I AM A Giddy Goat.

Blog
* You know, when you say this out loud, in real life, people tend to give you some peculiar looks. Title is from The IT Crowd.

* ThatRevChap (who is the husband of the fabulous and all-powerful Patience, proving the universe can be glorious sometimes) has a gaming blog, and because of it I now want video games, an iPhone, and Ben & Jerry's ice cream. And I think I deserve them.

Daily Buy
* I want these leather gauntlets, and I think they are badass, and I know for a fact I am not getting them, but I SHOULD, RIGHT?

[Found at Free People]
They are SWEET, and only $30.00, and a STEAL, and I need them in my life, because I think the zombie apocalypse is coming soon, and these would be helpful, and I will only tell you how to survive said apocalypse in exchange for these leather gauntlets. Times are tough, guys.

Holiday!Fail
Roland Burris has ruined "'Twas The Night Before Christmas".

Well, then.

TeeVee
* I can't embed this video, which is depressing, but you MUST click the link, because it is Dean Winchester (AKA Jensen Ackles) from Supernatural, ad-libbing a music video to 'Eye Of The Tiger' while dancing all over the Impala, and I could watch it forever and be a better person. Sent to me by Karma, who HAS the eye of the tiger, but not Dean Winchester. DOES SHE?

Awesome
* Oh. My. God. What you are about to see was sent to me by BossMew, and I will be in her debt for this for ALL TIME. It is a picture of David Tennant. Dressed as Russell Brand. THERE ARE NO WORDS:

NO WORDS, PEOPLE.

Childhood!Fail
* And, on the opposite end of the wordless spectrum, we have this delightful piece of information:

As many as three-quarters of state schools are failing to push their brightest pupils because teachers are reluctant to promote 'elitism', an Ofsted study says today.

This is happening in England. Here in the US, we don't have gifted students. We sell them to other countries for gold. Low blow?

Daily Hot Guy

[Anthony Rapp, because it's almost Christmas, and even jaded New Yorkers sort of love Rent at Christmas, RIGHT? Anyway, who cares, he's adorable, and when he sings I am happy.]

Movie!Win
* Um, I kind of love Mark Millar's Batman idea. Don't hurt me, but the idea of the Joker as super-rich, quasi Se7en serial killer anarchist (with Harley Quinn, PLZ?) makes me all fangirly and squee. I would see this movie. SEE IT A LOT. But until then, I'll have to buy the comic, Nemesis, when it comes out, and see how this all turns out.
And yes, I know of course that his idea is not a Batman comic, but I am going to pretend that the Joker and Harley have renovated Arkham into a kick-ass mansion, and have cool gadgets, and are rich and crazy.

Wow
* Today I learned that we should NEVER, EVER mix Family Guy with Disney animation.

Family Guy - Disney Style - A funny movie is a click away
HOLY CRAP. I am scared and frightened and want to go away from all of it.
Except for the Adam West mouse. I love that bit.

Animals
* The giant bunny thinks it's a doggie!

[Found at the Daily Mail]
I have nothing else to add. DOGGIE BUNNY.

Crafts
* You can make a VCR into a toaster.

[Found at Neatorama]
Today everything is upside down! DOGS ARE BUNNIES, TENNANT IS BRAND, AND VCRS ARE TOASTERS.
PS The Young Ones is one of the best fucking shows EVER.

Tattoo Of Win

[Found at Ugliest Tattoos]
I am going to pretend, for the rest of my life, that this man's name is actually Tom.

OK. I may be getting sick, or someone may have laced my coffee with Swine Flu. Which would be the same thing, ish.

- LV

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NOD! Nod At What I Am Saying Or I Will Shoot!

Blog
* See, this is why I can't go to court. Because this seems a good way to convince the jury. Title is from Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law.

* If you want to know about books, you read Irish's blog. She writes thoughtful reviews, tells you about fun contests, and knows her SHIT. She's also scary smart and funny, but that almost goes without saying.

