Big Damn Heroes.

Blog
* This needs to be added to my list of T-Shirts I must make. Title is from Firefly.

Comics
* I don't usually follow Spider-Man's orders, but I do believe in the importance of voting:

That being said, I'd do pretty much anything The Beast said. You don't mess with him. He's a large blue dude. You don't piss off large blue dudes.

Girly!Want
* I need everything in the following picture, and you all need to buy it for me:

[Found at Haute Macabre]
Why do you need to buy it for me? Oh, there's an excellent reason.... but I can't tell you. It's a secret. Just trust me, and send money.

Food!Win
* This is the cutest cake since the Wall-E cake. Maybe even cuter:

[Found at Geekologie]
Yes, it is in fact cuter. But not too cute to eat. In fact, it's too cute NOT to eat. Look, I don't have to make sense, it's a goddamn Ewok cake and I need to nom it RIGHT NOW.

Words Of Win
* So I think Heroes is canceled (the information is confusing and contradictory, and Greg Grunberg keeps saying it isn't, and I suspect NBC doesn't really know, or they're worried Zachary Quinto will get into method acting and try to study their brains).

Which is too bad, because for a while it was a brilliant show with much awesome and sexy guys angsting all over the place. Which I enjoy. I hope they do a TV movie series finale, because the show deserves a good send-off. And maybe Christopher Eccleston will come back with his pigeons. A girl can dream. But I digress:

I think if Sylar and Peter had just hugged more, the show would have remained good. PS Claire annoys me.

Childhood!Fail
* It's not unplugged, is it?

[Found at Friggin Random]
Nope, it totally isn't unplugged. Who wants to field trip to the hospital?

Daily Hot Guy

[James Marsters, who is inarguable proof that an English accent makes even hot guys hotter. It's inexplicable, and unquestionable. Anyway, he's in a suit, and if you pretend he's speaking to you in a British accent, life is quite wonderful.]

Daily Icon

[Xena, who hung out with Bruce Campbell, which is even FURTHER proof she's a goddess.]

Iron Man 2
* Hopefully you've seen it by now, and SAM ROCKWELL was in it, which I knew and then forgot about, because I am a terrible person. I love Sam Rockwell. I want him to be the villain next time. That would delight me. Anyway, here's a clip:

I saw it twice in one weekend. Actually within 24 hours. Not on purpose. Honest. Tony Stark rules.

Whut?
* Continuing my theory that People Are Awful/Confusing/Frightening, I present Ginormous Mermaid Bosoms On A Tiny Little Girl:

[Found at World Of Wonder]
I'm not even going into 'Mermaid Assistant.'

Doctor Who
* The Doctor in LEGO form! Lookit! Nine! With a Banana! Random Capitalization!

[Found at Neatorama]
I miss Nine. I want a Three Doctors with Nine, Ten, and Eleven. Please? I've been a very good girl. In my mind.

True Blood
* True Blood is getting another werewolf this season. And, since it's True Blood, there will be enormous amounts of nudity:

[Found at World of Wonder]
Frankly, as long as Eric Northman shows up and is hot and evil and text messaging people, I don't give a shit what happens.

Supernatural
* Rather than post a review of last night's season finale of Supernatural (as I screamed on Twitter, TOO MANY EMOTIONS TO EXPRESS WITH MERE WORDS, BUT I THINK IT WAS GOOD, YES?), here's a GIF that makes life worth living:

[Swiped from Miss Bushido, who shows me such goodness]

Epic!Win
* This sums up my entire view of internet life:

[Found at Very Demotivational]

Books
* Sigh..... Here's a review of 1984 from Amazon:

At first I did like the book. Then it just started to suck right around the time when Winston was getting sexually involved with his girl friend. I hated the book so much that I forgot her name. The first hundred or so pages i liked, then it just got really boring. So II highly reccomend that you DO NOT READ THIS BOOK. And please for the love of God don't read that "Brave New World" book by Hoxley. It is twice as worse as 1984. To put it bluntly, DON'T READ ANY GEORGE ORWELL. Your just waisting your time.

You misspelled 'Huxley.' And you used the incorrect form of 'your.' And I hate you. I hate you so much. Frankly, I don't think George Orwell WANTS you to like his book. There's a review of A Tree Grows In Brooklyn, but it made me feel violent and shouty, so click the link to read it.

