Tuesday, December 22, 2009

NOD! Nod At What I Am Saying Or I Will Shoot!

Blog
* See, this is why I can't go to court. Because this seems a good way to convince the jury. Title is from Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law.

* If you want to know about books, you read Irish's blog. She writes thoughtful reviews, tells you about fun contests, and knows her SHIT. She's also scary smart and funny, but that almost goes without saying.

I remember when I had time to read, before the internet and work and friends and my attention span shrank to the size of a dime. Good times, good times.

Daily Buy
* I already wrote, in my other blog, about how unfair it is that being a girl seems to negate your ability to receive action figures for Christmas, and how I do indeed want designer clothes and makeup, and yarn, and Doctor Who DVDs, and action figures, and a goat.
So let me just say that I desperately need this Hot Toys' Joker:

[Found at Amazon]
It costs $134.59, and belongs in my life. Thank you.

Holiday!Fail
* There is so much wrong with this picture. So, so much.....

[Found at Santa, No!]
I can't even... his face.... the candle.... what sort of music is ON this CD?

Politics
* Is this happening today? Or was it last week? I have no sense of time anymore. I always assume there is an extra week in December, and there ISN'T, which wreaks havoc on my schedule. Anyway, it seems that teabaggers were/are going to go into Senate offices and pretend to fall down dead, to prove a point of massive importance. I don't know why. Because healthcare is bad? Oh, because government healthcare is bad. OK. Well. Um. I somehow suspect that pretending to fall down dead in a Senator's office will not increase the validity of the teabagger movement. Just a thought.

* Because a lot of people give a shit about Tiger Woods and his harem of women-sex-pals and the whole debacle, even though I am not among them and would rather stop hearing about it, but what I want doesn't matter to the media, because there would be a WHOLE CHANNEL devoted exclusively to Arrested Development, Firefly, and all the other shows I love that got cancelled prematurely. What were we talking about? Oh, yes, well, the International Society of Supervillians looks at the CNN coverage of Tiger Woods, and journalistic integrity is already dead, so let's just enjoy the drama of the man who hits tiny balls with a stick!

Epic!Fail
* So, once upon a time a woman, let's call her Leslie, attends her sister's surprise birthday party. Leslie's sister and her friends are in the theater watching New Moon, when all the friends start singing 'Happy Birthday,' thrilling Leslie's sister at their thoughtful gesture.

Unsurprisingly, Leslie wants to record this, and videotapes the event for posterity. It comes to about four minutes of footage.

This, however, is a bit shocking:
Meanwhile, 22-year-old Samantha Tumpach spent two nights in jail for recording her friends singing "Happy Birthday" at a movie theater, for capturing less than four minutes of a feature film. She is charged with a felony and if convicted, could lose the right to vote, to work with children, to hold office, and to partake in full civil life.

Really, universe? The girl caught four minutes of a movie on camera, and it's a FELONY? I mean, people are murdering and stealing and committing terrible, terrible crimes, and THIS is what we're freaking out about? TWO NIGHTS IN JAIL?

Have we as a nation become so demented that this seems like a LOGICAL RESPONSE?

Yes, yes, the charges have since been dropped, but the point is that THEY WERE MADE. THIS IS CRAZED. This girl wasn't some fan trying to get a bootleg copy of the movie. THE MOVIE WAS INCIDENTAL. WHY IS THIS SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND?

Technology
* If you follow me on Twitter, you probably know that I love getting presents almost as much as I love giving them. And with Christmas but a few days away, my bitter little atheist heart is melted a bit by upcoming festivities, foods, family, and free stuff.

On the downside, I start to get into a mental state where I want everything I see online, all the while cheerfully admitting I have no clue as to what it is.

This is one such item:

[Found at The World's Best Ever]
It's a sidecar, thing, and it's red and it goes fast, and maybe if I learn to ride it without dying I can meet Tony Stark? Also it's French. I don't know. But I need one.

Books
* Sheepterror, who I defer to on all things Torchwood related, because she is a GENIUS, and just generally cool, shared this link of comic book artists illustrating their favorite science fiction authors. He's not a science fiction author, but this may be my favorite, for obvious reasons:

[Found at Wired]
I really do need to get a Hunter S. Thompson tattoo of some sort. Not this, but something. AND it's drawn by Ben Templesmith, which makes it even BETTER. This picture also made me very happy:

[Found at Wired]
I love Jorge Luis Borges. HARDCORE. I'd really recommend his short fiction if you've never read his work. You're missing out. Trippy as hell. Like a mix of Gabriel Garcia Marquez and H.P. Lovecraft, but uniquely its own work as well.

Daily Hot Guy

[Matt Damon. He is HOT. And wicked smart, and he's charming and funny and from BOSTON, which is currently my favorite city in America. AND he's going to be Jason Bourne again, and maybe it won't suck, no?]

Nostalgia!Win
* I am a child of the nineties (untrue, technically. I was born in the 80s, but since I had limited motor skills and don't remember jack shit, so I qualify myself as a nineties kid, since I can RECALL the nineties), but I remember most of these arcade games from the Jersey Shore arcade, and I think these totally fucked up games sum up my generation, and the one right before me, amazingly well. DOES ANYONE ELSE REMEMBER ANTEATER?


Torchwood
* Speaking of Torchwood, and Gareth David-Lloyd, Miss Laroux sent me this video, in which Mr. David-Lloyd discusses, um, fisting. No, really:

HE SAYS SWEARS AND THEY SOUND CLASSY, CUZ WELSH ACCENTS MAKE EVERYTHING DAMN CLASSY.

People I Love
* I love Leonard Cohen, even AFTER the Sex Scene of Uncomfortable Laughing And Sneezy-Looking 'O' Face And Please Tell Me It Was Supposed To Be Funny, Mr. Snyder that it played over in Watchmen. I clearly still have serious problems with that part of the film.

Moving on, Leonard Cohen invented a drink, called The Red Needle, and I think I should partake of it whilst listening to some of his music, which is lovely.

Movie!Fail
* I genuinely like many of Gus Van Sant's movies. I think My Own Private Idaho was beautiful, and Good Will Hunting and Drugstore Cowboy and Milk are all very well done and lovely. And To Die For is criminally underrated.

I used to be a big fan of Bret Easton Ellis, although now I suspect his books are better as movies, and that American Psycho is sort of rubbish in literary form, and that while the first half of Glamorama is a shockingly funny and entertaining look at celebrity, the second half is utterly tiresome shock-attempting bullshit.

But these two are making a movie together, and it is going to be, without a shadow of a doubt, the most pretentious piece of cinema ever to be forced upon a terrified public.

Today is the first day of Christmas vacation, and I have a lot of NOTHING to accomplish. I may be inordinately excited about this.
- LV

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