him to be the villain next time. That would delight me. Anyway, here's a clip:

I saw it twice in one weekend. Actually within 24 hours. Not on purpose. Honest. Tony Stark rules.

Whut?
* Continuing my theory that People Are Awful/Confusing/Frightening, I present Ginormous Mermaid Bosoms On A Tiny Little Girl:

[Found at World Of Wonder]
I'm not even going into 'Mermaid Assistant.'

Doctor Who
* The Doctor in LEGO form! Lookit! Nine! With a Banana! Random Capitalization!

[Found at Neatorama]
I miss Nine. I want a Three Doctors with Nine, Ten, and Eleven. Please? I've been a very good girl. In my mind.

True Blood
* True Blood is getting another werewolf this season. And, since it's True Blood, there will be enormous amounts of nudity:

[Found at World of Wonder]
Frankly, as long as Eric Northman shows up and is hot and evil and text messaging people, I don't give a shit what happens.

Supernatural
* Rather than post a review of last night's season finale of Supernatural (as I screamed on Twitter, TOO MANY EMOTIONS TO EXPRESS WITH MERE WORDS, BUT I THINK IT WAS GOOD, YES?), here's a GIF that makes life worth living:

[Swiped from Miss Bushido, who shows me such goodness]

Epic!Win
* This sums up my entire view of internet life:

[Found at Very Demotivational]

Books
* Sigh..... Here's a review of 1984 from Amazon:

At first I did like the book. Then it just started to suck right around the time when Winston was getting sexually involved with his girl friend. I hated the book so much that I forgot her name. The first hundred or so pages i liked, then it just got really boring. So II highly reccomend that you DO NOT READ THIS BOOK. And please for the love of God don't read that "Brave New World" book by Hoxley. It is twice as worse as 1984. To put it bluntly, DON'T READ ANY GEORGE ORWELL. Your just waisting your time.

You misspelled 'Huxley.' And you used the incorrect form of 'your.' And I hate you. I hate you so much. Frankly, I don't think George Orwell WANTS you to like his book. There's a review of A Tree Grows In Brooklyn, but it made me feel violent and shouty, so click the link to read it.

Stupidity should be painful. Wait, is that why I have a sinus headache? DON'T ANSWER THAT.
- LV

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If She Talked Any More Shit She'd Be Shaped Like A Toilet.

Blog
* COMING UP NEXT WEEK: People-shaped toilets! Brought to you by the internet! Title is from True Blood.

Words of Win
* I have some issues with this story:

A 14-YEAR-OLD boy drank gasoline for five years to obtain “energy” – just as his idols “Bumble Bee” or “Optimus Prime” do in “Transformers,” the Sichuan-based West China Metropolis Daily reported yesterday.

A) This kid drank gasoline for five YEARS? HOW IS HE ALIVE?
B) His parents knew about this and DID NOTHING? I don't have kids, but if I did, and I found my child drinking gasoline to be like a giant robot, I'd switch it, I don't know, APPLE JUICE? Something that won't STRIP YOUR INNARDS?
C) He kept this up for five years? Wouldn't you give up after a year or two when you didn't become a giant, super-powerful robot? Maybe I just lack conviction.
D) GASOLINE?

Doctor Who
* Yay, a new Doctor Who audio book read by David Tennent! Ten lives on forever!

`Hello, I'm the Doctor. And, if you can hear this, then one of us is going to die.'

.......Or not. Wait, can I have a third option?

Epic!Fail
* You know what?

see more deMotivational Posters
I'll use the other bathroom. You can use this one. The fact that this picture exists has ruined all of my Friday. It's just Photoshopped, RIGHT?

People I Love
* If it were not for the internet, I might never have seen this inexplicable and frankly fabulous picture:

[Found at Oh No They Didn't]
I take back everything bad I said about the interwebz.
(Note: No, I don't know, nor do I care. Really, I don't know why Quentin Tarantino is biting Christoph Waltz's ear. I HAVE NO IDEA. Some mysteries are best left unsolved]

Daily Hot Guy

[Bruce Campbell as Sam from Burn Notice. You know, Bruce Campbell visited the Virgin Islands once. Now they're The Islands.]