Stupidity should be painful. Wait, is that why I have a sinus headache? DON'T ANSWER THAT.
- LV

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David Attended Public Schools, So He Confuses Hitler With Anne Frank.

Blog
* Well, I can- yeah, that's just awful. Title is from Mr. Show With Bob & David.

Comics
* These comic covers freak me out. I do not like these. Why does Mickey look like he took some bad acid?

[Found at Boing Boing]
INTERNET, STOP MAKING MY CHILDHOOD MEMORIES THINGS OF HORROR.

Food!Win
* Holy deep fried beefy ricey goodness!

[Found at This Is Why You're Fat]
Meat on a stick! Well, to be accurate, they're rice cakes wrapped in hamburger patty and pan fried. ON STICKS. Serve these at your next party, and then don't share any with your friends. That'll show them. They know what they did.

Life Lessons
* 'Wow that rain sure is wet, isn't it?'

[Found at Indexed]

Words of Win

see more Epic Fails
Companies: Check your spelling before you go to press, OK?

Doctor Who
* Remember when I posted the Doctor Who credits done like Firefly, and our collective minds shattered under the force of the awesome?
They did them Angel-style too:


Torchwood
* Guys, this just happened, for real: I just found, right this second, Torchwood credits done Angel style:

Angel's theme song may be my favorite of any Joss Whedon show. And I know there's a lot of debate between fans as to the similarities and differences of these two television creators, but as far as I'm concerned, THEY KILL WHAT I LOVE, and that's as far as the debate goes for me.

Daily Hot Guy(s)

[Zachary Quinto, AKA Sylar from Heroes, and Zachary Levi, AKA Chuck from Chuck. I have no idea what's going on in this picture, but CAN YOU FEEL THE BROMANCE? A TALE OF TWO ZACHARYS? Maybe there will be a Chuck/Heroes crossover, and Adam Baldwin will beat the everloving shit out of Peter Petrelli (Yes, I admit he's very attractive, but I still want him to get beat up on the show). This picture was sent to me by Laroux74, who is simply awesome beyond words.]

Daily Icon

[Exene Cervenka, lead singer of X (alongside John Doe), one of my favorite bands of ALL TIME. She also sang with The Knitters, and is one of the punk icons. Sadly, she has been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, but in true Exene Cervenka style, she's not letting it get her down. X has ben supporting Sweet Charity for ages, and you should too.]



Epic!Fail
* It's worse when they have no idea who he is, besides, 'a revolutionary':

see more deMotivational Posters

People I Love
* I got a reward for blogging for a month straight!

SOAK IN THE GLORY, BITCHES. My friends are cooler than your friends. Unless you ARE my friend... then... never mind. Made by the truly epic Danielle, whose website you should visit as soon as you're done here.

I'm going to England this Friday, for a week, so I probably won't blog until I get back. JUST LETTING YOU ALL KNOW.

I may be slightly panic-stricken about flying. I hate flying. DAMMIT, SCIENCE, CAN WE GET TELEPORTERS BEFORE FRIDAY? PLEASE?

- LV

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If She Talked Any More Shit She'd Be Shaped Like A Toilet.

Blog
* COMING UP NEXT WEEK: People-shaped toilets! Brought to you by the internet! Title is from True Blood.

Words of Win
* I have some issues with this story:

A 14-YEAR-OLD boy drank gasoline for five years to obtain “energy” – just as his idols “Bumble Bee” or “Optimus Prime” do in “Transformers,” the Sichuan-based West China Metropolis Daily reported yesterday.

A) This kid drank gasoline for five YEARS? HOW IS HE ALIVE?
B) His parents knew about this and DID NOTHING? I don't have kids, but if I did, and I found my child drinking gasoline to be like a giant robot, I'd switch it, I don't know, APPLE JUICE? Something that won't STRIP YOUR INNARDS?
C) He kept this up for five years? Wouldn't you give up after a year or two when you didn't become a giant, super-powerful robot? Maybe I just lack conviction.
D) GASOLINE?

Doctor Who
* Yay, a new Doctor Who audio book read by David Tennent! Ten lives on forever!

`Hello, I'm the Doctor. And, if you can hear this, then one of us is going to die.'

