Are You A Philosopher? Where's Your Sponge?

Blog
* I keep it in my other bathtub. Title is from Small Gods by Terry Pratchett.

* Megan updated her blog, and seriously, do not fuck with this girl's computer. Really. Oh, and now LFO is stuck in my head, so I'm buying the new Muse CD to cancel it out, and I hope you're happy.

* Erin sums up the troll situation perfectly:
Trolls: Making the Internet Stupid Since Al Gore Invented It.

FREAKANGELS FRIDAY
* It is Friday, which means Warren Ellis, Sin God Of The Northern Front, has deigned to drop down upon his unworthy followers and deliver unto us the newest edition of FREAKANGELS. It's still raining in Whitechapel, and Karl is alive (BUT FOR HOW LONG?!) and since it is Friday, that means I must wear my FREAKANGELS shirt, to celebrate this weekly occurrence of glory. As always, I won't read this weeks' installment until I write this blog. I am such a good person.

Did I mention Mr. Ellis tweeted me? Yes. I am now a valid human being. FINALLY.

Stuff To Live
* A wooden ruler with an electronic display?

[Found at LikeCool]
Sweet. I could use this to design my T-Shirts. It's Friday, I'm nowhere NEAR awake, let me drink more coffee before I am at normal snark levels.

Sequel!Fail
* This could be a remake fail OR a sequel fail, but Rob Zombie's Halloween series has gone on such a cracky, terrible path that I have decided it doesn't have anything to do with the original.
I'll admit, I didn't see Halloween 2. I saw the remake. Michael Myers does not just need a hug. He wasn't misunderstood. Way to RUIN an iconic horror character.
But things are getting worse for the Halloween franchise. The second one didn't do very well. So obviously they won't make any more, right? WRONG. Halloween 3D is coming out in 2010. But no Rob Zombie. I'd say it could only get better, but A) 3D (which is NOT a good reason to make a third movie), and B) The way they're going, they'll hire Uwe Boll.

Jackie Earle Haley
* Here's an oldish interview about A Nightmare On Elm Street. We NEED new things, Mr. Haley. Shutter Island was PUSHED BACK *cries*. Just, I don't know, give an interview about Human Target. I'm very excited about that show.

* Ah, I should have gone to the premiere of Watchmen:

[Found at Zimbio]
For.... the buttons. Yes. Yes, let's go with that.

Daily Hot Guy

[Ralph Fiennes. It's pronounced Rae, not Ralf. OK? He said it in an interview, and I think he knows how to pronounce his own name, dammit. Let's not argue. Let's stare at him, and make jokes about his last name and how appropriate it is.]

Geek Want
* I am not kidding, I actually screamed, 'Oh my god, I need this!' when I opened this link:

[Found at NerdApproved]
But what is it, you ask? Oh, you fools. It is a Wallace & Gromit Snack Time Alarm. It feeds you delicious snacks, with technology designed by Wallace! But slowly, so you will really appreciate your treat. I'll take ten.

Awesome
* Erin sent me this, to convince me that even David Caruso has a purpose in this crazy, mixed-up world:

YEAHHHHHH.

Well, I had more posted, and it was INDEED brilliant. But then we had a power surge, so it all went away. So you have to suffer. Going to read FREAKANGELS now, then go to work.
- LV

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR THIS WEEKS' FREAKANGELS BELOW.
DUDE. DUDE. I can't get over how much I love the art in this series. It's lush and beautiful and DENSE, and graphic without being exploitative, and I love it. And I know people have issues with Ellis' plots and female characters (I don't, but that's me) but FUCK, he has made some interesting characters. Luke is a bastard. And I sort of love that about him. Except for the rape. That shit is never OK. And Kait is going to be ANGRY when she finds out about this. I do not want to see Kait angry. That is frightening. So, so frightening.

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Bruce Campbell Once Visited The Virgin Islands. They Are Now The Islands.

