Wednesday, September 2, 2009

The Eyes Are The Groin Of The Head.

Blog
* Then what the hell is the mouth? Title is from The Office.

World Peace Through Jackie Earle Haley
* New Podcast is up, people, and we tried to sit through the remake of Bad News Bears, and it was worse than I expected, and the PAIN was almost too much to bear. We watched it so you don't have to, because that's the kind of girls we are. Also, remember that Contest I told you about? Where the winner gets read on the podcast, and wins a T-Shirt made by me and fanart/icons from Caro? It's still open, and if you don't enter, they will let Uwe Boll direct the next Star Trek, and the world will collapse. Also, Jackie Earle Haley will be displeased. Nobody wants that. EVER.


People I Love
* William Shatner is like a god. A ridiculous, mischievous god who was a terrible actor, then made a career out of being terrible, then suddenly became sort of wonderful on Boston Public. Anyway, his singing is legendary, although not necessarily a good legend. But this is. This is William Shatner reading former Alaskan governor Sarah Palin's Tweets. The heavens open up, and the angels sing in ecstasy:

This is why Conan needs to stay on TV.

Stuff To Live
* This clock has so much that makes me want it:

[Found at LikeCool]
First, I can hang it anywhere. Second, it changes from black to white depending on the light (so I would spend hours flicking the light switch on and off. Lastly, I love clocks, because they are in like five of my fandoms (OK, two, shut up), and I've been on a Heroes kick this week, since I'm basically unable to leave until my house-sitting is complete. Plus, black and white? Yeah, that other fandom. What? A girl can like clocks.

Movie!Fail
* Look, I liked Bad Boys. It was before Will Smith decided he was the Greatest Thing Ever In The History of Man, and it had explosions, and the sequel had some of the best action sequences I've seen in a while, and both movies helped to facilitate the existence of Hot Fuzz, and they could exist for that alone.
But we do not need a third one.
But in all honesty, I will probably see it, in disguise, my cheeks burning with shame. I love these movies the same way I love most stupid action movies. So terrible, they become terribly awesome.
This is not so much Movie!Fail as MY fail, because I should rise above such films and only see Serious Cinema, like Schindler's List. But did Schindler's List have car explosions? No, it did not. TRUFAX. Read the article, because the checklist of what Bad Boys III needs is hilarious, and sadly true.

Jackie Earle Haley
* Did you enter the podcast contest? DID YOU? Because Jackie wants you to. Click. It's easy, it's fun, it involves Rorschach, and you GET STUFF.

Look at that BAGQMF. Now I want THOSE sunglasses, too. But not as much as I want the blue ones. Those are the sunglasses of my SOUL. I don't have to know what it means, OK? Mr. Haley is so awesome he defies logic.

* SPIKE did a list of the best comic book movie casting, and Mr. Haley came in at number eight with his performance as Rorschach in Watchmen.

Now, I will not argue with putting Ron Perlman and Robert Downey, Jr. ahead of him (I COULD, don't get me wrong, but they're all so frigging talented, and I love them, and their movies, that all three being on the damn list is enough to satisfy me). And I thought Gary Oldman was sickeningly good in The Dark Knight, among a cast of giants. But Patrick Stewart as Professor Xavier is number 1? No. This could be due to that Extras clip, but no. Also, no to Catwoman. Michelle Pfeiffer was great, but A) she's the only girl on the list, which bugs me, and B) she should not be ahead of Jackie Earle Haley. AT ALL. Although maybe I should just be grateful Jessica Alba isn't on the list, and shut my mouth.

Daily Hot Guy

[Sendhil Ramamurthy, AKA Mohinder from Heroes, who has gone from being one of my favorite characters to one that I keep saying, 'Shut up and stand there and look pretty.' He's no Sylar, but he's almost insanely attractive, to the point where if I met him I'd poke his arm to confirm that he's real. Also, his hair is great. And his accent is hot. Season 3 of Heroes is much better than Season 2, and Sylar is in a suit and has a Boston accent, and Mohinder is hopping around shirtless. Plot? Wait, Heroes has a PLOT? I kid, I kid.]

TeeVee
* FINALLY, they've announced V will come out on November 3 (what day of the week is that? and don't I have ENOUGH TV to watch? My DVR already hates me), and Human Target is getting good early notices, and everyone is excited about it, as they should be, and also Glee. Oh, and they talk about other shows, including Lost, which I had to give up on, because really, I give myself enough stress without spending my evenings frantically rereading philosophy books and searching for an answer to the island mystery. Also, favorite character is dead. Also, the show makes no sense.

Geek Want
* As I've said before, Star Wars is probably the only fandom I haven't flirted with (OK, that's a huge lie, but it's one of the major ones that never caught my interest) so naturally it's my little brother's favorite thing ever, and he made me go see the animated movie in theaters, which was like being tortured by tiny, badly drawn lunatics for two hours.
Even with all that, I think this is pretty damn cute:

[Found at BoingBoing]
Even though, isn't Jabba the Hut like gross and pervy? And not snuggly? All I remember is him licking Leia when she was in that metal bathing suit, and being really grossed out.

Awesome

DancesWithElvis sent me this. I don't know what I did to her, but it must have been terrible.

WTF, INTERNET?
* I have no problem with the people who are selling Ghosts in Bottles. There is no law against selling insane shit, and that is your right, and this is America, after all, and if you want to sell bottles claiming they are haunted, you go right ahead.
No. My issue is with the people who buy these things.
WHAT is going on in your mind, in your life, that you are going to spend money on this? Look at it:

[Found at Geekologie]
Religious implications of trapping souls in bottles aside, WHAT? Why would you do this? It's not like it's the ghost of someone you know, which would be sick but at least I could understand that ('I'll show you, Mom! Look how messy my room is! And you can't nag me, because you're DEAD! AND I'm watch R-rated movies! HAHA!'). You'd still be crazy, but understandably so.
But why would you want the soul of a strange dead person in a bottle, in your house?
And a certificate? Guys, I make those at work all the time. We have a seal-maker. It's fun. But I could make Ghost Hunter bullshit too, if I was so inclined. I DON'T, because I'm not crazy.
Lastly, I don't know if ghosts are real. But if they are so stupid and pathetic that they can get STUCK in bottles and trapped by idiots with seal-makers, this does not bode well for the after-life.
PS This is what we like to call a scam. Also, it's not real. Send me your twenty bucks. At least I'm honest.

Have to go get ready. So many projects/assignments/etc, plus a regular job, plus today is the Best Day Ever, for reasons I will not divulge just yet. I will celebrate by getting sushi for dinner, so SUCK IT, and also finally making and modeling some of my shirts, because I'm happy, and would like to share the happy with the universe.
Not like that. Perverts.
- LV

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