Childhood!Fail
* When I was a kid, my mom read me The Runaway Bunny:

[Found at World of Wonder]
And The Giving Tree. And my parents punished me by sending me to my room, not hinting that I could possibly be SENT AWAY to experience satanic ritual abuse.

Times have changed.

Daily Icon

[Vivien Leigh, actress, fashion fierceness, and BAMF English lady who could out-Southern the Southern Belles. Also Ophelia, Cleopatra, and Blanche Du Bois, among others. Most famously, Scarlett O'Hara, a shrewd bitch and brutally pragmatic woman who took no shit, and rocked some dressed I want. Requested by Alchemistique, who stole Scarlett's wardrobe.]

Awesome
* Whoever sent me this, thank you. I hated Forrest Gump. I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE FOR THIS. Except for Gary Sinise, who was a burning hunk of genius.


Fandom
* Yeah, this dress is not sexy, and I am not wearing it:

[Found at Like Cool]
The girl isn't helping matters. Her expression says, 'Yeah, can I have my paycheck and go wash the stink of failure from my skin?'
Can we just bring NES back?

Food!Fail
* It's things like this that make me profoundly grateful my grandmother does not read this blog. She's Italian, and takes cooking very, very seriously:

[Found at This Is Why You're Fat]
And I'm sure that ravioli stuffed with barbecued rib meat and mashed potatoes, sour cream, bacon and chives, all topped with melted cheddar, bacon, cheese sauce, green onions and shredded cheese breaks every taboo in her book of food.

Although then maybe I'd get an exclusive on a story like, 'Tiny Elderly Italian Woman Beats The Everloving Fuck Out Of Whoever Desecrated The Ravioli.' She would.

Technology
* Why, no, I haven't run out of iPad jokes, why do you ask?


Politics
* James O'Keefe is not a nice person. In fact, he is a shit head. He's not a political figure, so maybe this doesn't actually belong in this category, but he fucked with ACORN and now is fucking with New Orleans, and NOBODY would think that scrawny little piece of fail was a pimp. Oh, and he doesn't seem to like women, or people who are different races, or anybody who's not him. Can I see your cane for a minute, James?

* This photo of Scott Brown, like the iPad, NEVER stops being funny:

[Found at The ISS]
Hey, if the dude can be a naked politician, more power to him. I just think it's funny how naked he is, in Cosmopolitan. Oh, and the Democrats consider this guy to be the Fourth Horseman of the Apocalypse, when we all know it's a tall blue alien that wants to sex us with his hair.

Yes, I'm still pissed about Avatar.

Dollhouse
* Um, so reading this recap of the final episode of Dollhouse made me cry, which was surprising. I mean, the show was criminally uneven, with some of the worst episodes Joss Whedon has ever done, and some of the best episodes of any show he's ever done (Truth. There are a couple of Dollhouse episodes that rank as his finest work).

But I loved it, and I loved Topher and Alpha Wash, and I cried a few times at the series finale (AND AT ELIZA DUSHKU. I apologize for doubting you. You were fabulous.) and now I'm sort of pissed at Joss Whedon for not keeping the show consistently good.

THERE WAS POTENTIAL. AND FRAN KRANZ MAKES ME SHOUTY BECAUSE HE AND ALPHA WASH SHOULD TEAM UP WITH DR. HORRIBLE.

Anyway, all my above natterings are meaningless, because of one line in this article:

(Dear Christopher Nolan: Alan Tudyk should be the new Joker. Love, Everybody Who Knows What's Up.)

HOLY GOD. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE GENIUS THAT HAS BEEN UNLEASHED ON US? I WOULD SEE THIS. I WOULD SEE THE SHIT OUT OF THIS. HE COULD PWN CHRISTIAN BALE AND NOT EVEN BREAK A SWEAT. MY BRAIN IS SO HAPPY WITH THIS IDEA. AND DAVID TENNANT AS THE RIDDLER? I... I need to go lie down....

