People I Love * Is this a sign I should get my third tattoo, and it should be Hunter S. Thompson related? Or just a sign that my friends and family know me well enough to send me things like this:
[Found at SloshPot] I think it's the former, but I really would like another tattoo.
[David Tennant, because I watched The End of Time last night, and I DO NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT, OK?! (Russell T. Davis can't write, and that scene at the bar was UNACCEPTABLE, and David Tennant is a much better actor than the material he is given). Bye, Ten.]
Girly Shit * This is a very ugly shoe: [Found at Shoe Lust] Not much I can add, really.
It has come to my attention that the music industry now wants royalties for those 30-second clips of music you hear in iTunes. That, I think you’ll agree, is bullshit. Seeing as how we’re a solution-oriented blog here at CrunchGear, I want to offer a completely fool-proof way to save the music industry and put an end to the years and years of nonsense we’ve seen since Napster was first released: let’s ban music. That’s right, let’s pass a law that says “the creation or performance of music, in any form, is hereby banned. Any violation of this law will be punishable by death.” Problem solved, let’s all play Hungry Hungry Hippos.
Is there some way we can make CrunchGear in charge of all music decisions? FOREVER? I'd vote for them.
Blog * I cannot emphasize how much I love Maurice Moss. Title is from The IT Crowd.
* I have a Tumblr now, although I'm honestly not quite sure what the hell I'm meant to do with it. But I HAVE one, and if you're curious, check it out, and add me.
Music * The following speakers cost $263,000.00: [Found at DVICE] I want you to stop and think about this. The speakers cost $263,000. MUSIC SPEAKERS. As in, if you're buying these things, it seems reasonable to spend over $260,000 on SPEAKERS. TO LISTEN TO MUSIC. WHICH MEANS YOU HAVE MONEY LEFT OVER. WHO IS BUYING THESE, AND WHY ARE THEY NOT MY FRIEND WHO LIKES TO LOAN ME MONEY?
Also, and this is entirely my own prejudice, I highly doubt anyone buying these speakers has good music taste. They're probably listening to Milli Vanili. I NEED TO BELIEVE THIS AS I LISTEN TO EXCELLENT MUSIC ON MY SAD, $30.00 speakers that I had to CHARGE OH GOD WHY IS LIFE SO UNFAIR?
Fandom * OH, COME ON: [Found at Regretsy] This is creepy. Imposing your face into a picture of your fandom? That is the sort of thing that lands you on a list. A Bad List. You want to Photoshop things like that, FINE, but don't pay other people to do it for you. Hell, I'll PhotoShop it for you, for free, just so you don't spend your money on things like this. Although 'GWASH' is sort of a great word.
Whut? * It's the last day of the break, and honestly I have no IDEA what the internet is trying to do to me, because WHEN DID WE INVENT CAT FOOD SCENTED SOAP? [Found at Nerd Approved] Do you use it to attract the cats? Or to smell like cats when you're away from home. CAT FOOD SMELLS LIKE SICK. Cats don't even like how it smells, they are simply drawn to it like the CRACK it is.
Comics * Marvel SmartAss mocks because he loves. The following panel manages to include both: [Found at Marvel SmartAss] He explains what he loves by DERISION. I just mock. It's a rare and wonderful skill. Plus, he adores Stan Lee FOR the corniness, rather than trying to get around it. I respect that. Stan Lee's corny writing is one of his most endearing qualities. Plus, Iron Man.
Daily Hot Guy [Note: Either later today or tomorrow there is going to be a David Tennant pic!spam, because I am preparing myself to watch The End of Time today, and I am fully prepared for it to wreck me. Ergo, Pictures of David Tennant will comfort me in my darkest hour. My darkest TV hour. Shut up STOP JUDGING ME.] [Fran Kranz, AKA Topher from Dollhouse, and WHY is this picture so sensual to me? Like, I find it very sexy. Is it the couch? Is it him ON the couch? Do I have a couch problem that needs further investigation? I don't need this. It's Sunday, and I'm tired, and I have work to do, so someone send over Topher. With that couch. We're going to watch Doctor Who.]
