Blog
* And I would let you. Title is from Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog.
WARNING: THIS IS A SPOILER-HEAVY ENTRY. SPOILERS FOR THE FOLLOWING BOOKS/TV SHOWS/MOVIES:
* Angel: The Series
* Blackadder
* Burn Notice
* Doctor Who
* Dollhouse
* Firefly/Serenity
* Freakangels
* From Dusk 'Till Dawn
* Gargoyles
* Harry Potter
* House, M.D.
* Lost
* Red Dwarf
* Star Trek: The Next Generation
* Star Trek: The Original Series
* Torchwood
* True Blood
* V For Vendetta
* Watchmen
THESE ARE BROKEN UP BY CATEGORY, SO SKIP THE ONES YOU AREN'T UP TO DATE WITH. SPOILERS BELOW. IS THIS WARNING ENOUGH?
Fandom Fail
* OK, if you follow me on Twitter, or read this blog, you know I am convinced I am cursed to love the character that dies. It's what happens. If I love a character on a TV show, in a movie or book, they die. Usually horribly. And I am bereft, because that's how I roll.
Some of you don't believe me, or think I'm overreacting. HA, I say. You want to see real angsty FAIL? Read on. Broken down by fandom, so you can skip if you haven't seen a whole series.
Angel: The Series
* Allen Doyle: This was also the first instance where my favorite character died in the one episode I MISSED. I should have been prepared, since Joss Whedon is a cruel man who does TERRIBLE things to people. And I love him. But yes, Doyle died, nine episodes in, and it was excruciating. I was in high school, for fuck's sake. Those are turbulent times. And you don't need to come home and watch a taped episode (VHS, no less) and find out your favorite character is DEAD, and on a show where everyone is always dying and coming back, he DOESN'T. Then the actor died, and I was NOT OK. But at least Whedon showed the extended effects of his death, mentioning the character throughout nearly every season of the show. But Doyle was funny and sad, and self-loathing, and really redeemed himself in the end, and he had an Irish accent.
* Wesley Wyndham-Price: Now, I HATED Wesley when he turned up. I was thinking, 'Great, they've replaced my favorite character with my least-favorite Buffy character, but since he has an accent, no one will notice.' But no, Whedon had to continue on being brilliant. Wesley got under your skin. He grew on you, especially with his relationship with Fred. So by third season, I was Team Wesley. Big time. Especially because Angel has always annoyed me a little. But then he went crazy, and I was REALLY excited. The character evolved into someone completely different, in an organic way. Then he died, once again hideously, in the last episode. After losing the woman he loved, and having to watch HER die, and having to settle for being held by what essentially took over his girlfriend's body. THAT IS TWISTED AND SAD.
Blackadder
* In the last episode of the series, suddenly we get M*A*S*H* on everyone, and it's surprisingly touching, and Hugh Laurie is so scared, as is everyone, and the ending is one of the most beautifully devastating moments in television, and EVERYONE dies. So I really had no chance with this show, but how was I supposed to know? Baldric? BALDRIC? COME ON. He wrote a story about a happy little sausage (or his ancestor did), and this is how it ends?
Doctor Who
* The Ninth Doctor: I know the Doctor regenerates, and I really do think David Tennant is a genius in the role, and I love him endlessly, and no disrespect, etc. But Nine was my Doctor. I loved him, and how underneath all that manic good cheer you felt like he was going to snap and start biting people (Remember 'Dalek'? Shit was INTENSE), and he was sad, and also I have had a thing for Christopher Eccleston since Shallow Grave. And I know he didn't 'die,' but the character went away forever, and he suffered, and he gave that incredible goodbye speech to Rose ('Have a fantastic life'), and he BROUGHT BACK Doctor Who as a viable show, and dammit we only got one season of him, and could he at least be in a special, PLEASE? He bailed on Heroes, too, which makes me think Mr. Eccleston wants me to hate him. I refuse.
