Blog
* Title is in honor of Burn Notice last night. Bruce Campbell fixed the window, AND blew the house up. Not the same house, clearly. Bruce Campbell does not believe in wasted gestures. SPEAKING OF BRUCE CAMPBELL, did you hear he's going to save the President from zombies, in Comic form? Also, for those of you who follow me on Twitter, you've heard me joke about Bruce Campbell for President (of course I'm not JOKING, but he's playing it cool because he doesn't want to hurt Obama's feelings. Bruce Campbell is a benevolent god) this made me scream over breakfast this morning:
[Found at ComicBookResources]
Hail to the Chief, Baby.
Freakangels Friday
* I am casting a FREAKANGELS movie, in my head, because hopefully that will never actually happen. So far it isn't going well, because I tend to like older actors, and as numerous as his powers are, there is just no way Bruce Campbell could play a 23-year-old without exposing his powers, and we as a culture are not ready for that. I do rather want Russell Brand to play Luke. I'd love a young Jackie Earle Haley as Karl. And realistically, they should cast Milo 'He's In Heroes, and No I'm Not Looking Up How To Spell His Last name' as Connor. And I want Zachary Quinto to play Jack. The girls, I am less interested in casting. As long as Lindsay Lohan stays away from my mind-movie. And Scarlet 'I Used To Like Her And Now Find Her Pretentious.' Anyway, new FREAKANGELS today! Spoilers below my signature at the end of this post, because I haven't read it yet. FOR YOU.
Depression Session
* Who wants a recession hairstyle? Doesn't that make you think of haircuts from the fifties? All those severe bobs, and girls going to be 'career women' until they could land a husband in a series of hilarious screwball incidents? But that's wrong. Instead, we all should grow our hair out like peasant women, because bangs and angular cuts and hair dye and fun things are expensive, and we must all make sacrifices? Incidentally, I am trying to grow my hair out, not because of theDepression Recession, but because I felt like it. Way to be 'cutting edge,' HAHAHA. Also, am I the only one who finds it darkly humorous that every picture they showed to demonstrate 'inexpensive haircuts' was on the head of a celebrity, and inarguably costs several hundred dollars in upkeep a month, at least?
Girly Shit
* Remember that episode of Sex and the City where Carrie goes on a non-date with Mr. Big, and he leans in to give her a friendly kiss, and she responds by throwing them both into the river to get out of an awkward but survivable bit of social interaction? God, I fucking HATE that show. Anyway, Carrie walked home wearing his button-down shirt, a pair of stilettos, and a belt. This reminds me of that:
[Found at IHeartLuxe]
And as such, I simply cannot endorse any outfit that screams, "I am a serious writer who cannot put together one well-written sentence and did not consider the possibility of perhaps borrowing a pair of sweat-pants to complete this ensemble, because I am twee and cute and edgy!'
Daily Hot Guy
[Alan Tudyk, who is sexy enough and adorable enough to make me watch Serenity again, knowing the ending destroys me as a human being]
Music
* Here is information on a bunch of TV show theme songs. This article teaches me only that every time you hear the Addams Family theme song, Vic Mizzy is becoming even richer, while you are not.
Technology
* This is a stereo AND a portable cooler:
[Found at IncredibleThings]
This is sort of brilliant, except A) I hate when people play music at the beach, because it is never anything I like and they always abuse the bass so that it feels like the sand is pulsing, which is weird, and B) My visual image of the buyer of this fine product is consistently that of a meathead jock who will use the devastating pick-up line, 'Brewski for You-ski?' and then throw up all over your shoes.
Watchmen
* This is a very cool picture, and I like that Rorschach is wee and unharmed, and Dr. Manhattan looks sickly and weakened by his habit of EXPLODING PEOPLE WHO ARE MORAL:
[Found at i09]
And you KNOW Rorschach is perched happily on Manhattan's shoulder, writing in his notebook and whispering his insane conspiracies into Manhattan's ear and torturing him psychologically by retelling the Roche story every night before bedtime, and since Manhattan doesn't sleep and Rorschach is insane, Manhattan has to hear that story several times a day, in all its gruesome glory. Also Rorschach doesn't much bathe, and that's GOTTA irk Manhattan. And Nite Owl looks faintly embarrassed to find himself perched on Manhattan, and I think Ozymandias is attempting suicide to get away from Rorschach's stench. Buy me this picture, now.
Tattoo Of Win
[Found at LOLTATZ]
Food
* These are bacon-stuffed waffles:
[Found at ThisIsWhyYoureFat]
I can think of nothing bad to say about this, except a deep and almost overpowering regret that I am not currently supping upon these perfect creations.