In other news, I need to knit a mustache for my shark. LITERALLY.
- LV

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I AM A Giddy Goat.

Blog
* You know, when you say this out loud, in real life, people tend to give you some peculiar looks. Title is from The IT Crowd.

* ThatRevChap (who is the husband of the fabulous and all-powerful Patience, proving the universe can be glorious sometimes) has a gaming blog, and because of it I now want video games, an iPhone, and Ben & Jerry's ice cream. And I think I deserve them.

Daily Buy
* I want these leather gauntlets, and I think they are badass, and I know for a fact I am not getting them, but I SHOULD, RIGHT?

[Found at Free People]
They are SWEET, and only $30.00, and a STEAL, and I need them in my life, because I think the zombie apocalypse is coming soon, and these would be helpful, and I will only tell you how to survive said apocalypse in exchange for these leather gauntlets. Times are tough, guys.

Holiday!Fail
Roland Burris has ruined "'Twas The Night Before Christmas".

Well, then.

TeeVee
* I can't embed this video, which is depressing, but you MUST click the link, because it is Dean Winchester (AKA Jensen Ackles) from Supernatural, ad-libbing a music video to 'Eye Of The Tiger' while dancing all over the Impala, and I could watch it forever and be a better person. Sent to me by Karma, who HAS the eye of the tiger, but not Dean Winchester. DOES SHE?

Awesome
* Oh. My. God. What you are about to see was sent to me by BossMew, and I will be in her debt for this for ALL TIME. It is a picture of David Tennant. Dressed as Russell Brand. THERE ARE NO WORDS:

NO WORDS, PEOPLE.

Childhood!Fail
* And, on the opposite end of the wordless spectrum, we have this delightful piece of information:

As many as three-quarters of state schools are failing to push their brightest pupils because teachers are reluctant to promote 'elitism', an Ofsted study says today.

This is happening in England. Here in the US, we don't have gifted students. We sell them to other countries for gold. Low blow?

Daily Hot Guy

[Anthony Rapp, because it's almost Christmas, and even jaded New Yorkers sort of love Rent at Christmas, RIGHT? Anyway, who cares, he's adorable, and when he sings I am happy.]

Movie!Win
* Um, I kind of love Mark Millar's Batman idea. Don't hurt me, but the idea of the Joker as super-rich, quasi Se7en serial killer anarchist (with Harley Quinn, PLZ?) makes me all fangirly and squee. I would see this movie. SEE IT A LOT. But until then, I'll have to buy the comic, Nemesis, when it comes out, and see how this all turns out.
And yes, I know of course that his idea is not a Batman comic, but I am going to pretend that the Joker and Harley have renovated Arkham into a kick-ass mansion, and have cool gadgets, and are rich and crazy.

Wow
* Today I learned that we should NEVER, EVER mix Family Guy with Disney animation.

Family Guy - Disney Style - A funny movie is a click away
HOLY CRAP. I am scared and frightened and want to go away from all of it.
Except for the Adam West mouse. I love that bit.

Animals
* The giant bunny thinks it's a doggie!

[Found at the Daily Mail]
I have nothing else to add. DOGGIE BUNNY.

Crafts
* You can make a VCR into a toaster.

[Found at Neatorama]
Today everything is upside down! DOGS ARE BUNNIES, TENNANT IS BRAND, AND VCRS ARE TOASTERS.
PS The Young Ones is one of the best fucking shows EVER.

Tattoo Of Win

[Found at Ugliest Tattoos]
I am going to pretend, for the rest of my life, that this man's name is actually Tom.

OK. I may be getting sick, or someone may have laced my coffee with Swine Flu. Which would be the same thing, ish.

- LV

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GIR! That Movie Is Some Kind Of Government Spying Tool! Quickly! Eat It!

Blog
* Spying tools are delicious. Title is from Invader Zim.

