TAYLOR SWIFT: Hi, Zac.ZAC EFRON: Hi, Taylor. You seem blue.TAYLOR: Haven’t you heard? I just broke up with Jake Gyllenhaal. We were truly in love. We, like, drank coffee together. It was beautiful. So now I’m all wan and trying to cheer myself up with red lipstick.ZEFRON: I feel you. I just broke up with Vanessa Hudgens. I had to cut my hair to deal with the heartbreak of being a Mature Single Man.TAY: She should write a song about it.ZEF: Maybe you could write it for her.TAY: I’m too busy writing the one about how Jake was my love earthquake until I found out it was all fake and now I think he’s a rake.ZEF: I hope you get over the heartbreak. Let me know if I can help.TAY: Wait… maybe… do you want to DATE ME for a while? We could write a DUET about how it all ended gracefully and with mutual respect, right before I write the B-side about how you are a filthy rotten liar.ZEF: Tempting, but I’ll pass.TAY: Oh, right, okay. You JACKHOLE. YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS LYRICALLY.ZEF: Good luck with that.
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