I remember when I had time to read, before the internet and work and friends and my attention span shrank to the size of a dime. Good times, good times.

Daily Buy
* I already wrote, in my other blog, about how unfair it is that being a girl seems to negate your ability to receive action figures for Christmas, and how I do indeed want designer clothes and makeup, and yarn, and Doctor Who DVDs, and action figures, and a goat.
So let me just say that I desperately need this Hot Toys' Joker:

[Found at Amazon]
It costs $134.59, and belongs in my life. Thank you.

Holiday!Fail
* There is so much wrong with this picture. So, so much.....

[Found at Santa, No!]
I can't even... his face.... the candle.... what sort of music is ON this CD?

Politics
* Is this happening today? Or was it last week? I have no sense of time anymore. I always assume there is an extra week in December, and there ISN'T, which wreaks havoc on my schedule. Anyway, it seems that teabaggers were/are going to go into Senate offices and pretend to fall down dead, to prove a point of massive importance. I don't know why. Because healthcare is bad? Oh, because government healthcare is bad. OK. Well. Um. I somehow suspect that pretending to fall down dead in a Senator's office will not increase the validity of the teabagger movement. Just a thought.

* Because a lot of people give a shit about Tiger Woods and his harem of women-sex-pals and the whole debacle, even though I am not among them and would rather stop hearing about it, but what I want doesn't matter to the media, because there would be a WHOLE CHANNEL devoted exclusively to Arrested Development, Firefly, and all the other shows I love that got cancelled prematurely. What were we talking about? Oh, yes, well, the International Society of Supervillians looks at the CNN coverage of Tiger Woods, and journalistic integrity is already dead, so let's just enjoy the drama of the man who hits tiny balls with a stick!

Epic!Fail
* So, once upon a time a woman, let's call her Leslie, attends her sister's surprise birthday party. Leslie's sister and her friends are in the theater watching New Moon, when all the friends start singing 'Happy Birthday,' thrilling Leslie's sister at their thoughtful gesture.

Unsurprisingly, Leslie wants to record this, and videotapes the event for posterity. It comes to about four minutes of footage.

This, however, is a bit shocking:

Meanwhile, 22-year-old Samantha Tumpach spent two nights in jail for recording her friends singing "Happy Birthday" at a movie theater, for capturing less than four minutes of a feature film. She is charged with a felony and if convicted, could lose the right to vote, to work with children, to hold office, and to partake in full civil life.

Really, universe? The girl caught four minutes of a movie on camera, and it's a FELONY? I mean, people are murdering and stealing and committing terrible, terrible crimes, and THIS is what we're freaking out about? TWO NIGHTS IN JAIL?

Have we as a nation become so demented that this seems like a LOGICAL RESPONSE?

Yes, yes, the charges have since been dropped, but the point is that THEY WERE MADE. THIS IS CRAZED. This girl wasn't some fan trying to get a bootleg copy of the movie. THE MOVIE WAS INCIDENTAL. WHY IS THIS SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND?

Technology
* If you follow me on Twitter, you probably know that I love getting presents almost as much as I love giving them. And with Christmas but a few days away, my bitter little atheist heart is melted a bit by upcoming festivities, foods, family, and free stuff.

On the downside, I start to get into a mental state where I want everything I see online, all the while cheerfully admitting I have no clue as to what it is.

This is one such item:

[Found at The World's Best Ever]
It's a sidecar, thing, and it's red and it goes fast, and maybe if I learn to ride it without dying I can meet Tony Stark? Also it's French. I don't know. But I need one.

Books
* Sheepterror, who I defer to on all things Torchwood related, because she is a GENIUS, and just generally cool, shared this link of comic book artists illustrating their favorite science fiction authors. He's not a science fiction author, but this may be my favorite, for obvious reasons:

[Found at Wired]
I really do need to get a Hunter S. Thompson tattoo of some sort. Not this, but something. AND it's drawn by Ben Templesmith, which makes it even BETTER. This picture also made me very happy:

[Found at Wired]
I love Jorge Luis Borges. HARDCORE. I'd really recommend his short fiction if you've never read his work. You're missing out. Trippy as hell. Like a mix of Gabriel Garcia Marquez and H.P. Lovecraft, but uniquely its own work as well.

