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On Friday I'm going to a comic signing with my friends Aye and Kaye. Garth Ennis will be there. And I will be there. We will be breathing the same air. Also, the co-creator of Transmetropolitan will be there, although I'm currently having a brain-fart and can't remember his name. Now, if Warren Ellis was going to be there, I'd be rushing out to get a Spider Jerusalem tattoo. Or not. I dislike pain. And needles. And strangers.I'm reading Howard Zinn's, Voices Of A Peope's History of the United States. Current thoughts? Politically, we're in the same situation we were during the civil war. Only I like Abraham Lincoln a lot more than George W. Bush. I mean, one helped to end slavery. The other choked on a pretzel. Yes, I'm oversimplifying. But it's OK, because I'm funny. Yeah, I'm still in New Jersey. I've been very busy sleeping, reading, and arguing with my mother over whether or not I'm allowd to say 'fuck' in the house. I yell a lot about freedom of speech and the press. Doesn't work.I watched House with my mom last night. And I noticed something: there are like NO shows that feature brilliant, eccentric women, unless they're treated as a joke. That's kind of depressing. On the plus side, House is a dick and I love him.And I'm sure I'll regret this later, but I actually think the new Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer movie looks kind of entertaining. I didn't say good.Here are some life lessons my friends and I have imparted on each other through the years. May they help you in your journeys.* People make stains.* In the Financial District, nobody can hear you scream.* Food should not glow in the dark.* Armpit hair is like the softest hair on the body.* Stepping in another person's saliva is NEVER lucky.* If you know what a fluffer is before you're fourteen, you never had a childhood.I'm watching Spongebob Squarepants at the moment. My brain cells are dying on mass. It's like a mental genocide.'Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the Coalition of the Willing. Or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain.'- Jon Stewart

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