Firefly
* Hoban 'Wash' Washbourne: Part of me still doesn't quite believe this character is dead, because it was abrupt. I'm sitting in the theater, enjoying my film, and then BAM HIDEOUS DEATH OF BELOVED CHARACTER. I should have seen it coming. But since the series/show is over, maybe this bothers me less. No, it still bothers me immensely. This is also the only time Joss Whedon has come REMOTELY close to what I will now and forever refer to as 'RTD Fuckery' by killing a character for reasons beyond me. But then he did an interview and explained it, and while it's still not OK, AT ALL, at least I know he thought about it, and didn't kill a much-loved character just for PLOT DEVELOPMENT. By the way, am I the only one who thought, really, that it was going to be Jayne who died?
From Dusk 'Till Dawn
* Richie Gecko: Look, this is the only movie in which I can justify my attraction to Quentin Tarantino, and even then I just barely get by, and he is funny in this movie, and yes he rapes and murders a cleaning lady, and you know what? I just reread that sentence, and think I should sit quietly now.
Gargoyles
* Brooklyn: OK, he didn't die, because it was a Disney cartoon, and good guys don't die, generally. But he was fast on his way to becoming a twisted son of a bitch, and then they CANCELLED THE WHOLE SHOW, so it's like he died, so I count this. Also I miss the show terribly, and am planning to revisit it with my little brother, whether he wants to or not.
Harry Potter
* Severus Snape: Seriously, I was not OK. I called my friend and wept into the phone for hours after I finished the last book. Because, as the best writers do, J.K. Rowling made it hurt. She took a wonderful, beautiful character, had him die (NEEDLESSLY, AS IT TURNED OUT) and then rubbed salt in the wound by showing us how he ended up there. It's really an exquisitely written plot, even from the first book, and is my defense whenever people scornfully declare that it's a kid's series. I could write a book on Snape, but I won't. Suffice it to say, he had all the characteristics that make me love a character: He was brilliant, and darkly funny, and misunderstood, and ugly, and could be cruel, and had terrible weaknesses, and was brave and loved one person completely, and sacrificed everything for the memory of love, with no hope of redemption or reward, but because he felt his own life would just barely atone for his sins. That's the SHORT version.
* Remus Lupin: Because I had been warned that pretty much everyone died in the last book, I picked two characters to live (OK, I picked three, and Neville Longbottom made through all right, but he was only a reserve favorite). Lupin lived his life ostracized, lost all his dearest friends, finally found love, freaked because he felt he'd doomed his wife and baby to a miserable life, got over it, and DIED. WITH AN INFANT BABY. AND HIS WIFE DIED, although I never much liked Tonks, for no good reason. J.K. Rowling hates me.
House, M.D.
* Lawrence Kutner: Obviously, House is my favorite character, but since he's the star of the show, and this isn't a supernatural show, it would be fairly hard to run it without him, so it doesn't count. But I thought Kutner kicked ass. Ever since he turned his number upside down to keep from getting fired, I wanted him to be on the team. Plus, he's Kumar! And his death made terrible sense, and was one of those incidents where I loved and hated it. I thought House's reaction was spot-on, and I wanted to hug Taub. But mostly, I want Kutner back. Because I do not enjoy Thirteen and her shenanigans at all.
Lost
* Charlie: I stopped WATCHING after Charlie drowned. I almost stopped watching after Charlie was hung, because I was so disturbed by the episode. But I prevailed. Then they killed him, and I am DONE, because I can't TAKE it, and have too many fandoms AS IT IS.
Red Dwarf
* Arnold Rimmer: I know he died in the first episode, and remained dead (but active!) throughout most of the series. I don't care. I feel a huge amount of sympathy for Rimmer, who nobody loved (in part because he was a disgusting person) but really he was so insecure and lonely, and by the time he left he wasn't a bad guy, and I'm counting him because I want to.
Star Trek: The Next Generation
* Data: I know there were logical reasons behind this (like Brent Spiner aging) and I do not give a SHIT. I am still SAD.
Star Trek: The Original Series
* Spock: Don't try to comfort me by telling me he came back in the next movie. I was nine when I saw that, and I was inconsolable, and he still DIED, didn't he? Yes, yes he did.