Daily Hot Guy

[Matt Damon. He is HOT. And wicked smart, and he's charming and funny and from BOSTON, which is currently my favorite city in America. AND he's going to be Jason Bourne again, and maybe it won't suck, no?]

Nostalgia!Win
* I am a child of the nineties (untrue, technically. I was born in the 80s, but since I had limited motor skills and don't remember jack shit, so I qualify myself as a nineties kid, since I can RECALL the nineties), but I remember most of these arcade games from the Jersey Shore arcade, and I think these totally fucked up games sum up my generation, and the one right before me, amazingly well. DOES ANYONE ELSE REMEMBER ANTEATER?


Torchwood
* Speaking of Torchwood, and Gareth David-Lloyd, Miss Laroux sent me this video, in which Mr. David-Lloyd discusses, um, fisting. No, really:

HE SAYS SWEARS AND THEY SOUND CLASSY, CUZ WELSH ACCENTS MAKE EVERYTHING DAMN CLASSY.

People I Love
* I love Leonard Cohen, even AFTER the Sex Scene of Uncomfortable Laughing And Sneezy-Looking 'O' Face And Please Tell Me It Was Supposed To Be Funny, Mr. Snyder that it played over in Watchmen. I clearly still have serious problems with that part of the film.

Moving on, Leonard Cohen invented a drink, called The Red Needle, and I think I should partake of it whilst listening to some of his music, which is lovely.

Movie!Fail
* I genuinely like many of Gus Van Sant's movies. I think My Own Private Idaho was beautiful, and Good Will Hunting and Drugstore Cowboy and Milk are all very well done and lovely. And To Die For is criminally underrated.

I used to be a big fan of Bret Easton Ellis, although now I suspect his books are better as movies, and that American Psycho is sort of rubbish in literary form, and that while the first half of Glamorama is a shockingly funny and entertaining look at celebrity, the second half is utterly tiresome shock-attempting bullshit.

But these two are making a movie together, and it is going to be, without a shadow of a doubt, the most pretentious piece of cinema ever to be forced upon a terrified public.

Today is the first day of Christmas vacation, and I have a lot of NOTHING to accomplish. I may be inordinately excited about this.
- LV

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Oh, Yeah. I’ve Got To, Uh - I’ve Got To Go - Over There. Right Now.

Blog
* Oh Sam, you are a true diplomat. Title is from Supernatural.

* And we're BACK! I enjoyed my brief break (and seeing my GLORIOUS friend Miss Laroux, AND the band Thursday), and snow-storms do NOTHING to me, SO SUCK IT, WEATHER!

* Patience, who I want to be when I grow up and is made of epic Epic-ry, ALSO loves Janis Joplin. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE LEVEL OF COOLNESS WE ARE DEALING WITH?

Daily Buy
* Sweet Libertine cosmetics needs to be mine. The makeup is gorgeous and pretty-ful (yes, I am making up words today, what of it?) and you can get an eyeshadow a month for $200, which would make a fantastic present for ANYONE inclined to makeup. Like me.

[Found at Sweet Libertine Cosmetics]

Holiday!Fail
* Um, I think you have to pick ONE:

[Found at Flickr]

WTF, INTERNET?
* I officially have NO FREAKING CLUE who thought a dragon figure of President Obama would be a clever idea for a gift:

[Found at Wonkette]
I mean, as someone who likes Obama, I do not want this in my house. It scares me, and I suspect it eats the souls of children as they sleep.

You could buy it for someone who hates Obama, I guess, but do they really WANT a figurine of Obama in dragon form in their home? Wouldn't that be like having a framed picture of the person you hate most hanging over the fireplace?

