Blog* They prefer to be called, 'adult video artists.' Title is from Dollhouse.Life* Podcasting (is that a verb?) is AWESOME. More on this later.Freakangels Friday* It's a Skip Week, because everyone in the history of awesome is at San Diego Comic-Con, and as I keep saying, if you are awesome and NOT at San Diego Comic-Con, you will cause the world to collapse in on itself, so if I were you I'd get my ass over there. Warren Ellis, I thought you didn't GO to conventions? TeeVee* Here are reviews of two shows I am intensely excited for, and already a big fangirl of: Human Target, starring Jackie Earle Haley as High Priest of Win WITH A MUSTACHE, and Emerson from
. Beyond that, I don't care. Oh, and V, which has got Zoe AND Wash from Firefly. I will watch these shows no matter what. If they make you go blind and DIE - OK, then maybe not. But Jackie Earle Haley and Alan Tudyk would NEVER harm me so. Also, further proof that everything good and wise happens at the San Diego Comic-Con, and nothing good EVER happens in New Jersey, except Bruce Springsteen and Patti Smith, and even SHE was born in Detroit, the end.Journalism* Hold up. Wait a second. WHAT? According to this incredibly snarky and hostile article, bloggers are immoral bastards for pimping for their secret sponsors. Yes, some of them do that, and it's bullshit unless you let people know what you're doing, but aside from that, WHY DO I NOT HAVE A SECRET SPONSOR? I mean, HELLO. Zack Snyder and Warner Bros. should have paid me for all the crazy press I gave
. This is UNFAIR! I AM WILLING TO SELL MY SKILLS AND WARES. I HAVE NO PROBLEM COMPROMISING MY VALUES. I'm broke, I live in my parent's house, times are TOUGH. Where are these corporate sponsors?! It's because I post filthy entries, isn't it?Wow* I just... OK:[Found at FrigginRandom]I... I have no idea how to respond to this.... the cereal. It's judging me. It's screaming for help! Oh god, someone get me some foie gras. At least that doesn't STARE at me while I chow down.Geek Want* I wanted the cigarette mug:[Found at LikeCool]Until I realized that cigarette ash is not a delicious addition to coffee. So moving on.Politics* All hail the High Nerd President:I forgive him all the political failings. Also I appreciate him not hurling on other political figures. * George W. Bush grew a pair in the last weeks of the presidency, and told Dick Cheney where to stuff it. Dick Cheney responded by jumping out from behind figures and yelling at Bush for not pardoning his BFF Scooter Libby. And Bush just sighed and kept his head down and got the hell out of dodge, and now when he sees Dick screaming on TV about how the terrorists hate Obama, he chuckles and thanks any god that's listening that he no longer has that living corpse to cart around with its own personal storm-cloud of crap.* Brave, brave, brave Mark Sandford. When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled. And by danger, of course I mean a scandalous but ultimately boring affair. Mark Sandford has only shown up for work 15 of the last 25 working days. That is... problematic, to say the least. South Carolina needs an official who's actually, you know, THERE, and on the same continent, and working to help the people who live there. I'm just saying. At least most politicians PRETEND to give a shit about their states. In public. Awesome* No, I do not have a coffee addiction, just a deep profound love and understanding DON'T TOUCH IT. Anyway, reader and finder of coolness WingsofPhantasy9 found this wonderful/depressing list of stuff kids will not remember someday, because they are stupid and awful. OK, that last bit may be my own bitter interpretation, but kids today! Pull up your pants! Here are my favorites, and the ones that I remember the best from Ye Olden Times (I'm 23)Inserting a VHS tape into a VCR to watch a movie or to record something. Man, I miss VHS so badly. I still have my old recordings of George Carlin specials. And when I worked at the video store, we played SOCCER with the VHS. You can't do that with DVDs. Believe me. We tried.Playing music on an audio tape using a personal stereo. Vinyl records. Even today’s DJs are going laptop or CD. I still have my vinyls of Bruce Springsteen and INXS. Laserdisc: the LP of DVD.Scanning the radio dial and hearing static between stations. Or better yet, hearing a snip of one of your favorite songs through the static and turning the volume as high as it would go, in a desperate attempt to hear said song.3-D movies meaning red-and-green glasses.Watching TV when the networks say you should. Tivo and Sky+ are slowing killing this one.That there was a time before ‘reality TV.’ And the idea made people laugh.The scream of a modem connecting. And the soul-crushing moment when the connection was dropped.5- and 3-inch floppies, Zip Discs and countless other forms of data storage. I LIKED floppies. They were hard to break.DOS. What HAPPENED to DOS?Blowing the dust out of a NES cartridge in the hopes that it’ll load this time. I still try this with more modern games, only I blow into the console itself. My little brother thinks I'm insane. I miss NES>Joysticks. DUCK HUNTER.Finding out information from an encyclopedia.Using a road atlas to get from A to B. Although in my case I still ended up hopelessly lost.Doing bank business only when the bank is open.Shopping only during the day, Monday to Saturday.Phone books and Yellow Pages.Newspapers and magazines made from dead trees.Filling out an order form by hand, putting it in an envelope and posting it.Not knowing exactly what all of your friends are doing and thinking at every moment.Carrying on a correspondence with real letters, especially the handwritten kind. I miss letters. And handwriting skills.Gopher searches. Holy crap, I haven't thought of these in YEARS.Privacy. I'm watching you.The fact that words generally don’t have num8er5 in them.Correct spelling of phrases, rather than TLAs.Waiting several minutes (or even hours!) to download something.Typewriters. Fuck that. I use one at work every day, and typewriters will once again rise and reclaim the world! ATTICA. Putting film in your camera: 35mm may have some life still, but what about APS or disk?Sending that film away to be processed.Having physical prints of photographs come back to you.Getting lost. With GPS coming to more and more phones, your location is only a click away. Trust me, I will still manage to get lost. Don't underestimate my powers. Rotary-dial telephones. We have one in my house.Answering machines.Using a stick to point at information on a wallchartPay phones.Phones with actual bells in them.Fax machines.Vacuum cleaners with bags in them. And sometimes the bags would explode.Taking turns picking a radio station, or selecting a tape, for everyone to listen to during a long drive. Talking Heads? What? NO we are NOT playing Chumbawumba again Remembering someone’s phone number. I can't remember the number of anyone from the past five years, but still remember every one of my friends' numbers from middle schoolNot knowing who was calling you on the phone.Actually going down to a Blockbuster store to rent a movie. I still do this sometimes.LEGO just being square blocks of various sizes, with the odd wheel, window or door. And PlayMobile!Waiting for the television-network premiere to watch a movie after its run at the theater. Especially for Free Willy!Neat handwriting. Nope, never had it.Starbuck being a man. And a fictional character.Han shoots first. He does, you ignorant BASTARDS.“Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.” But they’ve already seen episode III, so it’s no big surprise.Kentucky Fried Chicken, as opposed to KFC. And Boston Chicken. I was PISSED at the name change, although the reason new escapes me.Finding books in a card catalog at the library.Swimming pools with diving boards. If you hit your head on the bottom, you drowned or WALKED IT OFF.Hershey bars in silver wrappers. Mmmmmm.Roller skates, as opposed to blades.Spending your entire allowance at the arcade in the mall.A physical dictionary — either for spelling or definitions.When a ‘geek’ and a ‘nerd’ were one and the same.Man, I miss the past. Times were simpler, the snow was whiter, and other stuff, etc.Daily Hot Guy[Ianto Jones from Torchwood. I don't remember how to spell the actors' last name, but I am NOT looking it up again, because last time I did I ACCIDENTALLY read Epic Spoilerz, which I have since forgotten, and I missed last nights' episode of Children of the Earth for a good cause, so I will watch it TONIGHT because I figured out the DVR, finally, AND the final episode, which airs tonight, and all of your giving significant glances about my favorite character are making me very, VERY nervous, although if what I think happens happens, my theory on If I Love A Character Horrible Things Will Happen To Them will pretty much be airtight, and I will make a LIST and CRY. Oh, and according to my tags, the adorable actor here, who looks damn fine in a suit, is Gareth David-Lloyd.]WTF, INTERNET?