Thursday, January 29, 2009

And Then I Got Hit By A Bus And Became A Leper!

The following is a list of reasons I haven't been online for a week - not even to answer E-Mails:

* The heat went away in my house. I live in New Jersey. It has been cold as shit. It has been SNOWING outside, and I have been able to see my breath INSIDE and the WATER was even cold and at one point I had on five sweatshirts and six pairs of sweatpants, and basically moved about by rolling down hallways.

* The internet has been blinking on and off. My mother claims the internet has been fine, even though it has been spotty for me and my father, the other two internet users. But my mother lives on a different technological plane of existence than the rest of us, and would most likely insist the internet was working fine even if there had never even BEEN an internet. Either that, or she has secret Ninja Mommy Wireless, and won't share.

* My grandparents were here for the weekend, and taught me to make homemade pasta AND pot roast, so I was busy eating and being lectured on the evils of the new administration, but luckily my mouth was full so I couldn't fight back.

* I seriously sprained my ankle fighting off a dalek who had cornered the Doctor, and in my eagerness to save the sexy Time Lord, I fell down hard and popped something in my ankle, making me hobble around like a much shorter female House, only not as smart or cranky, and without a cane and a secret British accent. Or I fell down in my garage for no good reason, and would much rather live in a fantasy world where I fell down for a GOOD REASON.

* I've been substituting constantly, and that includes making a kindergartner cry, arguing that Obama is NOT going to kill all the penguins in the world, and trying desperately to remember geometry.

I'll update later. And catch up on all the E-Mails and such. Right now I have to limp off to work.

0 comments:

Post a Comment