Always Be Yourself, Unless You Suck.

Blog
* The world would be so much better if more people followed this simple rule. Title is from Joss Whedon.

* THE BLOG IS BEING UPDATED. THE FOURTH HORSEMAN IS SHOWING UP (actually, if you watch Supernatural, he already showed up, with pizza!). I will be explaining the long absence, but a lot of it is Super Sekrit At The Moment, so just pretend I have been busy knitting and touring the world and living a fabulous life of decadence. Or something.

Want
* Warren Ellis wants us to declare war on the moon:

If Stephen Hawking endorses this course of action, I'm ready to engage in battle. Provided I get a big shiny weapon.

Crafts
* I will be the first to admit I am bad at math. Unless it is algebra, which I am scary good at, numbers confuse and frighten me, and I think you should just figure out the bill, OK?
But even I, with my questionable grasp of simple arithmetic, see a problem here:

[Found at Regretsy]
So... it's $10.00 in money, prettily folded. But you're charging $20.00 PLUS shipping and handling? It's like a riddle. WHERE DOES THE EXTRA $10.00 go? Is this just a test? To see if someone would pay money FOR MONEY OF A LESSER AMOUNT?
I'm not even dealing with the fact that it's shaped like a cross. There's only so much I can handle.

Politics
* So, remember that politician Dave Vitter? And how he got off on wearing diapers around prostitutes?

[Found at Wonkette]
Nothing's going on with him. I just like to remind people that America has a United States Senator who enjoys wearing diapers for sexytimes. That's all. Carry on.

Ad!Fail
* In the following ad, a cucumber is hiding in the shower while a nakedish lady panics because her boyfriend/husband is going to walk in and find her fornicating with the salad:

[Found at LikeCool]
A few notes, dear readers:
A) OUCH.
B) EW.
C) All I can think is, does the cucumber have a penis, or is the woman pleasuring herself with anthropomorphic vegetables? Because the paramedics should be on call.
D) I have no interest in purchasing any product that assumes I want to get naked around fruits or vegetables. And now I'm afraid of salads. Well done.

Scary
* OH GOD IT'S COMING TO GET ME IT WON'T STOP NOTHING WILL STOP IT:

I FOR ONE WELCOME OUR NEW TERRIFYING OVERLORDS THAT CANNOT BE TIPPED OVER.
The longer you watch this video, the more upsetting it gets.

Social Networking
* Still, doesn't one get points for honesty?

[Found at Very Demotivational]
Not a lot of points.... but points.... I'm trying to be more positive, and YOU ARE NOT HELPING, INTERNET.

Daily Hot Guy

[Steve Carell, from the not-very-good movie Dan in Real Life, but he's wearing a sweater and plays guitar, and I quite possibly cried when he sang 'Let My Love Open The Door,' because I am an utter sap deep down, and now that I've admitted that I need to go think about violence and explosions and zombies for a while.]

Daily Icon

[Patti Smith, who is cooler than all of us could ever hope to be, COMBINED, with Robert Mapplethorpe, ALSO cooler than anyone could ever dare to hope to be. Man, this is the New York City I wanted to live in. The rest of you can live in Sex & The City. I'll be over here with the amazing people.]

Apocalypse How?
* Some people are working on technology that allows you to steer your car with your eyes. Can you imagine trying to apply mascara with this going on? Or checking out a hot guy? You could meet the hot guy AS YOU CRUSH HIM BELOW THE WHEELS OF YOUR VEHICLE.

And while the article is quick to point out this doesn't seem to be consumer-aimed, THINK ABOUT IT. 'Oh look, a puppy. It's so cute-OH DEAR GOD I CAN'T LOOK AWAY FROM ITS ADORABLE-' CRUNCH. Then you go to hell. The end.

Tattoo Of Win
* I'm not going to lie: I have no idea what's going on here.

[Found at Ugliest Tattoos]
I think it's better that way. Please don't explain it to me. Ignorance is bliss.

Nostalgia!Win
Let's end this on a happy note, shall we?

The Muppets make everything better. That is fact. Anyone found arguing with this fact will be shunned hideously by everyone they know and love.

Tonight is the Supernatural season finale. I'm very nervous. I will be discussing this via blog later. Be prepared.
- LV

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Hey, I Couldn't Help But Notice How Much You Look Like Everybody Else!

Blog
* Nothing attracts men more than being nondescript! Title is from Mystery Science Theater 3000.

* I blogged every day this month. I deserve a damn reward of some sort. REWARD ME.

Awesome
* This dude duct-taped his plane together to fly home:

[Found at Unique Daily]
THEN HE FLEW IT HOME. He flew home via the power of duct tape and his own mad genius. That is awesome, so long as I do not have to be IN the duct tape plane. I don't think I'd handle that well. I dislike regular planes. WIthout duct tape.

