Alan Moore Does Not Sleep. He Waits.

Watchmen Quotes: Minutemen Quotes, General Quotes
Note: This covers the Minutemen, and all the other random crap that didn't fit into any other category. Tomorrow is Rorschach, Part II (which may require as many as 4 parts, because I HAVE TOO MUCH). So. Yes, enjoy. PS Mothman was the bestest of the Minutemen. PPSS Nite Owl's short shorts are amazing.

Comic
* Janey Slater: Some things, once they're busted, they can't ever be fixed.

* Big Figure: You're alone in the valley of the shadow, Rorschach, where your past has a long reach, and between you and it there's one crummy lock. Think about it.

* Dr. Malcolm Long: I looked at the Rorschach blot. I tried to pretend it looked like a spreading tree, shadows pooled beneath it, but it didn’t. It looked more like a dead cat I once found, the fat, glistening grubs writhing blindly, squirming over each other, frantically tunneling away from the light. But even that is avoiding the real horror. The horror is this: In the end, it is simply a picture of empty meaningless blackness. We are alone. There is nothing else.

* Detective Steve Fine: Hello? Yeah, Detective Fine speaking. A tip? Sure. What's your name...? No name, huh? Okay, that's acceptable. So what do you have? Raw what? Did you just say "shark"? Raw shark? Why should I want to know where to find... raw shark. Okay. Yeah, I know who we're talking about. Now where...? Okay. Got that. When will he be there? Is he...? Yeah. Understood. We're on our way. 'Bye.

* I never said, "The superman exists, and he's American." What I said was,"God exists, and he's American."

* No, I don't… Well, let me say this, for me, it was never a sex thing. It was a money thing. And I think for some people it was a fame thing, and for a tiny few, God bless 'em, I think it was a goodness thing. I mean, I'm not saying it wasn't a sex thing for some people, but, no, no, I wouldn't say that's what motivated the majority…

I actually couldn't find any movie quotes that weren't already in the comic, and better. Anyway, IMAGES. Some are Minutemen, some are just Watchmen, and ALL are WONDERFUL:






WHY was this not meant to be?! WHHHYYYY?! *Cries for Hollis and his Short Shorts*

















I know that I already HAD Veidt day, but this is so funny and he is so damn CROSS and MIFFED in this picture that I do not care.


This video may have made me cry. Or throw up. Or start a new religion. I admit to NOTHING.


This may be the funniest site ever devoted to Watchmen. And it's got NOTHING - no fancy karate gimmicks. It just has HILARIOUSOSITY. Yeah, I invented a new word JUST for this site. I went there.

This MORE than makes up for the Suck of my Silk Spectre post. I deserve cookies. And full points. And Russell Brand. Now.

More later.
- LV

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Gravity Only Affects Alan Moore For Six Hours Out Of Every Day.

Watchmen Quotes: Silk Spectre II Quotes
Note: I have like NOTHING on Laurie. I looked, I really did. Nobody feels the need to be all crazy about her, because she is fairly sane and BORING. I don't dislike her. By default I dislike her, because I like so many of the other characters so much more, but on her own she's a pretty cool chick. Anyway, I'd probably want to knife her if she liked Rorschach, so maybe that's for the best. Here is all I could find on Laurie. I'm sorry, Fans of Laurie, but I DID MY BEST.

Comic
* Oh shit. I'm on Mars.

Movie
* I am not afraid.

* Rorschach: Need to visit men's room.
Laurie: Oh, Christ!

I know, I know. BUT THIS IS EVERYTHING. THIS IS IT. STOP GLARING. HERE ARE SOME PICTURES, OK?!











I'm just saying, if you guys had sent me some images/quotes, this post wouldn't be so TRAGICALLY short. It's YOUR fault, not MINE. Rorschach said so. And if you disagree, that little ginger vigilante will KNIFE you.

Also, never go to a comic book store on Magic: The Gathering Game Day. Just don't. Trust me.

Anyway, next Watchmen post (possibly today, because I am GUILT-RIDDEN about the size of this post, see what you do to me?) will be Minutemen/everything else I couldn't categorize, then another Rorschach post of JOY.

Also, does anyone know how to get into writing comics? NOT THAT I AM FOOLISH ENOUGH TO THINK I COULD DO THAT. My friend wants to know. Yes.
- LV

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Alan Moore Can Solve A Rubik's Cube In One Move.