Also the figurine has no pupils. I think it's a DEMON DRAGON. That you could buy for $7.99. And they have a McCain gargoyle, but even THAT is more frightening than amusing/flattering, and maybe stop making FIGURINES of political figures that FREAK ME RIGHT THE HELL OUT.

I'm just glad they don't have Sarah Palin as a centaur or something. Or a unicorn. I COULDN'T HANDLE THAT RIGHT NOW.

Music

Because I saw them this weekend, and they PLAYED THIS SONG WHICH MADE ME SO HAPPY, and I didn't die near the mosh pit, and the guitarist from Dillinger Escape Plan jumped on the bar and danced around, and Thursday is WIN.

Comics
* According to this article, Marvel hates women. Especially powerful women. They are teh evil, and must be destroyed. Unlike all the dudes who are too powerful and must be destroyed because, hey, that's different.

This whole 'are comics sexist?' argument gets on my nerves, because the short answer is Yes, and the long answer is Not anymore, Not really, But....

Also, they're escapist fantasy, and they're fun as hell, and anyway DC women are more fun/badass anyway (Hi, Harley Quinn!)

Daily Hot Guy

[David Tennant, AKA, The Doctor, and WHY IS EVERYONE IN THIS UNIVERSE LEAVING? Dear Russell T. Davies: Stop killing characters I love for NO DAMN REASON. And convince David Tennant not to leave. Because I am blaming you for this. It's totally your fault. Mr Tennant, COME BACK!]

Words Of Win
* Nice doggy?

see more Epic Fails

Life Lessons
* Life lesson of the day: Sometimes bad guys make better good guys than the good guys, and are STILL better bad guys, so maybe good guys are obsolete, except Deadpool and Tony Stark.

Food!Fail
* I won't lie, if I was drunk I would eat this:

[Found at This Is Why You're Fat]
It's a burger filled with chinese BBQ pork between two pork buns.
Yeah, sort of delicious, in a suicidal way.

SO why fail?

Because it's bigger than my head, and that frightens me.

I'm BACK! Did you miss me? I missed blogging.

Except when I innocently clicked a random link and ended up with Santa!Pron. That was not what I wanted.
- LV

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You're Wet. Allow Me To Dry You Off - WITH MY PANTS!

Blog
* Say what you will, I freaking miss this show. Title is from Clone High.

* SilentWK draws pictures that I try to climb into:

That Inglorious Basterd by =SilentKW on deviantART
INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS COMES OUT TOMORROW. Sorry, off topic. SilentWK has drawings of Zachary Quinto and the Joker that make me giggle with awe. Giggle because they are so gorgeous, and awe because, well:

Mr. Irons - Finale by =SilentKW on deviantART
JEREMY IRONS FTW. I was listening to his reading of Lolita last night on the train. It was weird and I enjoyed it.

Daily Buy
* I joke often about being a ninja, mostly because I am not in any way, shape, or form. But I still think I deserve this:

[Found at Think Geek]
And it's only $30.00, and it's a NINJA UMBRELLA OF EPIC JUSTICE. I just want it. If you can't understand why, I pity you.

Holiday!Fail
* TWO SHOTS TO THE HEAD TWO SHOTS TO THE HEAD:

[Found at Santa, NO!]

Fandom
* It's Monday. This is a little bit beyond my skills:

[Found at Boing Boing]
I really don't know anymore, guys. Why is the Stormtrooper also a ballerina? Who thinks of combining these things? Star Wars: The Ballet? These are questions I do not want to answer.

Jersey!Fail
* Have you watched Jersey Shore?

VH1 TV Shows | Music Videos | Celebrity Photos | News & Gossip

THOSE PEOPLE DO NOT REPRESENT ME. I AM NOT AFFILIATED WITH THEM.

Really, can't you guys just leave us alone? Go make fun of Maine for a while. THEY HAVE LOBSTERS.

Star Trek
* This is weird and funny and Star Trek.

