Blog* He's lying, you know. He didn't try to stay in the car AT ALL. Title is from Castle, which got renewed!People I Love* Kelly Osbourne looks awesome (and I want her hair), her fiancee is adorable and practically clear he is so pale and blonde, and her dress amuses me to no end:[Found at World of Wonder]Really, how do I get that hair color? We as a society need to make this happen.Geek Want* When did sneakers become so amazingly cool again? And can we possibly get some Firefly sneakers? OOH, or Doctor Who-themed Converse, in honor of David Tennant? I HAVE SHOE IDEAS THAT THE WORLD NEEDS. Ahem. Here are Paper Mario Nikes:[Found at Like Cool]Oh, but my Imaginary Sneakers Of Super Awesome wouldn't be almost $200. That amount of money doesn't exist! HAHA.... I want to go shopping.Food!Fail* After multiple cakes of adorable charm, I figured I'd show you one that will crush your soul and destroy the very fiber of your being:[Found at Very Demotivational]Saddest. Cake. Ever.Technology* Here's a guide for watching porn on your iPad at work. I don't have an iPad, I don't watch porn (especially at work), and to be honest the fact that this article exists makes me want to sob over the fate of society. People, please: WAIT UNTIL YOU GET HOME TO ENJOY PORNOGRAPHY. Or at least aren't at work. I know it's about office work, but I just keep thinking about airplane pilots doing this, and I have ENOUGH PLANE ANXIETY AS IT IS, OK?Life Lessons* I love Spongebob, and I will not apologize for that. Plankton and Squidward are brilliant. And after a long day at work, sometimes I want to watch a talking sponge go jellyfishing with a squirrel, OK? I DON'T JUDGE YOUR LIFE. And while there are endless jokes involving Spongebob, and drugs, few are quite so accurate. Here's your handy guide for the spongey chemicals.:[Found at Friggin Random]Oh, and one episode definitely had a joke about Spongebob innocently delivering drugs to Patrick. For reals.Daily Hot Guy[Sam Trammell, AKA Sam Merlotte from True Blood. Have I mentioned I miss True Blood? In the South, everyone has amazing supernatural sex all the time and drinks and eats insane food. It's on HBO, so you know it's true.]Daily Icon[Sophia Loren, proof that goddesses do walk among us, and maybe if we stand close to them we can absorb some of their fabulosity.]Movie!Win* Have you seen The Raven? It's six minutes of epic fucking genius:Avatar can EAT ME, I'll just watch this for two hours. And you know what? I'll be HAPPIER.Wow* Guys, what do you even want me to say here? What COULD I SAY? I just... I don't know. Nothing makes sense anymore. It's been a weird week, with a lot of stress, and I don't even OWN any chicken memorabilia:[Found at The World's Best Ever]To quote Warren Ellis, NO CHIKKINS.WTF, INTERNET* Ladies and gentlemen, I present a reusable Pokemon Maxi Pad. So when women have their period, they look at Pikachu:[Found at Neatorama]This is either the best thing or the worst thing ever to have happened in the history of the universe. I don't know. I can't decide. It's sort of hilarious, and entertaining, but it's Pokemon and I don't know. I'm more alarmed that someone looked at a Pokemon and decided to create a maxi pad. Who looks at Pikachu and thinks, "Wow, I'd love to BLEED ALL OVER THAT ONCE A MONTH?" I DEMAND AN ANSWER. Or maybe not. Maybe some things are best left unknown.And maybe it's just me, but I don't much like the idea of Pokemon leaping into my lower orifice.Animals* BABY WOMBAT BABY WOMBAT IT IS SO TINY AND WEE AND BABY WOMBAT:[Found at Daily Mail]Wombats are native to New Jersey, right? I CAN HAZ? I'll name him Sigfried, and he can sleep at the foot of my bed with my dog and cat. BABY WOMBAT.Music* If Lady Gaga, Beyonce, and Metallica all had a huge orgy and then a hideous freak baby emerged from that unholy union, this is what we'd get:I've named it MetalliGaga. Featuring Beyonce.TeeVee* I am full of conflict. For years, FOX has been the Evil TV Overlord. They cancel ALL the shows I love, and make me cry, and fuck up the order of the episodes they do air (remember what they did to Firefly? DO YOU?) or they cut the number (Arrested Development) and basically take every show I love and shit all over it, leaving me a miserable and angry fangirl shouting into the void of the internet, while Life, Unexpected gets renewed on the CW (I have never seen this show, but the commercials were so obnoxious that I hate the show forever now) (CW is still the WB, no matter what ANYONE says).But the winds are changing. No, really. This year, FOX made Glee, and they renewed Human Target AND Lie To Me, when common sense insisted that one of them would get the axe, which made me enormously happy, because now I have snarky British Tim Roth AND Jackie Earle Haley on a weekly basis. So apparently FOX is taking a break from making me sad, since they already cancelled Dollhouse a while back.BUT BUT now NBC is being dickish. As I mentioned, they cancelled Heroes. And while I love the show (I have to admit Igave up this season because I had no idea what was going on, and nobody seemed to have any clue what they were doing, and Hiro was sad all the time, and Sylar was more whiny than insane/sexy, among other reasons) it was time for it to go. It had a good few years (its first season remains genius) and deserves to step out with dignity (and a return of Christopher Eccleston as Crazy Invisible Pigeon Man Of Secks?).Unfortunately, NBC has decided to steal the Dickish Network title from FOX, for reasons I cannot comprehend, and is just ENDING the series on a CLIFFHANGER, and not even giving us a series finale TV movie episode THING. AND THAT IS HORSE-SHIT. LV DOES NOT APPROVE IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM. The show was really good, and juggled some very complex (occassionally demented) plot lines, and ROBERT FORRESTER WAS A VILLAIN, DUDES. AND SULU WAS ON IT. SULU. SULU WILL FUCK A BITCH UP. God dammit, I'm remembering how much I used to love the show.OK, new plan: Sylar and Peter Petrelli team up and fight the NBC Executive assholes, shirtless, and Hiro makes that adorable wobbly face, and Sulu KILLS EVERYONE, and then the cute boys all kiss, and Claire falls down a well (OH, and Ali Larter, who does not have a power but a DISORDER) the end.I miss Heroes.- LV
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