If I Had Learned How To Laugh As A Child I Would Right Now.

Blog
* Some people's childhoods should remain a closed book. Title is from Psych.

FREAKANGELS FRIDAY
* It is Friday, and it is raining, which is totally appropriate, since it's sort of like Whitechapel, only without the flooding and the AWESOME, and you know, the death. We frown upon such actions. I will wait until I post the blog entry to read it, because otherwise I will spend the whole entry yelling about Karl, and no one wants that.

Technology
* I want a clock that runs on water:

[Found at Incredible Things]
No reason. I just want to be that cool girl with a water-powered clock.

Heroes
* I STILL have failed to watch this weeks' Heroes, but I WILL, HONEST, before next week. But here's an interview with the earth-mover dude and the knife dude. Tattoo chick freaks me out. Still love Sylar.

Nostalgia!Win
* Who else remembers Monsterpiece Theatre on Sesame Street?

Best thing ever, right? Sesame Street has the best spoofs ever. TRUFAX.

Daily Hot Guy

[James Marsters. You could cut GLASS on his cheekbones.

Steampunk
* I want this console:

Fridays are apparently the days I list the things I want, for no good reason. I mean, do I NEED this? Of course not. But I kind of do.

Journalism
* Here is a list of the most controversial magazine covers. And here's one:

[Found at Neatorama]
I never thought they were going to kill the dog, you know. I mean, between the time it takes to take a picture of the dog, and release the magazine, the gun-holder would have had to put down the weapon. Or the dog was already long dead. What? Let's be logical about this.

Art
* M.C. Escher is one of my favorite artists of all time. I saw his drawings in grade school, and they blew my mind. The hands drawing each other? Profound. Here's the most popular one out there:

[Found at Mental Floss]
Here's some factoids on the brilliant artist, and a bunch of links. I want a print of Escher's work now. Everyone should have at least one.

And I promise not to say, 'Factoids' ever again.

Comics
* Josh of Comics Curmudgeon is so brilliantly and consistently funny that I am now actively hoping Family Circus lasts forever. And Marvin is one twisted comic:

After starting off the week berating his mother for her sexually provocative clothing, Giant Fantasy Marvin-Monster has moved on to engaging in some sort of ritual humiliation-based bath-time play with his father. My point is, we need to start doing research to see what changes in international law are required to put this comic strip on trial for war crimes.

Tattoo Of Win
* The original Tattoo Of Win was so disgusting and hideous that I actually decided NOT to post OR link to it. It was that bad. Let's not talk about it any further. Instead, let's all be puzzled over a banana in a shoe:

[Found at LOLTATZ]

Words Of Win

[Found at Indexed]

Food
* These, my friends, are brownies stuffed with vanilla ice cream that has raspberries and blueberries in it:

[Found at This Is Why You're Fat]
See? Sometimes this category is nice!

I think I need to go find myself some of those brownie sandwiches now. Spoilers for this weeks' FREAKANGELS below my signature.
- LV

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR THIS WEEKS' FREAKANGELS BELOW:
I bet that's Mark behind Kait. And Karl lives! This has really just become The Ongoing Saga Of If/When LV's favorite character will bite the big one. Jack is kind of awesome. And Kait is obsessed. She watched too much TV as a child. See what it does to people?

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I Give It 15 Minutes Until The First One Quits, Or Tries To Commit Suicide.

Blog
* Yeah, I do not miss high school. Title is from Glee.

Nostalgia!Win
* Mad Men. Sesame Street-style. Sesame Street is still the best kids' show ever, and screw anyone who disagrees:

Happy Monday.

Steampunk
* A steampunk video arcade game with a horror movie angle?

[Found at Geekologie]
Yes, please. Dude built this from scratch. I get excited when I knit a goddam glove. AND he lost part of a finger. That's devotion. I'm too lazy to be devoted.

Journalism
* Do you know how infuriating it is when you can't embed a video when there is a clear 'Embed' option? For some reason, I cannot get videos from The Colbert Report to embed on this website. It's very frustrating. So click this link to see a video of Stephen Colbert and Jeff Goldblum performing Battleship: The Movie.

Candy Land is going to be the most upsetting film ever made. You heard it here first.

Art
* I think this is the coolest album cover ever, except for Spinal Tap's albums:

[Found at Warren Ellis]
This is like Tyler Durden's record cover.

Watchmen
* Holy shit, this puts all MY shirts to shame:

Here's the back:

If you need me, I'll be clutching my own crappy shirts and sniffling. At least my FRIENDS are talented, right? Right??

