* Hamsters smell, Simon. She thought you were repulsive. Title is from Firefly.
* Theresa is back, and Deadpool is back! This is good, as it is Monday, and we all need more Deadpool, and anyway I may have repetitive stress something or other from rolling skeins of yarn yesterday.
* Erin drew this in honor of our Halloween of Win:
Rain cannot defeat the Yip Yip aliens. Nothing can. FOOLS.
* Miss Banshee does not kill cats. That is a vicious lie. I support her, and offer my advice on beta fish so that she does not get accused of this cruelty again.
WTF, INTERNET? * LOOK, it is MONDAY, and my rats tried to kill each other last night, and I was up late MacGuyver-ing a new cage, and my hand hurts, and THIS IS THE SCARIEST THING EVER:
[Found at Nerd Approved]
I will try to explain this calmly. This is a stress ball. When you squeeze it to reduce stress, it laughs. THIS IS THE PENNYWISE OF STRESS BALLS. AND LOOK AT HIS HAIR. IT'S FUCKING RIDICULOUS. AND HIS TINY TONGUE. AND HE LAUGHS, making you MORE stressed, MOCKING your stress, and then you snap like a fragile twig, and the next thing you know you're running naked through the office laughing like the stress ball.
I'm going to buy these for people I dislike.
Music * Mayor Bloomberg of New York City likes Lady Gaga. This is sort of very amusing to me. Maybe Lady Gaga can write a city anthem. It would have pretty young men writhing in the background, and a seriously great beat, and she'd wear no pants. I support this.
I'm a Microsoft Painter. And my stick figures are worse than that. My stick figures are banned in several countries as potential war crimes.
Comics * Here are five comics you aren't reading, but should be. And Locke and Key by Joe Hill is on there OHSNAP I TOLD YOU IT WAS GOOD. I feel so vindicated. Because it IS that good, and if you're smart you'll listen to me on all matters. Now send me your money.
* Another episode of V will be on tomorrow, and hopefully Alan 'Alpha Wash' Tudyk will destroy everyone, and Morena Baccarin will give me makeup tips, and Scott Wolf will reenact the scene from Go where he freaks out over the veggie burgers. Um, if you missed the pilot, read this.
Blog * Seth Gecko: Life Coach. Title is from From Dusk 'Till Dawn, which is still one of my favorite movies, and you should all watch it because STRIPPER VAMPIRES and SEXY QUENTIN TARANTINO.
Fandom * Star Wars fans are weird: [Found at Topless Robot] This may be the ultimate fandom cake, but it's also the weirdest one I've seen EVER. I'm a member of MULTIPLE fandoms, and I have to say, I've never been inspired to eat the organs of any of the characters.
Also, is that a tiny Luke Skywalker jammed in there? Do not want. You can eat that. Really. I'm not hungry.
Sequel!Fail * Dear Eddie Murphy: Remember when you were funny and awesome and sort of brilliant? And you made movies like Coming to America and Trading Places and 48 Hours? Those were good movies.
Then something happened. Maybe you tried a new drug and had an allergic reaction. Maybe you spent to much time rolling around naked in money. I don't know your life. But you started making bad movies. Really bad movies. The Adventures of Pluto Nash. Norbit (WHICH WON AN OSCAR, A FACT I AM STILL INSANE ABOUT). Meet Dave.
Now you're planning Beverly Hills Cop 4. The first Beverly Hills Cop is fun, in that 'it's a crappy movie but it doesn't take itself seriously at ALL' way that certain movies can cultivate.
I doubt the fourth one will be good. The second and third weren't good. I still have the VHS for the second movie, for reasons I don't understand, and really, not your finest hour. Maybe work on good movies? Or take a nap? I think you could use a nap.
Plus, I refuse to see Dreamgirls because I hate two of the actors in it. Not you, Mr. Murphy, but you aren't exactly endearing yourself to me.
Make a good movie again? Please? Love, LV
PS I thought your voice work in Shrek was brilliant. I also really liked Bowfinger.
