Milestone

1601 people have seen this blog.

Yet my Technorati listing has dropped like, 2 million spots. Weirdness.

I am dying from insomnia, and a bad stomach ache.

Have been very sad the past few days. February is shaping up to be as bad as January.
- LV

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House Moment

The superbowl madness is finally over, and my new HOUSE episode is on. I am watching it as I type, and enjoying it immensely. I still miss the old team, and want the new girl to go away forever because she makes me angry, but as I always say, as long as House is popping pills, pissing people off, and being brilliant (yay alliteration!), then I am a happy Elle.

Incidentally, they showed a promo spot for the next HOUSE on Tuesday, which was the most amazing commercial I've seen in years. It was funny and wonderful, and I loved it, so I'm posting it here for your viewing pleasure. I know, I can be so wonderful sometimes.



That's all. If I ever meet HUGH LAURIE, I will either laugh hysterically in a panic, be dead silent and worshipful, or faint dead away. It would be awesome.
- LV

PS The strike NEEDS to end, because I NEED more HOUSE. So if the writers could get what they want, that would make me very happy. Thank you all.

PPSS WHY THE FUCK WON'T MY LINK WORK?! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL! I'll try it again.

PPPSSS Never mind. YouTube issues. All is well. Enjoy.

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Lazy Sunday

Finished (I think) editing my story, which I am extremely pleased with. I'm going to let it sit for a day, then do one more pass. Then I'll send it out to be mocked and maligned by the publishing world.

I spent a long time just writing down any story idea that popped into my head. Most of it is science fiction/fantasy style, which shouldn't surprise me as much as it does. As we all know, I have a deep love for both genres (note DOCTOR WHO, ANGEL, HARRY POTTER, and the works of ALAN MOORE, WARREN ELLIS, NEIL GAIMAN, GARTH ENNIS, and dozens of others), but I never thought much of writing it myself. It always seemed (still seems) ridiculously hard to create a fantasy world. So my experiments in the genre are still firmly rooted in 'reality,' so as to scare me a little less.

I think MICHAEL CHABON has the right idea. He writes in any genre he wants. He doesn't just write humor, or romance, or historical fiction - he writes about whatever the hell he wants. I don't want to confine myself. I want to write horror, and comedy, and memoir-stuff, and chick-lit, and fantasy, and non-fiction. So that's what I'm going to do.

I also wrote an outline for a novel, which I don't think I've ever done before. Usually I would just throw myself into it, which is probably why after 10 or 20 pages, I would have no idea what the hell was going on. The outline itself went in a totally different direction than I originally intended, because I am convinced that if I include ANY real romance in this story, it will end up in the 'fantasy romance' section, and I will never be consoled. So no real romance - just lots of pretend romance and misunderstandings, which is more realistic anyway. It's sort of a TERRY PRATCHETT/CHRISTOPHER MOORE-style idea, but I'm hoping it will be good. Obviously - that's why I'm writing it.

I still want to expand my thesis and get it published. 63 pages, which seemed horribly long when I was writing it, is not nearly long enough for a whole book. But I'm reluctant to add more unless I have interest from a publisher/editor/agent/person with money. Can I just submit my thesis, with the promise of more pretty pages, or do I have to write the whole damn thing before I can start shopping it around? See, I need an agent to answer these questions. Or someone out there could. Answer it. Now.

I either have the flu, or a sinus infection. It's irrelevant, because either way I feel like shit. I want my head to stop pounding, and my nose to stop running. Medicine is failing me. I might splurge and get actual food, in an attempt to boost my immune system. Is pizza good for your immune system?

I applied at the bookstore nearby, which is actually hiring (!), and have an interview on Wednesday as a concession bitch at a movie theater. I might bail - 7.50/hr is actually worse than what I was getting paid at my last job. And that's BEFORE taxes, people.

Been reading FRAGILE THINGS by NEIL GAIMAN, which I bought when I applied at the bookstore, as well as rereading SHERLOCK HOLMES and AMY HEMPEL. I'm studying the structure of short stories, seeing what works and what doesn't. 

That's all, really. Quiet day. Sick Day. Going to read, and write, and watch the Food Network, which is my guilty pleasure channel. The weather is lovely; if my head clears a little, I may take a constitutional around the block.

- LV

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Neil Gaiman Quotes

"I wanted to put a reference to masturbation in one of the scripts for 'Sandman'. It was immediately cut by the editor. He told me, 'There's no masturbation in the DC Universe.' To which my reaction was, 'Well that expalins a lot about the DC Universe.'"

"Fuck, I won a Hugo!"