Torchwood
* Ianto Jones: I apologize in advance, because I have been insane about this since it happened, so if you're sick of me yelling, skip to the next section. BUT REALLY. WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK? They build this beautiful, complicated character (brilliantly played) and form a deeply conflicted relationship for him, and they kill him! KILL HIM BY POISONING HIM, WHICH IS NOT PLEASANT. AND AND-
- I thought he was safe, because Russell T. Davies had already killed off nearly HALF THE CAST in the PREVIOUS season finale. THERE IS NO ONE LEFT.
- Jack couldn't say 'I love you,' which I know is a sign of what a royal geek I am, but COME ON. When someone is dying, and they're scared, you tell them that you love them, OK? Although it's a really extraordinary scene, and I lost my shit in an undignified and shameful way.
- I keep hearing all these rumors that they kicked Ianto off the show because they were trying to 'gay it down,' which is DISGUSTING. And would be very sinister, since RTD created Queer As Folk. Plus, you know, it would be HORRIBLE.
- What really gets me upset is that they didn't even DWELL ON IT in the last episode. Dude you love died, in your arms, at TWENTY-EIGHT FREAKING YEARS OLD, and you mention him in the list of everyone who's died on the show, including goddamn SUZIE? ARE YOU SERIOUS?! CAN SOMEONE FREAKING EMOTE HERE?!
I could say more, but I'm not going to. Suffice it to say, TEAM IANTO MAKES COFFEE. Fuckers.
Edit: I have just been informed by uber-fan and wise-person Antonella that Ianto was, in fact, 25. Two years older than me. Well, that just makes the whole thing SO MUCH WORSE. Need to go cry AGAIN, now, for obvious reasons.
V For Vendetta
* V: Don't kill me, but I kind of thought his death scene in the movie was better than in the book. Friends of mine remember this movie as 'the one where Elle locked herself in the bathroom and sobbed for half an hour after we watched it. Even though she'd seen it before. Repeatedly.' I think I have a weakness for characters who die thinking they just weren't good enough, or that they deserved death, after a lifetime of isolation and suffering and angst. Which says VOLUMES about my mental state, let me tell you.
Watchmen
* Rorschach: Well, hello there, Alan Moore. Are you here to twist my brain into tiny little balls of PAIN? That rhymed. Alan Moore has stated that he realized Rorschach would die while writing Watchmen. I did not pick up on this. It makes sense. I do understand it. I know he wouldn't have WANTED to live in Veidt's brave new world. I know that living would have meant sacrificing everything he was, and would have negated his very life's purpose. I know he was suicidal, and that he thought he was dirt too, and that he had a PLETHORA of personal issues, and that he was lonely and unhappy. I know part of the reason I adore him is that he's the only character in Watchmen who keeps their integrity. I know he told Manhattan to do it.
All that aside, there are few things more painful in the life of a fan than watching your favorite character, who has already suffered more than most people can even imagine, and who is almost universally despised (except by his army of fangirls) bet EXPLODED by a big blue naked dude who takes thirty-five minutes between lines. Except that in the comic, he dies alone, and NOBODY NOTICES THAT HE'S DEAD. At least in the movie - which had many flaws - his best friend is witness, and we get some owl rage.
The real crime is that there's so much lost. I know the mask ate his brain and all, but he was brilliant, and slyly funny, and had strong morals and principles. Rorschach is what we like to call layered, and that's what makes the loss so painful, and so iconic.
Exceptions To The Rule
* Burn Notice (Because if you kill Bruce Campbell, the terrorists win. Also a black hole will swallow the earth, and darkness will reign, and Spencer and Heidi will be declared the Rulers of Culture)
* Dollhouse (Although who thinks Topher is in trouble? Am I the only one? Topher is my second favorite, after Alpha.)
* Freakangels (Which, for me, has become a weekly exercise in DOES KARL LIVE?!)
* True Blood (Although I missed last weeks' episode, and if anything happens to Eric or Sam, I will be MIGHTILY annoyed. But perhaps not on the level of these characters, because... hm. I don't know. A character on True Blood has to die before I know how I'll react.)
That was very cathartic. I need a drink.
