Hey, I Couldn't Help But Notice How Much You Look Like Everybody Else!

Blog
* Nothing attracts men more than being nondescript! Title is from Mystery Science Theater 3000.

* I blogged every day this month. I deserve a damn reward of some sort. REWARD ME.

Awesome
* This dude duct-taped his plane together to fly home:

[Found at Unique Daily]
THEN HE FLEW IT HOME. He flew home via the power of duct tape and his own mad genius. That is awesome, so long as I do not have to be IN the duct tape plane. I don't think I'd handle that well. I dislike regular planes. WIthout duct tape.

Fandom
* Russell T. Davies and Joss Whedon, the two men who most consistently break my heart via television, are merged into a glorious collaboration of credits:

AND NO ONE DIES, SIRS. YOU SEE HOW NICE IT IS WHEN YOU DON'T DESTROY EVERYTHING GOOD AND PURE? ....I'm sorry. I watched the series finale of Dollhouse. And I just purchased Torchwood: Children of the Earth. These men are NOT on my good side.

Food!Fail
* I love junk food. I do. I think White Castle is the height of fast food, and if it's unhealthy, I will probably be first in line to eat it.
Hand over the french fries, and most of you will live.

But I do not delude myself into thinking fast food is healthy. Of course it's not healthy. That's the POINT. It's like when I went to a baseball game and they listed the calories for every food item. NO ONE on the planet thinks that a deep fried cheese-filled pretzel is good for you. But it is delicious.

Which brings me to Taco Bell. Taco Bell is good, NOT good for you. Taco Bell is delicious and delightful, and I would NEVER in a million years imagine it as being healthful. SO DO NOT TRY, OK?

WHAT? NO. LET MY FAST FOOD BE UNHEALTHY. IF I WANT HEALTHY, I'LL GO ORDER A FREAKING BAKED POTATO AT WENDY'S.
Click here to see a longer commercial, with full-commentary by the ISS. I'm going to go deep fry some butter.

Technology
* I have a slogan for the good folks at iPad: "For that heavy flow.... of information, use an iPad!" (Please don't send Steve Jobs to turn off my computer, I need it).
And the mockery continues, indefinitely:

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

How can you NOT? Here's a name: iTab, It makes me think of the soda, but at least I don't immediately think of women's feminine products.

Politics
* I really, really like Jenny Sandford, soon-to-be-ex-wife of Mark 'I Cry When I Get Caught Being A Complete Shithead' Sandford. His wife is a smart, classy woman. She did not stand beside her husband while he spouted a torrential flow of bullshit, and CRIED (I'm sorry, but it cracks me up. You are lying to EVERYONE, and leaving your state, which needs you due to economic FREE-FALL, and you go off to bang your girlfriend, you get caught, and you cry? Dude. At least have the balls to man up.). Jenny Sandford focused instead on her sons', and her own well-being, and refused to be party to her husband's pity parade.

I do not agree with her on many issues (or any, I think), but she is a very smart lady with morals and ethics and a sense of self, and I would be delighted if more women like her joined the political arena. At this point, with the parties so divided and everyone freaking out at the opposite side, I think it would be a nice change to really respect the person you're debating.

PS Her husband is the Nite Owl of American politics. He cries naked in his Basement of Shame.

Daily Hot Guy

[Tom Felton from the Harry Potter series, looking every bit the smug, condescending bastard from high school that you hated so much you totally wanted to make out with him... or was that just me? Smug, condescending bastards are sexy, in an angry way. Admit it.]

Dollhouse
* Look, I'm upset about Dollhouse getting cancelled, too, but this is hardly the time to- Oh, forget it:

[Found at Emails From Crazy People]
Priorities? Anyone? No?

Daily Icon

[Patti Smith, punk rock poet, lover of Robert Mapplethorpe, singer supreme, writer, political activist, and one of my biggest heroes. If Ms. Smith saw what had become of CBGBs, she'd rain down eternal hellfire and damnation on everyone involved. Plus she totally covered a Bruce Springsteen song, and lived in Jersey for a time. SO JERSEY WINS HA.]

Nostalgia!Win
* Remember My So-Called Life? Back before I hated Claire Danes, and back when everyone wanted to lose their virginity to Jordan Catalano? Great show. Anyway, then Claire Danes made me hate her through excessive suck, and Jared Leto stopped bathing, which is something only CERTAIN people can pull off. But lo, a change has come:

[Found at World of Wonder]
His hair may have distinct hints of Twilight sparkle!fail, but you know what? His outfit reminds me of David Bowie, so I am going to pretend Jared Leto is going to play David Bowie in a movie. That's right, I'm starting an internet rumor. Spread the word.

Movie!Fail
* Dear Matt Dillion:

NO.
Love, LV
PS You rocked in To Die For!

