Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Cyb-arachno-rama? Spider Robots? Do Spiders Have Robots?

Blog
* Holy SHIT I hope not. Title is from Invader Zim.

* Erin drew this. I scripted it as a joke. She made it amazing. When Olive Snook met Rorschach:

I think this should be a TV series. Someone call FOX.

World Peace Through Jackie Earle Haley
* Go to World Peace Through Jackie Earle Haley. Listen to the podcast. Be awed by the supreme AMAZING of it all. The girls who do this podcast are hotter than Jesus, tougher than beef jerky, and smarter than advanced biology. And it's all thanks to Jackie Earle Haley.

Geek Want
* I've shown you business cards made with lasers, business cards made of meat, and business cards cried from the tears of unicorns. But none of them compare to this:

[Found at DVICE]
You have an NES controller business card? Really? Why yes, I'll give you all my money, Mr. Shady Immoral-Pants. Because no one who owns such a card could do anything remotely evil. This card is a force of pure good. And I need it. THIS is why I have no money! At last! It all makes sense now!

Awesome
* I watched this GIF over and over and over:

[Made by Luna-Wolfdemon]
Look at his wiggly hips! He is all wiggly, and he maybe kills people, in his head, or not!
The movie was better than the book. I will say this.

WTF, INTERNET?
* This may be partly because I'm especially annoyed by the idiocy on the internet this morning, or because I don't really like Star Wars:

[Found at BoingBoing]
But I don't think so. This is the ugliest fucking Jabba the Hutt costume I have ever seen in my entire life. It makes me want to scream in terror and disgust. The exposed human hands don't help the illusion at all. And it costs $70.00, probably because it has a built-in fan to keep you from dying from heat stroke while dressed as a fucking moron.
I want to know how you walk in this costume. Then I want to pay the neighborhood kids to jump on your tail, knocking you down, and you will roll around on the ground like a giant slug while they laugh and scamper away.
And then, as if I wasn't annoyed ENOUGH by the idea of spending all that money on an ugly, stupid plastic costume that makes you look like a giant turd with a face, Cory Doctorow had to go and make it about sex, and I feel unclean for ALWAYS.

Movie!Win
* David Cronenberg, who I love, is adapting Don DeLillo, who I also love. There is nothing negative about this, AT ALL. Oh, it's Cosmopolis. That's the book he's adapting. I kind of had hoped it would be White Noise, if only to cause 99% of the people I went to college with to burst into liberal art tears. OK, I might cry too, just out of moral obligation.
Now I want to reread Underworld and Falling Man. Those are some damn good books. And rewatch eXistenZ, which I loved and is in my opinion one of Cronenberg's most underrated films. And it has Christopher Eccleston. AND WIllem Dafoe.

Daily Hot Guy

[Alexander Skarsgard, AKA Eric Northman in True Blood, who was NOT in the season finale of True Blood nearly enough, although while he was onscreen he played Yahtzee and was vampire-humped by the Queen of Vampires. Frankly I'm sort of hoping he kills Bill, absconds with Sookie and Sam, and the show becomes like Big Love only with vampires and pron and no Bill Paxton nudity and more guys than girls, and Lafayette will be Eric's one true love, and Hoyt and Jessica will make up, and Terry will be happy, the end.]

Wow
* This is the weirdest egg-related video I have ever seen in the history of the universe. I am so fascinated by it. A BIG EGG. HOLY SHIT.

I wasn't being sarcastic. This video fascinates me. Although I keep pretending the guy with the eggs is Alpha Wash, which I admit is strange, but HOW FUNNY would that have been?

Animals
* My friend sent me this picture. I screamed.

She's in Australia now, where people who send their friends stuff like this go.

Girly Shit
* I think I need a category called, WTF, FASHION? Because shit like this is NOT OK:

[Found at Fashionologie]
I am not wearing that. Ever. If the options are wearing that or a fucking onesie, I'll go with the onesie, and you KNOW how I feel about those. That is how stupid this is.
And WHY is the model wearing a head cover that makes her resemble the mannequins from the Ninth Doctor's first episode of Doctor Who? Remember that? That was a damn good episode.

[Found at Fashionologie]
Yeah, I'm not wearing that either. I am neither a pimp nor a rock star. I COULD BE, though. You don't know what my schedule is like.

Music
* song chart memes
see more Funny Graphs

Technology
* When I lived in a high rise in the financial district of New York City, I lived up on the 18th floor. With a crazy person, but that's another story, and one for which I need a lot of booze.
Anyway, that year was probably one of the most awful, insane years of my life, what with graduating college, living with a mad roommate, and finding a service that would deliver alcohol to my door.
Because my roommate hated the smell of cigarette smoke (even though she KNEW I was a smoker when we agreed to room together - sorry, another story) I would have to lean halfway out the window of our apartment, my upper body balanced on the ledge as I smoked a cigarette. There was a very tiny ledge outside my building, but since I fall down when I'm standing still, I was not about to head out there and risk plummeting to my death just because of a nicotine addiction.
During one of these cigarette balancing acts, I happened to glance over at another window. My neighbor, a man I had never met, was standing out on the ledge (it was about 18 inches wide). He was barbecuing. In his bathrobe. It was starting to snow. He waved at me. I waved back.
I never met my barbecuing neighbor, but I think of him whenever I catch the scent of hot dogs. And if I could find out who he was and where he lived, I'd send him this:

[Found at DVICE]
It's a compact barbecue for the urban dweller. Take it, Ledge Cooker, and be happy.

OK, off for now.
- LV

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