.......Or not. Wait, can I have a third option?

Epic!Fail
* You know what?

see more deMotivational Posters
I'll use the other bathroom. You can use this one. The fact that this picture exists has ruined all of my Friday. It's just Photoshopped, RIGHT?

People I Love
* If it were not for the internet, I might never have seen this inexplicable and frankly fabulous picture:

[Found at Oh No They Didn't]
I take back everything bad I said about the interwebz.
(Note: No, I don't know, nor do I care. Really, I don't know why Quentin Tarantino is biting Christoph Waltz's ear. I HAVE NO IDEA. Some mysteries are best left unsolved]

Daily Hot Guy

[Bruce Campbell as Sam from Burn Notice. You know, Bruce Campbell visited the Virgin Islands once. Now they're The Islands.]

Childhood!Fail
* When I was a kid, my mom read me The Runaway Bunny:

[Found at World of Wonder]
And The Giving Tree. And my parents punished me by sending me to my room, not hinting that I could possibly be SENT AWAY to experience satanic ritual abuse.

Times have changed.

Daily Icon

[Vivien Leigh, actress, fashion fierceness, and BAMF English lady who could out-Southern the Southern Belles. Also Ophelia, Cleopatra, and Blanche Du Bois, among others. Most famously, Scarlett O'Hara, a shrewd bitch and brutally pragmatic woman who took no shit, and rocked some dressed I want. Requested by Alchemistique, who stole Scarlett's wardrobe.]

Awesome
* Whoever sent me this, thank you. I hated Forrest Gump. I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE FOR THIS. Except for Gary Sinise, who was a burning hunk of genius.


Fandom
* Yeah, this dress is not sexy, and I am not wearing it:

[Found at Like Cool]
The girl isn't helping matters. Her expression says, 'Yeah, can I have my paycheck and go wash the stink of failure from my skin?'
Can we just bring NES back?

Food!Fail
* It's things like this that make me profoundly grateful my grandmother does not read this blog. She's Italian, and takes cooking very, very seriously:

[Found at This Is Why You're Fat]
And I'm sure that ravioli stuffed with barbecued rib meat and mashed potatoes, sour cream, bacon and chives, all topped with melted cheddar, bacon, cheese sauce, green onions and shredded cheese breaks every taboo in her book of food.

Although then maybe I'd get an exclusive on a story like, 'Tiny Elderly Italian Woman Beats The Everloving Fuck Out Of Whoever Desecrated The Ravioli.' She would.

Technology
* Why, no, I haven't run out of iPad jokes, why do you ask?


Politics
* James O'Keefe is not a nice person. In fact, he is a shit head. He's not a political figure, so maybe this doesn't actually belong in this category, but he fucked with ACORN and now is fucking with New Orleans, and NOBODY would think that scrawny little piece of fail was a pimp. Oh, and he doesn't seem to like women, or people who are different races, or anybody who's not him. Can I see your cane for a minute, James?

* This photo of Scott Brown, like the iPad, NEVER stops being funny:

[Found at The ISS]
Hey, if the dude can be a naked politician, more power to him. I just think it's funny how naked he is, in Cosmopolitan. Oh, and the Democrats consider this guy to be the Fourth Horseman of the Apocalypse, when we all know it's a tall blue alien that wants to sex us with his hair.

Yes, I'm still pissed about Avatar.

Dollhouse
* Um, so reading this recap of the final episode of Dollhouse made me cry, which was surprising. I mean, the show was criminally uneven, with some of the worst episodes Joss Whedon has ever done, and some of the best episodes of any show he's ever done (Truth. There are a couple of Dollhouse episodes that rank as his finest work).

But I loved it, and I loved Topher and Alpha Wash, and I cried a few times at the series finale (AND AT ELIZA DUSHKU. I apologize for doubting you. You were fabulous.) and now I'm sort of pissed at Joss Whedon for not keeping the show consistently good.

THERE WAS POTENTIAL. AND FRAN KRANZ MAKES ME SHOUTY BECAUSE HE AND ALPHA WASH SHOULD TEAM UP WITH DR. HORRIBLE.

Anyway, all my above natterings are meaningless, because of one line in this article:

(Dear Christopher Nolan: Alan Tudyk should be the new Joker. Love, Everybody Who Knows What's Up.)

