Friday, July 27, 2007

I Have Mosquito Bites On My Legs That Might Make Me Dead

So, I'm a genius. I know, I know, you're all shocked. But here's why:

I know why The Simpsons will always be a better loved and more highly regarded show than Family Guy.

Superficially, the shows are identical. They both feature middle-class white (or yellow) families. The husband is an idiot. The wife is hot, and usually much smarter than her man. There are three children, and a dog. One of the children is very bright, one is an idiot, and one is just sort of 'there.' They both have massive amounts of pop culture references and celebrity guests.

Of course, there are differences. The dog in Family Guy is an actual character, as is the baby. Marge and Homer have much larger extended families. Family Guy treads closer to the edge of surrealism, while The Simpsons keeps its feet firmly in 'reality' (except for the Halloween episodes, which are incidental).

So, why do I believe - nay, KNOW - that Family Guy will NEVER be The Simpsons?

Love. Yes, a corny answer. Deeply corny. Even for me. But it's true.

The characters on Family Guy do not love each other. Oh, Lois and Peter have a few 'sweet' moments, although they seem deeply manufactured. But they openly despise their only daughter, and tend to ignore their other children, when they're not being nasty or manipulative. In fact, the only affection that seems genuine is that of Brian, the DOG, who has romantic feelings for Lois and genuine concern for the much-abused Meg.

But I never have felt like these characters give a shit about anyone else. They are self-involved, selfish, vain people who enjoy belittling their 'loved ones.' I'm not saying this isn't funny. It can be fucking hysterical. The scatalogical humor of the show can be remarkable, and it's very clever. But that's all it is. It's clever. And this issue is exacerbated by the fact that the creators seem to consider this shallowness to be a profound statement on something. Like an commentary on Americans.

Maybe it is. But watching the show, no matter how fun it may be, is fleeting entertainment. The plot has no purpose. It's just a string of weird, mean-spirited jokes. You might think I hate the show - I don't (I own the first three seasons). I think it's funny, and smart, and highly irreverent. But it leaves me cold.

Watch The Simpsons, and you'll realize something: the characters all love each other. The Simpsons is one of only two cartoons that can make me CRY (the other is the long-cancelled epic genius of Gargoyles). Remember the episode where Homer became smart, and bonded with Lisa? Then decided it was too much for him, and became dumb again? But first he wrote her that beautiful letter? Yep. Sobbed like a prison bitch.

And then there are the episodes surrounding Marge and Homer's courtship, which still strikes me as one of the most authentic romances on television, animation or not. There's one line I insist is one of the most romantic EVER. Homer says that he has all these voices in his head that are always saying different things, but when he looks at Marge, "they all say yes."

Even Homer and Bart - famous for strangling violence and insane practical jokes - have genuine affection (and even admiration) for each other. Watching that show, I never ever doubt that there are real emotions behind this family. Even Maggie (who's basically a non-entity sight-gag) had that episode where she ran away to find Marge.

There are dozens of other examples, but I fear many of you have already stopped reading. Those of you who ARE still reading should beat the fucking shit out of those idiots who stopped, and maybe set their pubes on fire. Think about it.

But I digress. The Simpsons Movie came out today, to rave reviews (much to my relief, although I was going to see it if it caused immediate insanity and a nasty rash), and I was wondering how this show had survived for seventeen years. And the answer, trite as it may be, is love. Of course, the show is also brilliantly funny and remarkably intelligent, and puts most 'serious' shows to total shame.

But the bottom line is love. These characters care for each other. And audiences see that, even if they don't verbalize it. No matter how much this family goes through, and how much they fight and argue and commit weird acts and upset powerful celebrities, at the end of the day, they're there for each other. I can honestly say I love these characters.

I enjoy the members of the Griffin family, and watch it with pleasure. But it will never reverbrate, will never have the cultural significance that The Simpsons enjoys. Because Matt Groening has created an insane, weird, dysfunctional, ill-educated (except for Lisa), immature family. And they love each other in a way that doesn't require explanation. And so do we.

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