Monday, October 13, 2008

Still Hiatus

But I wanted to write a post about how I am having a strange allergic reaction to either
A) The THREE peanuts I ate today, even though I eat peanuts regularly, and have never had a problem with them before,
B) My dog, although we've since discounted this
C) Pumpkins (according to me dear but puzzled mother)
D) A face lotion I applied LAST NIGHT, or
E) A haircut (according to me dear but deeply confused father) (who wants me to specify that he means the HAIRSPRAY or SHAMPOO they used, even though my scalp is not red)
F) My couch, although even my parents can't offer a plausible explanation for why only my face is red, and no other body parts

My throat isn't swelling, and only my face is red (there's even a line, like I applied a cruel facial mask, or got a chemical peel), so I'm not going to die any time soon. It doesn't seem to be spreading. But I look like my brother took a red marker and scribbled all over my face (and yes, I checked that possibility). It's itchy and hot and annoying, and I can't go out in public until it goes down a LOT.

And I got my haircut fixed today, so I no longer resemble a naughty librarian (I may be the only one who saw that resemblance).

And now I'm lying on the evil couch, half-writing my vampire book, which I'm sure any respectable author would frown upon, and half-watching (for the tenth time, I think) Lost Boys: The Tribe, because my love for Corey Feldman is real and eternal, and nothing will come between us - not reality, or his marriage and child, or my red, tomato-colored face, or the fact that I will always refer to him as Edgar, no matter how long we are together, and even in public, or our age difference, NONE OF IT MATTERS. Because our love is TRUE. Our love is of the fiber that Shakespeare could only dream of, our love is endless and deep as the ocean and wide as the earth and you are all jealous of our passion because you know nothing in your life will ever come close, you FOOLS!



The rash may have reached my brain. I'm going to sulk over the state of my face.

Let the hiatus resume.
- LV

PS Corey Feldman IS hot. And you know it. I will not apologize for my love.

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