Are Kate and Wiiliam Allowed to Hold Hands?

Yes, know-it-alls. That’s your cue to shoot your hand straight up in the air with the answer. Comment here. About Prince William and Kate Middleton, who showed up together this weekend at their first official public event since the engagement for a Christmas reception in support of the Teenager Cancer Trust. As you can see, while happy and seemingly in great spirits, they’re maintaining a respectable distance between their bodies. Not appropriate to walk with fingers linked? If anything it would be an arm link then? Handholding is so common. Remember that the next time you hold hands with your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/lover. That doing so is just one of the reasons you are not royal. But seriously, the distance between Kate and Wiilliam is Jane Austen novel distance. This is the 212st century, royal lovebirds!

moreless

Why Am I Surrounded By Bosoms? Lautner Ponders

It’s Tom Cruise Jr at the Saints game posing with the Saints girls, willing himself to get through it, like he’s holding his breath, counting down the seconds until he can get away from all those bosoms. Not all 18 year old boys fantasize about being surrounded by scantily clad cheerleaders, ok?
Taylor Lautner is a Professional Machine. It’s about the work, the focus, the commitment, the career, and the fans. Gotta love that kid.

moreless

Are you A Rafa or A Roger?

I love Rafael Nadal. And here he is with Roger Federer posing at a press conference in support of their respective charities.
On December 21st they played against each other in Zurich – Federer won and the proceeds were directed to the Roger Federer Foundation.
On Decemner 22nd in Spain it was Rafa’s turn. He took it in 3 sets to benefit Fundacion Rafa Nadal.

It kills me how Rafa is standing. He’s always so shy, almost unsure. Tennis is such a lonely game. And I suppose that’s why he keeps getting in trouble for always looking at his coach for advice. Then of course somehow he finds a way to rip a backhand down the line and gut out a win. That’s the difference I suppose. Insecurity is definitely a quiver killer. But not when it’s overcome, and in such spectacular fashion. Rafa is ending the year as the world #1.

You’re either a Rafa or a Roger. May the best man win. Rafa.

moreless

Kate and William Look Awkward on a Coin

Critics are screaming "off with their heads" at Britain's Royal Mint's renderings of Kate Middleton and Prince William on a commemorative wedding coin. Some observers charge that it makes the princess-to-be look "plump" and has her royal fiance sporting "Elvis" hair.

That's not all: UK newspapers are suggesting Middleton's visage looks like she had her lips inflated and one royal watcher compared Prince William's minted resemblance to former Vice President Al Gore.

The Daily Mail notes that while the couple's official Mario Testino engagement photos were tastefully airbrushed, the coins have rendered the couple unrecognizable. Middleton looks "masculine" while her upper lip has been "plumped beyond" recognition.
The tabloid gives the mint kudos for discreetly disguising the prince's thinning hair, but complains his "Adam's apple matches the size of his nose." Ouch!

The Mirror complained that Middleton looks "chunkier and older" on the coin and said that while Prince William came out handsomer than his future bride, "he has been engraved with what seems to be an Elvis Presley quiff."

moreless

William and Kate Will Scrub Their Own Toilets

You would think that by marrying a prince you'd get a servant to wipe your ass, a servant to spray lavender oil on your after-BM anus, a servant to pick our your eye snots, a servant to make sure the butter slices fully melt in your baked potato before serving it (I HATE NON-MELTED BUTTER SLICES), etc... etc... The whole point of marrying a prince is so you don't have to live like a dirty filthy commoner anymore. But Kate Middleton will have to continue to live like a dirty filthy commoner, because word is that she won't have any household help after she married Prince William. The poor homeless peasants on the street are like, "It's so hard being Prince Willy and Kate."
Butthole Prince Charles has a staff of 150 that costs around $9.6 million a year, but Prince William and Kate want to live like the normal people do. They will do their own laundry, cooking, and cleaning. They will only employ bodyguards to protect them while they try to live like all of us.

moreless

Andrew and Emma: Love on the Bleachers

I’ve done a lot of shit in bleachers – cutting class, meangirling, several love arguments, drama rehearsal – but I cannot remember if I’ve ever kissed in them.

But I do love the bleachers. I love it when Heath Ledger sings across the bleachers to Julia Stiles in 10 Things I Hate About You. I love when Gary Bertier’s mother walks into the bleachers during the championship game after her son is paralysed in Remember the Titans. For some reason I always think Molly Ringwald is sitting in the bleachers when Andrew McCarthy’s Blaine comes to talk to her in the rough kids section of school. They should make an entire movie, like a Love Actually style movie, in the bleachers. Is there a bleacher montage somewhere out there? They should make that too. And include this scene out of the new Spider-Man, featuring Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone, shooting yesterday in LA.

Now I don’t normally find Garfield attractive, but this is the most attractive I’ve ever found him. Maybe it’s because he’s sitting in the bleachers. Maybe it’s the way he’s sitting. I like the way his body lounges. Maybe it’s Emma. Emma improves everyone. Maybe it’s how they seem to be pacing this kiss, all tentative and sweet, and super sexy, as he leans deep left into her face without reaching up to touch it – the hand to cheek/neck then kiss move seems to be so overused lately in movies, non? Total overkill.

Suddenly I’m extra a lot excited to see this Spidey.

moreless

Not An Update

I'm still not ready to come back to blogging, but if you miss my inane ramblings, you can go here, which is a truncated version of this blog.

moreless