Saturday, May 9, 2009

Alan Moore Sleeps Once Every 2 Weeks For Half An Hour Standing Up With His Eyes Open & He Looks Pissed Off.

Tattoos
* Great article on how, when the shit hits the fan, tattoo artists will help each other out. Because they are generally good, decent people. Oh god, the coffee isn't work. AM I IMMUNE?

Nature
* People who go hunting for food and sustenance are fine. People who do it to pit their wits against little bunnies so they can hang their heads on the wall (the bunnies') and brag about their 'leet skills' are douchebags. So I derive great pleasure from the knowledge that people are using robot animals to get poachers, and punish them for sucking so much.

America (Fuck Yeah!)
* This is a very funny map of the meanings of many Native-American-named towns in America. That was a terrible sentence.

[Found at Neatorama]
Personally, I want to live in 'Shakes Himself.'

Depression Session
* This is a homeless shelter that is solar-powered, and made in Japan:

[Found at Neatorama]
This is rather depressing. Even when we HAVE no economy, and the world is shrouded in darkness, and we all live in shitty homeless forts and eat cold canned ham, and the Japanese homeless will be watching TV, listening to the radio, and SAILING their forts when the floods come.

Girly Shit
* These are easily the most insane pants I've seen in weeks:

[Found at GoFugYourself]
I just needed to share that with someone.

Tattoo of Win
* Some people are horrifying.

[Found at LOLTATZ]
I could never love anyone who would get this tattoo. I draw the LINE.

Books
* Remember when James Frey wrote A Million Little Pieces? And everyone loved it, or hated it, but it was The Book? And Oprah weed herself with excitement? Then it came out that he'd made some parts up, and everyone was SCANDALIZED?
(OK, my two cents: Oprah was bullshit. Of course he made some shit up, he's a writer. Writers make shit up. He wasn't reporting on the fucking war in Iraq, or doing an expose on 9/11. He was writing about his own experiences, which are ALWAYS up for re-imagining. And Oprah went from defending him to YELLING at him on national TV, which is why all these years later I still dislike her, because she's a fucking hypocrite. Bottom line? I really liked the book. I thought it was interesting and well-written and had some beautiful parts to it, and it spoke to me. When I found out he'd made a lot up? So? The BOOK didn't change. You either liked it or didn't like it, based on the fucking book. Also, My Friend Leonard, the follow-up, made me cry. And Oprah sucks.)
Anyway, in the paperback version of his excellent novel, Bright Shiny Morning, he is reportedly releasing a short story loosely based on what happened with Oprah. And he hints that he has actual tapes of the talk show host being awful, just like in the story. I guess it ISN'T always good when stories are based on truth, IS IT?

Food
* This is a generator that tells you if it's hot enough outside to drink iced coffee. In case you live in a basement, like I used to, or if you're unsure the social appropriateness of drinking an iced latte during a blizzard.

Words of Win
* Further proof of the evil of Apple (I love you! Don't crash my computer!)
fail owned pwned pictures
see more pwn and owned pictures

Zombies
* This makes me think of Men In Black, and the Noisy Cricket gun, and how weird everyone thought I was for preferring Tommy Lee Jones to Will Smith, but even as a child I knew Will Smith was a tool and not to be trusted, and one dead he would make a movie about Killer JellyFish and RUIN a childhood classic with his evil spawn.

[Found at Neatorama]
Moving on. This gun is tiny and therefore easy to carry on the run. Plus, it shoots bullets, and the main point is that it can destroy the brain. This would be a good emergency weapon, or if you're fleeing your site and need one or two guns to carry along. Or for children (after you've explained the Zed Menace and taught them how to use the gun, obviously. Safety first!)

Politics
* Sarah Palin is being presented with a gun by the NRA. Insert phallus jokes.

More later, maybe. Attention needed elsewhere. Also, coffee failing my horribly, need to go to phase 2 and inject myself with caffeine.
- LV

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