* Rorschachschick makes incredible videos, like this:

BADASS. BAD. ASS. AND TIM ROTH AND EDWARD NORTON. AND THE MUSIC IS SWEET. Sorry, I'm chugging coffee. But really, you need to watch her videos, because they are beautiful.

Daily Buy
* Totally sexy Mary Janes are the gifts that keep on giving:

[Found at Amazon]
And since I'm advertising them, for free, I get them for free, right? RIGHT? That's how the internet works, isn't it?
My wish list is fabulous, because of what I want, but sad, because nobody will BUY them for me.

Holiday!Fail
* Your Christmas tree is going to kill you and destroy everything you love.

[Found at World's Best Ever]
WE HAVE A SANTA LIKE THAT IN MY HOUSE. Or we did. I think the Christmas tree ate it.

Movie!Win
* I love Terry Gilliam. I really do. Can someone let him make his Don Quixote movie? He's tried for so long. They made a documentary about his failure. And Tideland really freaked me out. And even though it won't happen, his plans for Watchmen made me very nervous. And Robert Duvall as Don Quixote would be some deliriously delightful shit.

So can someone let Terry Gilliam make his movie? Please?

Childhood!Fail
* When I was little and went to EPCOT center, it was AMAZING. Some kid threw up on one ride, which as a small child is pretty much the height of comedy, and I got a stuffed Figment dragon from the ride 'Journey Into Imagination.'

Unfortunately, the ride is now gone, because Imagination is frowned upon, and everything is DOOMED. What's worse? I can't find my Figment dragon.
Here are ten rides that are gone from EPCOT.

Also, on the Wonders of Life ride, I distinctly remember hearing another little kid yelling, 'Ew! That's not what you said!' when the sperm appeared onscreen.


Wow
* Some people live in their own little worlds. Sometimes those worlds are scary:

I can not believe you do not remember me. My heart is broken, b****. Can you really say you don’t remember me?. After that marvelous date at that theatre? I still love you though Even though you’re a bit frazzle-minded.

Nothing good can come of this.


Daily Hot Guy

[Eric Northman from True Blood. When the HELL does that show come back on? I miss Hoyt saying 'Vampire Bill,' and the sex and drinking and mayhem that makes me want to go live in the South.]

Animals
* Do you know what a Tapir is?

A tapir (pronounced /ˈteɪpər/ "taper", or /təˈpɪər/ "ta-pier") is a large browsing mammal, roughly pig-like in shape, with a short, prehensile snout. Tapirs inhabit jungle and forest regions of South America, Central America, and Southeast Asia. There are four species of Tapirs, being the Brazilian tapir, the Malayan tapir, Baird's tapir and the mountain tapir. All four species of tapir are classified as endangered or vulnerable. Their closest relatives are the other odd-toed ungulates, including horses and rhinoceroses.

[Found at Wikipedia]
What it fails to mention is that they are the CUTEST THINGS EVAR:

[Found at Neatorama]
I need a baby tapir. It can be friends with my imaginary baby goat. DON'T JUDGE ME.

Apocalypse How?
* THE PLANES ARE GOING TO FALL OUT OF THE SKY. HIDE ME. I'MMA TAKE A FREAKING BOAT TO ENGLAND. NOTHING BAD HAPPENS ON BOATS. LET ME PRETEND THAT.

Crafts
* Guys, THIS EXISTS:

[Found at Neatorama]
There are people doing this, right now, as you read these words. Do you comprehend what that means? I don't think you do, at all.

Random
* I want Moss singing this song to be my ring tone. Can someone make this happen?

Tattoo Of Win
* I just.... I need someone to explain this to me. Please?

[Found at LOLTATZ]
Why is the lemur tripping on acid?

Food!Win
* These look like churros:

[Found at This Is Why You're Fat]
In fact these are Deviled Corndogs, which are corndog hotdogs pureed with cheese, mayonnaise and tater tots, then re-baked inside a corndog shell.
I had no idea such things could exist.

