WARNING: THESE QUOTES HAVE SPOILERS. IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THE COMIC, OR AT LEAST SEEN THE MOVIE (WHICH I HAVE NOT YET SEEN) THEN THESE QUOTES MAY RUIN THE EXPERIENCE FOR YOU. SPOILERS BELOW
I know I've done Watchmen quotes before, and these are indeed from the comic, not the film, but god damn it I want to do more, and these have COMMENTARY (by me) and anyway I go into work late today, and I am being rebellious and NOT studying, and screw you, quotes make EVERYTHING BETTER.
* Rorschach's Journal: The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "Save Us!"...: ...and I'll look down, and whisper, "No".
I know it's been played to death in the trailer, but seriously, it's a fucking great quote. And nicely displays the level of Rorschach's psychosis.
* Dan Dreiberg: Um. Don't you think that's maybe a little paranoid?
Rorschach: That's what they're saying about me now? That I'm paranoid?
I've read the comic an embarrassing number of times, and I still can't decide if Rorschach's kidding or not. I suspect not, but I like to pretend that deep down, under the crazy, he had a funny.
* Happy Harry the Bartender: Ruh. Ror. Ror. Rorschach! Har Har How are ya doin', fella?
Rorschach: I'm fine, Happy Harry. Yourself?
Happy Harry: Fine! I'm fuh, I'm fine! And I'm, and I'm, and I'm glad you're fine too! And uh, and uh... Oh God. Please don't kill anybody.
Simply put, one of my favorite scenes in the comic, in terms of humor. I feel bad for Happy Harry. How many times has he seen Rorschach mutilate the clientele? Also, Rorschach uses a personal pronoun here, too. He does it a few times. I've always wondered if that's intentional.
* Dan Dreiberg: But the country's disintegrating. What's happened to America? What's happened to the American dream?.
The Comedian: It came true. You're lookin' at it.
Random note: Considering how much Rorschach admired him, and how his death is the catalyst for Rorschach's entire investigation, it's worth noting that throughout the course of the comic, you NEVER see the Comedian and Rorschach have a conversation. The Comedian thinks Rorschach is out of his mind, based on his chat with Dan. Just mentioning it.
* Adrian Veidt: No, I don't mind being the smartest man in the world. I just wish it wasn't this one.
Veidt always struck me as a tool, but the sort of tool you like BECAUSE he's so toolish, if that makes ANY sense to anyone but me.
* Rorschach: Give me smallest finger on man's hand. I'll produce information. Computer unnecessary.
Rorschach would have been an amazing salesman.
* Dr. Malcolm Long: I looked at the Rorschach blot. I tried to pretend it looked like a spreading tree, shadows pooled beneath it, but it didn't. It looked more like a dead cat I once found, the fat, glistening grubs writhing blindly, squirming over each other, frantically tunneling away from the light. But even that is avoiding the real horror. The horror is this: In the end, it is simply a picture of empty meaningless blackness. We are alone. There is nothing else.
I always felt bad for Dr. Long. Yes, he's a bit of a smug bastard, but so much of his identity hinges on being a nice guy, and Rorschach fucks that up for him completely in a few sessions. Also, grubs are gross.
* Rorschach: [Looking at inkblot test] Dog. Dog with head split in half.
Dr. Long: And, uh. What do you think split the Dog's Head. In Half.
Rorschach: I did.
Another missed career opportunity for Rorschach: babysitter. "Then Winnie The Pooh rips guts from Eeyore. Eeyore howls into the night. Tigger watches, says nothing. Now go to bed. Or fingers will be snapped." Kids would NEVER step out of line. And if they did... "Had three children when you left. Billy misbehaved. Showed Communist sympathies. Now have two children. Fee has been adjusted accordingly." I kid, I kid.
* Rorschach: You keep calling me Walter. I don't like you.
You have to admire the honesty. Well, you don't have to, but that way lies madness and being shot in the chest with a grappling hook.
* Laurie Juspeczyk: Hey, you remember that guy? The one who pretended to be a supervillain so he could get beaten up?