TeeVee * I maintain, and always will, that the original Twilight Zone is one of the scariest television shows ever made in the history of the universe. So happy 50th, Rod Serling's brain baby! That episode with the doll? TALKING TINA? And the episode where there were clones of everyone? I cried.
Geek Want * I know Halloween is over (because I had the best Halloween, ever), but this costume is so freaking sweet that I feel we need to pause and appreciate it: [Found at KimNCris] I love this guy. BEST BENDER COSTUME EVER. I salute you, sir. YOU EVEN HAVE ROBOT OIL.
Daily Hot Guy [Jeffrey Dean Morgan, AKA John Winchester, AKA The Comedian, who is the hottest crazy father EVER, and even though the finale of season two of Supernatural was totally ridiculous, it was also AMAZING and fabulous, and I only like him as John Winchester. And no, I refuse to watch him in Gray's Anatomy. I refuse to watch that show. I often pretend it doesn't exist.]
Awesome * So I don't think I should play this game: [Found at Boing Boing] Because it starts out as a joke, then I get obsessive, then you find me standing on the roof in a mini-skirt with high boots and a homemade crown, pretending I'm Tina Turner from Beyond The Thunderdome. Which has nothing to do with this game, but now I sort of think this would be a great way to spend the day. Who has a flame-thrower I could borrow?
Movie!Win * I am sickeningly excited about the Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. It looks gorgeous. I love Terry Gilliam (But I'm still happy he didn't direct Watchmen) and I even sit through his terrible movies that make no sense and sadden me with their sort of awful (coughcoughTIDELANDcoughcough)(SERIOUSLY. Did you see that movie? WHAT WAS GOING ON?)
And I thought Heath Ledger was a fantastic actor. Did you see his performance in Monster's Ball? (I could mention the more obvious, but let me just say, again, that he was SHAFTED out of an Oscar for Brokeback Mountain. Think what you will about the movie, or the hype, but I loved it and I cried and I LOVED it.
Anyway, here's the trailer for Imaginarium:
I can't wait for it to come out. Even if it might make me cry. Because 10 Things I Hate About You was on TV the other day, and when the part came on where Mr. Ledger sings, I started bawling. But that might be my problems talking.
The BBC has defended a decision to change the ending of nursery rhyme Humpty Dumpty.
A version used on the CBeebies channel was altered so rather than "couldn't put Humpty together again" all the King's horses "made Humpty happy again".
WOW. I highly doubt that it was done for 'creative reasons' as you claim. I mean, COME ON. HE'S AN EGG. YOU CANNOT PUT EGGS BACK TOGETHER.
Also, it's a metaphor. Also, BBC, Little Miss Muffet was NOT friends with the spider. WHY ARE YOU TURNING MOTHER GOOSE INTO A HOUSE OF LIES?!
Wow * I saw The Others, mostly because of Christopher Eccelston, and it was a good and creepy movie. But I don't like to see ACTUAL pictures of dead people. Especially when you pose them. You shouldn't pose the dead. I feel very strongly about this. And opening their eyes so they STARE at you? It just freaks me out. A lot. I'm sorry, but it does. Now I want to watch The Others again. That was a damn good movie.
And no, I'm not posting pictures. They make me sad. Especially the little kids posed with their siblings. Click the link to see. Historically, it's a fascinating trend. Personally, I'm glad it's over.
Animals * We have wild turkeys around here. They are big ugly bastards, and once when I was younger they chased my car up the street. Stop laughing, they're really quite terrifying.
SEE?
Girly!Want * This is a shoe: [Found at Geekologie] I don't know if I want to wear it, because I'm not sure how it goes on the foot. But I DO want to own it. So I can study it. Seriously, HOW DOES IT WORK? I am scared, a little. Footwear should not cause such anxiety.
Blog * It's nice that he can see the positive side, right? Even though we're all doomed? Title is from Futurama.
