I just spent 7 1/2 hours in corporate orientation; I am exhausted, in that way you can only get when you've spent a long time being incredibly bored.
Here's what I learned:
* Shoplifting is bad and wrong. Because the company suffers. And the company is GOD. Prostrate yourself before the company.
* Customer service is imporant. Be the customer's friend. Debase yourself if necessary. Cuddle them. It's all about the sale.
* It's really all about the membership. If you do not convince a person to sign up for a membership, you are a hollow shell of the human condition.
* Smile like you're about to rip out the customer's jugular. It puts them at ease.
* No matter what your personal opinion on a subject, you have to help the customer to the full extent of your abilities. So I have to be polite when some shit-licker asks for an Ann Coulter book. I should probably say 'poop sampler.'
Everyone was really nice, to be honest. But everything was so ridiculous and stupid. I worked for four years in retail; I know how to work a cash register. Especially when the buttons are fucking LABELLED.
Anyway. I got paid for today, so that's OK. And I work tomorrow. My first real shift. Should be... interesting. My boss is hot.
David Cross is really funny. He is the man I should marry, realistically. A dorky, angry, smart dude.
Extras is a brilliantly funny show. But it is sometimes physically uncomfortable to watch. There were times when I had my eyes covered, and was saying, "Please shut up, just shut up, please stop." But every second is worth the pain. The glorious pain. Patrick Stewart was my favorite so far. I just got season two from Netflix.
I'm in a conscious coma. It's awesome.
- LV
Here's what I learned:
* Shoplifting is bad and wrong. Because the company suffers. And the company is GOD. Prostrate yourself before the company.
* Customer service is imporant. Be the customer's friend. Debase yourself if necessary. Cuddle them. It's all about the sale.
* It's really all about the membership. If you do not convince a person to sign up for a membership, you are a hollow shell of the human condition.
* Smile like you're about to rip out the customer's jugular. It puts them at ease.
* No matter what your personal opinion on a subject, you have to help the customer to the full extent of your abilities. So I have to be polite when some shit-licker asks for an Ann Coulter book. I should probably say 'poop sampler.'
Everyone was really nice, to be honest. But everything was so ridiculous and stupid. I worked for four years in retail; I know how to work a cash register. Especially when the buttons are fucking LABELLED.
Anyway. I got paid for today, so that's OK. And I work tomorrow. My first real shift. Should be... interesting. My boss is hot.
David Cross is really funny. He is the man I should marry, realistically. A dorky, angry, smart dude.
Extras is a brilliantly funny show. But it is sometimes physically uncomfortable to watch. There were times when I had my eyes covered, and was saying, "Please shut up, just shut up, please stop." But every second is worth the pain. The glorious pain. Patrick Stewart was my favorite so far. I just got season two from Netflix.
I'm in a conscious coma. It's awesome.
- LV
0 comments:
Post a Comment