You Don't Know What Words MEAN, Do You?

Blog
* No, I've been faking it all these years. It's rather obvious if you've been paying attention. Title is from Mr. Show, which I miss. Why isn't this on Netflix instant viewing?

* The look of pure, abject horror on this guys' face is awe-inspiring:

[Drawn by Erin]
If it's not food, WHAT IS HE EATING?

World Peace Through Jackie Earle Haley
* New episode is up, where we discuss the new A Nightmare On Elm Street Trailer, and we have many opinions, and Maniac Cop 3 is awesome.

TeeVee
* Hi, Universe, could you do me a favor? It's a small one: Could you NOT turn Heathers into a TV series, thus ruining the movie and destroying one of my few fond memories of Winona Ryder? And if you are determined to ruin one of my favorite high school movies, could you NOT hire one of the writers from Sex & the City to completely miss the point and be worried more about being clever than telling a story or having characters that seem REMOTELY like real people? I hate Sex & the City. CARRIE BRADSHAW WAS A TERRIBLE WRITER, DRESSER, AND HUMAN BEING. So I don't want Heathers: Carrie Goes Back To High School & Gets To Thinking About Murder, OK?!

Geek Want
* OMIGOD. I almost put this under 'Stuff To Live,' because everyone alive needs a big damn model of Serenity (from the movie, not the TV show), signed by Captain Mal 'The Hammer Is My Penis; Reynolds, AKA Nathan Fillion:

[Found at Topless Robot]
OMIGOD. It's not that big (19 by 12 inches), but it's handmade, and it can be modified to your specifications. AND IT'S PRETTY. OK, it's also $2500, which is almost a laughable amount of money, but I'm disregarding that because $2500 doesn't really exist, anyway.

Awesome
* OK, we have to be nice to NASA for like, a month, because they sent a Twitter feed from the satellite that crashed into the moon. So, you say? WELL, it just so happens that the feed Tweeted lines from A Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, when the sperm whale plummets to Magrathea. Seriously. I love you NASA. I take back everything bad I've said about you, and you get a free pass for a week. Then the mockery resumes.

Movie!Win
* Warren Ellis is writing a movie. If I have to explain why this is win, you are beyond help.

Daily Hot Guy

[Eddie Izzard, proving brains, British-ness, humor, stubble, and an innate understanding of heels makes for a very sexy man. His comedy is funny for always. And he can pull off outfits I would never dare. Requested by Kristamaru, who essentially runs this category, and I am GLAD she does]

Wow
* Rorschachschick sent me this image. I don't remember why. I don't know where she found it, or if she made it. I know nothing but what it tells me. But I can't stop staring at it:

Yeah, coffee went up my nose when I saw this. Centipedes are SCARY.

Animals
* Daw, it's a gosling with a little robotic leg brace!

[Found at Boing Boing]
I want a robo-goose. I know I should be screaming about fuzzy baby geese overtaking the world, but it's CUTE, OK?! And it's Wednesday and if our goose overlords are downy and quack, I can't be that upset.

More later. Need to go on a quest, in which my goal is MASSIVE amounts of caffeine.
- LV

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That Is Not A Supernatural Cow!

Blog
* It could be. You don't know. Title is from Invader Zim.


[Made by Erin]
You have no idea how many times I looked at this picture before yelling, 'Holy shit! Kermit and Miss Piggy!'

Yes, I'm going to the doctor today. I coughed up my spleen this morning.

WhedonVerse
* There is going to be a sequel to Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. What's that I hear? Angels weeping with joy? Neil Patrick Harris for president of my SOUL.

Sequel!Fail
* They are making Big Momma's House 3. It's OK, guys. Really. Because Joss Whedon is making a sequel to Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. EVERYTHING is OK now.

Jackie Earle Haley
* Have you listened to the most recent podcast? I don't believe you. World Peace Through Jackie Earle Haley watched an episode of Renegade. WIth Lorenzo Lamas. Do you KNOW what that's like? We did it for you. And Jackie. OK, mostly Jackie. And his bad circulation. If you don't understand, you didn't listen. SEE? I can tell.

* Here is an interview with Mr. Haley about A Nightmare on Elm Street. WHY has nobody put up the trailer yet on YouTube? That is the POINT of YouTube. It's attached to the Zombieland movie. Further proof that zombies are AWESOME.



* I have no idea what's going on in this GIF:

And that's just fine.