Comics
* Here are some words of wisdom from Warren Ellis about comics and life, who I sacrificed a sexy goat to LAST WEEK and he still hasn't shown up to smite my enemies and give me knowledge. His Twitter account is reason enough for the site to exist. And I want a shirt that says, "Warren Ellis Put His Disease In Me." I would wear it to all job interviews, forever.
Words Of Win
see more Fail Blog
YouTube Wonders
* I couldn't give less of a shit about Justin Timberlake if I tried, but Ryan Gosling is fabulous and adorable, and I want him to be in more movies, and he was on Are You Afraid Of The Dark? and then turned out to be a pretty fantastic actor, and here he is on the Mickey Mouse Club with J. Timberlake, in simpler times, and I'm NOT having a good week, so this may have pulled me away from my experiments involving obscene amounts of alcohol and a funnel:
Sherlock Holmes
* Here is the poster for the new movie:
[Found at EmpireOnline]
I think I'm pregnant now. With the brain-child of Sherlock Holmes. Who would WANT to escape him? There is also a Watson poster, but I do not give a shit, I am too busy staring at the glory that is RDJ as Sherlock Holmes. I need to stop typing, before I dissolve into incoherency that would only be expressed as "HOLY SHIT HOT HOT GUH WANT MOVIE EYES HAIR POCKETS SMILE NO STUBBLE SEX ESCAPE WANT SMIRK PRON ASSAULT LUST DAMN DAMN DAMN" and I really don't want to have to translate that out of fangirl squee.
This was a very late entry. I'm sorry for ruining everything. Might post later, after a few hours studying Robert Downey, Jr. For literary value, of course.
- LV
Spoilers For FREAKANGELS Below:
* No Karl, which means KARL LIVES FOR ANOTHER WEEK. I do like that Alice's response to a psychic trying to kill her is more violence. Girl has no fear. Luke has a big penis. I'm sorry, it needed to be said. Do you know how rarely I've seen male genitalia in comics? It's always breasts, breasts, breasts, but they usually sneakily obscure the guys' dangly bits. Even Dr. Manhattan, he of the Blue Peen of Distraction, was strategically covered a lot of the time. Or we stared at his muscular buttocks.
It's interesting that only a few of the Freakangels know that Karl killed Mark, or felt his brain die, or whatever. And once again I am awed by Luke's absolute douchery, and find it almost charming, because it takes a lot of confidence and rampant egotism - nay, sociopathic tendencies - to be that indignant over getting caught RAPING someone, and having people react badly to it. So I sort of almost enjoy Luke's evil, which I suspect means that he will kill Karl and I will be bereft, because that is how things work. I love this comic.
* Title is in honor of Burn Notice last night. Bruce Campbell fixed the window, AND blew the house up. Not the same house, clearly. Bruce Campbell does not believe in wasted gestures. SPEAKING OF BRUCE CAMPBELL, did you hear he's going to save the President from zombies, in Comic form? Also, for those of you who follow me on Twitter, you've heard me joke about Bruce Campbell for President (of course I'm not JOKING, but he's playing it cool because he doesn't want to hurt Obama's feelings. Bruce Campbell is a benevolent god) this made me scream over breakfast this morning:
[Found at ComicBookResources]
Hail to the Chief, Baby.
Freakangels Friday
* I am casting a FREAKANGELS movie, in my head, because hopefully that will never actually happen. So far it isn't going well, because I tend to like older actors, and as numerous as his powers are, there is just no way Bruce Campbell could play a 23-year-old without exposing his powers, and we as a culture are not ready for that. I do rather want Russell Brand to play Luke. I'd love a young Jackie Earle Haley as Karl. And realistically, they should cast Milo 'He's In Heroes, and No I'm Not Looking Up How To Spell His Last name' as Connor. And I want Zachary Quinto to play Jack. The girls, I am less interested in casting. As long as Lindsay Lohan stays away from my mind-movie. And Scarlet 'I Used To Like Her And Now Find Her Pretentious.' Anyway, new FREAKANGELS today! Spoilers below my signature at the end of this post, because I haven't read it yet. FOR YOU.
Depression Session
* Who wants a recession hairstyle? Doesn't that make you think of haircuts from the fifties? All those severe bobs, and girls going to be 'career women' until they could land a husband in a series of hilarious screwball incidents? But that's wrong. Instead, we all should grow our hair out like peasant women, because bangs and angular cuts and hair dye and fun things are expensive, and we must all make sacrifices? Incidentally, I am trying to grow my hair out, not because of the
Girly Shit
* Remember that episode of Sex and the City where Carrie goes on a non-date with Mr. Big, and he leans in to give her a friendly kiss, and she responds by throwing them both into the river to get out of an awkward but survivable bit of social interaction? God, I fucking HATE that show. Anyway, Carrie walked home wearing his button-down shirt, a pair of stilettos, and a belt. This reminds me of that:
[Found at IHeartLuxe]
And as such, I simply cannot endorse any outfit that screams, "I am a serious writer who cannot put together one well-written sentence and did not consider the possibility of perhaps borrowing a pair of sweat-pants to complete this ensemble, because I am twee and cute and edgy!'