Books * I love weird books. This is a whole website of weird books, titled, appropriately, BookFail. I want these books. But not this one: [Found at BookFail] The girl on the cover terrifies me.
Doctor Who * RUN, DAVID TENNANT! RUN FROM RUSSELL T. DAVIES AND HIS DESTRUCTION OF ALL GOOD THINGS.
If you need me, I'll be ingesting huge amounts of caffeine to psychologically prepare myself for The End Of Time. - LV
As you will find out, Torchwood is explosions and fucking. This makes it the best damn show ever.
And
Ianto Jones- Has sex with Jack and makes tea. He also shot Owen.
And
Captain Jack Harkness- Has fucked everybody ever. Also he can't die. This is probably important.
The whole thing is brilliant and hilarious and ACCURATE, and I may be getting ready to watch Children of the Earth again.
People I Love * So I really do adore Eli Roth, despite (or because of) his inherent douchery. He seems like a fun, sexy asshole. We need more of those. And I loved Cabin Fever, even though the Hostel movies make me angry and sad and very uncomfortable, because frankly I don't LIKE watching people get tortured to death. Anyway, this explains a lot:
Horror movie director Eli Roth has revealed that he once worked as a sex chat room operator, posing as a woman.
It all makes sense now.
TeeVee * I miss The X-Files (in particular Fox Mulder, who I had a truly unhinged love for, his addiction to porn notwithstanding, and his sunflower seeds, and.... what were we talking about?) and each week I was almost invariably scared out of my shit, and would spend the rest of the week sobbing myself to sleep because multi-fingered blind kids were going to walk up my street and die, or eat each other, or something.
Awesome * Bananas are good. Now you can save bananas with this clip, and I know it's a goddamn clip, but for some reason I find it to be unvbelievably clever, and I want one. [Found at Boing Boing] Really, this amazes me. It's SO SIMPLE AND BRILLIANT. Now I want a banana. And a sonic screwdriver.
Movie!Win I am going to see Kick-Ass, and I refuse to apologize for this, because it looks fun and entertaining and cool people shoot shit, and I am EASILY PLEASED BY SUCH THINGS. Also the trailer is awesome:
Found by ThatRevChap, who has secret internet powers, so be nice to him or he'll destroy us all. He totally could. He's English.
Daily Hot Guy [Seth Green, who could fit in most people's pocket, but not mine, because I am tiny, so we are a perfect match. He's hot. Leave me alone.]
Wow * Do these remind anyone else of Monty Python? [Found at Unique Daily] Please tell me I'm not alone in this. I'm scared. WTF, JAPAN?
Fourth but not least, I can't imagine Michael Bay not casting Fox in TF3. He's such a hack that he'd never let anything like that get in the way of making a jillion-dollar movie. He's never cared about anything like that before. If suddenly Michael Bay's "dignity" is such that he can't work with Megan Fox, after selling out HARDER THAN ANYONE ELSE EVER HAS IN THE HISTORY OF EVER AND NEVER MORE PROMINENTLY THAN IN TRANSFORMERS WITH ITS RACIST GMC CARS AND LG PHONES AND PEANUTS AND COUNTLESS OTHER BULLSHIT I WILL KILL HIM. I WILL KILL MICHAEL BAY FOR HIS HYPOCRISY AND I WILL WEAR HIS SKIN.
Although a Michael Bay wardrobe would be funny, right?
WTF, INTERNET? * And it's a rare NSFW WTF, INTERNET. It's a thing for people who want to enjoy alone-time happiness, called a vibrator. Only unlike most others out there, this one is made from recycled materials, and you have to hand-crank it for 4 minutes to make it work for 30. Now, CARPAL TUNNEL SYNDROME DOES NOT MAKE FOR SEXY TIMES. And by the time you're done cranking that freaking thing (and how does one FEEL, I wonder, cranking a vibrator?) you're so tired and frustrated and out of sorts that you just want to go to sleep and be left alone, and WHO IS INVENTING THIS CRAP, AND HOW DO WE GET THEM TO STOP?