Daily Hot Guy

[Glenn Quinn, AKA Doyle from Angel and Mark Healy in Roseanne. I know it's kind of creepy to feature a dead man as a DHG, but I really loved this actor and was absolutely devastated when he died on the show, and then he died in real life and I was not OK. I was in high school, don't judge me. Anyway, he was Irish and adorable and a really good actor.]

TeeVee
* It's official! The first show cancelled this year is NOT one of my favorite shows! It's not even a show I watch! Huzzah! Oh, it's The Beautiful Life. Yeah, I don't care at all. I'm not going to pretend.

* Did you catch my Tweeting of Dollhouse last night? A friend asked me what the episode was about. This was my description: 'A lot of people hit Echo and stuff happened, and OMFG TOPHER AND WHISKEY IN THE BUNK IT WAS HOT AND SAD AND HIS SHEETS!'
Yeah, that scene made up for every sin in the history of Dollhouse. All is forgiven, you hear?

* James Marsters is going to be on Lie To Me. With Tim Roth. WHY IS TV BEING SO NICE THIS SEASON? Is this your way of making up for canceling Pushing Daisies? Is this how you make amends for the unending TRAUMA that was Torchwood: Children of the Earth? Because it's working quite well. I hope they snark at each other. A lot. With accents:

[Found at Daemon's TV]
I don't think I've ever seen Mr. Marsters in a suit before. It's kind of wonderful.

Geek Want
* OMFG:

[Found at Amazon]
Here's the plan. I will get this Spider Jerusalem action figure. Then I will acquire a Rorschach action figure. Then... I don't know. I will mail them to Warren Ellis, along with a note demanding that Mr. Haley play Mr. Jerusalem. That's the plan. But I'll need another Spider action figure. Because I want my own. I wish you could press a button that made it yell obscenities. Why aren't I allowed to make these sorts of decisions?

Awesome
* Whenever I was sick as a kid (like I am today) my mother would make me a big bowl of homemade popcorn, and we would watch Ferris Bueller's Day Off. It was our tradition. It's our 'sick movie.' So I love this website for what it represents of my childhood, as much as for the website itself. Seriously, I cannot stop pressing the button. I keep pressing it. I challenge you to only press it once.

Movie!Win
* Let's be clear: This movie is getting a Win only because it has Gary Oldman. Many movies have gotten a Win solely for that reason. He is MADE of Win. Some believe he invented Win (Actually, that would be Eric Stoltz, but the mistake is understandable). And I do like Denzel Washington, usually. He is fine. He can exist. But he is no Gary Oldman. Then again, few people are. So if I see The Book of Eli, and I probably will, it will be only because of Gary Oldman. And NO OTHER REASON.

Wow
* Scariest. GIF. EVER:

[Found at Best Week Ever]
That is all. Except now I want cupcakes.

Animals
* This may be the cutest thing I've seen all day:

[Found at LA Times]
It's a wee doggy nursing red panda babies! DAW! Inter-species adoption!

Girly Shit
* These are the ugliest shoes I have ever seen in my entire life of shopping:

[Found at Shoe Lust]
They depress me. I would give them to someone I desperately hate. I can't think of anyone I hate that much. These shoes DEFY HATRED. LOOK AT THEM.

WTF, INTERNET?
* This is the worst thing I have ever seen in my entire life:

[Found at Tofslie]
Popeye, WHY?!

Life Lessons

[Found at Indexed]
I'd rather have a centaur than a hybrid.

Music
* This is so cool. It's a complete visualization of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony:

Pretty colors.....

Technology
* Behold! The world's tiniest printer:

I want it. It is tiny and small and I like tiny and small printers. Mine is older than me. No, I'm serious. It has been around longer than I have. It's been updated so I can use it with my laptop, but really. It's huge. If I drop it on you, you're going to die horribly. So it's a weapon, of sorts, but I'd rather have a cute little printer I can carry, and a taser.

OK, I am sick and feel gross. So I am going to lie down and watch TV and read comics, and generally be unpleasant to all those around me. I have EARNED it with my disease. Sinus infections SUCK. Pity me.
- LV

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Cyb-arachno-rama? Spider Robots? Do Spiders Have Robots?

Blog
* Holy SHIT I hope not. Title is from Invader Zim.

* Erin drew this. I scripted it as a joke. She made it amazing. When Olive Snook met Rorschach:

I think this should be a TV series. Someone call FOX.