Blog
* Burn Notice is back on this week, right? Right?

Geek Want
* Normally I don't encourage drinking, because when I drink I tend to make a fool of myself and get escorted off the premises, like Courtney Love (without the heroin). However:

[Found at NerdApproved]
I've been drinking all morning. I'm drunk right now. And by 'drunk,' I mean, 'injecting coffee because I need to wake up and go to work soon, and drooling on the keyboard is frowned upon. But truth in advertising win. I want someone to take a nip of this before a big gang fight. That would be SWEET.

Politics
* Does anyone else think that maybe Sean Hannity has a little crush on Sarah Palin? And by 'little crush' I mean, 'deep, twisted, erotic obsession the likes of which we have not yet seen and may indeed swallow us all in a black pit of lust.' Did you see the video of these two in the woods? The dude LIKES her, and not in the wholesome way. So his article defending Ms. Palin's cut and run from her job needs to be read in sonorous, seductive tones, out loud, to a frightened and confused family member. And frankly, I agree that abruptly quitting your job because it's too hard does not really earn you a lot of credit. It's like deciding that playing 'Operation' is too stressful, then announcing you're going to be a brain surgeon.

WTF, INTERNET?
* I know I said I wouldn't post any more of these. I KNOW. I remember. But it's Tuesday, which is Monday if you had Monday off, and I'm in a bout of serious insomnia, and I finished my book yesterday and have hundreds of pages of editing to do, and frankly, it's my damn blog AND YOU AIN'T THE BOSS OF ME. Sorry. It's only coffee number two. Um, with all that in mind, here is a hand-carved leather toilet seat lid:

[Found at BoingBoing]
So what's sadder? Ordering one of these? Or sitting at home carving them? I mean, at least if you're the carver you're getting paid. I think the saddest bit would be telling people, 'Have you seen my toilet? The lid is hand-carved leather!' and waiting for enthusiasm that will NEVER COME. This actually rather aggravates me. WHY WOULD YOU SPEND MONEY ON THIS? I have NEVER been in a house and thought, 'The decor just SCREAMS for some carved leather toilet seats.' I know, I'm weird like that.

Movie!Win
* The new G.I. Joe movie is going to be awful. It has to be. Even the trailer makes me feel mildly depressed, for the most part. I have no illusions that it will be like Tranformers 2, only more so, but without Megan Fox making me wish I wasn't of the same gender, and Michael Bay making me wish I wasn't of the same species. So why, you ask, is this under Movie!Win?
Two words: Christopher Eccleston. Why he's IN this movie I do not know, nor do I WANT to know. It saddens me. Why doesn't he go back to Heroes and beat the shit out of Peter Petrelli again, for the good of the world? I enjoyed that. Or call Danny Boyle and convince him to make a movie that you could be in, like Shallow Grave. I AM NOT EVEN GOING INTO DOCTOR WHO BECAUSE I WILL CRY AND NOTHING WILL GET DONE, EVER. The point is, he is deliciously snarky in this trailer and I want him bad:

DID YOU SEE THE BIT WHERE HE GLARED AT YOU AND SAID THE WORDS? I am going to go see this movie, in theaters. When he is onscreen I will be rapt and silent. When he is offscreen I will loudly yell, 'Where's Christopher Eccleston?' until he comes back on, or the authorities are called, whichever comes first.

Animals

I want an army of these. Together we will save Christopher Eccleston from his evil agent, or whoever makes all major life choices for him.

Daily Hot Guy

[Ralph Fiennes, who thanks to movies like Red Dragon, the Harry Potter series, and even Schindler's List, has made an entire generation feel profoundly uncomfortable about being attracted to him]

Apocalypse How?
* I will be so humiliated if Swine Flu ultimately kills us all off. It's not a sexy disease. Like the disease of sexy I just invented, right now. And it doesn't turn anyone into zombies, it just makes you sick and sometimes dead. That's no fun. I mean, really, I kind of hope there's no afterlife, because having to explain to all the other dead people, 'I was killed by Swine Flu' will be so demeaning. Anyway, there's a drug-resistant case of Swine Flu, meaning it's getting stronger, and we're all going to die and it will be AWKWARD, the end.