Apocalypse How? * The internet. Our flicker god of porn and wisdom. Apparently, internet addiction is like drug addiction, which means people who SHOOT YOU for a fix, so one day when SkyNet destroys the internet and none of us can play FarmVille, the world will erupt into a howling vortex of violence and crazed people making the Dial-Up noise as they slaughter people. TRUTH.
Books * 2010 can't come fast enough: [Found at ISS] I want to send a copy to Dr. Horrible. Maybe he'll spare me then.
Nostalgia!Win * I loved Rainbow Brite as a child. Loved her, wanted her horsey with the pretty hair, and her power to make rainbows, which when your six seems pretty useful in daily life. But they've redone it, for reasons beyond me, but to be honest I'm sort of OK with it: [Found at Topless Robot] She's not MY Rainbow Brite, obviously, but you know what? She doesn't look like a transvestite hooker, and she's fully clothed, and that's ALL I can expect from the media anymore. On the other hand...
Daily Hot Guy [Gareth David-Lloyd, AKA Ianto Jones from Torchwood, AKA THE HOTTEST OF THE WELSHMEN and I still can't talk about Children of the Earth, guys, but it's OK, because he'll be Watson in an undoubtedly SUCKISH Sherlock Holmes adaptation, and I am fine with that.]
Blog * This is why animals are AWESOME. Title is from Up.
Art * It is Hump Day, and I am exhausted and possibly getting sick, and fucking Chris Christie won the election last night, and I cannot DEAL with things like this. I mean, the following is a model of the artist's head, MADE OUT OF HIS OWN BLOOD: [Found at Geekologie] I can't do this. It's weird and gross, and can you imagine the poor person who innocently opens the freezer looking for ice cream? AND THE GUY DOES IT REPEATEDLY. For art reasons. I don't care. Blood belongs inside the body. Except zombies.
Comics * Warren Ellis and Alan Moore. Either the best or worst combination in history. Because they will destroy us ALL, with a combination of facial hair and obscenities. TRUTH.
Food!Fail * SERIOUSLY, IT IS STILL WEDNESDAY. AND NOW I AM PICTURING SERVING THIS BESIDE THE BLOOD HEAD: [Found at This Is Why You're Fat] IT'S A MEAT BABY, MADE OF MEAT, WEARING A BACON DIAPER. I AM WAY TOO FUCKING TIRED TO DEAL WITH THIS SHIT. Look at its mouth. IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S SCREAMING.
Daily Hot Guy [Patrick Wilson. I feel much better now. He'll hold me and reassure me, and tell me what it was REALLY like to be in Watchmen, and then he'll make me more coffee, because the stuff I'm drinking just ain't cutting it.]
Politics A Collection Of Short Letters: * Dear Michael Steele: Next time you go on TV, maybe have someone quiz you on possible questions, and vet the answers, so you don't end up comparing yourself to a COW, which is delicious but not an especially dignified animal, or one you want to give authority to. Love, LV. PS Don't call yourself a cow:
* Dear Chris Christie: I really, really dislike you and everything you stand for, and I am APPALLED that you won the election last night, and I still sort of think you eat babies. But you're my governor, until I get the money to leave this country and run off with Gareth David-Lloyd, and until that glorious day, please try to keep busy with non female-related things, OK? Sincerely, LV
* Dear John Corzine: You aren't great, either, but I hated you less than Christie, except you LOST TO A BABY EATER. You have shamed everyone. I shun thee. HOW DID YOU LOSE? Disgustedly, LV.
* Dear Wonkette: I love you with the intensity of a thousand burning suns:
SARAH PALIN’S MOST INSPIRATIONAL FACEBOOK PROSE YET: It puts a tear or zero in our eyes on this, this historic election day that no one cares about: “Please take time today to exercise the right that so many people fought to secure for us. In considering these east coast races, it occurred to me that Susan B. Anthony, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, and so many of the women who fought to give future generations the right to vote hailed from these states.” In other words, as her hero Susan B. Anthony once said, “Vote with your vag, ladies.” Today, this means voting for an asexual robot male in Virginia, Glenn Beck’s male wingnut bitch in New York, and the fattest male goblin alive in New Jersey.