World Peace Through Jackie Earle Haley
* Go to World Peace Through Jackie Earle Haley. Listen to the podcast. Be awed by the supreme AMAZING of it all. The girls who do this podcast are hotter than Jesus, tougher than beef jerky, and smarter than advanced biology. And it's all thanks to Jackie Earle Haley.

Geek Want
* I've shown you business cards made with lasers, business cards made of meat, and business cards cried from the tears of unicorns. But none of them compare to this:

[Found at DVICE]
You have an NES controller business card? Really? Why yes, I'll give you all my money, Mr. Shady Immoral-Pants. Because no one who owns such a card could do anything remotely evil. This card is a force of pure good. And I need it. THIS is why I have no money! At last! It all makes sense now!

Awesome
* I watched this GIF over and over and over:

[Made by Luna-Wolfdemon]
Look at his wiggly hips! He is all wiggly, and he maybe kills people, in his head, or not!
The movie was better than the book. I will say this.

WTF, INTERNET?
* This may be partly because I'm especially annoyed by the idiocy on the internet this morning, or because I don't really like Star Wars:

[Found at BoingBoing]
But I don't think so. This is the ugliest fucking Jabba the Hutt costume I have ever seen in my entire life. It makes me want to scream in terror and disgust. The exposed human hands don't help the illusion at all. And it costs $70.00, probably because it has a built-in fan to keep you from dying from heat stroke while dressed as a fucking moron.
I want to know how you walk in this costume. Then I want to pay the neighborhood kids to jump on your tail, knocking you down, and you will roll around on the ground like a giant slug while they laugh and scamper away.
And then, as if I wasn't annoyed ENOUGH by the idea of spending all that money on an ugly, stupid plastic costume that makes you look like a giant turd with a face, Cory Doctorow had to go and make it about sex, and I feel unclean for ALWAYS.

Movie!Win
* David Cronenberg, who I love, is adapting Don DeLillo, who I also love. There is nothing negative about this, AT ALL. Oh, it's Cosmopolis. That's the book he's adapting. I kind of had hoped it would be White Noise, if only to cause 99% of the people I went to college with to burst into liberal art tears. OK, I might cry too, just out of moral obligation.
Now I want to reread Underworld and Falling Man. Those are some damn good books. And rewatch eXistenZ, which I loved and is in my opinion one of Cronenberg's most underrated films. And it has Christopher Eccleston. AND WIllem Dafoe.

Daily Hot Guy

[Alexander Skarsgard, AKA Eric Northman in True Blood, who was NOT in the season finale of True Blood nearly enough, although while he was onscreen he played Yahtzee and was vampire-humped by the Queen of Vampires. Frankly I'm sort of hoping he kills Bill, absconds with Sookie and Sam, and the show becomes like Big Love only with vampires and pron and no Bill Paxton nudity and more guys than girls, and Lafayette will be Eric's one true love, and Hoyt and Jessica will make up, and Terry will be happy, the end.]

Wow
* This is the weirdest egg-related video I have ever seen in the history of the universe. I am so fascinated by it. A BIG EGG. HOLY SHIT.

I wasn't being sarcastic. This video fascinates me. Although I keep pretending the guy with the eggs is Alpha Wash, which I admit is strange, but HOW FUNNY would that have been?

Animals
* My friend sent me this picture. I screamed.

She's in Australia now, where people who send their friends stuff like this go.

Girly Shit
* I think I need a category called, WTF, FASHION? Because shit like this is NOT OK:

[Found at Fashionologie]
I am not wearing that. Ever. If the options are wearing that or a fucking onesie, I'll go with the onesie, and you KNOW how I feel about those. That is how stupid this is.
And WHY is the model wearing a head cover that makes her resemble the mannequins from the Ninth Doctor's first episode of Doctor Who? Remember that? That was a damn good episode.

[Found at Fashionologie]
Yeah, I'm not wearing that either. I am neither a pimp nor a rock star. I COULD BE, though. You don't know what my schedule is like.