OK. Off.

- LV

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So This Guy Comes In, Stops The Plot Cold, & Leaves.

Blog
* Title is from Mystery Science Theater 3000, Greatest Show Ever.

* This blog is one you need to check out: The Rock 'n Roll Cook. Rock stars. Telling you how to make their favorite foods, and the insane stories around them. This is brilliant. WHY has no one thought of this before?

Did you know the drummer from Black Sabbath is a vegan? Yes, Bill Ward is one of the only cool vegans alive. He gives you the recipe for his enchilada pie. If you eat it while listening to old-school Black Sabbath, you are imbued with the power of a thousand rock gods.

There are also interviews and recipes featuring Joss Stone, producer Ethan Johns (the man behind Kings of Leon, Ray LaMontagne, Paolo Nutini, Ryan Adams, Rufus Wainwright, Emmylou Harris, The Jayhawks and Crowded House), among others.

The touring drummer for Nine Inch Nails like Frito Chili Pie. I think we made that back in college. For roommates that wouldn't clean the bathroom. It was delicious, but there was a good chance it would kill you. I miss college.

FREAKANGELS FRIDAY
* Yes, it is that glorious day of the week again, wherein Warren Ellis emerges from his technological fortress and gifts us with the sweat from his brilliant brow. After all those weeks of skips, which led to me bemoaning the fate of humanity, we have CONSISTENCY. AND GLOWING EYES. Maybe Karl will explode someone, and I will delight in it.

I need more coffee. Spoilers beneath my signature at the bottom of the entry.

Daily Buy
* This would be a great gift for a kid. It's one of those plant-kits where you learn about nature. But you know what makes this one special? DINOSAURS:

As these bean plants sprout, different dinos appear on the pods that emerge - a truly enchanting way to introduce children to the wonders of the natural world.

[Found at What On Earth]
This would be the best gift. For a child. Yes. Not for an adult. We are ABOVE such silly things. We don't want plants.... with dinosaurs.... RAPTORS.... What?

Holiday!Fail
* The following conversation is true. It was not exaggerated in any way.
Mom: What is that?
Me: It's an ornament.
Mom: Is it Winston Churchill?
Me: What?
Mom: It's Churchill, right?
Me: It's an ORNAMENT.
Mom: You said that. But it's Winston Churchill.
Me: WHY would anyone want Winston Churchill hanging from their tree?
Mom: I don't know. Your blog has all sorts of weird crap. Winston Churchill ornaments would be pretty boring, comparably.
Me: It's a baby:

[Found at Regretsy]
Mom: Why would anyone want an ornament of a screaming baby Winston Churchill?
Me: It's ISN'T- I don't know, Mom. I really don't anymore.

Books
* I love Michael Chabon. Wonder Boys is a fantastic book. So is The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay. And Gentlemen of the Road. Here, he talks about his new book. I'm sorry, I have no snark. I want Michael Chabon's career. AND he likes Doctor Who.

Nostalgia!Win
* Have we talked about my Mortal Kombat love? I loved the games (but none compared to Trilogy), I loved the movies (SHUT UP I WAS YOUNG AND FOOLISH), and the soundtrack is still damn good music to work out too. I miss Mortal Kombat, while at the same time hoping fervently that they NEVER remake the movies, because the ORIGINAL movies were terrible.

What were we talking about? Oh, right, Mortal Kombat, greatest game EVER. And this made me miss it even more:

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

SUB-ZERO FTW.

Daily Hot Guy

[Sam Trammell, who plays Sam on True Blood. Sam used to be my favorite. No longer, but he's still in the top three. I miss True Blood. When does it come back on?

Doctor Who
* I kind of want to watch every Doctor Who episode ever, all over again, for no good reason other than Doctor Who is EPIC LIFE-GIVING WIN.
Anyway, they've announced the dates for The End of Time. I need a hug. From David Tennant. Is he available?

