Today Elle Learned...

Technology (read: Facebook) sucks. Because people you've avoided for months learn about your life, and call you and it's awful and awkward. So Facebook is on my shitlist, and phones. And pretty much most things that aren't cigarettes and my bed.

But I will persist, because the alternative is basically crying under the bed, and it's dusty under there.
- LV

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My Business Is Done!

Just some notes:

* Finally downloaded my entire iTunes library to hard drive, and burned every CD I own (except a few incredibly awful CDs I refuse to admit ever purchasing) (and why do I have so many Punk-O-Ramas?). I have 8,416 songs. I wants more. Music is good.

* My family got a dog. After my first dog died last winter, we finally got a new one for my little brother (and, since I'm moving home, like, now, me). He's a one year old pure white Australian Shepherd/Labrador mix. I got to name him, so his name is Hunter S. Thompson. Yes, it does say that on his adoption papers, and we only use his first name... well, my mom uses his full name when he's chewing on stuff. He's very sweet. He was abused, though, so we're trying to make him as relaxed as possible. My dad loves him, mainly because he's housebroken.

* As stated before, I'm moving home, like, now. As in, we're going on Friday to get most of my stuff, and I'll be officially out by June 15th. It's weird. I'm relieved I'll no longer be living in constant fear of animals crawling on me, but I'm going to miss New York, and my freedom.

* Job interview tomorrow with a company in Jersey I have no interest in working for. But I figure if I get the job and work for a few months, I can get the hell out of Dodge.

* Moving home after living away for four years SUCKS. Like, really sucks. Nobody told me how much this would suck. And not having your own car when you live in an area that can only be traversed in a vehicle? Painful. Physically painful.

* The Wii FIt is the greatest invention since sliced bread. Worship and fear it.

* I can't decide if moving home to live in my parent's basement is a tragic cliche, or an ironic post-modern statement, and frankly I'd rather it be neither.
- LV

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Another Watchmen Comment

Whatever happens in the rest of the movie, however they might manage to fuck up this film, Jackie Earle Haley is going to be an amazing Rorschach. I'm watching LITTLE CHILDREN, and he's simultaneously tragic and terrifying. I both feel badly for him, and want him to stay far away from me for the rest of my life

That being said, Rorschach is one of my all-time favorite fictional characters, and I will be seriously cranky if he is not represented correctly. Like, violently cranky. Irked, even. But watching this movie, at least Haley is physically perfect for the role. Now all that remains is to see if he can do The Voice...

Still downloading songs. Up to 6,937.
- LV

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Let's Just Assume I'm In New Jersey Unless I Say Otherwise...

Although Pittsburgh is my dad's top choice for relocating.

Spent all day job-hunting, then decided to sell my vast CD collection for money. Have spent the rest of the day (and will probably the rest of the weekend) burning CDs to my computer, which probably can't handle the obscene load. Then I'll have to go throug and delete the multiples.

I am dull.

In other news... Actually, yeah. The CD thing is the most exciting part of today.

Tomorrow, my family's getting a dog. I might see INDIANA JONES this weekend. I rented two movies I may or may not watch. Vegan spaghetti carbonara tastes like someone hocked a loogie on your pasta.

Nope, still dull.
- LV

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Sweet Jesus' DONUTS

There is a rat in my apartment. Not a mouse, which wouldn't bother me. A rat. I thought a CAT had broken into my apartment until I noticed the tail. I actually jumped on a chair and screeched. I didn't know people did that in real life.

The exterminator came, but he put down that sticky shit. I think when I get home I'm going to throw it out. I'm against teh sticky traps, because they're cruel and also I don't want to INTERACT with the damn thing. I just want it to relocate.

Also, the roaches have been coming out in droves. I can't walk barefoot in my apartment right now. This is almost making me feel better about having to move out in like two months. Almost.

Going back to Jersey either today or tomorrow for The Talk yet again. Here is an annotated version of said Talk:
Parents: What do you want to do with your life?
ElleVee: I have no idea.
P: You need a job.
LV: I know.
P: Do you want to go back to school?
LV: I don't know.
P: Do you want us to lock you in the basement so as to hide your shameful existence from polite society?
LV: ....Can I bring my laptop?

It's circular arguing, and frankly I'm sick of it. I don't know what I want to do. I want to be IRON MAN's assistant, but PEPPER POTTS already has that job, and also they don't exist. All my ideal jobs are fictional. I may go sit outside Marvel or Vertigo with coffee and bribe people into hiring me. Or I'll get a fake beard and pretend to be Alan Moore. "Yes, I need all the original WATCHMEN stuff... And a free pass to the set of the movie. Of course I'm British, this is how we TALK you FOOL. I seem shorter? I shrank. I'm very sensitive about it, to be honest... the boobs? Well, it's a funny story..."

And we're back. It's a beautiful, glorious day in New York, and at this moment I don't want to leave. Then someone spits near my feet or I see another uber-hipster glare at me for some mysterious reason (they glare at everyone, but still), or I remember that it's a Wednesday and I'm sitting in a Starbucks drinking a water because I'm broke, and everyone else is at work or on summer vacation, and I'm suddenly annoyed with the city all over again.

I've seen three people dressed like Slash today. Is there a reason?

I probably do need a break from New York. Like when you're in love with someone, but you need to take a break before you get married. Especially when your love is a cheap bastard who won't give you a job anywhere.

I just wish I knew what I wanted to DO. I want to do something that involves movie and TV and books and comics. Find me a job. Go to it.