Doctor Who
* First, a picture of the present Doctor:

[Found at Wired]
He is a tall drink of water, is he not? Just because my heart belongs to Nine in NO WAY implies that I do not desperately love Ten, and am very, VERY sad he's leaving. But did you hear there may be a Doctor Who movie? That doesn't suck like the one from the nineties, that I still have not seen in its entirety because I am from America, where everything FAILS? And Tennant will play the Doctor in movies, but the New Guy (he hasn't EARNED a name yet) will be on the TeeVee, and there will ALMOST be enough Doctor in the world to satisfy me? THIS HAS GOT TO BE TRUE BECAUSE I NEED IT TO BE TRUE? There's an awful lot of Doctor-related screaming this morning, isn't there?

Zombies
* This movie contains both zombies and mobsters:

Beyond that I know nothing about this movie. Nor do I care. Zombies and dudes with guns? 'I'll make him an offer he can't BRAAAAAAAINS.'

Girly Shit
* I don't usually use lip pencil, because I am utterly convinced that no matter how carefully I blend, I will end up looking like one of those women who lines their lips with a dark color then fills it with a totally different color, and everyone has to actively try not to stare at their freaky-looking lips. But I may try these, because Urban Decay is a throwback to my high school days of blue hair and a tongue piercing, and while I don't MISS those times, AT ALL, it is nice to know that it wasn't so long ago that all my makeup brands are out of business.

Music
* This is a really fucking gorgeous picture of Jimi Hendrix:

[Found at TheWorldsBestEver]
I have nothing to add besides that. And really, it's Hendrix. Soak up the glory.

Technology
* This car can go in the water AND on the land.

[Found at DVICE]
I can't honestly say why anyone would need a car that goes in the water, and remember that Doctor Who episode where the cars trapped everyone inside and poisoned everyone, and they died? Yeah, well, it would be even worse underwater. Although (always think, I am) it would make escaping zombies easier, provided there was water and you wanted to use it to escape, and also you didn't run out of gas at the bottom of the lake, because BOY, would your face be red.

Food
* My friends from Vegan Radio, who fed me this weekend and thus earned my eternal affection (I want more blueberry pancakes, NOW) sent me this link, about how not all alcohol is vegan. This is useful also if you're a vegetarian, or just find the idea of drinking fish scales to be really, really alarming. It never occurred to me that a cider could be non-vegetarian. I eat meat, (as we all know) but I like to KNOW that I'm ingesting meat. So I may use this site. Plus, it's a good conversation starter. It's also a little funny, how some of these companies have no idea if their product is vegan-friendly. How do you NOT KNOW what is in your product? That's like going to the salad bar and someone saying, 'Well, there MAY be trace amounts of peanuts that are coated in salmonella, but we don't know, would you like a free soda with your order?'

Watchmen
* Yesterday I was reminded why I love Twitter, in no small part due to a conversation about Zack Snyder than involved zombies, ninjas, pasties, & road trips and shirtless Jackie Earle Haleys. So let us all sit quietly and listen to Zack Snyder's mellifluous voice as he explains about Watchmen, 300, Sucker Punch, and cleverly AVOIDS ADMITTING THAT THE BLU-RAY PEOPLE HAVE TAKEN HIS FAMILY HOSTAGE. Sorry. I'm upset about Blu-Ray. Zack Snyder's hot. There, I said it. Zack Snyder + Jackie Earle Haley = Fangirl Squee. There are Video Clips in this link.

Told you. Not that I just spent ten minutes I don't have looking for a picture of just JEH and Zack Snyder sitting together talking about Watchmen or anything. That would be sick and wrong.

Now I'm late for work.
- LV

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