Be Mine, LV
V * Did you watch V last night? I did, and I was pleased, and Alan Tudyk, AKA Alpha Wash was in it, and Scott Wolf still looks like he's twelve, and was very good, and Morena Baccarin is hot and I sort of want to be that beautiful and tall, and it was enough like the original that I wasn't enraged, although I do find the son annoying as FUCK, and keep hoping that Alpha Wash will shoot the bitch DOWN. Or that Captain Hammer will appear, because I like surrealism in my television.
Zombies * I see this shit, I am TAKING IT DOWN. You do NOT play around with zombies. They are the Undead Menace, people.
I think I should get to stay home and have fun, because I am sleepy. And still get paid. Can this happen? Hello? STOP LAUGHING. - LV
Blog * Woodchucks are fuzzy! Title is from Mystery Science Theater 3000.
Wow * This umbrella is also a squirt gun. THINK ABOUT HOW ANGRY YOU COULD MAKE PEOPLE: [Found at Mental Floss] Rainwater is funneled down the shaft of the umbrella, and you SQUIRT people. This could cause Armageddon in New York. I'll take five. And that's not even the weirdest umbrella. Click here to see some that don't even look umbrella-esque.
Eric Bana: I'm from a different alien race that also looks totally human. My planet was destroyed by a natural event that was nobody's fault, so I went back in time and formulated a plan to destroy a whole bunch of planets, thereby punishing people who did nothing wrong in response to an event that hasn't occurred yet. I have some idea about what "revenge" means but I clearly don't have a full grasp on it.
I love Star Trek. I want a sequel, with more Romulans, and Klingons, and Spock being Spocky. Make it so! HAHA. Oh, crap, where's the coffee?
Food!Win * I have been accused of liking really gross foods. That's hurtful and untrue! I have the most normal food eating habits. Look at this: [Found at This Is Why You're Fat] These are deep fried, beer-battered WIsconsin cheese curds with chipotle mayo dipping sauce. Nothing wrong with that, right? RIght? Where did you all go??
Girly Shit * WHO IS DESIGNING THESE SHOES?! [Found at Shoe Lust] AND CAN THEY BE STOPPED? WHAT THE HELL, MAN? WHO IS WEARING THESE? UNACCEPTABLE.
WTF, INTERNET? * This isn't offensive, it just puzzles me, and I don't know what it is, and the longer I look at it, the more it bothers me. So I share it with you all: [Found at Nerd Approved] So it's a little dude, and he's pooing, but he's reading while he takes a dump, and he's sort of deformed, and if you leave him in the sun he uses solar energy to nod his head, WHILE POOPING AND READING. I have no fucking clue what the point of this thing is, and his smile is starting to frighten me, and I have to stop looking at the picture. WHAT IS THE POINT? WHY IS HE ON THE TOILET WHILE NODDING? WHY IS HE ORANGE AND LUMPY? He looks sort of like the dude from season 2 of Torchwood, when Gwen ruined everyone's lives by being a nosy bitch, but it's OK because Ianto was naked. That's how I remember the episode, what do you recall?
Daily Hot Guy * THIS WAS REQUESTED, AND I REFUSE TO APOLOGIZE: [Chris Barrie, AKA Arnold Rimmer from Red Dwarf, who is TRAGIC, and if you can overlook the fact that he is an epic douchebag, he's one of the saddest, loneliest characters in the history of television, and I want to hug him. And then some.]
Music * I simply cannot stop listening to this song.
It's fabulous. And I get to see Thursday, so SUCK IT, MONDAY. YOU KICKED MY ASS, BUT IN A LITTLE OVER A MONTH I GET MUSICAL RETRIBUTION. HAHA.