Watchmen Quotes: Rorschach Quotes
Note: IT HAS BEGUN. This is only part one, my friends, because Rorschach is the pinnacle of human achievement, and all of society and evolution exists only so he could be wrought from the pen of Alan Moore. Wouldn't it be funny if that were true? If God, if there was such a being, was all, 'Cool. Rorschach exists, I can read about his adventures... What? NOOOOOOOOOOO WHY RORSCHACH WHY?! That's it. Smiting the SHIT out of this species.' Or maybe not. I don't need to go into a real note about Rorschach, do I? I love him. I think he's flawed and complex and endlessly fascinating, and his morals are admirable while his actions and opinions usually aren't. I got a tattoo of his symbol, to remind myself to stand up for what I believe in and not to be afraid or apologize for who I am. Somewhere in England, Alan Moore is plotting my grisly and extremely slow death.

Comic
* None of you understand. I'm not locked up in here with you. You're locked up in here with me.

* This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face.

* You know what I wish? I wish all the scum of the Earth had one throat and I had my hands about it.

* Soon there will be war. Millions will burn. Millions will perish in sickness and misery. Why does one death matter against so many? Because there is good and there is evil, and evil must be punished. Even in the face of Armageddon I shall not compromise in this. But there are so many deserving of retribution ... and there is so little time.

* Bernie: I see the world didn't end yesterday.
Kovacs: Are you sure?

* You keep calling me Walter. I don't like you.

* Give me smallest finger on man's hand. I'll produce information. Computer unnecessary.

* Shock of impact ran along my arm. Jet of warmth spattered on chest, like hot faucet. It was Kovacs who said "Mother" then, muffled under latex. It was Kovacs who closed his eyes. It was Rorschach who opened them again.

* Gun. No license. I checked. Very bad.

* Don't worry. Won't insult legendary underworld solidarity by suggesting you surrender name without torture.

* Stood in firelight, sweltering. Bloodstain on chest like map of violent new continent. Felt cleansed. Felt dark planet turn under my feet and knew what cats know that makes them scream like babies in night. Looked at sky through smoke heavy with human fat and God was not there. The cold, suffocating dark goes on forever and we are alone. Live our lives, lacking anything better to do. Devise reason later. Born from oblivion; bear children, hell-bound as ourselves, go into oblivion. There is nothing else. Existence is random. Has no pattern save what we imagine after staring at it for too long. No meaning save what we choose to impose. This rudderless world is not shaped by vague metaphysical forces. It is not God who kills the children. Not fate that butchers them or destiny that feeds them to the dogs. It’s us. Only us. Streets stank of fire. The void breathed hard on my heart, turning its illusions to ice, shattering them. Was reborn then, free to scrawl own design on this morally blank world. Was Rorschach. Does that answer your questions, Doctor?

* By the way, you need a stronger lock. That new one broke after one shove.

* No. Not even in the face of Armageddon. Never compromise.

* The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "Save us!"... and I'll look down and whisper "No." They had a choice, all of them. They could have followed in the footsteps of good men like my father or President Truman. Decent men who believed in a day's work for a day's pay. Instead they followed the droppings of lechers and communists and didn't realize that the trail led over a precipice until it was too late. Don't tell me they didn't have a choice. Now the whole world stands on the brink, staring down into bloodly Hell, all those liberals and intellectuals and smooth-talkers... and all of a sudden nobody can think of anything to say.

* Dan: Maybe this was a political killing?
Rorschach: Maybe. Or maybe someone's picking off costumed heroes.
Dan: Um. Don't you think that's maybe a little paranoid?
Rorschach: That's what they're saying about me now? That I'm paranoid?

* Rorschach: Used to come here often, back when we were partners.
Dan: Oh. Uh, yeah... yeah, those were great times, Rorschach. Great times. Whatever happened to them?
Rorschach: You quit.

* Happy Harry the Bartender: Ruh. Ror. Ror. Rorschach! Har Har How are ya doin', fella?
Rorschach: I'm fine, Happy Harry. Yourself?
Happy Harry: Fine! I'm fuh, I'm fine! And I'm, and I'm, and I'm glad you're fine too! And uh, and uh... Oh God. Please don't kill anybody.

* He stood up for his country, Veidt. Never let anyone retire him. Never cashed in on his reputation. Never set up a company selling posters and diet books and toy soldiers based on himself. Never became a prostitute. If that makes him a Nazi, you might as well call me a Nazi, too.

* Dr. Long: Hello, Rorschach. How are you today?
Rorschach: In prison. Yourself?