* Remember when I had this category every day? Good times. I miss them. I also miss Rocko's Modern Life and the original Land Before Time. Anyway, this is a USB camera-headband that's waterproof:[Found at DVICE]The ad is all, 'use it to study nature and go on bike rides!' but don't trust them. This is really to be a complete superfreak perv and videotape people at pools and shit. Why else would it be waterproof, hmm? Look, privacy is a thing of the past. I can find information on almost anyone in a few minutes, and I nearly blew up Skype last night. We need to accept this and stop letting our drunk friends convince us it would be super-funny to post naked pictures of Facebook. And these little cameras will not help. I see anyone swimming around with their head in the water, I'm kicking them. 'I'm sorry, officer, I thought he was videotaping people's unmentionables. I was protecting my lady parts.' Then I will not go to jail, because airtight logic. Although if you and your partner want to use it in the shower, that's fine, I guess. As long as I don't have to know about it, I don't really care. And everyone is a consenting adult, and you stay the HELL out of the community pool with your pervy little video camera.Movie!Win* I didn't see Wolverine: Origins because I was told by several reliable sources that even Hugh Jackman and his Arms of Powerful Lust could not stop the eyescabs of agony that this film caused. But from what I've heard, Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool was pretty much the only part that didn't cause ritual suicide. So I'm filing the Deadpool movie under Movie!Win for the following reasons:- Ryan Reynolds is hot. - Ryan Reynolds was the best part of Blade: Trinity (not JUST the part where he was chained shirtless to the floor. Although that part was pretty great.- Ryan Reynolds is a big enough fan to know that Deadpool often breaks the fourth wall (something I enjoy, because it's post-modern, and I was a liberal arts student), and insist that he does that in the movie. Which could be terrible, I admit. But it's Friday, and I'm feeling generous. Also, lest we forget, Ryan Reynolds is hot:What? You KNOW you would have just Googled it, anyway.Dear Torchwood: Do not kill my soul. I am fragile.- LV
. Beyond that, I don't care. Oh, and V, which has got Zoe AND Wash from Firefly. I will watch these shows no matter what. If they make you go blind and DIE - OK, then maybe not. But Jackie Earle Haley and Alan Tudyk would NEVER harm me so. Also, further proof that everything good and wise happens at the San Diego Comic-Con, and nothing good EVER happens in New Jersey, except Bruce Springsteen and Patti Smith, and even SHE was born in Detroit, the end.Journalism* Hold up. Wait a second. WHAT? According to this incredibly snarky and hostile article, bloggers are immoral bastards for pimping for their secret sponsors. Yes, some of them do that, and it's bullshit unless you let people know what you're doing, but aside from that, WHY DO I NOT HAVE A SECRET SPONSOR? I mean, HELLO. Zack Snyder and Warner Bros. should have paid me for all the crazy press I gave
. This is UNFAIR! I AM WILLING TO SELL MY SKILLS AND WARES. I HAVE NO PROBLEM COMPROMISING MY VALUES. I'm broke, I live in my parent's house, times are TOUGH. Where are these corporate sponsors?! It's because I post filthy entries, isn't it?Wow* I just... OK:[Found at FrigginRandom]I... I have no idea how to respond to this.... the cereal. It's judging me. It's screaming for help! Oh god, someone get me some foie gras. At least that doesn't STARE at me while I chow down.Geek Want* I wanted the cigarette mug:[Found at LikeCool]Until I realized that cigarette ash is not a delicious addition to coffee. So moving on.Politics* All hail the High Nerd President:I forgive him all the political failings. Also I appreciate him not hurling on other political figures. * George W. Bush grew a pair in the last weeks of the presidency, and told Dick Cheney where to stuff it. Dick Cheney responded by jumping out from behind figures and yelling at Bush for not pardoning his BFF Scooter Libby. And Bush just sighed and kept his head down and got the hell out of dodge, and now when he sees Dick screaming on TV about how the terrorists hate Obama, he chuckles and thanks any god that's listening that he no longer has that living corpse to cart around with its own personal storm-cloud of crap.