HOLY GOD. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE GENIUS THAT HAS BEEN UNLEASHED ON US? I WOULD SEE THIS. I WOULD SEE THE SHIT OUT OF THIS. HE COULD PWN CHRISTIAN BALE AND NOT EVEN BREAK A SWEAT. MY BRAIN IS SO HAPPY WITH THIS IDEA. AND DAVID TENNANT AS THE RIDDLER? I... I need to go lie down....

In other news, I need to knit a mustache for my shark. LITERALLY.
- LV

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We're Planning On Smacking Them Down Like The Hand Of God.

Blog
* This may be one of the best lines ever uttered on network TV. Title is from Glee, which needs to come back on right now, because I am bereft without it.

Whut?
* My uncle sent me this. I must have done something horrible that I don't remember. Because otherwise, this makes no sense:

WHAT THE HELL? No, you know what? I don't want an explanation. Just leave me alone. BRAIN HURTS.

Words of Win
* If your taser catches people on fire and ENGULFS THEM IN FLAMES, you are doing it wrong:

A man in Western Australia was engulfed in flames when police officers fired a Taser stun gun at him.

I know the dude was sniffing petrol, and that is illegal, but maybe just a warning next time? HELLO?

Moment of Win
* This makes me laugh long and hard, which is why I am doomed to hell for eternity and am generally a terrible person:

see more Epic Fails

Doctor Who
* Dear David Tennant: You are so fabulous and funny and sexy and brilliant that it is a little PAINFUL to think about you:

"You go into a supermarket and your face is on a cake and underpants. And all that's very odd. It's not what you imagine when you go to drama school, that you'll be commemorated in plastic and icing, and cotton."

Here's the full interview, and he's Scottish, you know. I just like reminding people.

Daily Hot Guy(s)

[Zachary Quinto and Chris Pine, AKA Spock and Kirk from Star Trek. You know, the original Spock/Kirk started the movement of slash fanfiction. Truth. I learned that in college. Yes, real college. Why is everyone laughing?]

People I Love
* I hate My Super Sweet Sixteen, and everyone affiliated with it, and the fact that it exists at all. However, Charlie Brooker's comments are so freaking funny that they made me laugh through the bitter, bitter tears of how doomed our people truly are:


Epic!Fail
* THIS WAS NOT A GOOD LIFE CHOICE, CHRIS BROWN:

[Found at Best Week Ever]
DON'T YOU PAY PEOPLE TO TELL YOU NOT TO DO THINGS LIKE THIS? Because I would take that job. First piece of advice? Go sit in a room until everyone has forgotten you. And I'd like my money in cash, please.

Daily Icon

[Xaviera Hollander, as requested by Iconic Icon Millarca. Xaviera is a call girl, madam, damn clever writer, and unapologetic BAMF. She broke taboos, and rocks leopard bikinis.]

Awesome
* This was shown to me by Stina, who is a genius and you should be nice to her out of fear, because she is going to rule the world. I get England. AND Wales. HA. Um, anyway, this is a video about knitting and jumpers. And goat penis:

I think I need to ask her for Scotland now too.

It is very cold out. Everywhere. YES EVERYWHERE.
- LV

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That's The Worst Goodbye I've Ever Heard. & You Stole It From A Movie.

Blog
* But it's Tallahassee, god dammit! That makes it all OK, right? RIGHT? Title is from Zombieland.

Moment Of Win
* This actually makes me very sad:

see more Epic Fails
But it does say an AWFUL LOT about the universe, does it not?

Doctor Who
* The only thing missing from this insanely gorgeous drawing is Ianto Jones.

Dr Who II by *J-Redd on deviantART
But A) He's technically just from Torchwood, and
B) That much goodness might kill me. I WANT THIS.
There is tons more goodness here at Redd Life Art Works. Make him draw Harley Quinn, OK?

Fandom
* All I can say about this article is: CAPTAIN KIRK SHOULD HAVE BEEN ON DOLLHOUSE. Just the idea blows my mind. MY MIND IS BLOWN. Can you imagine him trading barbs with Alpha Wash? I just want this in my life. Really, for the rest of my life, Echo will be referred to as 'Not-Kirk.'

