Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Mexican Werewolves Are Coming Up From Mexico & Selling Crack.

Blog
* Not WEREWOLVES! Title is from Reno 911!.

World Peace Through Jackie Earle Haley
* Episode seven is up, and it is AMAZERING. We discuss the Voice Mail Of Win (from Mr. Haley himself), The Scream Awards (have you voted yet? Really? I can tell if you're lying), Twilight fans, how Watchmen fans need to represent, extended sex scenes (haha, extend), Dr. Manhattan's awful pauses, and Jackie Earle Haley's epic perfomance.
Good people listen to this podcast. Decent people. Attractive people. Implying nothing.

And if you haven't, for some mysterious and unfathomable reason, voted for Jackie Earle Haley and Watchmen at the Scream awards, go here and do it now.

Geek Want
* I'm still relieved that they got the REAL voice actors back for Futurama, because no one else is allowed to play Fry but Billy West. It's in the Bible, TRUTH. And I want to reenact the entire series with these:

[Found at io9]
Look at the cute little Zapp Branigan! But lock him up at night. That doll is a PERVERT. I just want a tiny Bender. Is that too much to ask?

Awesome
* Whatever shreds of sanity I was clinging to are now gone, forever, burned up in a fiery inferno of cow crazy. I hope madness is pleasant. Danceswithelvis found this, and showed it to me. She is an agent of CHAOS.

WTF, INTERNET?
* THE RETURN OF THE TOILET TO FEAR AND LOATHING:

[Found at DVICE]
I know you missed it. This toilet turns into a urinal! And then it self-cleans, with ultraviolet light and steam. Now, my cell phone is held together with tape, and needs to be smacked against a solid object before it accepts calls.

My issue is that think of the hundreds of thousands of dollars of technology we waste on these things. It's a toilet. It should not be more high-tech than my iPod. Seriously.

And I know toilet!rage is apparently a staple of my blog, but really, DO WE NEED THIS? People are starving and selling organs that they NEED, and scientists, who are supposed to make the world a better place, are showing up and going, 'Look! You don't need to clean this toi-urinal-let!' But no one cares, because we're all DEAD.

Some of my anger may be misdirected. But it's a goddamn toilet. Waste of technology FAIL. I refuse to get excited about a toilet. I have standards, dammit.

All that aside, I may have laughed heartily at the little mannequin, and I do not know why.

Daily Hot Guy

[Alan Rickman as Professor Severus Snape in the newest Harry Potter movie. I am convinced they are going to fuck up the movie version of book seven, which if you are a Snape fan is the most critical book, in no small part because Alan Rickman is getting on in years, despite his lusty baritone, black hair, and sneer of contempt, and will not be spry enough to run around like Snap is expected to. I mean, Snape is 38 in the last book. Alan Rickman is 64 NOW. DOES ANYONE ELSE SEE AN ISSUE HERE? Um. Wrong category. Snape is hotter in the books. But Mr. Rickman is indisputably one of the sexiest geriatrics.]

Journalism
* This is a really interesting article on pop culture, or what some would call monoculture. Just because it has changed forms in no way implies that the beast is dead. And you should all read Transmetropolitan, at LEAST the section on monoculture, because it essentially states that this is what we chose. After all, if we weren't all choosing it, it wouldn't be mainstream, would it? No, it would not. That is so depressing. BUT it doesn't discuss the happy medium, which is more realistic: people who like some mainstream stuff, but also some obscure things. And what qualifies as mainstream. I've only heard one Jonas Brothers song, ever, and couldn't tell you about them. But I love Lady Gaga. But I really dig Billy Talent right now. But what's popular here may be obscure elsewhere, and vice versa...
My point? Chill the fuck out. Like what you like. you should look for unique things because they're fun and interesting, but someone else undoubtably already is a huge fan. It's not a contest, not a pissing match over who's the edgiest or most mainstream. Pop culture - mainstream and otherwise - is supposed to be fun.
Which is why I still like Michael Jackson:


AND why I enjoy making T-shirts for movies, because they don't make T-shirts for certain movies that aren't Twilight:

Even though it's a major studio release movie.... but I MADE the shirt....
This may have all been an elaborate scheme to post pictures of my new jacket.
And let me be clear: I don't hate Twilight because everyone else likes it (hello, I like the Beatles), I hate Twilight because it sucks.

Apocalypse How?
* This category has become very plant-focused. I no longer trust weeds, and run screaming at the first sight of grass. This is problematic, since I live in the suburbs. Anyway, in Detroit, plants are reclaiming abandoned houses:

[Found at Neatorama]
Yes, it's terribly pretty, but it used to be someone's home, and now it's a pile of green shit. That's scary and sad, and awful. And pretty soon all our houses could look all mossy and empty, as Mother Earth essentially says, 'Fuck this shit,' and puts us all up for adoption.

Movie!Win
* Look, it's got Crispin Glover, Alan Rickman, Johnny Depp, Stephen Fry, and Helena Bonham Carter, and it's directed by the man who did Ed Wood. Of COURSE I'm going to continue to be excited about Alice in Wonderland:

Although I'm not sure I can handle 3-D. I mean, Helena Bonham Carter screaming in 3-D? With THAT head? Child therapy bills will skyrocket. It's going to be GREAT.

Right, to work. I know it's Tuesday, but it feels like Monday, but ultimately, I just want to curl up and go back to sleep. I had the BEST dream about Gareth David-Lloyd trying to sell me a beautiful pair of tan gloves. No, I don't want to know what it means, thanks.
- LV

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