- LV
* And I would let you. Title is from Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog.
WARNING: THIS IS A SPOILER-HEAVY ENTRY. SPOILERS FOR THE FOLLOWING BOOKS/TV SHOWS/MOVIES:
* Angel: The Series
* Blackadder
* Burn Notice
* Doctor Who
* Dollhouse
* Firefly/Serenity
* Freakangels
* From Dusk 'Till Dawn
* Gargoyles
* Harry Potter
* House, M.D.
* Lost
* Red Dwarf
* Star Trek: The Next Generation
* Star Trek: The Original Series
* Torchwood
* True Blood
* V For Vendetta
* Watchmen
THESE ARE BROKEN UP BY CATEGORY, SO SKIP THE ONES YOU AREN'T UP TO DATE WITH. SPOILERS BELOW. IS THIS WARNING ENOUGH?
Fandom Fail
* OK, if you follow me on Twitter, or read this blog, you know I am convinced I am cursed to love the character that dies. It's what happens. If I love a character on a TV show, in a movie or book, they die. Usually horribly. And I am bereft, because that's how I roll.
Some of you don't believe me, or think I'm overreacting. HA, I say. You want to see real angsty FAIL? Read on. Broken down by fandom, so you can skip if you haven't seen a whole series.
Angel: The Series
* Allen Doyle: This was also the first instance where my favorite character died in the one episode I MISSED. I should have been prepared, since Joss Whedon is a cruel man who does TERRIBLE things to people. And I love him. But yes, Doyle died, nine episodes in, and it was excruciating. I was in high school, for fuck's sake. Those are turbulent times. And you don't need to come home and watch a taped episode (VHS, no less) and find out your favorite character is DEAD, and on a show where everyone is always dying and coming back, he DOESN'T. Then the actor died, and I was NOT OK. But at least Whedon showed the extended effects of his death, mentioning the character throughout nearly every season of the show. But Doyle was funny and sad, and self-loathing, and really redeemed himself in the end, and he had an Irish accent.
* Wesley Wyndham-Price: Now, I HATED Wesley when he turned up. I was thinking, 'Great, they've replaced my favorite character with my least-favorite Buffy character, but since he has an accent, no one will notice.' But no, Whedon had to continue on being brilliant. Wesley got under your skin. He grew on you, especially with his relationship with Fred. So by third season, I was Team Wesley. Big time. Especially because Angel has always annoyed me a little. But then he went crazy, and I was REALLY excited. The character evolved into someone completely different, in an organic way. Then he died, once again hideously, in the last episode. After losing the woman he loved, and having to watch HER die, and having to settle for being held by what essentially took over his girlfriend's body. THAT IS TWISTED AND SAD.
Blackadder
* In the last episode of the series, suddenly we get M*A*S*H* on everyone, and it's surprisingly touching, and Hugh Laurie is so scared, as is everyone, and the ending is one of the most beautifully devastating moments in television, and EVERYONE dies. So I really had no chance with this show, but how was I supposed to know? Baldric? BALDRIC? COME ON. He wrote a story about a happy little sausage (or his ancestor did), and this is how it ends?
Doctor Who
* The Ninth Doctor: I know the Doctor regenerates, and I really do think David Tennant is a genius in the role, and I love him endlessly, and no disrespect, etc. But Nine was my Doctor. I loved him, and how underneath all that manic good cheer you felt like he was going to snap and start biting people (Remember 'Dalek'? Shit was INTENSE), and he was sad, and also I have had a thing for Christopher Eccleston since Shallow Grave. And I know he didn't 'die,' but the character went away forever, and he suffered, and he gave that incredible goodbye speech to Rose ('Have a fantastic life'), and he BROUGHT BACK Doctor Who as a viable show, and dammit we only got one season of him, and could he at least be in a special, PLEASE? He bailed on Heroes, too, which makes me think Mr. Eccleston wants me to hate him. I refuse.