Daily Hot Guy

[Jensen Ackles, AKA Dean Winchester from Supernatural, AKA Why Is This Dude Not Living In New Jersey, Where We Have The Ghosts And Demons And Also Many Diners? He's a hottie.

People I Love
* Ariana Osborne, colleague of Mr. Warren Ellis, writes a brilliant, wise, and funny piece on blogging, and what it does, and why we do it. I do it because I have a lot of nothing to say. END OF ANALYSIS.

Zombies
* I will continue to post this picture because A) It is brilliant, B) I HAZ A ZOMBIE-HUNTING HAT AND MACHETE IN IT, and B) Zombieland is not out yet on DVD.

Merry Christmas Elle by ~darkravenkiki on deviantART

Epic!Fail
* WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE?

More than 200,000 Swedes joined a Facebook group claiming to be collecting donations to help earthquake victims in Haiti before it was revealed as a hoax by the “Swedish Necrophilia Association”.

Dude, I like a good (bad) joke as much as the next girl. Probably more. I enjoy some pretty twisted humor. But this is NOT funny, it's not clever, it's fucked up and stupid.

If you want to make bad jokes about the pain and suffering of others, I can't stop you. That is your right. If you want to be a brutally insensitive person, have at it. But DON'T screw around with people actually trying to get involved and help those in need. THAT is my issue. If you want to make tasteless, hurtful jokes about people DYING, go for it. But do NOT do something that will discourage people from donating needed money to a cause. OK???

Awesome
* Am I the only girl who would be totally charmed if my boyfriend took me to White Castle for Valentine's Day? My favorite Valentine's Day date is STILL when my then-boyfriend took me to a horror movie, then out for my favorite French toast. Am I a cheap date? Maybe, but I think Valentine's Day should be more about having fun and doing things that will make each other happy, then spending shitloads of money.

Plus, I am from New Jersey, and I love White Castle. If a guy rented a limo to take me there, and made reservations, I would be THOROUGHLY happy. Just saying.

Today I see Legion. LIFE IS GOOD.

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I'm In Pain! I Think This Is What Pain Feels Like!

Blog
* Captain Hammer. The hammer is his penis. Title is from Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog.

Doctor Who
* First off, stop saying 'Geronimo' when discussing the Eleventh Doctor. IT IS NOT A GOOD CATCH PHRASE, people. Second, this analysis of the Doctor Who trailer makes me SAD. I get that David Tennant is gone. I am coming to terms with that. But the Doctor has a GUN. I was upset when Ten had a gun. Eleven did not earn that gun. AND HIS HAIR CONTINUES TO BOTHER ME. CUT YOUR HAIR, TIME LORD.

[Found at io9]
I can't decide if I really love this picture, or think he resembles a young Tom Cruise, which is NOT what I want in the Doctor.

Food!Fail
* See, it's categories like this, and more specifically pictures like this, that make me reconsider writing this blog first thing in the morning:

[Found at This Is Why You're Fat]
I mean, COME ON. That's gross. I can barely handle a cup of COFFEE at this point in the day. I am NOT prepared for Spam Wontons:

Mushroom stuffed with Spam, mayo and garlic, wrapped in a wonton skin and deep fried.

And I am a girl who likes mayo. It's like the best condiment, ever. And mushrooms are ambrosia. But.... look, talk to me after a few energy drinks, and maybe I'll try one, OK? I'M JUST A PERSON. A PERSON WHO NEEDS MORE CAFFEINE.

Technology
* I want a see-through computer screen:

[Found at Geekologie]
Why? Because it's super-cool and high-tech looking and super-awesome, and sometimes super-cool things are ENOUGH, right?

Fandom
* This is an awesome fucking picture:

Harley and Ivy by ~darkravenkiki on deviantART
I want to be Harley Quinn when I grow up.

People I Love

Best. Userpic. Ever.

Zombies
* This just in: Zombieland writers can write whatever the HELL they want, because their rules will keep your sorry ass ALIVE come the zombie apocalypse. So if they want to write G.I. Joe 2, it will be good. SUCH IS THE WORD. That I just wrote.

Politics
* I actually like John McCain, (although I disagree with his politics, he is a smart man, although I'm still cross about Sarah Palin, but that's another story), but this is NOT a good radio advertisement, Senator:

Voice: We know what he endured.
Turned down the chance to go home early.
It was against the prisoner’s code.