This is what they're really saying, you know. Ignore the 'dialogue' from the 'episode' and trust Paraguay.

Daily Hot Guy

[Nathan 'The Hammer Is My Penis' Fillion. Future husband of one of my dearest friends. TRUFAX.]

Inglourious Basterds
* WHAT IS GOING ON TODAY ON THE INTERWBEZ?

Really, Quentin? This is not the way to reward my devotion.

Art
* I went to the Tim Burton exhibit at the MOMA yesterday (and if you get a chance, you should go - it was INCREDIBLE), so I know a thing or two about art:

[Found at DVICE]
This is not art. This just makes me cry and have to go sit in a quiet room.


Words Of Win
* This is both funny AND depressing, much like Monday itself:

see more Epic Fails

OK, I have to go do things with stuff.
- LV

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They're Like Sex, Except I'm Having Them!

Blog
* Oh, Fry. I don't know whether to judge you or hug you. Title is from Futurama.

* Sullen Skrewt is another one of those artists that I love because they're so talented, but I also sort of hate because they're so talented. I mean, LOOK AT THIS:

Joker abstract by *sullen-skrewt on deviantART
I LOVE this. Then again, Joker art needs to exist everywhere I am. I think my love outweighs the hate here, because she makes art of SUPREME WIN. When I'm rich, I will buy much of it. For my castle. In England. Shut up.

Freakangels Friday
* Huzzah, for Warren Ellis, eater of babies and fucker of zombies, has gifted us peons with another chapter of FREAKANGELS, and the world makes sense... until I stop reading, of course. Then it all goes to shit.

Daily Buy
* This warrants SUPER CAPSLOCKS.

[Found at Alter Ego Comics]
WHY DO I NOT OWN THIS DOC HOLLIDAY FIGURE? WHY IS IT NOT MINE? DOC FUCKING HOLLIDAY IS EASILY ONE OF THE TOP THREE MOST BAMF IN HISTORY, AND I LOVE HIM, AND NOW I NEED TO RENT TOMBSTONE.

Oh, and you can remove the pistol rounds, although I don't know WHY you'd want to do that. I just want to keep him safe from disease and loneliness. So, someone loan me $250, OK?

Holiday!Fail
* Well, if you need me, I'll be in the corner canceling Christmas:

[Found at Santa, No!]

Girly Shit
* I kind of stopped liking Salma Hayek after a while, because she got boring and stopped being made of epic win. But she looks fabulous in this Campari ad, and I think we all need to admit that:

[Found at Letters From The End Consumer]
Also her breasts have super-powers, and if she felt like it she could use them to rule the world. TRUTH.
PS, Salma, you were totally awesome in From Dusk 'Till Dawn, even if you did make Quentin Tarantino sad.

Dollhouse
* So when they announced the cancellation of Dollhouse, I didn't say much, nor was I that surprised, because:
A) It's FOX and Joss Whedon, and these things happen
B) Firefly got canceled, and Firefly was better than Dollhouse
C) Dollhouse only got renewed (in my opinion), because of the shit storm that followed the cancellation of Firefly
D) Dollhouse may have some of the best episodes Joss Whedon has ever filmed, but it's also his most uneven show yet.
E) While I have seen everything Joss Whedon has done, I am not a blind Whedonite. I thought Angel was better than Buffy, I am TIRED of his strong female lead, and I think Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog was his best work yet because he wasn't TRYING, he was just having fun.
F) I don't think Eliza Dushku is particularly fantastic, but what's worse, I dislike both Echo AND Caroline.

Don't get me wrong, I loved Dollhouse. Well, parts of it. I love Topher and Whiskey and of COURSE, I worship Alpha Wash.
Yeah, I was sad, but I wasn't surprised, and I don't think it was ENTIRELY unjustified (except that Omega One may be one of the best hours on TV ever).