Music
*
see more Funny Graphs

Technology
* When I lived in a high rise in the financial district of New York City, I lived up on the 18th floor. With a crazy person, but that's another story, and one for which I need a lot of booze.
Anyway, that year was probably one of the most awful, insane years of my life, what with graduating college, living with a mad roommate, and finding a service that would deliver alcohol to my door.
Because my roommate hated the smell of cigarette smoke (even though she KNEW I was a smoker when we agreed to room together - sorry, another story) I would have to lean halfway out the window of our apartment, my upper body balanced on the ledge as I smoked a cigarette. There was a very tiny ledge outside my building, but since I fall down when I'm standing still, I was not about to head out there and risk plummeting to my death just because of a nicotine addiction.
During one of these cigarette balancing acts, I happened to glance over at another window. My neighbor, a man I had never met, was standing out on the ledge (it was about 18 inches wide). He was barbecuing. In his bathrobe. It was starting to snow. He waved at me. I waved back.
I never met my barbecuing neighbor, but I think of him whenever I catch the scent of hot dogs. And if I could find out who he was and where he lived, I'd send him this:

[Found at DVICE]
It's a compact barbecue for the urban dweller. Take it, Ledge Cooker, and be happy.

OK, off for now.
- LV

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Mexican Werewolves Are Coming Up From Mexico & Selling Crack.

Blog
* Not WEREWOLVES! Title is from Reno 911!.

World Peace Through Jackie Earle Haley
* Episode seven is up, and it is AMAZERING. We discuss the Voice Mail Of Win (from Mr. Haley himself), The Scream Awards (have you voted yet? Really? I can tell if you're lying), Twilight fans, how Watchmen fans need to represent, extended sex scenes (haha, extend), Dr. Manhattan's awful pauses, and Jackie Earle Haley's epic perfomance.
Good people listen to this podcast. Decent people. Attractive people. Implying nothing.

And if you haven't, for some mysterious and unfathomable reason, voted for Jackie Earle Haley and Watchmen at the Scream awards, go here and do it now.

Geek Want
* I'm still relieved that they got the REAL voice actors back for Futurama, because no one else is allowed to play Fry but Billy West. It's in the Bible, TRUTH. And I want to reenact the entire series with these:

[Found at io9]
Look at the cute little Zapp Branigan! But lock him up at night. That doll is a PERVERT. I just want a tiny Bender. Is that too much to ask?

Awesome
* Whatever shreds of sanity I was clinging to are now gone, forever, burned up in a fiery inferno of cow crazy. I hope madness is pleasant. Danceswithelvis found this, and showed it to me. She is an agent of CHAOS.

WTF, INTERNET?
* THE RETURN OF THE TOILET TO FEAR AND LOATHING:

[Found at DVICE]
I know you missed it. This toilet turns into a urinal! And then it self-cleans, with ultraviolet light and steam. Now, my cell phone is held together with tape, and needs to be smacked against a solid object before it accepts calls.

My issue is that think of the hundreds of thousands of dollars of technology we waste on these things. It's a toilet. It should not be more high-tech than my iPod. Seriously.

And I know toilet!rage is apparently a staple of my blog, but really, DO WE NEED THIS? People are starving and selling organs that they NEED, and scientists, who are supposed to make the world a better place, are showing up and going, 'Look! You don't need to clean this toi-urinal-let!' But no one cares, because we're all DEAD.

Some of my anger may be misdirected. But it's a goddamn toilet. Waste of technology FAIL. I refuse to get excited about a toilet. I have standards, dammit.

All that aside, I may have laughed heartily at the little mannequin, and I do not know why.

Daily Hot Guy

[Alan Rickman as Professor Severus Snape in the newest Harry Potter movie. I am convinced they are going to fuck up the movie version of book seven, which if you are a Snape fan is the most critical book, in no small part because Alan Rickman is getting on in years, despite his lusty baritone, black hair, and sneer of contempt, and will not be spry enough to run around like Snap is expected to. I mean, Snape is 38 in the last book. Alan Rickman is 64 NOW. DOES ANYONE ELSE SEE AN ISSUE HERE? Um. Wrong category. Snape is hotter in the books. But Mr. Rickman is indisputably one of the sexiest geriatrics.]

Journalism
* This is a really interesting article on pop culture, or what some would call monoculture. Just because it has changed forms in no way implies that the beast is dead. And you should all read Transmetropolitan, at LEAST the section on monoculture, because it essentially states that this is what we chose. After all, if we weren't all choosing it, it wouldn't be mainstream, would it? No, it would not. That is so depressing. BUT it doesn't discuss the happy medium, which is more realistic: people who like some mainstream stuff, but also some obscure things. And what qualifies as mainstream. I've only heard one Jonas Brothers song, ever, and couldn't tell you about them. But I love Lady Gaga. But I really dig Billy Talent right now. But what's popular here may be obscure elsewhere, and vice versa...
My point? Chill the fuck out. Like what you like. you should look for unique things because they're fun and interesting, but someone else undoubtably already is a huge fan. It's not a contest, not a pissing match over who's the edgiest or most mainstream. Pop culture - mainstream and otherwise - is supposed to be fun.
Which is why I still like Michael Jackson:


AND why I enjoy making T-shirts for movies, because they don't make T-shirts for certain movies that aren't Twilight:

Even though it's a major studio release movie.... but I MADE the shirt....
This may have all been an elaborate scheme to post pictures of my new jacket.
And let me be clear: I don't hate Twilight because everyone else likes it (hello, I like the Beatles), I hate Twilight because it sucks.

Apocalypse How?
* This category has become very plant-focused. I no longer trust weeds, and run screaming at the first sight of grass. This is problematic, since I live in the suburbs. Anyway, in Detroit, plants are reclaiming abandoned houses:

[Found at Neatorama]
Yes, it's terribly pretty, but it used to be someone's home, and now it's a pile of green shit. That's scary and sad, and awful. And pretty soon all our houses could look all mossy and empty, as Mother Earth essentially says, 'Fuck this shit,' and puts us all up for adoption.

Movie!Win
* Look, it's got Crispin Glover, Alan Rickman, Johnny Depp, Stephen Fry, and Helena Bonham Carter, and it's directed by the man who did Ed Wood. Of COURSE I'm going to continue to be excited about Alice in Wonderland:

Although I'm not sure I can handle 3-D. I mean, Helena Bonham Carter screaming in 3-D? With THAT head? Child therapy bills will skyrocket. It's going to be GREAT.

Right, to work. I know it's Tuesday, but it feels like Monday, but ultimately, I just want to curl up and go back to sleep. I had the BEST dream about Gareth David-Lloyd trying to sell me a beautiful pair of tan gloves. No, I don't want to know what it means, thanks.
- LV

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I'm Very Discreet... But I'll Haunt Your Dreams..

Blog
* I say this in entirely inappropriate situations. Title is from The 40-Year-Old-Virgin.

T-Shirts
* I made more T-Shirts, because today was the best day ever. If you're following me on Twitter, you've already seen these, but you can see them more than once, right?
This is one side of my Watchmen tote. It reads, 'The Squid Is A Lie,' an idea I totally stole from AdrianJohnson, with Rorschch's signature underneath:

On the other side is a 'pretty butterfly':


This is the front of my Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog T-Shirt. It reads, 'I Want To Be Like Bad Horse.' It's hard to read because I'm wearing it:

The back reads, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, but it is actually impossible to take a picture of your own back.

This is the front of my Firefly shirt. It reads 'Browncoat':

This is the back. It reads, 'I Aim To Misbehave':


This is the front of my Doctor Who shirt. It reads 'Team Gallifrey':

This is the back, with a picture of the TARDIS:


AND, if you like these shirts, and want your own, you can GET ONE, made by me. All you have to do is enter the AWESOME contest at World Peace Through Jackie Earle Haley. AND not only will you get a T-SHIRT, made for you, you will also get an icon made by Caro, AND fanart made by DancesWithElvis. HOW amazing would that be?

And what do you have to do to get all these treasures? Bitch about Shutter Island being pushed back! We want you to write a brief (70 word) Rorschach's Journal entry about Who Runs Paramount? It's a conspiracy, I TELLS YOU! So go enter the contest, and WIN SHIT. It's what Rorschach would do. Hurm.
- LV

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The Eyes Are The Groin Of The Head.

Blog
* Then what the hell is the mouth? Title is from The Office.

World Peace Through Jackie Earle Haley
* New Podcast is up, people, and we tried to sit through the remake of Bad News Bears, and it was worse than I expected, and the PAIN was almost too much to bear. We watched it so you don't have to, because that's the kind of girls we are. Also, remember that Contest I told you about? Where the winner gets read on the podcast, and wins a T-Shirt made by me and fanart/icons from Caro? It's still open, and if you don't enter, they will let Uwe Boll direct the next Star Trek, and the world will collapse. Also, Jackie Earle Haley will be displeased. Nobody wants that. EVER.

People I Love
* William Shatner is like a god. A ridiculous, mischievous god who was a terrible actor, then made a career out of being terrible, then suddenly became sort of wonderful on Boston Public. Anyway, his singing is legendary, although not necessarily a good legend. But this is. This is William Shatner reading former Alaskan governor Sarah Palin's Tweets. The heavens open up, and the angels sing in ecstasy:

This is why Conan needs to stay on TV.