Read the rest here. Look, I have nothing but respect for Senator McCain's service to this country and what he sacrificed. But is that really relevant to his being Senator of Arizona? It is? Oh. I did not know that. Never mind, then. I just thought, maybe, we could hear about his stance on issues... no? Do not question the radio advertisements? OK, then.

Daily Hot Guy

[Richard Ayoade, AKA Maurice Moss from The IT Crowd, and my future husband. Really, I have a shameless crush on him, and want to protect him and his hot ear from the world. In this picture, by the way, does he not look like a deliciously mad scientist? LOOK at that trench coat. I apologize for NOTHING.]

Epic Fail
* IN FLORIDA, THEY WILL SEND GRANDMA TO JAIL FOR SPEEDING:

A 78-year-old woman spent more than two weeks in jail, including Thanksgiving, because her case slipped through the courtroom cracks.

But what about her family? Didn't anyone go, 'Where's granny?' NOBODY? EVERYONE FAILS HERE.

Awesome
* ALL HAIL THE KRAKEN:

HAIL IT.

Moment Of Win
* The most terrifying words a parent can hear: "Hey, remember the car?"

see more Epic Fails

Movie!Win
Christoph Waltz won the Golden Globe for Inglourious Basterds, and Quentin Tarantino looked good. I am well-pleased. That doesn't mean I understood his acceptance speech, except that maybe Quentin Tarantino has powers mere mortals cannot comprehend? But who DOESN'T know that?


LV is a Basterd.
- LV

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Just Shoot Him! You Told Him You Would. Don't Pad Your Part!

Blog
* Actors are not pillars of honesty, in general. Title is from Mystery Science Theater 3000.

* This week, we have a special surprise coming up for readers of FEAR AND LOATHING. And by we, I mean my blog, and by 'special surprise,' I mean, 'special guest of super-awesome win. IN SPACE.' OK, not in space. I will continue to be mysterious about this. Such is my way.

* 'Sozzled' is my Word of 2010. But I think we need to add 'jimbobbery' to the list, as Miss Banshee has in her blog. Also, DOGGIE HEADBUTTZ.

Crafts
* I love handspun yarn, particularly when I know the people selling it, and they are made of magic and win and genius, and their yarn is so fabulous I just want to sleep on a pile of it. This is all Spazzy Yarn-describing. She makes the most gorgeous yarn, and when I am rich she will be one of a select few of my private Yarn-Makers.

In the meantime, here is a contest where you can win some of her glorious yarn. Enter it. Your knitting needles will thank you.

Girly!Want
* These shoes are pink, which is not a color I am usually associated with, but under the right circumstances I will be ALL OVER pink. These are the right circumstances:

[Found at Jak and Jil]
They should belong to me. They are amazing, and I will prance around England in my pink, pink shoes.

Life Lessons
* This is all truth, in one index card:

[Found at Indexed]

Ad!Win
* Normally, these sort of ads go under AD!FAIL, but it is so funny and surreal, and I like to imagine that Andy Warhol directed it, or maybe Uwe Boll (for different reasons) that it goes under Win. The description here helps to no end:

Any product that gives me rock-hard abs so that offscreen voiceover woman will f*ck me, and also I’m Santa, is a product for me.

Santa A) Does not have abs, and B) Does not have sex. OK? Let me cling to these notions.

House!Win
*HEHEHEHEHE, THE TOAST IS IN JAIL! ROASTING:

[Found at Incredible Things]
OK, technically the toast is TOASTING in jail, but I can watch it and laugh and enjoy torturing toast. I am grouchy in the morning. My toast should suffer accordingly.

Daily Hot Guy

[Adam Gontier, lead singer of 3 Days Grace, SANS mohawk. Mohawks, like mustaches, are very hard to pull off. Even the best of people cannot do it sometimes. Requested by Stina, mistress of horror, who is going to run Apple and destroy her enemies. So, you know, be nice to her.]

Doctor Who
* Ignoring for the moment his weird, 'I can fly and make pew pews with my hands,' episode, the Master is all sorts of awesome. I love this scene, because it's stupid and malicious and sort of incredibly funny, and a little bit sexy, and brilliant because few would have the AUDACITY to do it, much like the Master himself:

Plus I like this song. Oh, and is it just me, but does Little Old Doctor look like Peter Boyle? HE DOES.