* This picture just makes me absurdly happy:


* Caro sent me this comic, and I laughed and laughed:

Everyone loves Rorschach.

Slightly tangentially, do you know how uncomfortable it is for me to be attracted to Jeffrey Dean Morgan as the dad on Supernatural? Because he's the Comedian! It's such a puzzling sensation. But he's sexy and stubbly! But he shoots pregnant girls!

This is why I should have proper warning before I like a character.

Daily Hot Guy

[Seth Green, who is realistically the type of man I will marry. Requested by KaishaBackwards, who can be a bridesmaid at my Wedding of Crazy.]

Comics
* Oh holy shit. When I am rich and famous and can buy whatever I want and STILL HAVE MONEY IN THE BANK, I want a room like this:

[Found at Comic Book Resources]
Fuck that, I want a room for each comic series I like. AND a room for each fandom. AND a room just for shoes, and a makeup studio. And a pygmy hippo.

You should all hope I never get super-rich. It will be weird.

Tattoo of Win
* What the hell is a beefcase?

[Found at LOLTATZ]
The tattoo looks fake. I have decided it IS fake, because what would it mean if we lived in a world where people had tattoos of BEEF on their persons?

Oh. This world. Right then.

Fucking Blogger. I am sending an angry message to their people, because I need more than ten goddamn labels. UNACCEPTABLE. I have MUCH to say. SO MUCH.

At some point today I'll be doing a review of the TeeVee season so far. But not now. I have precious little caffeine in my system.
- LV

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I May Throw Up On You.

Blog
* Call me crazy, but if it's Dr. Chris Pine or Karl Urban, I won't get so upset. Title is from Star Trek.

* Due to Megan's most recent blog entry, I am now envisioning a TV show which features Jackie Earle Haley AND Fran Kranz. My brain is pleased with this.

* This pizza reminds me of the pizza in All Dogs Fo To Heaven. I don't know why:

[Drawn by Erin]
And I'd like to thank Hollywood for not remaking All Dogs Go To Heaven. Yet. The moronically bad sequels hurt me enough.

Heroes
* Chameleon!Sylar?

No, I need to see my Sybrows. This is a deleted scene from Season 2. No I still have not watched the premiere of Heroes I am doing it today, I have been ill and have a LOT of TV watching to catch up on.

Glee
* Well, here is one show we don't have to worry about getting cancelled. Glee has gotten a full-season pick-up by FOX. HUZZAH. Now let's go focus on Dollhouse, which I am VERY worried about. Maybe they need more singing on Dollhouse? SOMEONE CALL NPH.

Hunter S. Thompson
* A gonzo eulogy for the late, great master. I still feel sad whenever I imagine what he would have said about Sarah Palin. CAN YOU IMAGINE? I love this essay. It's sad and beautiful.

Vampires
* I AM SO DISPLEASED BY THIS NEWS. Let's go to Good/Bad Bullet Points on Lost Boys 3: The Thirst:
- GOOD: Corey Feldman as Edgar Frogg. He was one of my first crushes (SHUT UP, did you SEE Stand By Me and The Goonies, you heathens?), and Edgar Frogg remains one of my most favoritest characters.
- BAD: No Corey Haim. Because the cut scenes from Lost Boys 2: The Tribe featuring Haim were kind of fabulous. Stop having a feud, Two Coreys. Think of your fans.
- GOOD: Jamison Newslander is coming back as Alan Frogg, and since he was bitten according to the Lost Boys lore, Edgar will have the angst, which I enjoy. (Unless they cut that aspect, and then I will be PISSED, but Edgar TALKED about losing his brother to the vampires, and ANYWAY it was in the comic, which also was not especially good.)
- BAD: This article mocks The Tribe. You fail to understand that the ORIGINAL was corny and lame and had TERRIBLE HAIR, but that is why we love it so. And yes, of COURSE Lost Boys 2: The Tribe was not a good movie. But I love it, and I think it's FUN, and sometimes that's more important than anything else, OK? Also, Corey Feldman was ordained a minister. That's RIGHTEOUS.
- EPIC BAD: There is a Twilight reference in Lost Boys 3: The Thirst. Yeah. And it doesn't involve Edgar Frogg destroying Edward Cullen. He is HIRED by a Stephenie Meyers-type, to save her son, or some bullshit. NO, LOST BOYS! DO NOT FALL UNDER THE SPARKLY SPELL!
What's next? From Dusk 'Till Dawn: Super Sparkly Edition? NO. I was kidding. Please don't even joke about that.
PS Yeah, I am still excited about Lost Boys 3: The Thirst. Why? Because I think it may be my favorite vampire franchise, BECAUSE it is so corny (except for FDTD, obviously) and it's fun and lame, and Corey FREAKING Feldman. Leave me alone. Interview With The Vampire sucked. Yeah, I said it.

