Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Hi There. I Just Met You & I Love You.

Blog
* This is why animals are AWESOME. Title is from Up.

Art
* It is Hump Day, and I am exhausted and possibly getting sick, and fucking Chris Christie won the election last night, and I cannot DEAL with things like this. I mean, the following is a model of the artist's head, MADE OUT OF HIS OWN BLOOD:

[Found at Geekologie]
I can't do this. It's weird and gross, and can you imagine the poor person who innocently opens the freezer looking for ice cream? AND THE GUY DOES IT REPEATEDLY. For art reasons. I don't care. Blood belongs inside the body. Except zombies.

Comics
* Warren Ellis and Alan Moore. Either the best or worst combination in history. Because they will destroy us ALL, with a combination of facial hair and obscenities. TRUTH.

Words Of Win

[Found at Unique Daily]

Life Lessons

[Found at Indexed]

Food!Fail
* SERIOUSLY, IT IS STILL WEDNESDAY. AND NOW I AM PICTURING SERVING THIS BESIDE THE BLOOD HEAD:

[Found at This Is Why You're Fat]
IT'S A MEAT BABY, MADE OF MEAT, WEARING A BACON DIAPER. I AM WAY TOO FUCKING TIRED TO DEAL WITH THIS SHIT. Look at its mouth. IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S SCREAMING.

Daily Hot Guy

[Patrick Wilson. I feel much better now. He'll hold me and reassure me, and tell me what it was REALLY like to be in Watchmen, and then he'll make me more coffee, because the stuff I'm drinking just ain't cutting it.]

Politics
A Collection Of Short Letters:
* Dear Michael Steele: Next time you go on TV, maybe have someone quiz you on possible questions, and vet the answers, so you don't end up comparing yourself to a COW, which is delicious but not an especially dignified animal, or one you want to give authority to. Love, LV. PS Don't call yourself a cow:


* Dear Chris Christie: I really, really dislike you and everything you stand for, and I am APPALLED that you won the election last night, and I still sort of think you eat babies. But you're my governor, until I get the money to leave this country and run off with Gareth David-Lloyd, and until that glorious day, please try to keep busy with non female-related things, OK? Sincerely, LV

* Dear John Corzine: You aren't great, either, but I hated you less than Christie, except you LOST TO A BABY EATER. You have shamed everyone. I shun thee. HOW DID YOU LOSE? Disgustedly, LV.

* Dear Wonkette: I love you with the intensity of a thousand burning suns:
SARAH PALIN’S MOST INSPIRATIONAL FACEBOOK PROSE YET: It puts a tear or zero in our eyes on this, this historic election day that no one cares about: “Please take time today to exercise the right that so many people fought to secure for us. In considering these east coast races, it occurred to me that Susan B. Anthony, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, and so many of the women who fought to give future generations the right to vote hailed from these states.” In other words, as her hero Susan B. Anthony once said, “Vote with your vag, ladies.” Today, this means voting for an asexual robot male in Virginia, Glenn Beck’s male wingnut bitch in New York, and the fattest male goblin alive in New Jersey.

Be Mine, LV

V
* Did you watch V last night? I did, and I was pleased, and Alan Tudyk, AKA Alpha Wash was in it, and Scott Wolf still looks like he's twelve, and was very good, and Morena Baccarin is hot and I sort of want to be that beautiful and tall, and it was enough like the original that I wasn't enraged, although I do find the son annoying as FUCK, and keep hoping that Alpha Wash will shoot the bitch DOWN. Or that Captain Hammer will appear, because I like surrealism in my television.

Zombies
* I see this shit, I am TAKING IT DOWN. You do NOT play around with zombies. They are the Undead Menace, people.


I think I should get to stay home and have fun, because I am sleepy. And still get paid. Can this happen? Hello? STOP LAUGHING.
- LV

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