Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Day 27 Of Unemployment: OK, Now I'm Bored

* Work yesterday was boring. I set up a MySpace for the company, and looked for high schools with theater programs. New York schools suck, generally. I mean, I always knew, but it never really struck me. I never fully comprehended. Blame it on growing up spoiled and sheltered in the suburbs. It made me sad. Oh, and I found the way to work by Googling the company. I'm a genius. Or something.

* I like how 'google' is a verb. And TiVo. New verbs are awesome. Rather than saying, "I looked it up online," I get to shorten the whole sentence to, "I Googled it." Capitalization is optional. Pretty soon the whole of the English language will be reduced to simply yelling, "Google!' in different tones of voice.

* I may have work tomorrow. I don't know. I don't know anything. ElleVee lacks information.

* More former roommate drama. It's stopped being funny, and has now become completely irritating. She demands my presence for the final walk-through of the apartment, even though SHE has the keys, and I have other things to do. OK, so my life isn't full if important events at this moment, but still. Flossing would be more important. We were supposed to go today, actually, but she never called me. She's probably still asleep. And I sleep late - I woke up near noon today - but she makes me look like a sprightly early morning... sprite. The creature, not the drink. She usually wakes up around five or six in the evening, if she doesn't have work. I just want it to be done. I want to end this and move on with my life.

* Got my Netflix today! Huzzah! Jeeves & Wooster, and the rest of season one of Dexter. Joy in my veins. Much joy.

* My family is coming to visit this weekend. My dad will finally be seeing the apartment he's essentially paying for. This will be interesting. Things have been a bit tense these past few weeks, for a plethora of reasons I don't feel like going into at this moment. I love the word 'plethora.' So this weekend will be either a happy, joyful reunion wherein we all hug and cry, or it will be tense and excessively polite and I will end up twitching like a cat on crack.

* They say the commercials between shows target the intended audience of said show. So, since I've been watching courtroom drama all day - Judge Joe Mathis and Judge Maria Lopez - I must assume that the intended audience eats a fuckload of IHop, has no car insurance, sues over injuries that were caused by their own idiocy, did not graduate from high school, and need to lose a lot of weight. Channel 11 does not have a lot of respect for its viewers. And where does that leave me?
- I haven't eaten at an IHop since high school.
- I don't have a car anymore.
- If I sued every time I fell down, I'd spend my entire fucking life in court. I fall down constantly. Sometimes when I'm not even moving.
- I did not graduate from high school. I did, however, graduate from college, so I guess it evens out.
- Of course I need to lose weight. Statistically speaking, everyone needs to lose weight. We're all AWFUL! IHop, anyone?

So two out of five. Not bad, Channel 11, not bad.

* My roommate called. She's sick, apparently. So, once again, I need to do every fucking thing just to settle the apartment. If you guys see me on the TV wanted for murder, please inform the proper authorities that I was doing a service to humanity. No, I won't really kill her (in case you were rushing to the phone). I just want her to go far, far away, and stop bothering me. Is that so much to ask? IS IT?!

* Watching an ad for Christian rock - the concerts look like the most fucking boring shit I have ever seen. Otherwise, if you changed a few words in the lyrics, these bands could be singing about the girl of their dreams.

* I need to clean. Cleaning makes life better. And keeps the roaches away. I haven't seen one in days. They're plotting my demise. The reckoning shall come.

May your roommates be sane, your family be well-adjusted, and your stress be non-existent.
- LV

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