People I Love
* I love Emails from Crazy People, because comparatively speaking, EVERYONE is sane. EVERYONE. I also love this dude, who admitted to wanting to hire someone to dress up as a pilgrim on Thanksgiving to serve him and his guests dinner:

[Found at Emails From Crazy People]
He's a total asshole, but at least he's up front about it. 'Gravy-ladler' isn't a career you hear much about anymore, is it?

Movie!Fail
* David Fincher is directing a movie that features Justin Timberlake.

Yeah, I'm done.

PS I lied, I'm not done. Jesse Eisenberg is in the movie too, and he's rapidly becoming Epic!Win, so maybe if he punches Justin Timberlake, everything will be all better, yes?

TeeVee
* Besides being rich, talented, and BRILLIANT, Edgar Wright has the urge to display amazing DVD TV shows that are not mine:

FINE, Mr. Wright. You win at EVERYTHING. OK? Except being a girl. That's where I'm a VIKING.

Also, I probably know more about Hunter Thompson and fashion than you do. I said 'probably.' I'm not taking any chances.

Awesome
* OMIGOD. OMIGOD.

[Found at Hijinks Ensue]
Kaisha found this for me. I adore her. ALMOST AS MUCH AS BACON ALPHA WASH.

Seriously, it's like these guys climbed into my head and made all my deepest desires come to comic life!

EPIC WIN, PEOPLE. RIGHT HERE.

Movie!Win
* ZOMBIELAND 2. IN 3-D.
That's the tag-line. That I just invented. My fee is several hours with Tallahassee, and a lifetime supply of Twinkies.

I really don't care much either way about the 3-D aspect, but whatever Zombieland thinks is good for me IS good for me. I also want the DVD now. And I think I'll wear my Tallahassee hat today.

Childhood!Fail
* If the image of Megan Fox getting leg-humped by a tiny racist robot as Megatron DIES didn't annhilate Transformers for you, try this:

How did that work? You OK? Stop crying. MEGATRON HATES YOU AND YOUR HUMAN TEARS.

Wow
* Alan Moore. Singing.

[Found at Topless Robot]
Brain broken now. Ears too. All broken bits in head-bones.

Animals
* OTTERS. I WANT AN OTTER. I WILL NAME HIM OLIVER. I AM UNCREATIVE:

How about Ollie? Oswald? OSCAR?

OK, time to read more FREAKANGELS. And if I decide to wear my Tallahassee hat, there will be pictures.
- LV

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR THIS WEEKS' FREAKANGELS TO FOLLOW
- Mark got a booboo! Wow, way for me to undermine the drama. And GOD DAMN THE CARS ESPLODED.

I'd say this would make a sick movie, but then they'd fuck it up, and I would be filled with sorrow and rage. And nobody wants THAT.

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Youth Is Truth! I Wish 'Old' Rhymed With 'Lies!'

Blog
* Maybe it does, maybe it does. Title is from Mr. Show.

Daily Buy
* I know what I want for Christmas:

[Found at Like Cool]
It's a TANK. A TANK. I need this. Because then I get to pretend I'm in Firefly, and wear a leather skirt and, like, a halter top and have big Tina Turner in Beyond the Thunderdome hair, and this thing has FLAME THROWERS, PEOPLE. I could live in this tank.
And it's a steal at $19,999.95. YOU CAN BUY IT ON AMAZON.

People I Love
* Here's an article from NY Magazine about Neil Patrick Harris, and how totally wonderful and made of win he is. AND HE'S A MAGICIAN. DID I JUST BLOW YOUR MIND?

Fandom
* I don't like Pokemon, and I don't like math, but I sort of love this:

[Found at Geekologie]

Movie!Fail
* We don't need another Amityville Horror remake. Really, we've had enough. The last one only got a pass because of Ryan Reynold's arms. And before you call that shallow, have you SEEN his arms? They end most arguments. They are very good arms.

This is not from Amityville Horror, but I like it for many reasons. Anyway, unless you want to feature another sexy guy going crazy shirtless, I am calling this Movie!Fail.