Dan Dreiberg: Oh, You mean Captain Carnage. Ha ha ha! He was one for the books.
Laurie: You're telling me! I remember, I caught him coming out of this jeweller's. I didn't know what his racket was. I start hitting him and I think "Jeez! He's breathing funny! Does he have asthma?
Dan: Ha Ha Ha. He tried that with me, only I'd heard about him, so I just walked away. He follows me down the street⦠broad daylight, right? He's saying "PUNISH me!" I'm saying "No! Get lost!"
Laurie: Ha Ha Ha. What ever happened to him?
Dan: Well, he pulled it on Rorschach, and Rorschach dropped him down an elevator shaft.
Rorschach probably thought he was doing the guy a favor. This was Rorschach being nice.
* Rorschach: Stood in firelight, sweltering. Bloodstain on chest like map of violent new continent. Felt cleansed. Felt dark planet turn under my feet and knew what cats know that makes them scream like babies in night.
Looked at sky through smoke heavy with human fat and God was not there. The cold, suffocating dark goes on forever and we are alone. Live our lives, lacking anything better to do. Devise reason later. Born from oblivion; bear children, hell-bound as ourselves, go into oblivion. There is nothing else.
Existence is random. Has no pattern save what we imagine after staring at it for too long. No meaning save what we choose to impose. This rudderless world is not shaped by vague metaphysical forces. It is not God who kills the children. Not fate that butchers them or destiny that feeds them to the dogs. Itâs us. Only us. Streets stank of fire. The void breathed hard on my heart, turning its illusions to ice, shattering them. Was reborn then, free to scrawl own design on this morally blank world.
Was Rorschach.
Does that answer your Questions, Doctor?
I still find this beautiful, in an ugly and frightening way. This is poetry. This is why this comic fucking rules.
* Adrian Veidt: I did the right thing, didn't I? It all worked out in the end.
Dr. Manhattan: 'In the end'? Nothing ends, Adrian. Nothing ever ends.
They both sound toolish in this quote, but I still love it. Oh, Adrian, you don't understand anything, do you? You're a confused little man. And I do find it remarkable that, on one level, Rorschach outsmarted him. Whether or not anyone believes it, that journal is still out there. Adrian could suppress it, of course, and probably did. But it's out there. It slipped between the cracks. To quote another genius of comics, "Fuck everybody. I won."
* Laurie: Oh shit. I'm on Mars.
Come on, you would have thought the exact same thing.
* Rorschach's Journal: If reading this now, whether I am alive or dead, you will know truth. Whatever precise nature of this conspiracy, Adrian Veidt responsible. Have done best to make this legible. Believe it paints disturbing picture. Appreciate your recent support and hope world survives long enough for this to reach you, but tanks are in East Berlin, and writing is on wall.
Did Alan Moore save his best writing for Rorschach, or am I just horribly biased? Because once again, I think this is beautiful. Also, how many people get to end a letter, "Gee, I hope the world still EXISTS by the time the mail system comes through."?
* Rorschach's Journal: For my own part, regret nothing. Have lived life, free from compromise, and step into the shadow now without complaint.
This makes me sad. Even if he isn't sad. SOMEONE should be sad. But it's true, and in that way he rather reminds me of Valerie from V For Vendetta, and her quote about apologizing to no one. They seem related, on a cosmic level if nothing else. Although Rorschach would have disapproved of her lifestyle, and V's lifestyle. OMGF SOMEONE NEEDS TO WRITE A FANFICTION WHERE THOSE TWO MEET AND FIGHT IT OUT. And the crazy is gone.
* Dr. Manhattan: This world's smartest man means no more to me than does its smartest termite.
Way to boost someone's self-esteem, Doc.
* Dr. Long's Journal: You're locked up in here with me, he said. He's right. Absolutely right.
I feel bad for the theoretical guy who just happened to be in the next cell from Rorschach. The guy who just wanted to stay out of his crazy, crazy way, and avoided eye contact, and laid low, and did his time, and ended up getting trampled to death in the prison riots. I'm just saying.