“I've been making a list of the things they don't teach you at school. They don't teach you how to love somebody. They don't teach you how to be famous. They don't teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. They don't teach you how to walk away from someone you don't love any longer. They don't teach you how to know what's going on in someone else's mind. They don't teach you what to say to someone who's dying. They don't teach you anything worth knowing.”

"The world is always ending, for someone."

"This is a work of fiction. All the characters in it, human and otherwise, are imaginary, excepting only certain of the fairy folk, whom it might be unwise to offend by casting doubts on their existence. Or lack thereof. "

"The world always seems brighter when you've just made something that wasn't there before."

"You get ideas from daydreaming. You get ideas from being bored. You get ideas all the time. The only difference between writers and other people is we notice when we're doing it."

"Tomorrow may be hell, but today was a good writing day, and on the good writing days nothing else matters."

"It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But the half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor. "

"Is the chemical aftertaste the reason why people eat hot dogs, or is it some kind of bonus? "

"Things need not have happened to be true. Tales and adventures are the shadow truths that will endure when mere facts are dust and ashes and forgotten. "

"We are always living in the final days. What have you got? A hundred years or much, much less until the end of your world."

"As far as I'm concerned, the entire reason for becoming a writer is not having to get up in the morning. "

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Things I Learned Today

Why the hell didn't anyone tell me the Post Office doesn't sell envelopes? And isn't that bizarre? Why don't they sell them? That's like... A car dealership not selling spare parts, or a video store (remember those archaic things?) not selling... um... DVDs. Bad example. But it's weird, and I don't approve. And I have no envelopes. Although I'm sure Kinko's would sell them. 

The publishing industry should just let me Email them everything. I demand it.

Found a dead roach by my bed this morning. Lovely thing to wake up to.

I'm feeling a bit under the weather. My friend wants me to go out to a party with her tonight, but I kind of just want to lie here, write, and watch TV until I stop feeling crappy. I'm not sick, but I'm getting there. I can feel the tiny germs banding together, mobilizing and preparing to attack. 

Cold cans of soup - not the diet for a strong, healthy body. 

MST3K should be restarted. I should restart it. The world needs it.

Have a good Saturday. I'm going to work on some stories. 

- LV

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All Hail Elle! Bow And Exalt At Her Virtual Feet

I just wrote a fucking good story. Not great, brilliant, or anything like that. But good. It's fucking good, and I am very happy. Just editing it now. 

Tomorrow I need to go to the Post Office and get envelopes, so I can send out submissions.

But I'm very pleased with my story, and wanted to share that.

No, you can't read it! It still needs to be perfected. And edited. But it's there. It exists. And it didn't until I wrote it.

That is a very heady feeling.

- LV

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It Was A Dark And Stormy Day...

I love cold, rainy days. I think they're very peaceful. They make me feel contemplative and serene.

Of course, I'd feel a lot better if my stomach wasn't hurting me so much. It feels like there's a tiny, angry man in my stomach with a pitchfork. Maybe eating cold cans of soup and little else isn't the wisest way to live. But it is cheap. And cheap beats out smart right now.

I submitted a poem to an online magazine the other day. It got rejected. I'm not surprised - it wasn't one of my better poems. But I liked it, and I'm a little disappointed. Poems don't make much money anyway. But still, being published is being published, right? And being rejected is being rejected.

I want a literary agent. Except I can't finish a single story, so I have nothing to offer anyone. It's aggravating - my story ideas are too dense for short stories, but I run out of ideas halfway through, so I end up with like thirty pages. Maybe they could be long short stories. I need a writing group, or a writing teacher, even though I am of the mentality that you can't learn to be a good writer.

But I digress. I have some E-Mails to write that might result in jobs, and then I'm working on the zombie story. Here are some of the projects I'm working on. Comments, suggestions, and open mockery are welcome.

* Zombie story, post-apocalyptic.

* Chick-lit, about writers and father/daughter relationships.

* High school presidential election with a sinister twist (short story).

* Author bargains with the devil.

* Death as a super-hero.

* Crime story I've been writing on and off since I was like, 13. 

None of its very good, but I'm still having trouble thinking up good ideas. Inspiration is standing a block away, mocking me and dancing just out of reach, promising glory and then throwing scraps in my direction.

Maudlin enough for you?

I want NEIL GAIMAN's career. He's had it for a long time - it's time to share, damn it. Incidentally, his blog is great. Very entertaining. I hope that reading the work of those I admire will inspire me. Or something.

So. I have a hot cup of coffee, bad daytime TV playing quietly in the background, and it's time to get to work. Hope everyone has a good day.

- LV

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