It's Not A Hiatus, I'm Just Freaking Lazy

Reports of my death have been greatly... well, there haven't been any reports of my death, but if there HAD been, they would have been exaggerated. I've just been super busy. Behold, the list below will explain my mysterious absence from the interweb.* I spent the weekend in New York with friends, which was great until we ran into the only two guys in the CITY who were also from my freakishly small town. Which was awkward, and pretty funny to everyone but me. * I had to watch the Golden Globes, and sulk, because there was almost nothing for me to be shouty about (and Mickey Rourke's acceptance speech had me in stitches, in part because anyone who uses the word 'balls' not once but TWICE in front of the Hollywood Foreign Press is kind of like Jesus, and also because it seems that he and Bruce Springsteen are in the thrall of a deep and powerful Bromance that us mere mortals cannot comprehend) except that Hugh Laurie didn't win anything, but that always makes me shouty because he should win everything. And James Franco wasn't there, which was sad for me. And Tom "I'm Not Gay And I Love My Wife And Daughter And Those Other Two Kids And Hail Xenu But Take Your Medicine Unless It Involves Your Brain And Perchance Do You Have A Couch That Needs Tenderizing?" Cruise didn't even get a chance to be fabulously douchey. What a waste.* I've been working on the Great Secret Project That Will Hopefully Give Me Money So I Can Move Out And Live My Life And Be Free Of The Shame And Stigma Of My Parent's Basement. It's almost ready to be unveiled, and I will tell you all about it the moment it has been completed. * I've apparently become a great fan of capitalization.* I've been trying to write a review of the ARC I was given that isn't me essentially going, "HOW DID THIS BOOK GET PUBLISHED?!" punctuated by lots of crying and drinking.* There was a brief period where I had to be restrained, because I got my paycheck and was hellbent on finding the magical Emporium Of Clothes And Books And Makeup And Comics And Puppies And Shoes And David Tennants, which does exist. Don't listen to the naysayers. * I've been reading the greatest webcomic ever (actually, my Aunt and Uncle sent me the two collections for my birthday, so I read those, then stalked the internet until I found more, which I have been rereading with an intensity I should probably devote to more rational pursuits). I love Nemi. I want to be her (except for the pescetarian thing, which is so bullshit - what, fish don't have feelings too? Speciesist.) or be her witty and amusing sidekick. Which is bad, because I start plotting running away to England and dyeing my hair fantastic colors, and I may have been making a wishlist on Hot Topic, mecca of my angsty youth days, and on one hand I know I'm too old for this shit, but on the other hand I'm only twenty-three and this stuff is AWESOME and I didn't get to enjoy any of it when I was a kid, and if I want to wear all black and have red hair and get more tattoos and start going to punk shows again and drinking too much, WHAT OF IT?! YOU CAN'T STOP THE REVOLUTION, MAN!* I think the single funniest thing on the internet right now is Bono's op-ed piece for the New York Times. It's sort of like peeking into his soul, which is apparently inhabited by alcohol, Frank Sinatra, and a pretentious little gnome who paints landscapes.* I think Ron Blagojevich really believes that this pesky impeachment thing is keeping him from healing the sick WITH HIS BARE HANDS.* I've been studying for the LSATS. They are scary as SHIT.* I'm FINALLY getting season four of Doctor Who today, after MONTHS of battling with Netflix. They've been forgiven, but they are still on my watch list. Don't fuck up again.* I've been reading more review books, which are starting to slowly pile up and may one day crush me, thus shuffling me off this mortal coil in a dramatic but ultimately pathetic manner.* I've been extremely shouty over the fact that Frost/Nixon is not playing ANYWHERE near me, and I want to see this movie. Badly. * I'm sad that Monk will be ending after one more season. Tony Shalhoub, WHY?!* I've been scouring the web, trying to find a site that will sell me English snacks like Jelly Babies. So far, NO LUCK.* I've been looking at law schools. Also trying to figure out if I can be the Official White House Dogwalker, for which you probably need a law degree and a few letters of recommendation. Life is BUSY. But I will be posting a lot now, because I've remembered how wonderful it is, and also I want to get my numbers back up. So tell your friends, your enemies, and anyone else with internet access. The world will be a better place.- LV

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