Day 17 Of Unemployment: Strange Rumblings At The End Of August

Random thoughts and traumatizing incidents.* I have seen two roaches in three days. I have sprayed with Raid and set traps, and I saw one AFTER that. And I can't caulk the entire fucking apartment. Can I? How does one caulk? I just want them to leave me alone! I don't want them to die. Just to be far, far away from me and my hysterical screaming. Any advice?* Last night, after walking home from a movie (more on it below), a very drunk Irish guy threw a paper Heineken coaster at me. He missed, laughed, and hugged me. Then he asked me where I was going. He was very drunk, I was very hot and tired, and overall it wasn't what I needed.* Today, reading in the park, minding my OWN fucking business. Some random homeless guy came over, sat down beside me, and ran his hand up my thigh. I beat a hasty retreat.* Saw The 11th Hour last night. It was OK. Main problem is that Leonardo DiCaprio is too attractive to be taken seriously. He's not on my list of crushes or anything. He's just very pretty. And it's hard to take him seriously, although I'm sure he's very smart and cares a lot about the environment. He's just pretty. And unexpected. But any movie with Stephen Hawking AND Gore Vidal is worth seeing, right?* I'm watching The 40-Year-Old-Virgin for the second time today - first time with the commentary, now without. It's a funny fucking movie. And surprisingly sweet. Which is why everything Judd Apatow does is awesome. Let's all be friends with him.* I went to McSorley's today. It was fucking incredible. After reading about it for years, I finally got to go with Esse and her family. We drank ale and ate the most awe-inspiring meal ever - a sliced hunk of cheddar cheese, a sliced onion, and a packet of saltine crackers. And they make you pay for this. It was really good. I love it. I want to live there. The big tough men would protect me from the fucking roaches.* DEAR GOD THE FUCKING ROACHES I HATE BUGS SO MUCH WHY CAN'T THEY LEAVE ME ALONE I JUST WANT THEM TO BE ELSEWHERE THEY ARE HUGE AND TERRIFYING AND EVIL AND WHAT IF THEY CRAWL UP YOUR UNMENTIONABLES WHILE YOU'RE SLEEPING YOU WOULD NEVER GET OVER THAT SHIT EVER MAN GUYS DON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT VERY REAL FEAR ROACHES ARE GROSS AND EVIL AND SCARY OH GOD MAKE THEM GO MAKE THE BAD MEN STOP I NEED AN ADULT!So that's it for now. I have a bad headache from the fucking Raid. And I'm going to go spray more now. Also I need to buy bay leaves. Roaches dislike bay leaves. Roaches have taken over my life pretty quickly and easily. We should respect and fear them. I just fear them. Seriously, may the roaches go to your home. No offense, but I cannot deal with them. May they go to your home, and may you get them exterminated. Because I am a howling nervous wreck when it comes to anything with more than four legs, and you should deal with them instead of me.- LV

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