* Other people, down in cells. Behavior more extreme than mine. You don't spend any time with them...but then, they're not famous. Won't get your name in the journals. You don't want to make me well. Just want to know what makes me sick. You'll find out. Have patience, Doctor. You'll find out.

* Visited underworld bars and began hurting people. Put fourteen in hospital needlessly. Fifteenth gave me an address.

* Dog. Dog with head split in half.
Dr. Long: And, uh. What do you think split the dog's head. In half.
Rorschach: I did.

* Larry: We got a jail full of guys out here who hate your guts. What in hell do you got?
Rorschach: Your hands. My perspective. Note: This line change in the movie bothered me more than any else, and I do not know why.

*Big Figure: We'ere gonna cut through there and then that bastard's gonna find out what the Score is!
Rorschach: One-nothing. Your move. Come and get me.

* Rorschach: There. Did what had to be done. Can leave now.
Laurie: Really? Are you sure? We don't want to get too reckless and go diving headfirst into things!
Rorschach: Hurm. Good advice. Sure there are many who would agree with you.

* Rorschach: Gloves. Hat. Shoes. There, think that's everything we-
Mrs. Shairp: Oh God! I- it's... oh God, what are you doing here? I... look, please, I don't want any trouble, okay? I...
Rorschach: Mrs. Shairp. Long time no see. Told press I'd made sexual advances to you. Not true. Very bad.
Mrs. Shairp: No! I never said that! I got misquoted! Oh God, please don't...
Nite-Owl: Rorschach? Come on, man... leave it.
Rorschach: Can't. Slur on reputation. Serious business. How much did they pay you to lie about me, whore?
Mrs. Shairp: Oh please, don't say that. Not in front of my kids... please. They... they don't know.
Rorschach: Got what we came for. Finished here now. Let's go. Note: One of two scenes it was inexcusable to cut from the film, even though I understand the decision logistically. Every fan seems to find this a true sin against the comic.

* Doctor Manhattan: Where are you going?
Rorschach: Back to owlship. Back to America. Evil must be punished. People must be told.
Doctor Manhattan: Rorshach... you know I can't let you do that.
Rorschach: Huhhh... of course. Must protect Veidt's new utopia. One more body amongst foundations makes little difference. Well? What are you waiting for? Do it.
Doctor Manhattan: Rorshach...
Rorschach: Do it!

* Beneath me, this awful city, it screams like an abattoir full of retarded children. New York. Somebody knows why. Down there... somebody knows. The dusk reeks of fornication and bad consciences. I believe I shall take my exercise.

* 42nd Street: Women's breasts draped across every billboard, every display, littering the sidewalk. Was offered Swedish love and French love, but not American love. American love; like Coke in green glass bottles, they don't make it anymore.

* Meeting with Veidt left bad taste in mouth. He is pampered and decadent, betraying even his own shallow, liberal affectations. Possibly homosexual? Must remember to investigate further.

* Paid last respects quietly, without fuss. Edward Morgan Blake. Born 1924, forty-five years a Comedian, died 1985, buried in the rain. Is that what happens to us? A life of conflict with no time for friends… so that when it's done, only our enemies leave roses.

* Away down alley, heard woman scream, first bubbling note of city's evening chorus. Approached disturbance. Attempted rape/mugging/both. Cleared throat. The man turned and there was something rewarding in his eyes. Sometimes, the night is generous to me.

* Waiting for a flash of enlightenment in all this blood and thunder. Note: Favorite line.

* If reading this now, whether I am alive or dead, you will know truth. Whatever precise nature of this conspiracy, Adrian Veidt responsible. Have done best to make this legible. Believe it paints disturbing picture. Appreciate your recent support and hope world survives long enough for this to reach you, but tanks are in East Berlin, and writing is on wall.

* For my own part, regret nothing. Have lived life, free from compromise ... and step into the shadow now without complaint.

Movie
* Never compromise. Not even in the face of Armageddon. That's always been the difference between us, Dan.

* Give me back my face!

* Men go to jail. Dogs get put down. Note: Rorschach was bitten as a child.

* You see, Doctor, God didn't kill that little girl. Fate didn't butcher her and destiny didn't feed her to those dogs. If God saw what any of us did that night he didn't seem to mind. From then on I knew... God doesn't make the world this way. We do.

* We were meant to exact justice! Everyone's gonna know what you've done...

* Keep your own secrets...