THEN, of course, Joss Whedon has to go and SCREW WITH MY HEAD, AGAIN, by releasing some freaking AMAZING episodes that are epic and brilliant and clever and ALL the good words, and now I am upset it's being cancelled, and tonight Alpha Wash comes back, and it will make me feel worse that the show is being cancelled, because NOW you decide to be amazing, Mr. Whedon? THAT IS NOT FAIR.

Daily Hot Guy

[Eric Stoltz. THE STOLTZ. With a beard. You're welcome.]

Whut?

[Found at Geekologie]
It's a ring that features a dinosaur eating a fried chicken leg.

No, I don't know. And I don't plan on finding out.

Zombies
* ZOMBIE BOARD GAME:

[Found at Nerd Approved]
Teach your children about the End Of Times, and have fun too!

OK, Friday, let's go.
- LV

PS, if you aren't following this blog on Twitter, the forces of evil will descend upon your home. Not my fault. Just the way things ARE.

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GIR! That Movie Is Some Kind Of Government Spying Tool! Quickly! Eat It!

Blog
* Spying tools are delicious. Title is from Invader Zim.

* Rorschachschick makes incredible videos, like this:

BADASS. BAD. ASS. AND TIM ROTH AND EDWARD NORTON. AND THE MUSIC IS SWEET. Sorry, I'm chugging coffee. But really, you need to watch her videos, because they are beautiful.

Daily Buy
* Totally sexy Mary Janes are the gifts that keep on giving:

[Found at Amazon]
And since I'm advertising them, for free, I get them for free, right? RIGHT? That's how the internet works, isn't it?
My wish list is fabulous, because of what I want, but sad, because nobody will BUY them for me.

Holiday!Fail
* Your Christmas tree is going to kill you and destroy everything you love.

[Found at World's Best Ever]
WE HAVE A SANTA LIKE THAT IN MY HOUSE. Or we did. I think the Christmas tree ate it.

Movie!Win
* I love Terry Gilliam. I really do. Can someone let him make his Don Quixote movie? He's tried for so long. They made a documentary about his failure. And Tideland really freaked me out. And even though it won't happen, his plans for Watchmen made me very nervous. And Robert Duvall as Don Quixote would be some deliriously delightful shit.

So can someone let Terry Gilliam make his movie? Please?

Childhood!Fail
* When I was little and went to EPCOT center, it was AMAZING. Some kid threw up on one ride, which as a small child is pretty much the height of comedy, and I got a stuffed Figment dragon from the ride 'Journey Into Imagination.'

Unfortunately, the ride is now gone, because Imagination is frowned upon, and everything is DOOMED. What's worse? I can't find my Figment dragon.
Here are ten rides that are gone from EPCOT.

Also, on the Wonders of Life ride, I distinctly remember hearing another little kid yelling, 'Ew! That's not what you said!' when the sperm appeared onscreen.


Wow
* Some people live in their own little worlds. Sometimes those worlds are scary:

I can not believe you do not remember me. My heart is broken, b****. Can you really say you don’t remember me?. After that marvelous date at that theatre? I still love you though Even though you’re a bit frazzle-minded.

Nothing good can come of this.


Daily Hot Guy

[Eric Northman from True Blood. When the HELL does that show come back on? I miss Hoyt saying 'Vampire Bill,' and the sex and drinking and mayhem that makes me want to go live in the South.]

Animals
* Do you know what a Tapir is?

A tapir (pronounced /ˈteɪpər/ "taper", or /təˈpɪər/ "ta-pier") is a large browsing mammal, roughly pig-like in shape, with a short, prehensile snout. Tapirs inhabit jungle and forest regions of South America, Central America, and Southeast Asia. There are four species of Tapirs, being the Brazilian tapir, the Malayan tapir, Baird's tapir and the mountain tapir. All four species of tapir are classified as endangered or vulnerable. Their closest relatives are the other odd-toed ungulates, including horses and rhinoceroses.

[Found at Wikipedia]
What it fails to mention is that they are the CUTEST THINGS EVAR:

[Found at Neatorama]
I need a baby tapir. It can be friends with my imaginary baby goat. DON'T JUDGE ME.