Nostalgia!Win
* I love The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly. The International Society of Supervillains explains why Lee Van Cleef was one of the best villains, ever. He still scares me. If you haven't seen this movie, you are BARELY human. And don't give me that shit about not liking Westerns. You know who doesn't like Westerns? Puppy Kickers. TRUFAX.

Daily Hot Guy

[Crispin Glover, who may be one of the creepiest DHGs EVER. But it's true. There is something very attractive about a super-creepy, tall, dark, skinny madman. And Willard was a great movie. And his hair fascinates me. Requested by Adrian Johnson, artist supreme and Watchmen fangirl.]

Steampunk
* I had a huge debate with my friend over whether this shoe qualified as Steampunk:

[Found at Incredible Things]
He said Yes. I said No. I said it was cyberpunk if anything, but clearly NOTHING, because it's made by Nike which sort of goes against the whole theory of punk, in general.
He said I was stupid, and wrong.
We both agree the shoes are shiny, though. Your thoughts?

Ad!Fail
* This could also be Ad!Win:

[Found at World Of Wonder]
It's really a matter of perspective.

FlashForward
* I didn't know it was one word. I apologize. Did you watch the premiere? I liked it a lot, while at the same time having almost no clue as to what the hell was going on. But I can't say I care much, because A) Seth Macfarlane was in it, B) It was beautifully shot, C) If it turns into the new Lost, I will have watched it from the beginning, so I will be confused with CONTEXT, D) The cast is very pretty, and E) I love John Cho. Oh, and F) CHARLIE FROM LOST IS ON THE SHOW! WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED?!
So if this is the post-Lost TeeVee world, I say bravo. Bring it on.

Journalism
* The Washington Post does not like depressing stories. They only publish happy stories. The Washington Post will soon be the shortest newspaper on the planet.

Art
* I love D*Face:

[Found at Wired]
But Batman doesn't so much.

Watchmen
* This is, all joking aside, one of the greatest and best things ever to come from Watchmen fandom. No, look:

[Found at Watchdom]
THEY DO THE WHOLE BOOK. I'm serious, it's so good. It even made me a tiny bit teary, and Walter would like you to know he is NOT. HOMOSEXUAL. And the tree doesn't know WHAT an Owlship is. I love this so much. It should be published, so that world peace may be achieved in our time.

* This is Rorschach as a duck:

You don't have to understand. I love you, DancesWithElvis.

* Everything good happens on the West Coast, which depresses me so much because I live in New Jersey, and while we have many cool things here, we do not have the Scream Awards. So this opportunity to get free tickets is WASTED on me. But maybe one of you guys can go, and see the awards, and have a great time, and take pictures for me? Because I gave you the link? Yes?

* I'm not the only one with mixed feelings about the Ultimate Cut:
puina | TweetPhoto

Shared via AddThis
But I am also not Caro, so I can't express myself well.

Comics
* I just finished Bone last night. Yes, I know, I disappoint everyone, let's not go into it. But I loved it. Like, more than I should. I wanted it to be longer (and I purchased the ridiculous, weapon-sized freaking single edition, so that is saying a LOT) and I love Phoney Bone and Bartleby, and I want quiche. I don't know, it just should be read while eating quiche. And Jeff Smith is making more Bone-related projects! So I'm up on Bone INFORMATION.
OK, yes, Serena_Eliza told me about it. BUT STILL. Yeah, I am not a leader of Bone information.

Tattoo Of Win
* See, I'm sure there are people out there that this is a kink for:

[Found at LOLTATZ]
And random tattoo question: Does getting a tattoo on your ass hurt? Not the getting of the tattoo (I have two, and would like more. I KNOW what they feel like. But how do you sit down with that? You have to treat tattoos so delicately. I just can't imagine having to wrap my butt and not put any pressure on it for what, a week or two?

Words Of Win

see more Fail Blog

It's cold, wet, and rainy. Perfect for popcorn, alcohol, and watching geeked-out TV while your humble blogger recovers from her skull-crushing sinus infection.
- LV

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It's Such A Fine Line Between Stupid & Clever.

Blog
* Title is from This is Spinal Tap. I think repeated viewing of this movie could solve all the worlds' problems. And I'm willing to TEST this theory.