Daily Hot Guy
[Alan Tudyk, who is sexy enough and adorable enough to make me watch Serenity again, knowing the ending destroys me as a human being]
Music
* Here is information on a bunch of TV show theme songs. This article teaches me only that every time you hear the Addams Family theme song, Vic Mizzy is becoming even richer, while you are not.
Technology
* This is a stereo AND a portable cooler:
[Found at IncredibleThings]
This is sort of brilliant, except A) I hate when people play music at the beach, because it is never anything I like and they always abuse the bass so that it feels like the sand is pulsing, which is weird, and B) My visual image of the buyer of this fine product is consistently that of a meathead jock who will use the devastating pick-up line, 'Brewski for You-ski?' and then throw up all over your shoes.
Watchmen
* This is a very cool picture, and I like that Rorschach is wee and unharmed, and Dr. Manhattan looks sickly and weakened by his habit of EXPLODING PEOPLE WHO ARE MORAL:
[Found at i09]
And you KNOW Rorschach is perched happily on Manhattan's shoulder, writing in his notebook and whispering his insane conspiracies into Manhattan's ear and torturing him psychologically by retelling the Roche story every night before bedtime, and since Manhattan doesn't sleep and Rorschach is insane, Manhattan has to hear that story several times a day, in all its gruesome glory. Also Rorschach doesn't much bathe, and that's GOTTA irk Manhattan. And Nite Owl looks faintly embarrassed to find himself perched on Manhattan, and I think Ozymandias is attempting suicide to get away from Rorschach's stench. Buy me this picture, now.
Tattoo Of Win
[Found at LOLTATZ]
Food
* These are bacon-stuffed waffles:
[Found at ThisIsWhyYoureFat]
I can think of nothing bad to say about this, except a deep and almost overpowering regret that I am not currently supping upon these perfect creations.
Comics
* Here are some words of wisdom from Warren Ellis about comics and life, who I sacrificed a sexy goat to LAST WEEK and he still hasn't shown up to smite my enemies and give me knowledge. His Twitter account is reason enough for the site to exist. And I want a shirt that says, "Warren Ellis Put His Disease In Me." I would wear it to all job interviews, forever.
Words Of Win
see more Fail Blog
YouTube Wonders
* I couldn't give less of a shit about Justin Timberlake if I tried, but Ryan Gosling is fabulous and adorable, and I want him to be in more movies, and he was on Are You Afraid Of The Dark? and then turned out to be a pretty fantastic actor, and here he is on the Mickey Mouse Club with J. Timberlake, in simpler times, and I'm NOT having a good week, so this may have pulled me away from my experiments involving obscene amounts of alcohol and a funnel:
Sherlock Holmes
* Here is the poster for the new movie:
[Found at EmpireOnline]
I think I'm pregnant now. With the brain-child of Sherlock Holmes. Who would WANT to escape him? There is also a Watson poster, but I do not give a shit, I am too busy staring at the glory that is RDJ as Sherlock Holmes. I need to stop typing, before I dissolve into incoherency that would only be expressed as "HOLY SHIT HOT HOT GUH WANT MOVIE EYES HAIR POCKETS SMILE NO STUBBLE SEX ESCAPE WANT SMIRK PRON ASSAULT LUST DAMN DAMN DAMN" and I really don't want to have to translate that out of fangirl squee.
This was a very late entry. I'm sorry for ruining everything. Might post later, after a few hours studying Robert Downey, Jr. For literary value, of course.
- LV
Spoilers For FREAKANGELS Below:
* No Karl, which means KARL LIVES FOR ANOTHER WEEK. I do like that Alice's response to a psychic trying to kill her is more violence. Girl has no fear. Luke has a big penis. I'm sorry, it needed to be said. Do you know how rarely I've seen male genitalia in comics? It's always breasts, breasts, breasts, but they usually sneakily obscure the guys' dangly bits. Even Dr. Manhattan, he of the Blue Peen of Distraction, was strategically covered a lot of the time. Or we stared at his muscular buttocks.
It's interesting that only a few of the Freakangels know that Karl killed Mark, or felt his brain die, or whatever. And once again I am awed by Luke's absolute douchery, and find it almost charming, because it takes a lot of confidence and rampant egotism - nay, sociopathic tendencies - to be that indignant over getting caught RAPING someone, and having people react badly to it. So I sort of almost enjoy Luke's evil, which I suspect means that he will kill Karl and I will be bereft, because that is how things work. I love this comic.
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