Apocalypse How?
* THE PLANES ARE GOING TO FALL OUT OF THE SKY. HIDE ME. I'MMA TAKE A FREAKING BOAT TO ENGLAND. NOTHING BAD HAPPENS ON BOATS. LET ME PRETEND THAT.

Crafts
* Guys, THIS EXISTS:

[Found at Neatorama]
There are people doing this, right now, as you read these words. Do you comprehend what that means? I don't think you do, at all.

Random
* I want Moss singing this song to be my ring tone. Can someone make this happen?

Tattoo Of Win
* I just.... I need someone to explain this to me. Please?

[Found at LOLTATZ]
Why is the lemur tripping on acid?

Food!Win
* These look like churros:

[Found at This Is Why You're Fat]
In fact these are Deviled Corndogs, which are corndog hotdogs pureed with cheese, mayonnaise and tater tots, then re-baked inside a corndog shell.
I had no idea such things could exist.

OK. Off.

- LV

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What The Hell Kind Of Language Is That?

Blog
* Cultural sensitivity knows no boundaries. Title is from Cannibal! The Musical.

* Stina is one of the most talented writers I know, and her brain is actually sort of scary because she's so effing talented. I love her writing, and her horror is actually scary and intense, unlike mine, which gets distracted and makes fun of itself. Anyway, read her work.

PLUS, her blog is SNOWING. SERIOUSLY.

Daily Buy
* ZOMBIES.

[Found at Amazon]
Left For Dead 2: EVEN MORE ZOMBIES FOR ME TO KILL. I played L4D, but only at the homes of sympathetic friends, because I don't have an XBOX360, or a PC (STUPID MAC). But I need this, for so many obvious reasons, and I suppose that means I also need this:

[Found at Best Buy]
And a TV. And, you know, many cords to hook it up. But it's worth it. ZOMBIES, GUYS. ZOMBIES.


Holiday!Fail
* You know, I just think I should stop clicking on links sent by Warren Ellis:

[Found at Santa, NO!]
WHAT DID YOU DO TO PRANCER? OH THE HUMANITY!

Books
* I love how books smell. And that makes me a scientist, apparently, GO ME:

Matija Strlic and colleagues write in the ACS's Analytical Chemistry about "material degradomics," a techniques by which the odors emanating from old books are noninvasively analyzed to figure out which books are rotting and need preservation

So.... the smell is the smell of books DYING? That's horrible! It's the smell of DEAD LITERATURE? I need a hug. Books are supposed to live forever. So if you have a good nose, you should offer it up for smelling the health of books, so we can preserve them. It's your DUTY.

Nostalgia!Win
* Do you remember Lite Brite? Best toy ever, yeah? And I had this one:

[Found at Topless Robot]
No, you are NOT hallucinating: THAT IS TALESPIN LITE BRITE. I KNOW. And I had the My Little Pony set, and the Muppets set. And the Fraggle Rock set.
But I did not have the Mr. T set. I didn't even know it EXISTED. What else did my parents keep from me?
Here are the 10 Awesomest Lite Brite sets. I miss Lite Brite.

Doctor WHo
* I'm just pretending End of Time isn't happening. It's easier for me. So let's all look at this pretty Doctor Who picture that has NO IMPLICATIONS OR SPOILERS WHATSOEVER. Click to embiggen it:


Daily Hot Guy

[Taye Diggs. Dude's a geek, and a good husband and father. Um. And he can sing. Really well. Yeah, I need to stop typing now.]

People I Love
* There are spoilers in this video of Tim Roth, but it is worth being spoiled, because the video is SO epic:


Movie!Fail
* The Karate Kid remake continues to destroy my faith in humanity:

[Found at Collider]
I don't even care anymore. Will Smith's spawn is ruining my childhood memories.

TeeVee
* Who sent me this brilliant chart about Supernatural?