Firefly
* Hoban 'Wash' Washbourne: Part of me still doesn't quite believe this character is dead, because it was abrupt. I'm sitting in the theater, enjoying my film, and then BAM HIDEOUS DEATH OF BELOVED CHARACTER. I should have seen it coming. But since the series/show is over, maybe this bothers me less. No, it still bothers me immensely. This is also the only time Joss Whedon has come REMOTELY close to what I will now and forever refer to as 'RTD Fuckery' by killing a character for reasons beyond me. But then he did an interview and explained it, and while it's still not OK, AT ALL, at least I know he thought about it, and didn't kill a much-loved character just for PLOT DEVELOPMENT. By the way, am I the only one who thought, really, that it was going to be Jayne who died?
From Dusk 'Till Dawn
* Richie Gecko: Look, this is the only movie in which I can justify my attraction to Quentin Tarantino, and even then I just barely get by, and he is funny in this movie, and yes he rapes and murders a cleaning lady, and you know what? I just reread that sentence, and think I should sit quietly now.
Gargoyles
* Brooklyn: OK, he didn't die, because it was a Disney cartoon, and good guys don't die, generally. But he was fast on his way to becoming a twisted son of a bitch, and then they CANCELLED THE WHOLE SHOW, so it's like he died, so I count this. Also I miss the show terribly, and am planning to revisit it with my little brother, whether he wants to or not.
Harry Potter
* Severus Snape: Seriously, I was not OK. I called my friend and wept into the phone for hours after I finished the last book. Because, as the best writers do, J.K. Rowling made it hurt. She took a wonderful, beautiful character, had him die (NEEDLESSLY, AS IT TURNED OUT) and then rubbed salt in the wound by showing us how he ended up there. It's really an exquisitely written plot, even from the first book, and is my defense whenever people scornfully declare that it's a kid's series. I could write a book on Snape, but I won't. Suffice it to say, he had all the characteristics that make me love a character: He was brilliant, and darkly funny, and misunderstood, and ugly, and could be cruel, and had terrible weaknesses, and was brave and loved one person completely, and sacrificed everything for the memory of love, with no hope of redemption or reward, but because he felt his own life would just barely atone for his sins. That's the SHORT version.
* Remus Lupin: Because I had been warned that pretty much everyone died in the last book, I picked two characters to live (OK, I picked three, and Neville Longbottom made through all right, but he was only a reserve favorite). Lupin lived his life ostracized, lost all his dearest friends, finally found love, freaked because he felt he'd doomed his wife and baby to a miserable life, got over it, and DIED. WITH AN INFANT BABY. AND HIS WIFE DIED, although I never much liked Tonks, for no good reason. J.K. Rowling hates me.
House, M.D.
* Lawrence Kutner: Obviously, House is my favorite character, but since he's the star of the show, and this isn't a supernatural show, it would be fairly hard to run it without him, so it doesn't count. But I thought Kutner kicked ass. Ever since he turned his number upside down to keep from getting fired, I wanted him to be on the team. Plus, he's Kumar! And his death made terrible sense, and was one of those incidents where I loved and hated it. I thought House's reaction was spot-on, and I wanted to hug Taub. But mostly, I want Kutner back. Because I do not enjoy Thirteen and her shenanigans at all.
Lost
* Charlie: I stopped WATCHING after Charlie drowned. I almost stopped watching after Charlie was hung, because I was so disturbed by the episode. But I prevailed. Then they killed him, and I am DONE, because I can't TAKE it, and have too many fandoms AS IT IS.
Red Dwarf
* Arnold Rimmer: I know he died in the first episode, and remained dead (but active!) throughout most of the series. I don't care. I feel a huge amount of sympathy for Rimmer, who nobody loved (in part because he was a disgusting person) but really he was so insecure and lonely, and by the time he left he wasn't a bad guy, and I'm counting him because I want to.
Star Trek: The Next Generation
* Data: I know there were logical reasons behind this (like Brent Spiner aging) and I do not give a SHIT. I am still SAD.
Star Trek: The Original Series
* Spock: Don't try to comfort me by telling me he came back in the next movie. I was nine when I saw that, and I was inconsolable, and he still DIED, didn't he? Yes, yes he did.