* Rorschach: Out of my way. People have to be told.
Jon Osterman: You know I can't let you do that.
Rorschach: Suddenly you discover humanity. Convenient. If you'd cared from the start, none of this would've happened.
Jon Osterman: I can change almost anything... but I can't change human nature.
Rorschach: Of course, you must protect Veidt's new Utopia. One more body amongst foundations makes little difference. Well, what are you waiting for? Do it... DO IT! Note: Makes me cry, in both versions. IT'S ALL JON AND VEIDT'S FAULT.

Detective Fine: This is the police, we know you're in there.
Rorschach: No! No!
Detective Fine: If there's anybody in there with you, send 'em out unharmed.
Rorschach: No! No, no, no, no!
Detective Fine: Come out and make this a nice, clean surrender.
Rorschach: Walked right into it! Stupid, stupid, stupid! Never surrender.
Detective Fine: Alright, I hope you're ready, hero.
Rorschach: When you are.

* Larry: Hey, Boss, you notice? None of that "small world, tall order" crap, cause he knows once we slice open his lock, he's next on the block.
Rorschach: Fat chance.

* Rorschach: I don't like you.
Malcolm Long: Well, why is that?
Rorschach: Because you're fat.

* Rorschach: Your turn doctor! Tell me! What do you see?

Rorschach quotes are a sign that Alan Moore loves us and wants us to be happy, or at least tolerates our existence in his universe. Which I appreciate. Here are a few images. The next Rorschach post will be ALL images. A RORGY of images. I am sick. I know this.

I made none of these, and if you want credit tell me, and I will give you credit for your genius.














Note: Posting this image has doomed me to Hell. I am so sorry. What was I think? FORGIVE ME, WALTER.











Do you SEE why I need more than one day? That's not even HALF of what I have. Not. Even. Half. He is wondrous. OK. Tomorrow will be Laurie and the Minutemen, because Laurie is my least favorite (except for Veidt, because while she is not nice to Rorschach at all, at least she doesn't ORGANIZE THE WORST WEEK OF HIS LIFE) (she is probably one of my least favorites because she is one of the saner characters, and therefore not as fun) and the Minutemen are fun because they are totally as screwed up as the next generation of masked avengers.

So yeah. Also, for people who care, so far my Comedian Post has had the most hits, and Veidt had the fewest, because he kills everything I love. I really thought Nite Owl II would have the most so far, but what do I know. So Rorschach fans, you really need to up the ante. Are we going to let a cigar-smoking rapist oust our favorite vigilante?! I think not.
- LV

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Alan Moore Can Smell Sounds & Hear Odors.

Watchmen Quotes: Comedian Quotes
Note: I always love the Comedian. He's such a complete bastard, but he's fun and complicated, and seems human. He reminds me of Rorschach, in a way - they both try so hard not to care about humanity, about people and life (albeit one completely denies it and one embraces only the ugly parts). Anyway, he's funny and twisted, and was unnervingly sexy in the movie, which I had a problem with. I am NOT supposed to be attracted to a crazed raping S.O.B. But that's part of the Comedian's charm - you find yourself liking him, and DESPISING yourself for doing so.

Comic
* Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense.

* Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Pregnant woman. Gunned her down. Bang. And y'know what? You watched me. You coulda changed the gun into steam or the bullets into mercury or the bottle into snowflakes! You coulda teleported either of us to goddamn Australia...but you didn't lift a finger! You don't really give a damn about human beings. I've watched you. You never cared about whatsername, Janey Slater, even before you ditched her. Soon you won't be interested in Sally Jupiter's little girl, either. You're driftin' outta touch, Doc. You're turnin' into a flake. God help us all.

* You people are a joke. You hear Moloch's back in town, you think "Oh, boy! Let's gang up and bust him!" You think that matters? You think that solves anything?

* It don't matter squat because inside thirty years the nukes are gonna be flyin' like maybugs...and then Ozzy here is gonna be the smartest man on the cinder. Now, pardon me, but I got an appointment. See you in the funny papers.

* Listen, you little punks, you better get back in your rat holes! I got riot gas, I got rubber bullets...

* Hey... I never said it was a good joke! I'm just playing along with the gag...

Movie
* Just a matter of time, I suppose.

* "What happened to the American Dream?" It came true! You're lookin' at it...

* Mother forgive me.

* Veidt: It doesn't take a genius to see the world has problems.
Blake: No, but it takes a room full of morons to think they're small enough for you to handle.