TeeVee
* Remember all those 'baby' cartoons that came out for a while? Tiny Toon Adventures was one of my favorites. Wasn't there a Looney Toons Babies or something? I remember being very scared of Bugs Bunny in a diaper. Here's a list of the best and worst, according to Topless Robot. Yes, Topless Robot did expose us all to the Fan Fiction Friday I posted yesterday. But there's NONE OF THAT in this link. I promise. I couldn't handle that.

Daily Hot Guy

[Neil Patrick Harris, AKA NPH, and I SWEAR I do not plan this stuff out, the Blog just knows who I'm talking about and acts accordingly. It's a little scary, if I stop and think about it.]

Awesome
* If you've seen this, you need to see it again. If you haven't seen it, you need to be exposed to the endless glory of this video:

That should get us all through Monday, right?

Movie!Win
* The title of this category is literal, as some dude bought an old film off of eBay, for less than $6.00 (did that include shipping and handling? Probably not, they KILL you on the shipping), and it turned out to be the Lost Charlie Chaplin film. Stuff like this actually HAPPENS? I worked at a video store, and the rarest film I ever saw was the VHS copy of Cold As Ice.

I still regret not purchasing it.

Childhood!Fail
* Now hold the hell up. I know that kids these days are cuddled and over-indulged and protected from everything, but really, this is starting to get scary.

When it snows, and there is a hill, a kid drags a sleigh up the hill, and sleds down it, and it is fun and exciting and teaches you to avoid crashing into cars or trees or other people. IT IS GOOD FOR YOU.

Well, some parents have decided that dragging those heavy sleighs up those HUGE hills is just too much for their delicate little flowers:

{Found at Like Cool]
Sleds on your ass. So you can run up the hill and slide down on your ass. Because sleds are LAME, it seems. THIS IS CRAP. NO. YOU DRAG THE SLEIGH UP AND IT BUILDS CHARACTER. I LOVED MY LITTLE RED SLEIGH WHEN I WAS GROWING UP.
And you know what? If I was a little kid, and saw another kid with their butt encased in plastic, I'd kick them. Repeatedly. Because that's what kids DO.
How much do you want to bet that this kids' name is Chair Universe Artichoke Dream or something?

Wow
* Longtime blog readers will recall the time I tried to sell some very ugly handmade scarves on Etsy. I felt bad for charging money for such things, although they never sold, so my guilt was short-lived.
This made me feel better about the whole venture:

[Found at Regretsy]
I like the bit where she designed it. Because I used to do that with unbent paper clips when I was bored.

Animals
* BABY MONKEY DAW:

[Found at Jacksonville News]
Bonobo babies are snuggly. I want to rub its little head.

Mondays HURT, man.
- LV

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Do You Know What The Words 'Low Profile' Mean?

Blog
* Oh, Quentin Tarantino knows what those words mean. He just chooses to ignore them. Title is from From Dusk 'Till Dawn.

Freakangels Friday
* FINALLY. IT IS FRIDAY AND THERE IS FREAKANGELS, AND I CAN CATCH UP ON WHAT I HAVE MISSED. IT IS ALL OK. I am also very happy we are flashing back, because I no longer have to spend each week worrying if Karl will live or not. I'm sure you appreciate that as well. So let's all agree that as long as we're in the past, Karl is alive. OK? Spoilers for this weeks' FREAKANGELS under my signature.

Oh, and I finally bought a Warren Ellis T-Shirt Of The Week:

But I've had to promise I won't wear it in front of my family members, who hate health care, and health in general, and already suspect me of being a Communist anarchist liberal type-person.

Remake!Fail
* I think I've yelled enough about this, but it still manages to make me insane:

[Found at Slash Film]
YOU DO NOT FUCK WITH THE KARATE KID. ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE RELATED TO WILL SMITH.