Want
* SHELVES FROM THE FUTURE:

[Found at Like Cool]
Well, not from the future, but techno-cool, yes? I'd like them. I shall line them with books by Stephen Hawking (who is, in fact, god). TRUTH.

OK, it's Sunday, it's cold.... yeah. I got nothing.
- LV

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Oh No. I Broke History.

Blog

* It's OK, Hiro. It was pretty much wrecked to begin with. Title is from Heroes. Before it became a joke.

* I want more pumpkins:

[Drawn by Erin]

This skill could also get you into the circus, maybe. Except for the clowns, I would love that.

TwiHate
* This is a picture. Of Edward Cullen. From Twilight. It costs $500.00:

[Found at Regretsy]

He looks like the love-child of Lestat and Snape with a really bad haircut.

Food!Fail
* My first thought upon seeing this picture was that the aliens look an awful lot like the blob. Then I found out that humans were expected to eat this:

[Found at This Is Why You're Fat]

It's a Twinkie casserole. I support Twinkies in all forms. ALL FORMS. They are delicious. But THESE Twinkies have been tortured and dumped into strawberry jello. That should be illegal. This is what I imagine certain ORGANS look like.

But it's called the Cosby Casserole. That's funny.

Politics
* Nancy Pelosi rockin' the crib with health care, ya'll.

* More information on naked Levi Johnston, sperminator of the eldest daughter of Palin. Naked naked naked! This is eternally amusing. And we might be getting all of Levi's Johnston. THAT was in poor taste. I apologize for finding this as funny as I do.

* For what it's worth, I do not think that you should get maternity leave if you aren't a mother. Yeah, I'm weird like that. But I WOULD like the day off, as I am coughing quite violently. Also a cookie.

Apocalypse How?
* You know what, Mr. Scientist Man? I DON'T want robots to take over the world. I am NOT OK with that. I'm not prepared for a robot apocalypse. Only zombies. The world would not be a better place if robots ran it. Robot zombies? OH WHY DID I EVEN THINK THAT?

Epic!Fail
* I have a bad cough today OH GOD IT MUST BE SWINE FLU SAVE ME. Oh, wait:

[Found at Neatorama]

Never mind, then.

Daily Hot Guy

[Tom Felton, from the Harry Potter series. Remember when he was a fat-headed little child? No, I don't like to remember that either. He's all angular now. I like angles. He was also really quite good in the Half-Blood Prince.]

Books
* I've never read Jonathan Safran Foer. Not as any ethical thing, I just had roommate who loved him, and all my teachers thought he was the be-all of modern writers, and I never got around to him. I might, one day.

So I have no issue with his writing. HOWEVER, if he's writing about not eating meat, I have many issues, because I GET IT. So enjoy this list of eleven things you could do instead of reading JSF's new book about not eating meat. I know I did.

Doctor Who

* I would like a copy of David Tennant's Hamlet, please. So I can compare it to Jude Law's Hamlet. And Mr. Tennant should act out the whole thing. For research, clearly.

[Found at David Tennant]

People I Love

* I know the episode already aired, but it's Tuesday and I don't feel good STILL, and isn't this getting to be a bit MUCH, and anyway, Nathan Fillion as Richard Castle from Castle DRESSED UP AS Captain Mal Reynolds from Firefly?

[Found at Topless Robot]

I think my geek organ (we all have one) exploded with joy. Also that's a sexy gun holster.

I have been sick way too much lately. Nathan Fillion and Bruce Campbell need to join forces and cure me. FOR JUSTICE.

- LV

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I Don't Have To Put Up With Your Misplaced Prepositions!

Blog
* You know what? Maybe you do. Maybe you do. Title is from Psych.

Tattoo Of Win
* I actually think this is a badass tattoo:

[Found at LOLTATZ]
But that doesn't mean it should be permanently burned into someone's skin. My judgement isn't always the best. What?

Moment Of Win

see more Fail Blog

Food
* This is NOT a bagel, which is too bad, because bagels are delicious and I miss Murray's Bagel shop in the city, and their lox, which was LIFE-CHANGING, and dammit, I just ate breakfast but now I want a bagel. Which this is not:

[Found at CakeSpy]
It is, in fact, a DOUGHNUT with cream-cheese frosting, and I want to make a shitload of these and not tell people what they really are, and see if they A) complain, or B) notice. But I'd eat them all, thus ruining the plan. Here's a recipe. Make some for me, OK?

Zombies
* So many people sent me this, but NAZI ZOMBIES. ZOMBIE NAZIS. BEST MOVIE EVAR.


