Blog* Yeah, actually, that's a fair statement. Title is from Mystery Science Theater 3000.* So, remember guys, I'm going to be gone from Friday 12 February to Sunday 21 February, in England. I make NO promises to blog or do anything like that. I will simply take a shitload of pictures of England and the awesome that occurs there, which I will probably post on my return.Fandom* This poster makes me happy every damn time I look at it:see more deMotivational PostersAwesome* Why is this a fail? I think people should be able to buy these for everyone. I want one. They're GENIUS:[Found at Failblog]I'm not kidding. This could be the best Valentine ever.Food!Fail* This list of things you can spread on bread is a total fucking fail, because it mocks mayonnaise. Mayonnaise is the ambrosia of the gods. I put it on everything. No, really, one of my favorite snacks is dark chocolate with mayonnaise. DON'T KNOCK IT UNTIL YOU TRY IT. God, you close-minded monsters make me sick. MAYONNAISE IS GOOD.Technology* I don't know about you, but I don't remember shit about being in utero. I don't really remember anything before the age of four, and most of my four-year-old memories involve The Land Before Time, (AKA the best goddamn movie EVER). What I'm trying to say is, I don't get the need to have the collection of cells in your tummy listen to 'My Humps':[Found at Like Cool]Oh, and this line really scares me:
"Researchers have demonstrated that reactive listening begins at 16 weeks, when your wee geek-to-be is roughly the size of a tasty avocado."Partly because that's highly debateable, but mostly because now whenever someone tells me they're pregnant, I will instantly think, 'WHAT SIZE FRUIT IS THE FETUS?'Politics* I love Rahm Emanuel. He is like the Ari Gold of politics. He loses his shit and he says things and everyone freaks out, and it's awesome:
Monstrous hypertension record-setter Rahm Emanuel has A LOT OF SHIT TO DO AND DOESN’T HAVE TIME TO FUCKING HOST THIS FUCKING PANSY-ASS ROUNDTABLE SHIT, but he will GET IT OVER WITH and then will you people SHUT THE FUCK UP FINALLY. Apparently apologizing for a PRIVATE FUCKING REMARK wasn’t good enough for the FUCKING SHRIVERS and now what, he has to KISS SOME SHRIVER’S ASSHOLE and host a DELEGATION ARE YOU SERIOUS JESUS CHRIST OF FUCKING R–… WHATEVER YOU FUCKING CALL THEM… AT THE WHITE HOUSE, are you SERIOUS? FINE, let’s just FUCKING DO THIS…(For my part, I think everyone overreacted, it wasn't like he screamed obscenities from the White House Press Room (although if he does, I want every YouTube video of that, EVER).Oh, and Mr. Emanuel was a ballet dancer, which makes me love him so much for so many reasons.If you say anything about his tights, he will motherfucking wreck you, bitches.Life Lessons* The lovely and brilliant Metalouise sent me this, and it cheered me up on a bad day, and more importantly exposed me to the GROSS INCOMPETENCE of our educational system:Also, kids, remember you can always use the gasoline fires to cook your dog! Just another fun tip from Aunty Elle! Now fetch me a bottle of vodka and some smokes.Daily Hot Guy[Alan Rickman, who has rendered it impossible for me to see the new Robin Hood movie, because there is NO OTHER Sheriff of Nottingham beside him, YOU FOOLS.]Movie!Win* District 9 is an Oscar nominated film, and this makes me all sorts of happy. So does this interview with Terri Tatchell, writer of the screenplay and wife of director Neill Blomkamp. But no sequels, please, unless you can GUARANTEE the same degree of genius. PS. Ms. Tatchell, don't be nice to Avatar. DON'T ENCOURAGE TALL BLUE HAIR!SEX.Daily Icon[Lady Gaga, who is talented, smart, unapologetically weird, and most of all encourages you to celebrate who you are, bizarre as that may be. PLUS, she's short and from New York, and THAT means we should be friends and hang out and she should take me shopping. And I love the placement of that tattoo on her arm.]Wow* Dear Universe: If you need to make yet ANOTHER Friday the 13th remake (PLEASE DON'T), I think you need to give Jason this Hello Kitty Chainsaw:[Found at Like Cool]Because at the very least, if the movie sucks, I can laugh maliciously as Hello Kitty slaughters half-naked teens.It's the SNOWPOCALYPSE! SNOWMAGEDDON. SNOWMG. Etc. I have the day off from work.- LV
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