Stuff To Live
* This clock has so much that makes me want it:

[Found at LikeCool]
First, I can hang it anywhere. Second, it changes from black to white depending on the light (so I would spend hours flicking the light switch on and off. Lastly, I love clocks, because they are in like five of my fandoms (OK, two, shut up), and I've been on a Heroes kick this week, since I'm basically unable to leave until my house-sitting is complete. Plus, black and white? Yeah, that other fandom. What? A girl can like clocks.

Movie!Fail
* Look, I liked Bad Boys. It was before Will Smith decided he was the Greatest Thing Ever In The History of Man, and it had explosions, and the sequel had some of the best action sequences I've seen in a while, and both movies helped to facilitate the existence of Hot Fuzz, and they could exist for that alone.
But we do not need a third one.
But in all honesty, I will probably see it, in disguise, my cheeks burning with shame. I love these movies the same way I love most stupid action movies. So terrible, they become terribly awesome.
This is not so much Movie!Fail as MY fail, because I should rise above such films and only see Serious Cinema, like Schindler's List. But did Schindler's List have car explosions? No, it did not. TRUFAX. Read the article, because the checklist of what Bad Boys III needs is hilarious, and sadly true.

Jackie Earle Haley
* Did you enter the podcast contest? DID YOU? Because Jackie wants you to. Click. It's easy, it's fun, it involves Rorschach, and you GET STUFF.

Look at that BAGQMF. Now I want THOSE sunglasses, too. But not as much as I want the blue ones. Those are the sunglasses of my SOUL. I don't have to know what it means, OK? Mr. Haley is so awesome he defies logic.

* SPIKE did a list of the best comic book movie casting, and Mr. Haley came in at number eight with his performance as Rorschach in Watchmen.
Now, I will not argue with putting Ron Perlman and Robert Downey, Jr. ahead of him (I COULD, don't get me wrong, but they're all so frigging talented, and I love them, and their movies, that all three being on the damn list is enough to satisfy me). And I thought Gary Oldman was sickeningly good in The Dark Knight, among a cast of giants. But Patrick Stewart as Professor Xavier is number 1? No. This could be due to that Extras clip, but no. Also, no to Catwoman. Michelle Pfeiffer was great, but A) she's the only girl on the list, which bugs me, and B) she should not be ahead of Jackie Earle Haley. AT ALL. Although maybe I should just be grateful Jessica Alba isn't on the list, and shut my mouth.

Daily Hot Guy

[Sendhil Ramamurthy, AKA Mohinder from Heroes, who has gone from being one of my favorite characters to one that I keep saying, 'Shut up and stand there and look pretty.' He's no Sylar, but he's almost insanely attractive, to the point where if I met him I'd poke his arm to confirm that he's real. Also, his hair is great. And his accent is hot. Season 3 of Heroes is much better than Season 2, and Sylar is in a suit and has a Boston accent, and Mohinder is hopping around shirtless. Plot? Wait, Heroes has a PLOT? I kid, I kid.]

TeeVee
* FINALLY, they've announced V will come out on November 3 (what day of the week is that? and don't I have ENOUGH TV to watch? My DVR already hates me), and Human Target is getting good early notices, and everyone is excited about it, as they should be, and also Glee. Oh, and they talk about other shows, including Lost, which I had to give up on, because really, I give myself enough stress without spending my evenings frantically rereading philosophy books and searching for an answer to the island mystery. Also, favorite character is dead. Also, the show makes no sense.

Geek Want
* As I've said before, Star Wars is probably the only fandom I haven't flirted with (OK, that's a huge lie, but it's one of the major ones that never caught my interest) so naturally it's my little brother's favorite thing ever, and he made me go see the animated movie in theaters, which was like being tortured by tiny, badly drawn lunatics for two hours.
Even with all that, I think this is pretty damn cute:

[Found at BoingBoing]
Even though, isn't Jabba the Hut like gross and pervy? And not snuggly? All I remember is him licking Leia when she was in that metal bathing suit, and being really grossed out.

Awesome

DancesWithElvis sent me this. I don't know what I did to her, but it must have been terrible.