Books
* Here's a great article on the Kindle debacle where they deleted books from people's Kindles, and everyone got angry, and now they're all trying to work together for the common good. Or something. I don't know. I'm sleepy. Is this decaf coffee? I don't know, I don't look, I just MAKE it. AND I miscounted the number of blank shirts I have. AND I need some Sharpies. And Spongebob is running around testing the slime viscosity of his pet snail. I can't find the batteries for the remote.
As far as all this goes, I'm just going to stick with real books, and also audio books, which is my new thing, if the author happens to be a deleriously sexy Welsh fellow.

Star Trek
* Apparently, I am very hungry today:

[Found at ONTD_StarTrek]
Zachary Quinto and I shall feast upon this glory, then go take over the world, because season two of Heroes is so problematic I cannot BEGIN to dissect it. I really would like to watch the movie again. It was really quite excellent.

Daily Hot Guy(s)

[Alan Rickman and Tom Felton from the Harry Potter series. This is why you always want to play with the bad guys. Because we get these fellas, and the good guys are stuck with Daniel Radcliffe, who seems like a fine young man, but really? No.]

Torchwood
* Sigh. They changed the covers for the new Torchwood books from gorgeous, Ianto covers to stupid Gwen covers:

[Found at a_silver_story]
I don't even have the energy to be angry anymore. I've been putting off finishing my Torchwood rewatch, because once it's done, I have to go back and watch Children of the Earth, because that's how my brain works, and I really don't want to be a sobbing, awful wreck over it again. At least not without proper alcohol cushioning of the system.
Joss Whedon may make me cry regularly, and consistently (but not in Dollhouse, yet, a fact that is now going to make me very nervous) but I never felt like he disrespected the characters. I never felt they were treated with anything but love, even when he was slaughtering them LEFT AND RIGHT. Russell T. Davies, you are not Joss Whedon. For so many reasons.

Inglourious Basterds
* So, by now we all know Christoph Waltz is going to get the Best Supporting Actor nomination for his terrifying, genius role as the Jew Hunter (and Jackie Earle Haley will get nominated for Best Actor, since he was the main character in Watchmen, and he should win because WTF for Little Children, he should have won for THAT, dammit, and then um... I don't know who should win for Best Actress. I'll get back to you) and Quentin Tarantino has publicly stated that if it weren't for Christoph Waltz gave him the movie, and I'm sort of inclined to agree, because he is the holding point, and he scares the SHIT out of me, and the strudel scene made me fear pastry. Here's an interview.

People I Love
* God DAMN, Seth Green:

[Found at WorldOfWonder]
I was going to write this whole long post on how much I loved you growing up, and how we're both short so we would be a cute couple, and how fun you are in everything, even utter shit, and how you were the only part of the movie It that didn't make me demented with fear, and how great you were in Can't Hardly Wait and Radio Days and Buffy, and how much I cried when Oz left the show, and I think Robot Chicken is a new sort of genius, and I wish you would work again with Joss Whedon, and basically how you are one of my longest crushes, if not intense and dramatic, consistent, one of those crushes that lasts forever, etc. etc.
But you know what? You look really good holding that gun. And Apparently, you get enough stupid questions.
So I say DAMN.

Stuff To Live
* Yeah, this should be free:

[Found at NerdApproved]
Because it's true. And you shouldn't have to pay for the truth. AIRTIGHT LOGIC.

Movie!Fail
* In high school, me and my friends went through a rabid phase wherein we all read Youth In Revolt numerous times, and essentially thought it was the greatest piece of literature in history. I don't know why. Because it's not that great, at all, and some parts are downright awful. I don't dislike the book, except for the discomfort I feel over our devotion. So the movie just... it does nothing for me at all. And I want Michael Cera to stop playing George Michael Bluth, unless he's IN the damn Arrested Development movie itself, AM I RIGHT?

Not feeling it. Sorry.

Jackie Earle Haley

[Found at JackieEarleHaleyFans]
I posted this to keep myself calm and not-upset when I read about all the awesome that 2010 will hold, and then realizing it is STILL 2009, and that Shutter Island got pushed back, and they still have the old date! WHY? But it's a cool interview, and the above picture soothes me so much.

Random
* OK, first of all, if you follow me on Twitter you get sneak peaks of all my stencil madness, which is why you should be following me on Twitter. The end. TOTE BAG OF WIN.

* Second of all: I found this autograph in my bag of autographs, and I have NO IDEA who it is from, because I am a bad person:

If you can help me identify this, I will reward you. Somehow. It is most likely a comic/movie/book person. That is not remotely helpful, is it?

* Finally, I cannot count. Or someone is stealing my shirts, which is ALARMING, because I only have three shirts and a tote, instead of four and a tote. So, I may go get more. I need more stencil paper, too. And Sharpies. These are my thoughts.
- LV

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Well At Least That Explains Why I Walked In On You Dancin' Around In That Laura Bush Mask Yesterday.

