I Feel Sick [No, Not Really. I Just Happened To Glance At My Comic With That Name]

Finished Voices of a People's History Of The United States last night. It made me want to go start a revolution against corruption and evil, to write articles that would change the world. Instead, I just went to bed.

Today seems to be a day of people whining at me. My roommate is babbling about how she fell asleep during sex, and her boyfriend continued to erm... yeah. I laugh viciously at her pain, because I am a bad person. And she puts on makeup to go to the gym, which I think is a sure sign of pure, unmitigated evil. I mean, MASCARA?

I start my job tomorrow, and I'm kind of nervous. A few reasons:
* I am not a morning person, and I have to be up, showered, and looking relatively like a human being in order to head out the door by 8:15 AM. Which means I'll be up by 7:00 AM. I had trouble getting up for noon classes.
* Since the video store where I worked closed last summer, I haven't had a steady job, besides the occassions where I would play receptionist for my father at his office. Which basically entailed me answering the phones and reading all day.
* I really, really need this to go well so that I can either get a full-time job at this company, or they can at least refer me to someplace where I can write.
* I also need to start freelancing. I have like no clips.

To make up for the whining I just subjected everyone to [whoever may be out there... helloooooo?], I humbly offer another list which mayhap will tickle thy fancy.

Movies I Have Cried At That Aren't Sad At All, And Make Everyone Around Me Uncomfortable
1. Independence Day
2. Benny & Joon
3. Matchstick Men
4. 8 Mile
5. Spider-Man 3 [Which I HATED, otherwise]
6. The 40 Year-Old Virgin
7. Armageddon [fuck you, EVERYONE cried]
8. Serenity
9. 28 Days Later...
10. Shaun Of The Dead
11. Kill Bill: Volume 2
12. The Big Lebowski
13. Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
14. Secretary
15. Brazil

Once again, this does not bode well for my mental stability. Stay tuned for my next post, which will be about work, martial arts, and a list of movies where I laughed at the tragic ending, because I sold my soul for some Ruffles and a really cool throw rug.

Luckman: Well! So much for our great trip to San Diego, Bob. I TOLD you we should have gone to San Francisco.
Barris: What, like going to San Francisco would NOT have caused this problem with the engine?
Luckman: Yeah, because when you're going north, it screws this way, and when you're going south it screws that way!
Barris: If we were in AUSTRALIA!
- A Scanner Darkly

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Insert Clever Title

On Friday I'm going to a comic signing with my friends Aye and Kaye. Garth Ennis will be there. And I will be there. We will be breathing the same air. Also, the co-creator of Transmetropolitan will be there, although I'm currently having a brain-fart and can't remember his name. Now, if Warren Ellis was going to be there, I'd be rushing out to get a Spider Jerusalem tattoo. Or not. I dislike pain. And needles. And strangers.

I'm reading Howard Zinn's, Voices Of A Peope's History of the United States. Current thoughts? Politically, we're in the same situation we were during the civil war. Only I like Abraham Lincoln a lot more than George W. Bush. I mean, one helped to end slavery. The other choked on a pretzel. Yes, I'm oversimplifying. But it's OK, because I'm funny.

Yeah, I'm still in New Jersey. I've been very busy sleeping, reading, and arguing with my mother over whether or not I'm allowd to say 'fuck' in the house. I yell a lot about freedom of speech and the press. Doesn't work.

I watched House with my mom last night. And I noticed something: there are like NO shows that feature brilliant, eccentric women, unless they're treated as a joke. That's kind of depressing. On the plus side, House is a dick and I love him.

And I'm sure I'll regret this later, but I actually think the new Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer movie looks kind of entertaining. I didn't say good.

Here are some life lessons my friends and I have imparted on each other through the years. May they help you in your journeys.

* People make stains.

* In the Financial District, nobody can hear you scream.

* Food should not glow in the dark.

* Armpit hair is like the softest hair on the body.

* Stepping in another person's saliva is NEVER lucky.

* If you know what a fluffer is before you're fourteen, you never had a childhood.

I'm watching Spongebob Squarepants at the moment. My brain cells are dying on mass. It's like a mental genocide.

'Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the Coalition of the Willing. Or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain.'
- Jon Stewart

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