Girly Shit * As someone who loves Lady Gaga, I have a high threshold for strange fashion choices (I also have bright red hair, but that's another story). But even I find this dress worn by Rihanna repulsive and uncomfortable, and do not want it to catch on, OK? [Found at World Of Wonder] THERE IS SO MUCH WRONG WITH THIS DRESS. IT LOOKS COLD AND ITCHY AND HAS STRANGE OPENINGS, AND THE PATTERN IS FREAKISH, and I really do like her hair, but THAT IS IRRELEVANT WHEN FACED WITH THIS DRESS. WHO SUGGESTED THIS OUTFIT? IT'S THE SAME PERSON WHO GIVES US HAND-CRANKED SEX TOYS, ISN'T IT?
Pictures from stuff I bought will appear later, because I am promoting the shit out of nice people I know who sell things. AND I GOT MAKEUP AND CUTE SHIRTS. YAY ME. - LV
I will forever love Carey Mulligan for wearing my favourite dress from the Thakoon Resort 2010 collection. I adore this colorful dress, which drapes better on the runway. It’s like opening a packet of Starburst.
Carey Mulligan wore a Lanvin Resort 2010 strapless floral silk cloqué dress with floral appliqué at hip, paired with a black clutch and black Christian Louboutin studded pigalle heels.
In a colorful Prada dress. In a rather beautiful silver-steel grey gown with an elaborate necklace neckline.
Carey wore this leather gladiatorial Prada Fall 2009 studded dress and rocks it. Only the somewhat safe pieces have been worn from this collection, so I really admire Carey as she really went for it. Many will mock her and I’m sure many will hate this look, but I applaud the British actress.
Carey wore a Prabal Gurung Spring 2010 black beaded chiffon strapless dress with shirttail hem and silk faille bowtie to cinched in her waist. She teamed her dress with tortoise-shell heels and a chunky gold bracelet. I’m loving her quiff 'do.
Madeleine Vionnet (an absolute favorite designer of mine!) was a French fashion designer who’s label was founded in Paris in 1912.
She was called the “Queen of the bias cut” pioneering the process of draping; inventing the bias cut and making dresses from one piece of fabric thus liberating women from the corset.
Carey Mulligan's bordeaux Vionnet Resort 2010 jersey dress (designed by Rodolfo Paglialunga) with the trademark draping on the hips was accented with a gold floral brooch. I will imagine the caped detail on the back kept her warm. Nude colored Vionnet heels and a deep burgundy clutch completed this beautiful look.
Carey wears a heavily beaded and embroidered Prada Spring 2010 dress paired with shoes with a clear heel from the same collection.
This red striped Bottega Veneta Spring 2010 looks simple yet still chic on Carey Mulligan. Her look is paired with Sergio Rossi black stamped suede gladiators heels, and black woven Bottega Veneta origami patent clutch.
Blog Kinky! And I think illegal, at least in a few states. Title is from Six Feet Under.
* Happy New Year! I hope that 2010 finds you with rocket lasers, and robot sex slaves, and flying rocket boots of sex. Or whatever.
* I KNEW I forgot someone awesome yesterday, and I am bereft, and hang my head in shame. To make up for my hideous oversight, please go read Marvel Smart Ass, who is brilliant and snarky and a gentleman and a scholar.
Food!Win * Let's start 2010 off with a deep-fried caloric ORGY, shall we? [Found at This Is Why You're Fat] Hot apple-bacon turnovers with icing? YES, please. Although rumor has it that bologna is the new bacon, and that soon bacon will be our PARENT'S meat product, man.
I love bologna sandwiches. Bologna with American cheese, lettuce, tomato, on rye bread. Get me one.