* God damn I love working on American soil, Dan. Ain't had this much fun since Woodward and Bernstein. Congress is pushing through some new bill that's gonna outlaw masks. Our days are numbered. Till then it's like you always say, we're society's only protection.

I will never stop laughing over the Woodward and Bernstein line, because it's such a great throwaway joke, and it makes me happy. Not that he killed two of the most important investigative journalists of our time - that came out wrong. OK. Here are Comedian images, Comedian macros, and general nutty Comedian humor. Special thanks to Mandy W for sharing a bunch of these from her own Comedian file!
As always, I made none of these. None. If you see your work and want credit, please tell me.

This bunch looks tiny, but if you CLICK they will enbiggen and be readable. Please do so now.












The following were made by dodger_winslow, who's kind of a genius:






I don't know who made these, but they are also very talented, and clearly insane in the best sense of the word.












Well, my fandom is sick in the head. And I wouldn't want it any other way. Huzzah for crazed power-hungry woman-abusing laugh-riots!

Tomorrow was going to be Silk Spectre II, but I kind of have too much Rorschach stuff, and very little Laurie stuff, because no one likes Laurie. Nor should they. But if anyone has any good Laurie images, please send them to me, because I have NOTHING on this girl. So tomorrow will be Rorschach part I, then Saturday will be Laurie (and possibly the Minutemen, because I can find JACK to post about Laurie), Sunday will be Rorschach part II, and I'll need to think up a reason to keep talking about this stuff for Monday.

Dear Comedian: You made 'Boogie Man' a sexy song, and THAT is unforgivable. Love,
- LV

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Alan Moore Doesn't Actually Write Books. The Words Assemble Themselves Out Of Fear.

Watchman Quotes: Doctor Manhattan Quotes
Note: I actually felt more for Jon in the movie than the comic. Maybe because actually hearing his voice was necessary to see him as more than just a scary blue god. Jon's a character I nothinged the first time reading, and grew to feel really bad for. Also, I love that nobody ever discusses the fact that he's naked. I feel like this would really bother Rorschach, or anyone when Jon's in SUPER GIANT MAN FORM. Also, even though what happens to Rorschach is totally Adrian's fault, I agree with that thing I read that said Jon should NOT be allowed to explode people until he learns how to UNexplode them. I'm just saying.

Comic
* A live body and a dead body contain the same number of particles. Structurally, there's no discernible difference. Life and death are unquantifiable abstracts. Why should I be concerned?

* Up is a relative concept. It has no intrinsic value.

* We're all puppets, Laurie. I'm just a puppet who can see the strings.

* There is no future. There is no past. Do you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet.

* I've walked across the sun. I've seen events so tiny and so fast they hardly can be said to have occurred at all, but you... you are a man. And this world's smartest man means no more to me than does its smartest termite.

* The morality of my activities escapes me.

* She says I am like a god now. I tell her I don't think there is a god. And if there is I'm nothing like him.

* Come, dry your eyes, for you are life, rarer than a quark and unpredictable beyond the dreams of Heisenberg. Come, dry your eyes. And let's go home.

* Nothing ends, Adrian. Nothing ever ends.

* Adrian: But you said you'd regained interest in human life.
Doctor Manhattan: Yes, I have. I think perhaps I'll create some.

Movie
* Why would I save a world I no longer have any stake in?

* When you left me, I left Earth.

* My father was a watch maker. He abandoned it when Einstein discovered time is relative. I would only agree that a symbolic clock is as nourishing to the intellect as photograph of oxygen to a drowning man.

* I don't know what stimulates you anymore.

See, THAT's a quote section. I like it better in the comic, when he says that line to Veidt. It's much more ominous than when Laurie says it to Dan. Anyway, here are funny pictures. I have tried to keep the Blue Peen of Death to a minimum, but I can only work with what the internet gives me.


These are real. I swear. And technically, there's no penis IN this picture, so I've kept my promise.























These have penis humor. I apologize for ruining everything:




It's not funny, because it's true:


Do you understand how epically long this entry would have been if I'd included blue penis jokes? The internet would have crashed. I'm serious. Once, I actually heard someone describe this movie, "It's about a blue naked guy with a big dick." I may have cried/killed them. I'm just saying.

Anyhoo, that was relatively painless and fun, yes? Next up is The Comedian. I imagine there will be an excess of rape jokes. Like, a lot. So watch out for those, tomorrow. And PLEASE submit stuff, if you want it on this site! I'm only one girl - I can't scour the WHOLE internet, and still have time to bathe/sleep.
- LV

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