Torchwood
* Ianto Jones: I apologize in advance, because I have been insane about this since it happened, so if you're sick of me yelling, skip to the next section. BUT REALLY. WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK? They build this beautiful, complicated character (brilliantly played) and form a deeply conflicted relationship for him, and they kill him! KILL HIM BY POISONING HIM, WHICH IS NOT PLEASANT. AND AND-
- I thought he was safe, because Russell T. Davies had already killed off nearly HALF THE CAST in the PREVIOUS season finale. THERE IS NO ONE LEFT.
- Jack couldn't say 'I love you,' which I know is a sign of what a royal geek I am, but COME ON. When someone is dying, and they're scared, you tell them that you love them, OK? Although it's a really extraordinary scene, and I lost my shit in an undignified and shameful way.
- I keep hearing all these rumors that they kicked Ianto off the show because they were trying to 'gay it down,' which is DISGUSTING. And would be very sinister, since RTD created Queer As Folk. Plus, you know, it would be HORRIBLE.
- What really gets me upset is that they didn't even DWELL ON IT in the last episode. Dude you love died, in your arms, at TWENTY-EIGHT FREAKING YEARS OLD, and you mention him in the list of everyone who's died on the show, including goddamn SUZIE? ARE YOU SERIOUS?! CAN SOMEONE FREAKING EMOTE HERE?!
I could say more, but I'm not going to. Suffice it to say, TEAM IANTO MAKES COFFEE. Fuckers.
Edit: I have just been informed by uber-fan and wise-person Antonella that Ianto was, in fact, 25. Two years older than me. Well, that just makes the whole thing SO MUCH WORSE. Need to go cry AGAIN, now, for obvious reasons.
V For Vendetta
* V: Don't kill me, but I kind of thought his death scene in the movie was better than in the book. Friends of mine remember this movie as 'the one where Elle locked herself in the bathroom and sobbed for half an hour after we watched it. Even though she'd seen it before. Repeatedly.' I think I have a weakness for characters who die thinking they just weren't good enough, or that they deserved death, after a lifetime of isolation and suffering and angst. Which says VOLUMES about my mental state, let me tell you.
Watchmen
* Rorschach: Well, hello there, Alan Moore. Are you here to twist my brain into tiny little balls of PAIN? That rhymed. Alan Moore has stated that he realized Rorschach would die while writing Watchmen. I did not pick up on this. It makes sense. I do understand it. I know he wouldn't have WANTED to live in Veidt's brave new world. I know that living would have meant sacrificing everything he was, and would have negated his very life's purpose. I know he was suicidal, and that he thought he was dirt too, and that he had a PLETHORA of personal issues, and that he was lonely and unhappy. I know part of the reason I adore him is that he's the only character in Watchmen who keeps their integrity. I know he told Manhattan to do it.
All that aside, there are few things more painful in the life of a fan than watching your favorite character, who has already suffered more than most people can even imagine, and who is almost universally despised (except by his army of fangirls) bet EXPLODED by a big blue naked dude who takes thirty-five minutes between lines. Except that in the comic, he dies alone, and NOBODY NOTICES THAT HE'S DEAD. At least in the movie - which had many flaws - his best friend is witness, and we get some owl rage.
The real crime is that there's so much lost. I know the mask ate his brain and all, but he was brilliant, and slyly funny, and had strong morals and principles. Rorschach is what we like to call layered, and that's what makes the loss so painful, and so iconic.
Exceptions To The Rule
* Burn Notice (Because if you kill Bruce Campbell, the terrorists win. Also a black hole will swallow the earth, and darkness will reign, and Spencer and Heidi will be declared the Rulers of Culture)
* Dollhouse (Although who thinks Topher is in trouble? Am I the only one? Topher is my second favorite, after Alpha.)
* Freakangels (Which, for me, has become a weekly exercise in DOES KARL LIVE?!)
* True Blood (Although I missed last weeks' episode, and if anything happens to Eric or Sam, I will be MIGHTILY annoyed. But perhaps not on the level of these characters, because... hm. I don't know. A character on True Blood has to die before I know how I'll react.)
That was very cathartic. I need a drink.
- LV