Oh, and I reviewed it in depth in my other blog, but the season finale of HOUSE made me cry like a prison bitch. It was that good. Anyone want to start a petition for ROBERT SEAN LEONARD to win a Golden Globe?
- LV

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More Shameless Promotion

Just posted the first review on The Fangirl Review. It's of ONCE UPON A TIME IN MEXICO, and isn't entirely coherent. Hopefully they will improve. Go read it and comment. Or else.

- LV

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Watchmen Stuff

I was just lying here feeling gross and googling WATCHMEN, since I spent most of the day reading it in between bouts of sickness, when I came across this comment on another blog, which is so fucking brilliant I wish I'd written it: 

"I thought the point of Watchmen was that superheroes are totally awesome, like, even more than ninjas, pirates and zombies put together and that smart people are crazy and want to kill us. And that sex in superhero costumes is wicked sweet."

The 'point' of things, is of course, subjective. People can and have written long tomes on the symbolism and metaphors of the work. On one level, that's what I spent my college career doing, so I support that. On the other hand, picking apart books and movies and comic can sometimes detract from the work itself. And the point of WATCHMEN is, ultimately, that it's a goddamn good story with great characters.

I'm rambling. Apologies all around.
- LV

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And In Other News...

I am so hungover that the room is wobbling, and I'm typing this through squinted eyes with a sou stomach that burns. My friend Esse kept buying me drinks, because I lack money. The upside is I left the house with twenty bucks, and returned with twenty bucks. The downside is if someone keeps buying you drinks, you sort of have to drink them. It's just rude otherwise.

And there's a rat/mouse hybrid in my apartment. A huge fucker, but possibly not full-on rat. It's a mat. Or a rouse. Or the roaches have finally evolved to ENORMOUS FUCKING SIZES. I don't know. My glasses weren't on.

This isn't one of the cute mice I caught and released. This is an evil bastard with NO SOUL. When it lunged at one point, I got the supreme delight of enacting a cliche, and jumped on a chair and screeched for several seconds.

I am sitting on my bed with my shoes on and my glasses clean and on my face. I still feel too dizzy and nauseous and vile to get up, but a dose of animalistic terror really does clear the head. I'll probably hide up here until I see it again, or a half an hour passes and I finish my bottle of water. Then I'll go for a walk. That about sums up what I can handle today. 

Maybe no drinking for a few days. Too much celebration for me. I am a party pooper.

In other news, I need to stop compulsively downloading music.

Crud. Now I need to go to the bathroom. Dare I trek to the lavatory, knowing such a fearsome beast is watching my every move, plotting my demise? To be continued...

- LV

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A Second Blog

I started another blog just for reviews of stuff. It's called the The Fangirl Review. It has nothing on it right now except an introductory post, but it will as soon as I get out of this funk and write something.

Trying to download the IRON MAN soundtrack.

I also added a Last.FM widget embeded thingy.

- LV

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HumDrum Updates

I've been in Jersey for nearly a week now, so if my creepy neighbors broke into my apartment and did terrible, terrible things to my stuff, I still don't know.

I was planning on heading home today, but my parents are insisting we all sit down and have A Talk about My Future, And When I'm Going To Stop Mooching Money.

The problem is, I don't know. I never get the jobs I apply for because either A) I'm totally unqualified and really have no business being interviewed at all, or B) I'm totally qualified, but someone out there is even more qualified, and probably fellated several people on their way to the office.

And I don't really know what I want to do. I want to write, yes, but I can never think up any good ideas. I want to review movies and books, and be several famous people's personal assistant. I would be a great agent or publicist or editor. The problem? No idea how to get those jobs.

I'm going to have to move, I suspect. I can't afford my apartment, and New York City is slowly beating me to death. I love it, but maybe a location change would do me some good. I don't really know. Job hunting sucks.

It's cold and wet and rainy, and I want to just lie here and read. But I will be a good, productive member of society, and just send out more useless job resumes instead.

At least I get to see my friend Kay on Friday, when she comes in to graduate. It's rough when all your best friends live in different states. I protest this chain of events.
- LV

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Two Months Of Silence

I know, I know, I've been remiss in my blogging (is anybody still out there?)

*insert echoing noise in empty, huge white hallway*

Suffice it to say, I've had a very busy, wonderful, awful, fun, tragic two months, and I'm exhausted. I also haven't felt the need to write, due to all the joy and horror. Too much, if that makes sense. But a few points (good ones, not bad. I don't share bad).

* I saw NEIL GAIMAN read, which was pretty damn cool, although saying hi to MIKE MIGNOLA was much more ass-kicking.
* I've written over 200 pages of my book. It may suck, but damn if it isn't going to get finished.
* I've lost nearly 50 pounds (not in the past two months - since last year), and have gone from a size 12 to a 2 or a 4.
* I'm still unemployed, and have come to loathe job interviews intensely.

I've decreed this week to be TV Turnoff Week For Elle, because I can actually recite some FOOD NETWORK episodes from memory. But I'm still going to watch HOUSE & GOSSIP GIRL. I refuse to give those up. Bite me.

Incidentally, the movie IRON MAN (which I was worried was going to suck ass) was the equivalent of 100 howling orgasms of pure goodness. IRON MAN has always been my favorite superhero, and ROBERT DOWNEY, JR is God. I have proof. You can't see it.

I'm off to coffee with a friend, then to send out an assload of resumes, then to write.
- LV

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