TeeVee
* I love Mystery Science Theater 3000. I love it. I love everything about it. I love Tom Serve and Crow and Gypsy. I may love Joel more than Mike because I think Joel is sexy, but I sort of think Mike was better onscreen. WHAT? Joel is AWESOME. I missed him terribly. But I digress.
Every episode should be on DVD. They should. Or at least on Instant Watch on Netflix. Here's a list of the best episodes that aren't yet on DVD. PUMAMAN. That is all you need to know. PUMAMAN. Think about the possibilities.

Geek Want
* I would like everything on this list. Except the Warren Ellis T-Shirt, obviously. Because I bought that for myself already. Because I'm greedy.
For the record, for the rest of the year, this will be more of a shopping advice section, because I am always looking for cool shit to get people (or to have them buy for me, because, as I've said, I am a greedy girl.)

Awesome
* I can knit. I can't knit WELL, but I can knit. I am now determined to learn how to knit skunk hats for everyone I know:

[Found at Neatorama]
SKUNK HATS FOR ALL. But not the cow hat. It looks like the cow is nomming on the babys' head. Which is not what I'm going for. SKUNK PUNK.

Daily Hot Guy

[Alan Rickman, and a statue head. I have no idea what is going on in this picture. Nor do I care. SOMETIMES THINGS DON'T HAVE TO MAKE SENSE, DO THEY?]

Movie!Win
* BURKE & HARE. BURKE & HARE.

[Found at David Tennant News]
Simon Pegg and David Tennant and John Landis. Click here to learn more about it. BEST MOVIE EVER. You heard it here first.

Childhood!Fail
* Hmm, a motorcycle for small children based on the adventures of a man who broke nearly every bone in his body multiple times.

[Found at Like Cool]
And no helmet! This is a fail because on one hand, as a child I would have loved to get this as a gift. But it can only go up to 4 miles an hour. So naturally I would have raised the stakes:
'Hey, Mommy! Look at me!'
'L! HOW DID YOU GET UP ON THE ROOF WITH YOUR MOTORCYCLE?'
Point is, this is going to end badly. Either make it go faster, or include detailed instructions on the many ways Evel Knievel injured himself over the years, so dumb-ass parents can't sue. Just a thought.

Wow
* I'm not sure how I'd react to seeing this in a subway station:

[Found at Das Cabinet des Dr. Ruthven]
I'm sure it's meant to be positive and hopeful, but it would sort of freak me out. Good times for WHO, exactly? My good time is not the same as a serial killer's good time. Just saying.

Animals
* I want this dog:

What else can I add? I want this dog in my life.

Food!Win
* I made this yesterday for Thanksgiving. It's cranberry chutney:

[Found at Unfussy Fare]
And it was effing GLORIOUS. I would make more, except after yesterday I am never, ever eating again.

Girly Want
* I think I need these shoes. I can't figure out how to embed the image, so click here and see them. I also need a reason to wear these shoes, but that comes after I own them.

WTF, INTERNET?
* OH MY GOD:

[Found at Regretsy]
OH MY GOD. No thank you. Make it go away, please. CHIPMUNKS SHOULD NOT EAT MICE. Beatrix Potter would NEVER do this shit to children. I need to hug a stuffed animal.

Music
* In my next life, I want to be Lady Gaga:

Can someone make this happen? Please?

Technology
* Ikea is both a land of greatness and the place where the mind will crumble. I love Ikea. Here's what you should know about Ikea.
Here's the reason I will always love IKEA:

And Jonathan Coulton, obviously.

Crafts
* I cannot make this hat. But someone should make it for me:

[Found at Instructables]
Because I still cannot afford the super-expensive real pajamas they were selling. And that makes me sad.

Spoilers for this weeks' FREAKANGELS below my signature.
- LV

SPOILERS FOR THIS WEEKS' FREAKANGELS BELOW
- Beautiful art. How did the cops get wise to them? And their hair is so different. It makes it hard for me to tell who they are. MORE IMPORTANTLY, DO WANT THIS:

And I'm broke and trying to make nice things for my friends. It's going to be a rough season, guys. ROUGH FOR MY GREED.

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