Girly!Want * In 2010, I would like this jacket: [Found at Haute Macabre] Only the chances of me wearing it in a field of wheat sans pants is rather unlikely. That's not really how I roll.
Whut? * My hatred of raisins is well-known in my social circle. I hate them. I despise them. They are the fruit of SATAN. But even if I loved raisins in all their shriveled glory, I still think I'd be scared of the Sun-Maid Girl:
This may be scarier than The Ring. This is the face you see before you die. AND YOU THOUGHT RAISINS WEREN'T EVIL. BAH.
Fandom * I can't decide if this is awesome or terrible, and finally I decided it was awesome, because My Little Pony plus Star Wars equals the best babysitting time ever: [Found at Unique Daily]
Star Trek * In 2010, the Oscars will be ruled by GEEKS, HAHHA! And Star Trek will win every Oscar ever, and Chris Pine will celebrate by taking off his clothes, and.... what are we talking about? Who are you people, again?
Art * I love this Venn Diagram of Art and Science, because it is TRUE and WISE, and also the accompanying article is true, wise, and funny. [Found at Ariana Osborne] The best art has elements of science, and the best science has hints of art in it. THEY ARE THE SAME. Except I'm not afraid of art.
Daily Hot Guy [John Krasinski. In a suit. Happy New Year, indeed. Requested by Kristamaru, zombie fighter and general badass.]
WTF, INTERNET? * Now you too can grow herbs out of the President's skull: [Found at Amazon] Really, this just... I do not get it. Why would I want to grow plants out of a President's head? I've never gotten the who Chia Pet thing with humans. I mean, am I weird? Is it abnormal to have no desire to plant things in the head of the Chief of Staff? Should I seek counseling?
The thing that really gets me, however, is the two faces of Obama. You can either have a Happy Plant President, or a Determined Plant President. THEY HAVE DIFFERENT EXPRESSIONS.
I like to imagine Happy Plant President has just experienced a refreshing summer rain, while Determined Plant President is staring down a lawnmower.
Last question: Was there a George W. Bush Chia Pet? Because his last name makes for some hilarious marketing possibilities. Just saying.
Music * I listen to the music Warren Ellis tells me to listen to, because he is somewhat scary and has no problem beating people with chair legs of truth, and I am small and do not want to be beaten with furniture. And Surf Solar is quite good, actually.
I am saying this of my own free will.
Comics * Remember when Jhonen Vasquez was awesome, and had made Squee! And Johnny the Homicidal Maniac and Filler Bunny and Invader Zim, and we all loved him and his weird?
Then he sort of went bad-insane, and made Jellyfist, and went away because he was being hunted by the assassins from Nickelodeon for making the Invader Zim comic finale entirely about space piggies?
Politics * Let me make this as simple and inoffensive as I can: - Conservatives: If you want to convert liberals, fine, but please do not mention 'Convert-A-Liberal Day,' as it immediately invalidates ALL your arguments. - Liberals: If a conservative wants to convert you, politely listen to their arguments, as they may have some good points. And if they mention 'Convert-A-Liberal Day,' you have the legal right to laugh and mention Tea-Bagging. Fair? I think so.
Epic!Fail * I'm going to let this article speak for itself, because honestly, TASING CHILDREN IS ONLY FUNNY IF YOU ARE NOT A POLICE OFFICER:
And I want to sue The Jetsons for lying to me. I do not have Rosie the Robot to clean up after me. THAT IS UNFAIR.
Oh, and for those of you paying attention, I've joined NaBloPoMo, which means I'm going to blog every day without fail, NO MATTER WHAT. Except zombie apocalypse (although can you IMAGINE the entry?) Join the site to keep track, send out links, whatever. SUPPORT FEAR AND LOATHING IN 2010.
[David Tennant, because I watched The End of Time last night, and I DO NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT, OK?! (Russell T. Davis can't write, and that scene at the bar was UNACCEPTABLE, and David Tennant is a much better actor than the material he is given). Bye, Ten.]
