Blog* Reason number infinity why I love Topher in all his demented, bizarre glory. Title is from Dollhouse.Torchwood* This may be the funniest and most accurate piece ever written on Torchwood:
As you will find out, Torchwood is explosions and fucking. This makes it the best damn show ever.And
Ianto Jones- Has sex with Jack and makes tea. He also shot Owen.And
Captain Jack Harkness- Has fucked everybody ever. Also he can't die. This is probably important.The whole thing is brilliant and hilarious and ACCURATE, and I may be getting ready to watch Children of the Earth again.People I Love* So I really do adore Eli Roth, despite (or because of) his inherent douchery. He seems like a fun, sexy asshole. We need more of those. And I loved Cabin Fever, even though the Hostel movies make me angry and sad and very uncomfortable, because frankly I don't LIKE watching people get tortured to death.Anyway, this explains a lot:
Horror movie director Eli Roth has revealed that he once worked as a sex chat room operator, posing as a woman.It all makes sense now.TeeVee* I miss The X-Files (in particular Fox Mulder, who I had a truly unhinged love for, his addiction to porn notwithstanding, and his sunflower seeds, and.... what were we talking about?) and each week I was almost invariably scared out of my shit, and would spend the rest of the week sobbing myself to sleep because multi-fingered blind kids were going to walk up my street and die, or eat each other, or something.But there were some funny episodes, that kept my panic levels down, and here are the funniest, for your edification.Awesome* Bananas are good. Now you can save bananas with this clip, and I know it's a goddamn clip, but for some reason I find it to be unvbelievably clever, and I want one.[Found at Boing Boing]Really, this amazes me. It's SO SIMPLE AND BRILLIANT. Now I want a banana. And a sonic screwdriver.Movie!WinI am going to see Kick-Ass, and I refuse to apologize for this, because it looks fun and entertaining and cool people shoot shit, and I am EASILY PLEASED BY SUCH THINGS. Also the trailer is awesome:Found by ThatRevChap, who has secret internet powers, so be nice to him or he'll destroy us all. He totally could. He's English.Daily Hot Guy[Seth Green, who could fit in most people's pocket, but not mine, because I am tiny, so we are a perfect match. He's hot. Leave me alone.]Wow* Do these remind anyone else of Monty Python?[Found at Unique Daily]Please tell me I'm not alone in this. I'm scared. WTF, JAPAN?Animals* Am I the only one who would totally watch a kids' movie about Snowball, the Overweight Hedgehog?[Found at The Daily Mail]I think not. He is a fat little hedgehog, and I want to poke his belly!Tattoo Of Win[Found by BenjaminBarnes, finder of goodness]Movie!Fail* Can we as a species agree to no more Transformers movies? PLEASE? Look what it's doing to Topless Robot!
Fourth but not least, I can't imagine Michael Bay not casting Fox in TF3. He's such a hack that he'd never let anything like that get in the way of making a jillion-dollar movie. He's never cared about anything like that before. If suddenly Michael Bay's "dignity" is such that he can't work with Megan Fox, after selling out HARDER THAN ANYONE ELSE EVER HAS IN THE HISTORY OF EVER AND NEVER MORE PROMINENTLY THAN IN TRANSFORMERS WITH ITS RACIST GMC CARS AND LG PHONES AND PEANUTS AND COUNTLESS OTHER BULLSHIT I WILL KILL HIM. I WILL KILL MICHAEL BAY FOR HIS HYPOCRISY AND I WILL WEAR HIS SKIN.Although a Michael Bay wardrobe would be funny, right?WTF, INTERNET?* And it's a rare NSFW WTF, INTERNET. It's a thing for people who want to enjoy alone-time happiness, called a vibrator. Only unlike most others out there, this one is made from recycled materials, and you have to hand-crank it for 4 minutes to make it work for 30.Now, CARPAL TUNNEL SYNDROME DOES NOT MAKE FOR SEXY TIMES. And by the time you're done cranking that freaking thing (and how does one FEEL, I wonder, cranking a vibrator?) you're so tired and frustrated and out of sorts that you just want to go to sleep and be left alone, and WHO IS INVENTING THIS CRAP, AND HOW DO WE GET THEM TO STOP?Girly Shit* As someone who loves Lady Gaga, I have a high threshold for strange fashion choices (I also have bright red hair, but that's another story). But even I find this dress worn by Rihanna repulsive and uncomfortable, and do not want it to catch on, OK?[Found at World Of Wonder]THERE IS SO MUCH WRONG WITH THIS DRESS. IT LOOKS COLD AND ITCHY AND HAS STRANGE OPENINGS, AND THE PATTERN IS FREAKISH, and I really do like her hair, but THAT IS IRRELEVANT WHEN FACED WITH THIS DRESS. WHO SUGGESTED THIS OUTFIT? IT'S THE SAME PERSON WHO GIVES US HAND-CRANKED SEX TOYS, ISN'T IT?Pictures from stuff I bought will appear later, because I am promoting the shit out of nice people I know who sell things. AND I GOT MAKEUP AND CUTE SHIRTS. YAY ME.- LV
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