* Brave, brave, brave Mark Sandford. When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled. And by danger, of course I mean a scandalous but ultimately boring affair. Mark Sandford has only shown up for work 15 of the last 25 working days. That is... problematic, to say the least. South Carolina needs an official who's actually, you know, THERE, and on the same continent, and working to help the people who live there. I'm just saying. At least most politicians PRETEND to give a shit about their states. In public. Awesome* No, I do not have a coffee addiction, just a deep profound love and understanding DON'T TOUCH IT. Anyway, reader and finder of coolness WingsofPhantasy9 found this wonderful/depressing list of stuff kids will not remember someday, because they are stupid and awful. OK, that last bit may be my own bitter interpretation, but kids today! Pull up your pants! Here are my favorites, and the ones that I remember the best from Ye Olden Times (I'm 23)Inserting a VHS tape into a VCR to watch a movie or to record something. Man, I miss VHS so badly. I still have my old recordings of George Carlin specials. And when I worked at the video store, we played SOCCER with the VHS. You can't do that with DVDs. Believe me. We tried.Playing music on an audio tape using a personal stereo. Vinyl records. Even today’s DJs are going laptop or CD. I still have my vinyls of Bruce Springsteen and INXS. Laserdisc: the LP of DVD.Scanning the radio dial and hearing static between stations. Or better yet, hearing a snip of one of your favorite songs through the static and turning the volume as high as it would go, in a desperate attempt to hear said song.3-D movies meaning red-and-green glasses.Watching TV when the networks say you should. Tivo and Sky+ are slowing killing this one.That there was a time before ‘reality TV.’ And the idea made people laugh.The scream of a modem connecting. And the soul-crushing moment when the connection was dropped.5- and 3-inch floppies, Zip Discs and countless other forms of data storage. I LIKED floppies. They were hard to break.DOS. What HAPPENED to DOS?Blowing the dust out of a NES cartridge in the hopes that it’ll load this time. I still try this with more modern games, only I blow into the console itself. My little brother thinks I'm insane. I miss NES>Joysticks. DUCK HUNTER.Finding out information from an encyclopedia.Using a road atlas to get from A to B. Although in my case I still ended up hopelessly lost.Doing bank business only when the bank is open.Shopping only during the day, Monday to Saturday.Phone books and Yellow Pages.Newspapers and magazines made from dead trees.Filling out an order form by hand, putting it in an envelope and posting it.Not knowing exactly what all of your friends are doing and thinking at every moment.Carrying on a correspondence with real letters, especially the handwritten kind. I miss letters. And handwriting skills.Gopher searches. Holy crap, I haven't thought of these in YEARS.Privacy. I'm watching you.The fact that words generally don’t have num8er5 in them.Correct spelling of phrases, rather than TLAs.Waiting several minutes (or even hours!) to download something.Typewriters. Fuck that. I use one at work every day, and typewriters will once again rise and reclaim the world! ATTICA. Putting film in your camera: 35mm may have some life still, but what about APS or disk?Sending that film away to be processed.Having physical prints of photographs come back to you.Getting lost. With GPS coming to more and more phones, your location is only a click away. Trust me, I will still manage to get lost. Don't underestimate my powers. Rotary-dial telephones. We have one in my house.Answering machines.Using a stick to point at information on a wallchartPay phones.Phones with actual bells in them.Fax machines.Vacuum cleaners with bags in them. And sometimes the bags would explode.Taking turns picking a radio station, or selecting a tape, for everyone to listen to during a long drive. Talking Heads? What? NO we are NOT playing Chumbawumba again Remembering someone’s phone number. I can't remember the number of anyone from the past five years, but still remember every one of my friends' numbers from middle schoolNot knowing who was calling you on the phone.Actually going down to a Blockbuster store to rent a movie. I still do this sometimes.LEGO just being square blocks of various sizes, with the odd wheel, window or door. And PlayMobile!Waiting for the television-network premiere to watch a movie after its run at the theater. Especially for Free Willy!Neat handwriting. Nope, never had it.Starbuck being a man. And a fictional character.Han shoots first. He does, you ignorant BASTARDS.“Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.” But they’ve already seen episode III, so it’s no big surprise.Kentucky Fried Chicken, as opposed to KFC. And Boston Chicken. I was PISSED at the name change, although the reason new escapes me.Finding books in a card catalog at the library.Swimming pools with diving boards. If you hit your head on the bottom, you drowned or WALKED IT OFF.Hershey bars in silver wrappers. Mmmmmm.Roller skates, as opposed to blades.Spending your entire allowance at the arcade in the mall.A physical dictionary — either for spelling or definitions.When a ‘geek’ and a ‘nerd’ were one and the same.Man, I miss the past. Times were simpler, the snow was whiter, and other stuff, etc.Daily Hot Guy[Ianto Jones from Torchwood. I don't remember how to spell the actors' last name, but I am NOT looking it up again, because last time I did I ACCIDENTALLY read Epic Spoilerz, which I have since forgotten, and I missed last nights' episode of Children of the Earth for a good cause, so I will watch it TONIGHT because I figured out the DVR, finally, AND the final episode, which airs tonight, and all of your giving significant glances about my favorite character are making me very, VERY nervous, although if what I think happens happens, my theory on If I Love A Character Horrible Things Will Happen To Them will pretty much be airtight, and I will make a LIST and CRY. Oh, and according to my tags, the adorable actor here, who looks damn fine in a suit, is Gareth David-Lloyd.]WTF, INTERNET?* Remember when I had this category every day? Good times. I miss them. I also miss Rocko's Modern Life and the original Land Before Time. Anyway, this is a USB camera-headband that's waterproof:[Found at DVICE]The ad is all, 'use it to study nature and go on bike rides!' but don't trust them. This is really to be a complete superfreak perv and videotape people at pools and shit. Why else would it be waterproof, hmm? Look, privacy is a thing of the past. I can find information on almost anyone in a few minutes, and I nearly blew up Skype last night. We need to accept this and stop letting our drunk friends convince us it would be super-funny to post naked pictures of Facebook. And these little cameras will not help. I see anyone swimming around with their head in the water, I'm kicking them. 'I'm sorry, officer, I thought he was videotaping people's unmentionables. I was protecting my lady parts.' Then I will not go to jail, because airtight logic. Although if you and your partner want to use it in the shower, that's fine, I guess. As long as I don't have to know about it, I don't really care. And everyone is a consenting adult, and you stay the HELL out of the community pool with your pervy little video camera.Movie!Win* I didn't see Wolverine: Origins because I was told by several reliable sources that even Hugh Jackman and his Arms of Powerful Lust could not stop the eyescabs of agony that this film caused. But from what I've heard, Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool was pretty much the only part that didn't cause ritual suicide. So I'm filing the Deadpool movie under Movie!Win for the following reasons:- Ryan Reynolds is hot. - Ryan Reynolds was the best part of Blade: Trinity (not JUST the part where he was chained shirtless to the floor. Although that part was pretty great.- Ryan Reynolds is a big enough fan to know that Deadpool often breaks the fourth wall (something I enjoy, because it's post-modern, and I was a liberal arts student), and insist that he does that in the movie. Which could be terrible, I admit. But it's Friday, and I'm feeling generous. Also, lest we forget, Ryan Reynolds is hot:What? You KNOW you would have just Googled it, anyway.Dear Torchwood: Do not kill my soul. I am fragile.- LV
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