WTF, INTERNET?
* I have no problem with the people who are selling Ghosts in Bottles. There is no law against selling insane shit, and that is your right, and this is America, after all, and if you want to sell bottles claiming they are haunted, you go right ahead.
No. My issue is with the people who buy these things.
WHAT is going on in your mind, in your life, that you are going to spend money on this? Look at it:

[Found at Geekologie]
Religious implications of trapping souls in bottles aside, WHAT? Why would you do this? It's not like it's the ghost of someone you know, which would be sick but at least I could understand that ('I'll show you, Mom! Look how messy my room is! And you can't nag me, because you're DEAD! AND I'm watch R-rated movies! HAHA!'). You'd still be crazy, but understandably so.
But why would you want the soul of a strange dead person in a bottle, in your house?
And a certificate? Guys, I make those at work all the time. We have a seal-maker. It's fun. But I could make Ghost Hunter bullshit too, if I was so inclined. I DON'T, because I'm not crazy.
Lastly, I don't know if ghosts are real. But if they are so stupid and pathetic that they can get STUCK in bottles and trapped by idiots with seal-makers, this does not bode well for the after-life.
PS This is what we like to call a scam. Also, it's not real. Send me your twenty bucks. At least I'm honest.

Have to go get ready. So many projects/assignments/etc, plus a regular job, plus today is the Best Day Ever, for reasons I will not divulge just yet. I will celebrate by getting sushi for dinner, so SUCK IT, and also finally making and modeling some of my shirts, because I'm happy, and would like to share the happy with the universe.
Not like that. Perverts.
- LV

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As Private Parts To The Gods Are We: They Play With Us For Their Sport!

Blog
* The gods are a bunch of sick bastards, aren't they? Title is from Blackadder.

Life
* I am watching Sponngebob, because I can't find the remote, and if I put anything on that I actually want to watch on the TV, this will never get done. FEET ARE DISGUSTING.

* Today I am making my tote. With any luck, I will post pictures today or tomorrow, depending on how much I get done, and how much I screw it up. Be excited.

* I am going to watch Torchwood and Heroes today, because it is raining buckets, and I am house-sitting. And I got like no sleep, because I couldn't fall asleep until around 3:30 AM, and then was woken up by family tear-assing around the house at like 6:00 AM. I went back to sleep until 9:00 AM. That makes, what, five hours of sleep? I don't know. Math is hard.

World Peace Through Jackie Earle Haley
* Do you like contests? Do you like free stuff? Do you like Watchmen? Do you hate the fact that Shutter Island was pushed back to February? Good, this shows that you are still sane. So bravo.
It is also a clear sign that you need to go enter our Who Runs Paramount? contest over at World Peace Through Jackie Earle Haley. You will get so much free shit, it will blow your mind. Free fanart, free icons, free t-shirts.... and a fun contest. I promise, we don't want your organs. So go to the site, read up, and enter. Because if you don't want free stuff, the world is doomed.

TeeVee
* So this is what our TV week will look like, America. And I for one am excited. Be excited, BE BE excited! Even though it fails to mention Castle. Captain Hammer is displeased. This is network TV, keep in mind. But everyone is excited about Human Target. EVERYONE. So it should be aired NOW, especially since A) Shutter Island was delayed, for sinister reasons, B) Chi McBride, and C) JACKIE EARLE HALEY HAS A MUSTACHE.

Geek Want
* DO WANT. DO WANT. This has so many uses:

[Found at NerdApproved]
It's an alarm clock, and you have to shoot the alien with a gun to turn it off. SO it wakes you up, and focuses you, AND works on your aim. It is so versatile. Although, I think that if you don't shoot the alien in a timely fashion, the alien should burst out of your chest. That wakes you up almost as good as coffee.

Awesome
* There is a religion based on Shia LaBeouf.

[Found at Shiantology]
I don't want this to be a joke. Because it is so funny and wonderful and entertaining. And it reminds me of all the religions in Transmetropolitan, which has been on my mind lately, if you haven't been able to notice.
Incidentally, I think there should be a religion based on Jackie Earle Haley's arms. They are strong and wise. Would make as much sense as anything, am I right? Who wants to donate to my charity?!

WTF, INTERNET?
* I know it's a TV show. I have seen the show:

[Found at NerdApproved]
But there is no way, in this life or the next, that I am EVER going to insert change into ANY anus, plastic or otherwise, and frankly this stops being funny real quickly. And if you have one of these, I think we need to reevaluate your life, and maybe get you a nice piggy bank.