[Found at Cracked]
I need to reward you for your genius.

But Bela and Dean still have angry hate sex, right? RIGHT?

Awesome

1. awesomesistance
n. 1: the act of assisting, in the discovery of awesomeness/something awesome.

2: the act of assisting one to become more awesome.
I'm glad I could be of awesomesistance.

KAISHA INVENTED THIS WORD, AND I WAS THERE WHEN IT HAPPENED. SWEET.

Words Of Win

[Found at Autocomplete Me]
I think goats are my favorite animals.

I can go back to sleep now, yeah?
- LV

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Meat Is The Anagram Of Team. I Don't Know What He's Talking About.

Blog
* A team of meat? Title is from Shaun of the Dead.

* Kaisha is awesome, and makes things of AWESOME, like this:

I like my violence WITH sex and witty banter. I have high expectations.

Daily Buy
* NERD WANT. NERD NEED:

[Found at Topless Robot]
TONY STARK. WITH SUIT PROTOTYPE. FREAKY AWESOME. Oh, there's also Leonidas from 300:

[Found at Topless Robot]
Dude has thighs like tree trunks. But I want Mr. Stark. He will protect me from... um... money. They don't come out until 2010. I can wait. I'm patient.

OH GOD I LOOKED AT THE SITE, LOOK AT THESE:




But I can't figure out how to buy these! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WEBSITE??

This is too much excitement for a Monday.

Holiday!Fail

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WTF, INTERNET?
* I'm not posting the pictures, in part because I already posted it on my Twitter account, and there was much misery throughout the internet. I'm also hesitant to TALK about it, because I get weird enough searches for my blog as it is. So, in brief: Click here to see a product for those who find cocker spaniels attractive.

DO I REALLY NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS? OH GOD. WHY CAN'T THE INTERNET SHOW ME NICE THINGS LIKE UNICORNS AND TAB SODA?

Music
* My uncle, who is from England and therefore knows about cool things that I don't, introduced me to this band, called Jucifer:

I think I need to see them in concert. REPEATEDLY. Also their name makes me smile every time I hear it. ARE THEY MINSTRELS?

Comics
* Emo superheroes?

[Found at Neatorama]
Thanks, I saw Spider-Man 3 already. YOU HAVE SUPER-POWERS. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO BE SAD ABOUT? WALK IT OFF.

Daily Hot Guy

[Ryan Reynolds, being insane in The Amityville Horror remake. Look, I'm just staring at the picture right now. Go about your business. LOOK at his arms. This, by the way, is why the remake is allowed to exist.

Moment Of Win

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Life Lessons
* The International Society of Supervillains teaches me some nice things about hippies:

They're pacifists and therefore won't defend themselves as you kick their stupid hippie heads in.

But BUT what if there was a hippie clown, huh? What would you do THEN?

Food!Fail

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Politics
* NAKED LEVIL JOHNSTON. THIS IS NEVER GOING TO STOP BEING FUNNY. I was going to post the pictures, but it's NSFW, and I don't want to get anyone in trouble. BUT SERIOUSLY, you need to click here, because he has a HOCKEY STICK and HOCKEY GLOVES AND HE IS NAKED. FUNNIEST SHIT EVER. And somewhere, Sarah Palin is screaming into the night.

Epic!Fail
* Sigh. Some people make me sad. Like this girl:

A chicken is a bird. A cow is an animal. What else can I say?

Technology
* Did you know Google launched in 1996? This is what it looked like:

[Found at Telegraph]
God damn, I feel old. These kids don't know how good they have it. When I was their age, I had to walk fifteen miles to get to the internet! In the snow! With no shoes on! AND IT WAS ONLY BROADBAND.
Crap, I'm flashing back to the noise AOL used to make. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Here are some other websites, and how they looked when they started out.

OK, it's Monday, and you know what that means. I need to go ingest obscene amounts of caffeine. Really, it might frighten you. Here's to a good week, yeah?
- LV

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