Blog * Science would be so much more fun if you could eat it. Title is from Supernatural.
* I am back! I had a lovely weekend, and will be sharing many pictures and stories on my other blog, and we now return to your regularly scheduled nonsense.
Nostalgia!Win * Kids make forts. It's like an intrinsic part of childhood, and I refuse to hear from any of you freaks who are going to be all, 'I never made a fort.' EVERYONE makes forts. Mine usually were made from cardboard boxes and pillows, and weren't very good, as they had a tendency to cave in and smother whoever was inside. But I made them. I think I'd like to make another. With a margarita bar. These kids made a sick fort:
Doctor Who * Let's make a deal. I'll stop posting stuff about David Tennant being on Masterpiece Theatre if one of the following conditions is met: A) He stops being Scottish B) He stops being so effing hot. C) Ianto gets all better. D) I get to be a next companion on Doctor Who Anyone going to meet one of these requirements? No? Right, then:
People I Love * These dudes robbed a store, which I do not love. That's just lazy. I love them because, rather than spending money on masks, they went with this option: [Found at Boing Boing] They markered their faces. I love these guys. WHO even considers that an option?? I salute you, markered dudes.
Stuff To Live * Oh my god, look at the monkey! [Found at Nerd Approved] I don't care that it will keep my cords neat and organized. I just like monkeys.
Glee * Here's the cast of Glee singing 'Rehab'. Cuz. Glee rocks out loud.
Daily Hot Guy [Seth MacFarlane, creator of Family Guy, American Dad, and The Cleveland Show (But, more importantly, Johann Krauss in Hellboy II: The Golden Army) who is solely here because A) He seems like a douche, which I find attractive, and B) He has the sexiest voice on TV. TRUFAX]
Movie!Fail * We've already established that I love Roman Polanski's films whole simultaneously thinking he's sort of a hideous human being, which is VERY UNCOMFORTABLE FOR ME.
Geek Want * As I say very frequently, I am not a fan of Star Wars. Just.... not. Sorry. I don't dislike it at all, and the original movies were pretty win, but they never made me insane.
Awesome * When Facebook and Myspace meet, there can be ONLY pain. Click to embiggen it: [Found by DanaM1218] In other news, FarmVille is an evil thing that DESTROYS productivity, and I HAZ A PIGGIE.
Movie!Win * FINE, I fought against it, and I sulked and snarked, but fine, I WILL SAY IT.
Bryce Dallas Howard has been hitting the red carpet a lot recently and giving us some stunning looks.
At the 14th Annual Hollywood Awards Gala last night she wore a Reem Acra Spring 2011 dress.
Her bustier watercolor dress with gold embroidered details is gorgeous.
Jimmy Choo sandals complete her look.
I love it -- she looks slim yet curvy, and the color is nice on a redhead. the one sleeve is kind of the least of the problems here: All that pulling in her bosom makes it look like Bryce stayed in the bath too long and came out a dark-teal raisin. Look, I like raisins -- in cookies, cereal, and cookies, but nowhere near my bosom unless I have dropped a cookie, some cereal, or a cookie on my shirt. Period. But this is fabulous.
It looks extensions-y, even if they aren't, and it makes her look so generic -- like any other starlet in town who's just waiting for her big break. Which isn't technically TRUE in her case. Girlfriend needs to be practicing more Truth In Hair Advertising. Chop that thing down, honey.
As for the dress -- or skirt and top -- I kind of like it. I do love me some sequins.
I gotta give to it Bryce Dallas Howard for giving this look a go. I think she rocks it, even though this dress is not in my taste. Call me crazy, but is there something about this look that seems very....TILDA SWINTON to you? I mean, leaving aside the fact that Tilda Swinton doesn't bare her legs very often. I can just see it on her, perhaps because it's mildly futuristic and also a bit ugly, but in a way that seems potentially extemely expensive. It takes a brave woman to wear this, but perhaps we should have expected nothing less from the Heir of Richie Cunningham.