Harry Potter
* So, has everyone seen the Deathly Hallows trailer?

It doesn't look very good, does it? Then again, I am still annoyed by the royal SHAFTING of every one of my favorite plot lines in Half-Blood Prince, so maybe I am not the best person to review this. (But really, I DO NOT CARE ABOUT HERMIONE BEING SAD, OK? OR RON SMOOCHING PEOPLE. LET'S FOCUS ON BELLATRIX AND HER CRAZY, and the glory that is SNAPE, OK?)

Food!Fail
* These might taste good, but the moment they pass your lips, you die:

[Found at This Is Why You're Fat]

French fries and cheese curd wrapped in a spring roll served with brown gravy dipping sauce.

Oh, if you look at the picture too long, your cholesterol goes up significantly. I should have mentioned that earlier.

Words of Win

see more Funny Graphs

You all think I'm joking about hibernating for the rest of the winter, but I AM NOT JOKING AND I AM COLD AS ALL HELL.
- LV

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That's What Keeps Me Alive, Perversion & Star Quality.

Blog
* Perversion is a powerful life-giving force. Title is from Russell Brand, who I still love despite his terrible taste in women. YEAH I WENT THERE.

Ad!Win
* SUBLIMINAL MESSAGING OMG RUN:

This logo has a smile that represents happy customers. The smile is also an arrow pointing from A to Z, suggesting they have everything from A to Z.

I don't think Amazon needs any subliminal messaging. I think the fact that they sell everything I want in the universe is sort of enough. There are more ways the ads are manipulating you here.

House!Win
* I'm trying to get more organized. Here we will include products that make home life more fun and exciting for everyone, or at least look nifty as hell. Like this steamer, which allows you to steam eggs and veg without boiling hot water cooking your tender skin:

[Found at Incredible Things]
Or you could fill it with jello and WHIP it at the head of someone who is annoying you. Just a thought.

Social Networking
* This category will be about the wins and fails that afflict all of us who use these wonderful, confounding sites.

[Found at Hey Kobe]
OK.... maybe not EVERYONE. Reason number 1 you should NEVER allow your parents on Facebook.

Art
* Now, THIS is art I can understand:

My Painting Has Crashed from James Théophane Jnr on Vimeo.

[Found at Neatorama]
I want this guy to design all my art. From now on.

Food!Fail
* Apparently I enjoy ruining the good times of others, particularly if they occur at fast food restaurants. In a nutshell, Fast-Food Soda fountains may have POO in them:

A scary 48 percent of machine beverages tested contained coliform bacteria – which can originate in fecal matter....

"Coliform bacteria was detected in 48 percent of the beverages," the team's abstract states. "More than 11 percent of the beverages analyzed contained Escherichia coli [E. coli]."

Most of the bacteria identified were resistant to antibiotics.

You can read the whole article here, and vow never to EVER get a soda at the soda fountain as LONG AS YOU LIVE. See, I knew there was a reason I didn't trust those things.

Daily Hot Guy

[Clive Owen, who I loved in Sin City, because he was DEMENTED, and shot people, and had a very intriguing conversation with a corpse, and uttered the classic line, 'I'm Shelly's new boyfriend, and I'm out of my mind.' AND dunked Benicio Del Toro in a toilet. Man, I need to watch that movie again.]

Epic!Win
* I know it's cruel to laugh at the fear of children, but watch the kid in the white pajamas at around the 1:15 mark, and I challenge you not to snicker:

Besides, everyone was fine, and they lived happily ever after. Of sorts.

Technology
* WE DO INDEED LIVE IN THE CRAZY FUTURE YEAR 2010. LOOKY, LOOKY, A FLOATING LAMP:

[Found at DVICE]
New life goal: Replace every light in my house with FLOATING LIGHTS THAT YOU PUMP TO INCREASE OR DECREASE THE AMOUNT OF LIGHT YOU WANT.

The future is here, and it is AWESOME.

Doctor Who
* My friend Janna, who sekritly runs all your comics, sent me this on my birthday:

He's 906. So any other birthday is sort of like, 'Oh, you're another year older? That's ADORABLE.'

OK, it's Saturday, which means I have a lot of sleeping to do.
- LV

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