Bruce Campbell Can Delete The Recycling Bin.

Life
* Yes, the LSATs are today, and I am keeping my fingers crossed for myself and my fellow test-takers. WE WILL BE FINE. Now let's all pretend it's just another day, shall we?

Zombies

[Found at GiveUpInternet]
This seems like a brilliant idea until you remember that zombies don't need to breathe, and can walk at the bottom of the ocean until they reach your fort, which by that time will be bereft of food, leaving you weak and vulnerable to an attack. THEN who's the smart one, hmmm? I mean, come on - how much food and supplies could you keep in those things?

Animals
* From the blog that brought you glow-in-the-dark puppies, I humbly present glow-in-the-dark monkeys.

[Found at TheWorldsBestEver]
Frankly, this is all cute and fuzzy animals now, but eventually the dude who keeps making animals glow in the dark will reach creepy animals like spiders or those giant centipedes, and then this shit will get REAL. Also, why don't we have glow-in-the-dark bats? How terrifying and AWESOME would that be? GIVE US BATS.

Quentin Tarantino
* David Carradine's death is becoming more morbid by the day, with the Thai press releasing the pictures of his body (which is all kinds of FUCKED UP) and someone is saying that ninjas killed him, and it's becoming rather bizarre. But, in the midst of grief there are some moments that may amuse you. So Quentin Tarantino, who you all know I love, going on Larry King and trying to explain that Carradine wouldn't kill himself, but not offering any other explanation for having a rope around his neck and genitals, is sort of funny in a sad way. Maybe Quentin should just stay off the TV until he decides what his story is going to be. For what it's worth, I'd rather Carradine had died having sex than being murdered. In one you're viciously killed. In the other you die, true, but at least you die happy, right? There's a video in the clip of Quentin trying to think before he speaks, with debatable results. I love you Quentin. With both loved David Carradine. But maybe there are better ways to honor his memory than implying the dude liked super-kinky sex. Just a suggestion.

YouTube Wonders

If you haven't seen this video, your life has not yet begun. If you HAVE seen this video, you know why seeing it again can only improve the quality of your existence. KITTY.

Depression Session
* I am terrified of flying. Not because of terrorists, or AirFrance, or any of that shit. I am panic-stricken and convinced that a tiny wire will fray, and the plane will DROP OUT OF THE SKY. I have flown to Europe a few times, and I will continue to fly to cool places, because I'm not going to let fear run my life. But I am not a good flier. I cry and drink a lot and take pills that don't work, and occasionally hyperventilate until the plane lands.
With that in mind, I sincerely hope I never have to fly on Ryanair, an airline that is going to charge you five pounds to use the bathroom. Of which there is one. Which, if I am ever on this plane, will be where I spend the entire flight, crying and drinking those tiny tequila bottles and rocking back and forth, refusing to come out of the lavatory. "I PAID MY MONEY, IT'S MY BATHROOM NOW." Yeah, that will be fun for everyone. I predict I will make many friends on this imaginary flight.

Russell Brand
* Here's is another video of Russell Brand. Because I have the LSATs today it's just another day. I want to be woken up like this. Every day. Forever.

Girly Shit
* I really do love Helena Bonham Carter. She's a supremely talented actress, and she's cool as hell, and she gave her children normal names, and she and Tim Burton are gentle souls from a far away land, and she is the scariest bitch EVER in the Harry Potter movies, and I sort of idolized her in Fight Club, and she dresses like a crazy lady, and I love her and want her to teach me the secrets of the universe.
Most importantly, she wears shoes like this:
[Found at GoFugYourself]
I want these shoes. I want to go through life on a bouncy cloud of plastic and wisdom. I want these to SWEEP THE NATION.

Got to go now. For stuff.
- LV

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To Begin

How do you introduce yourself? Are the facts I consider important really that significant? And how do I differ from thousands of other people out there, banging away at their keyboards with an inflated sense of their own self-worth?

Not as much as I'd like to imagine, probably. So let's get the basics out of the way.

I'm a twenty-one year-old female. I was born in New Jersey, and lived there for most of my formative years. I graduated from college last week [Eugene Lang, for anyone remotely interested]. I smoke. I drink. I live in the Financial District with my roommate, who is certifiable. I'm trying to make a career for myself as a journalist. I have a paid internship at a major publishing company as an Editorial Assistant in the children's department. I start in June.

I also like all the usual shit that people like: books, TV shows, movies, comics, serial killers, the impending zombie attack. I also like lists. I have lists for everything, from the usual shit [TV shows, movies, comics, food, children's names], to a few less common areas, like Fictional Characters I Would Tackle And Drag Into A Dark Alley To Violate and Most Inappropriate Things To Say On A First Date.

Fun factoid: all my children's names are for boys. So, if I'm ever insane enough to reproduce, I will most likely end up with a screaming passel of spoiled little girls demanding Bratz toys or Britney Spears records. Or whatever they'll have in those dark days of the future.

Anyway. I've started this blog to chronicle life post-college. I feel like it will be entertaining, at least to me. So far, nothing is different, except I'm procrastinating doing laundry instead of writing a paper on the cultural significance of dirt.

A few things I'm currently fixated on: Doctor Who, V For Vendetta, Will Christopher Baer, Watchmen, The Poughkeepsie Tapes, Quentin Tarantino, and Hunter S. Thompson [to be fair, I've been obsessed with Hunter S. Thompson and Quentin Tarantino since high school, but that's neither here nor there].

Stupid Things That Really Bug Me
1. When people spit.
2. Fake nails
3. Saying, 'bum a smoke.'
4. New York smoking laws.
5. The phrase, 'post-modern.'
6. People who iron their pillowcases.
7. Car alarms.
8. The fact that I have seen a picture of Britney Spears' vagina.
9. Ann Coulter's existence.
10. People who say, 'like' after every word.

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