Blog
* Or DOES IT? Title is from True Blood.

Girly Shit
* This does not bode well. John Malkovich is making his own clothing line. First of all, Why? I mean, yes he wears clothes quite frequently, but otherwise John Malkovich isn't someone I'd associate with fashion. The man can wear a suit and all, but... really? Wait, this is his SECOND clothing line? And the new one is called Technobohemian? What is GOING ON? Someone send Cameron Diaz back into his head for further investigation. Because... I just don't get it. If my boyfriend was wearing anything by John Malkovich, I would pause. Also, why isn't he making something really weird? He's John goddamn Malkovich? He should be making filing cabinets with pictures of his thighs, for example. I don't know where that example came from.

Music
* Lady Gaga was in Maxim:

[Found at TheHollywoodGossip]
She looks great, and her tattoos are awesome, but I kind of wish she was wearing a muppet-themed outfit. Screw with their heads, Miss Gaga!

Technology
* It's a wee little counter that tells you how much your passengers should pay when you give them a ride in your car. This would be great as a subtle hint for my grandmother, who insists on me escorting her around in my car whenever she visits. 'Grandma, I love you and cherish our time together. But gas, grass, or ass, nobody rides for free. And I really don't want the last two from you. Look, I don't make the rules! It's technology:

[Found at DVICE]
Of course, it's in Japanese yen, and I have enough trouble remembering how much shit costs here, so I'd be lazy and just demand $1000 for a ten minute drive. Then the screaming would start.

Watchmen
* Naturally, I saw this thanks to Puina, who MADE it, which is even more mind-boggling than just FINDING it. HOW DOES SHE DO THESE THINGS?:

HOW she doesn't run her own country is a freaking mystery to me. Although then she'd have less time to kick ass on the internet, so I'm going to shut up now.

* World Peace Through Jackie Earle Haley. If you don't click that link and listen to the podcast, you HATE world peace. And that's just SICK.

Tattoo Of Win
* For those people who think I don't post things that upset/alarm/disgust me, I present this tattoo:

[Found at LOLTATZ]
I don't know you, but I think I hate you. Yes, I still like Green Day. Leave me alone. I'm very sleepy.

Food
* NASA invented some shitty Gatorade-type drink:

[Found at CrunchGear]
Now, someone at NASA fucked up meters versus feet, and destroyed a multi-million dollar space thing. I'm not drinking ANYTHING they're involved with. Also, I am not an elite athlete. I'm not even an athlete. Moving is highly overrated. I drink fluids because I'm thirsty, not because I ran five miles. Thirsty from watching Torchwood and crying, or True Blood and drooling. THOSE are my exercises. And yelling. Lots of yelling.

Daily Hot Guy

[Tom Felton, who plays Draco Malfoy in the Harry Potter series. Dude GREW UP. DAMN.]

Words of Win

[Found at PassiveAggressiveNotes]

Books
* This is true:

see more Funny Graphs
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go cry and drink until I can't feel feelings, or my lungs.

Harry Potter
* So, I saw Twilight last night:

see more Lol Celebs
Yeah. It WAS that bad. Although Peter Facinelli is banging hot. And there was one sexy moment. BUT THAT WAS NOT ENOUGH. NOT ENOUGH AT ALL. I NEED TO SOAK MY BRAIN IN TEQUILA AND JACKIE EARLE HALEY'S ARMS. Sorry. I promised I wouldn't do this. I respect other people's taste and opinion. Even when they suck.

Star Trek

[Found at ONTD_StarTrek]
I love macros. And you KNOW this is canon. More here. Including Serenity ones!

Doctor Who
* Oh, look, someone who died on Doctor Who is COMING BACK AND FINE. Is THAT dishonoring the character, Russell T. Davies? IS THAT UNDERMINING THE GREAT DEATH SCENE? I'M NOT YELLING. NOT YELLING AT ALL. I'M NOT UPSET. WHY DON'T YOU KILL THE DOCTOR, AND WE CAN SPEND AN HOUR EACH WEEK STARING AT THE VAST EMPTINESS OF SPACE, YOU MEAN LITTLE MAN?

....I forgot what I was yelling about. If Ianto was in this, I would be dead from the happies. DEAD I SAYS. Give thanks to BossMew, who found a link that didn't require technological knowledge to share, and Larissa, who showed me the original. If they joined forces, they could destroy MOUNTAINS. But they wouldn't. That would be RUDE.

People I Love
* I would marry David Cross.

The Pre-Taped Call-in Show from Mr. Show - watch more funny videos

You would, too. POLYGAMY WIN!

Why does coffee not love me as I love it? I will drink it until I win its affections.
- LV

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