Daily Hot Guy

[Steve Buscemi, who is one of those inexplicable crushes that I can only defend in Reservoir Dogs and Airheads and Living In Oblivion, because the man really can work facial hair, and long hair, and he has nice eyes. PLUS he's friends with Quentin Tarantino. All the people I like are friends with each other, and hang out together. Now I'm sad.]

Movie!Win
* Hellboy III is going to happen! GET EXCITED. We just need it to happen before Ron Perlman is too old, so move your ass and make The Hobbit. AND BABY HELLBOYS. And the movies make me cry, and Ron Perlman deserves an Oscar for everything he's ever done, and have you SEEN City of Lost Children? And I love him, OK? I want a hug from him. And Guillermo del Toro is life-changing as a director. So yeah, this is all just a huge geek-out on my part, because I love Hellboy so much, and Mike Mignola is a nice, talented man, and yeah, I'm not justifying myself to YOU people.

Wow
* Yeah, I am not going to staying at this hotel, ever, OK?

[Found at BoingBoing]
Because I would spend my entire 'vacation' screaming in abject, hysterical, soul-wrenching terror. I'd wake up, and howl, and upset my neighbors, and ruin everyone's vacation, and it would just be awful. There are more weird-ass hotels, but I am still too scared by the idea of essentially LIVING in an airplane. NO. DO NOT WANT. I need to go lie down.

Animals
* OMG a baby wolf cub has been adopted by a doggie.

[Found at Neatorama]
They howl at the moon together. The doggie takes care of the wolf puppy. This is like a children's book come to life. I want a wolf puppy. My dog would be scared of it. My dog is scared of everything, really.

Girly Shit
* I hate this girl's outfit. Because it's a onesie, I think, and those should be illegal.Because even the most beautiful people look like assholes in them, and that's sad, so let's ban them from the universe, OK? All that aside, I want these socks:

[Found at IncredibleThings]
No, ignore the onesie. It shames us all. The bag is pretty fabulous though. So, the socks and the bag can exist. The rest of the outfit needs to be burned. With free fire.

Music
* I would babysit this kid, for FREE, so long as he played the guitar for me. And gets a haircut.

Johnny Cash greets you when you die. If you were a good person, he sings to you. If you were bad, he hands you over to Alan Moore's beard. Then the screaming begins.

Technology
* Yeah, this is superfluous:

[Found at CrunchGear]
This is a piece of equipment that allows you to translate your dogs' barks. This is pointless. I have a dog. I love my dog. He's awesome. I mean, look at him:

But he is not complicated. By any stretch of the imagination. Here are his emotions: hungry, sleepy, scared, happy, guilty, have to go to the bathroom (which is a doggy emotion. And maybe a human emotion.) I do not need to pay money to find out what he's thinking. I can assume any serious problems can be dealt with by liberal giving of biscuits. The point is, I'll be impressed when you make one of these for cats. Who knows WHAT goes on in their minds?

Watchmen
* HOW DID MY GOOGLE SEARCHES END UP ON THE INTERNET?!


* I love Terry Giliam, in part because he is one of those people that I sincerely believe are not of this world, and also because he made Brazil and Twelve Monkeys and MANY OTHER MOVIES OF WIN. But I'm happy he didn't make Watchmen. Because the last movie I saw of his was Tideland, and it upset me and confused me, and made me feel bad, and I don't know what was going on in it, and maybe Mr. Gilliam will redeem himself with his newest film (I hope he does. I love him) but I suspect his version of the comic would have been... bizarre. And the squid would have looked like a giant vagina. I'm sorry, it had to be said. And he didn't really like the movie, which is fine and I don't care, but he would have cast... I don't know, someone WRONG for Rorschach, and the Comedian wouldn't have been in it. Read his interview about the movie, if you doubt me.

* Megan sent me this. I snerked:

[Made by Luna-WolfDemon]
If Rorschach was in the Olympics, there would be no drug use. None at all. He'd make an example of one of them, and it would be the most polite Olympics ever. World Peace Through Rorschach. And you thought we were kidding.

Russell Brand
I have no idea WHAT is going on in this video, but Russell Brand is shirtless and has what appears to be a ukulele, and sometimes I just don't need any more than that.

OK, I have to get stuff done, INCLUDING:
- Tote
- Writing my comic
- Reading Transmetropolitan, and taking notes
- Friends coming and going all week, which I am looking forward to. People win!
- Other stuff I can't remember, because I haz EXHAUSTION, dammit.
- LV

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