* Rorschach: By the way, you need a stronger lock. That new one broke after one shove.
Missed Rorschach Career #3: HOME SECURITY EXPERT.
* Dan: Rorschach...? Rorschach, wait! Where are you going? This is too big to be hard-assed about! We have to compromise!
Rorschach: No. Not even in the face of Armageddon. Never compromise.
Dan really should have known better. It's too bad. Rorschach was getting close to behaving in the realm of almost human.
* Rorschach's Journal: Is that what happens to us? A life of conflict with no time for friends, so that when it's done, only our enemies leave roses.
Rorschach could have been a poet. A crazy, crazy, violent poet.
* Rorschach: There. Did what had to be done. Can leave now.
I don't know why I love this quote so much, but I do.
* Dr. Long's Journal: As they dragged him away, Kovacs spoke to the other inmates. He said 'None of you understand. I'm not locked up in here with you. You're locked up in here with me'.
At which point, the other inmates started sobbing like wee little schoolgirls, and stopped making Mad Magazine jokes to his face.
* Rorschach's Journal: There is good and there is evil, and evil must be punished. Even in the face of Armageddon I shall not compromise in this.
I think part of the reason I like Rorschach so much is that he's clear cut. There is NO room for ambiguity in his world. It's insane, and not feasible, but it's also kind of refreshing and admirable, at least in a fictional sense. In real life, people like that are intolerable.
*Rorschach: Used to come here often, back when we were partners.
Dan Dreiberg: Oh. Uh, yeah... yeah, those were great times, Rorschach. Great times. Whatever happened to them?
Rorschach: You quit.
BURN.
* Dan: Dreiberg: Who the hell do you think you are? You live off people while insulting them, nobody complains because they think you're a goddamned lunatic... Do you know how hard it is being your friend?
And then they MAKE UP, and it's ADORABLE, and I CRY INSIDE because I know what's coming. Also, I read somewhere on the Great Interweb that this scene proves, in some way, that Rorschach is in love with Dan. Which I have no opinion on, although I do think Rorschach is fundamentally asexual, which I guess is an opinion. But I mean I'm not violently against, I'm not like, "NO FUCKING WAY MAN RORSCHACH IS STRAIGHT AS AN ARROW." It's entirely possible. But I'd like more textual evidence before I take a stance on Rorschach's sexuality.
* Dr. Malcolm Long: Hello, Rorsach. How are you today?
Rorschach: In prison. Yourself?
Once again, he's funny, but he would probably say he's just being accurate.
* The Comedian: You people are a joke. You hear Moloch's back in town, you think "Oh, boy! Let's gang up and bust him!" You think that matters? You think that solves anything?
Another issue. This almost completely goes against Rorschach's worldview. I think he admires the Comedian's attitude, not necessarily his specific philosophy. Or maybe he does.
* Newsvendor: I see the world didn't end yesterday.
Rorschach: Are you sure?
I put this in mainly because I crack up at the scene with the newsvendor where Rorschach jumps up behind him and reminds him about the newspapers, and the poor guy nearly shits his pants. But the quote itself is just, like, "AHHHHH" and not really funny in and of itself. So I put this quote up instead, as an excuse to talk about that scene. I am sneaky.
* Rorschach: Don't worry. Won't insult legendary underworld solidarity by suggesting you surrender name without torture.
Uh, Rorschach, we call it 'aggressive interrogation' now. Just... ju... You know what? You call it whatever you like. I'll be over here... far, far away.
* Doc Manhattan:The morality of my activities escapes me.
Which makes him almost the polar opposite of Rorschach, who bases everything on morality.
* Rorschach's Journal: Waiting for a flash of enlightenment in all this blood and thunder
THIS is what I want to get a tattoo of. I love this quote more than I can accurately say. If it is not in the movie, I will be VERY UPSET. MY BLOG WITH BE RAGE-FILLED.
OK, now I'm running late. To work! To work!
- LV