Fandom
* Russell T. Davies and Joss Whedon, the two men who most consistently break my heart via television, are merged into a glorious collaboration of credits:

AND NO ONE DIES, SIRS. YOU SEE HOW NICE IT IS WHEN YOU DON'T DESTROY EVERYTHING GOOD AND PURE? ....I'm sorry. I watched the series finale of Dollhouse. And I just purchased Torchwood: Children of the Earth. These men are NOT on my good side.

Food!Fail
* I love junk food. I do. I think White Castle is the height of fast food, and if it's unhealthy, I will probably be first in line to eat it.
Hand over the french fries, and most of you will live.

But I do not delude myself into thinking fast food is healthy. Of course it's not healthy. That's the POINT. It's like when I went to a baseball game and they listed the calories for every food item. NO ONE on the planet thinks that a deep fried cheese-filled pretzel is good for you. But it is delicious.

Which brings me to Taco Bell. Taco Bell is good, NOT good for you. Taco Bell is delicious and delightful, and I would NEVER in a million years imagine it as being healthful. SO DO NOT TRY, OK?

WHAT? NO. LET MY FAST FOOD BE UNHEALTHY. IF I WANT HEALTHY, I'LL GO ORDER A FREAKING BAKED POTATO AT WENDY'S.
Click here to see a longer commercial, with full-commentary by the ISS. I'm going to go deep fry some butter.

Technology
* I have a slogan for the good folks at iPad: "For that heavy flow.... of information, use an iPad!" (Please don't send Steve Jobs to turn off my computer, I need it).
And the mockery continues, indefinitely:

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

How can you NOT? Here's a name: iTab, It makes me think of the soda, but at least I don't immediately think of women's feminine products.

Politics
* I really, really like Jenny Sandford, soon-to-be-ex-wife of Mark 'I Cry When I Get Caught Being A Complete Shithead' Sandford. His wife is a smart, classy woman. She did not stand beside her husband while he spouted a torrential flow of bullshit, and CRIED (I'm sorry, but it cracks me up. You are lying to EVERYONE, and leaving your state, which needs you due to economic FREE-FALL, and you go off to bang your girlfriend, you get caught, and you cry? Dude. At least have the balls to man up.). Jenny Sandford focused instead on her sons', and her own well-being, and refused to be party to her husband's pity parade.

I do not agree with her on many issues (or any, I think), but she is a very smart lady with morals and ethics and a sense of self, and I would be delighted if more women like her joined the political arena. At this point, with the parties so divided and everyone freaking out at the opposite side, I think it would be a nice change to really respect the person you're debating.

PS Her husband is the Nite Owl of American politics. He cries naked in his Basement of Shame.

Daily Hot Guy

[Tom Felton from the Harry Potter series, looking every bit the smug, condescending bastard from high school that you hated so much you totally wanted to make out with him... or was that just me? Smug, condescending bastards are sexy, in an angry way. Admit it.]

Dollhouse
* Look, I'm upset about Dollhouse getting cancelled, too, but this is hardly the time to- Oh, forget it:

[Found at Emails From Crazy People]
Priorities? Anyone? No?

Daily Icon

[Patti Smith, punk rock poet, lover of Robert Mapplethorpe, singer supreme, writer, political activist, and one of my biggest heroes. If Ms. Smith saw what had become of CBGBs, she'd rain down eternal hellfire and damnation on everyone involved. Plus she totally covered a Bruce Springsteen song, and lived in Jersey for a time. SO JERSEY WINS HA.]

Nostalgia!Win
* Remember My So-Called Life? Back before I hated Claire Danes, and back when everyone wanted to lose their virginity to Jordan Catalano? Great show. Anyway, then Claire Danes made me hate her through excessive suck, and Jared Leto stopped bathing, which is something only CERTAIN people can pull off. But lo, a change has come:

[Found at World of Wonder]
His hair may have distinct hints of Twilight sparkle!fail, but you know what? His outfit reminds me of David Bowie, so I am going to pretend Jared Leto is going to play David Bowie in a movie. That's right, I'm starting an internet rumor. Spread the word.

Movie!Fail
* Dear Matt Dillion:

NO.
Love, LV
PS You rocked in To Die For!

Want
* SHELVES FROM THE FUTURE:

[Found at Like Cool]
Well, not from the future, but techno-cool, yes? I'd like them. I shall line them with books by Stephen Hawking (who is, in fact, god). TRUTH.

OK, it's Sunday, it's cold.... yeah. I got nothing.
- LV

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