Zombies
* DanaM1218 sent me this. I don't know why. Probably to keep me from every doing laundry again:

Zombies are in our LAUNDRY, eating our socks. NOT OUR SOCKS. I love socks. I love my socks. And you might think it's better if they eat socks instead of our brains, but you're just kidding yourself. THEY EAT BOTH. ARMAGEDDON, MAN.

Apocalypse How?
* ROBOTS ARE REPRODUCING.

[Found at ToplessRobot]
The robot has babies. It GIVES BIRTH. Think about this. Soon they're going to be all, 'Well, humans, now that we can give birth to robot babies, you are extraneous, and you're going to die now.'
And read this:
Me: OMFG LOOK AT THIS.
Mom: Robots are having babies? Cool.
Me: COOL?!
Mom: Sure. They're using them for medical practice.
Me: The robot HEMORRHAGES AND SCREAMS AT YOU. NOT COOL AT ALL.
Mom: It only does that so they can make sure it doesn't happen to people. It's not real. Think of all the lives that can be saved!
They're everywhere. Trust no one.

Epic!Fail
* Crap. My Robot!Mom was right. Apparently, sitting up straight makes you feel better about yourself. I slouch. I slouch, and I'm short, which is a bad combination. But I only slouch in the morning, while I'm half-slumped over a cup of coffee, bleary-eyed and hung over, so I don't think that has anything to do with my mercurial self-esteem.

Seriously, though, I'd appreciate it if we didn't tell Robo!Mom about this. With her robot powers, she might, I don't know, JAM A METAL ROD INTO MY SPINE, and then say, 'You will sit up straight FOREVER NOW.' That would suck a lot. Or she might just get smug and be all, 'I told you so.' I'd prefer the metal spine rod, to be honest.

Writing
* This is a really great method for getting through a creative slump. It's not just for writing, but since I can't draw (really, this is not false modesty. I cannot draw, and I cannot dance. These are two things I just can't do. I can do lots of other things, including speak in Latin and recite obscure film facts and write, so I accept my failings) I will use it for writing. WHICH I ONCE AGAIN HAVE TIME TO DO. Let us rejoice. Or just me.

Steampunk
* I really don't KNOW anything about steampunk, and I won't pretend to, because then people who know a lot about it would expose me and it would make me cry shameful tears. But I do love steampunk, and I think it's cool and pretty and interesting, and I want to know more about it, because when Warren Ellis and Alan Moore grow bored and reboot the world to their liking, it will probably look like this:


[Photos by Lex Machina]
And it will be cool and futuristic, and be like a hybrid of FREAKANGELS, Transmetropolitan, Watchmen, and Swamp Thing. Or we'll all just be eaten by Alan Moore's beard while Warren Ellis smokes cigarettes and curses.

Daily Hot Guy

[Corey Feldman. Don't look at me like that. The neck tattoo is hot, too. I hope we see more of it in the next Lost Boys installment.]

Books
* Well, this is depressing as shit. On the list of the ten most pirated eBooks of 2009, only ONE does NOT make me want to claw out my own eyeballs and scream into the night. ONE. And then I think that people probably only want that one book because of Dan brown, and the eyeball-clawing urge begins once again.

Childhood!Fail
* Toys have changed a lot since I was a kid. This list of the seven most inappropriate toys proves that. I don't think the tattoo gun should be on the list. Not next to pole-dancing dolls and nipple-tassel shirts and breast-feeding baby dolls for girls that have not yet hit puberty. Yet none of those are the most disturbing, to me. What's worse than all the things I just listed?
This:

Why the FUCK do I have to shave this hobbit-baby? I refuse. You CANNOT make me shave the pubic hair of a baby plastic hobbit doll. WHY DOES THIS EXIST? I'M SCARED NOW.

Torchwood
* I want this poster:

[Found at Life, Doctor Who, & Combom]
And yes, I could clearly print one up on my sad cheap printer paper using my sad cheap printer ink, but dammit that just isn't the same. Ianto would have used NICE paper and NICE ink. The point is, someone should print this up on pretty expensive paper and give it to me, as a gift, because I have a hangover. This is AIRTIGHT LOGIC.

Inglourious Basterds
* I would like to see Jane Campion's new movie, Bright Star. But now all I can think about is Quentin Tarantino's take on poetry, and if such a thing would
A) Save the world
B) Destroy the world, or
C) Just further exasperate my friends who simply skip over this section as it is. YOU CAN'T STOP OUR LOVE! (Anyone know the quote reference? Correct answer gets a prize!)

More later. Happy Sunday.
- LV

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