Another funny show that got cancelled. Great animated series.
"I've got trademark products all over my body because I was drunk one night. Don't live like me."
"How's it going?"
"Well, I just drank pee. How's it going with you?"
"Brendon there's nothing wrong with lying to women. Or the government. Or parents. Or God."
"Uh, John McGuirk, Your Honor."
"Have I seen you in court before?"
"Yes, several times, but that's not important, sir. What's important is that my retarded nephew is innocent."
I'm NOT retarded."
"Yes you are, Brendon, now shut up."
"I love this kid. He's like a chipmunk with a disease."
"I need to refill this prescription. It's for my anxiety disorder and, uh, it's working nicely 'cause, uh... I wouldn't be able to approach you otherwise."
"All right, listen up, that was a good game. We all showed up, and I'm proud of that."
"No, Brendon, you're supposed to be resting, the doctor said it was psychosomatic. Or stress related. Or... menopausal. Something. I wasn't paying attention."
"Why is he calling you Coach McGuirk?"
"I don't know. He's probably RETARDED."
"Life sucks, Brendon. That's your lesson. Go enjoy it."
"Coach McGuirk, what's the matter? You don't look so good. Are you on another bender?"
"Where'd you learn that word, Melissa?"
"From you."
"Oh, right."
"I'm sorry, Melissa, I didn't mean to snap at you, all right? It's just that I haven't slept in four nights, all right? Then I've got you peeping in my ear about stretching."
"I'm just trying to help."
"Like every other woman in my life!"
"Coach, do you think I'm stupid?"
"Of course you're stupid, Brendon, all kids are stupid."
"Wait, Coach, a tornado is really coming?"
"Yes, that's what the radio said, 'There's a tornado coming.' So I'm going to stay down here with the baby; you guys go up stairs and play."
"Shouldn't we stay down here with you..."
"No. It's not safe for everybody to be in the same place during a tornado Melissa."
"But I thought you're suppose to go..."
"No! The rule is Melissa, you separate."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, you get sucked into the funnel and everyone's separated then it's like a fun ride. But, if you're all in a group, in a cluster, you start banging into each other and then your heads collide and you die."
"The question was 'Who wrote Hamlet?' You wrote 'The Pope's cousin, Count Pope-ula, a magical monster with pencils for arms.'"
"I'll be honest, Mr. Lynch. I made that one up."
"This sucks! I look like a magician."
"Oh, you look good."
"No, I look like a magician."
"No... you look like a waiter at a restaurant that has no child labour laws."
"Do you wanna know what a real rash is?"
"No."
"I'll tell you. You get a rash somewhere on your body. It hurts so bad that you go blind. That's how bad it is. You blow up like a balloon, you look like a circus freak, you know what I'm talking about?"
"No."
"Next thing you know, you're in the circus, touring, making good money."
"Wow."
"You know my life."
"Rashes come from bad hygiene, all right? So what you've gotta do, whenever you go to a public restroom, and you sit on a toilet seat, put the toilet seat cover down. And if they don't have them there, manufacture one out of toilet paper, or your shirt, or your socks. Anything to cover the seat."
"Per day, I would say I hate far more than I feel like I like something. I like my western omelet, but while I'm eating that there's about 17 other things that I hate, like my apartment, my breath, whatever's on the TV, whatever's in the paper. Then I walk outside and it'll be a nice day. Well that's great that's a good feeling for a split second and then I realize I hate my neighborhood, because I... you apparently can't play music after 6:00 pm... in this country."
"So I said to her 'You want it clean? HUH? You want it CLEAN? YOU CLEAN IT! CLEAN IT YOURSELF! CLEAN IT YOURSELF!' ...and I haven't spoken to my mother since."
"Let's watch TV."
"Very funny. No TV, Mom says."
"What?"
"6:30, boys. Time for bed."
"What?"
"Come on, Bren-Bren, let's do something with our hair."
"WHAT?"
"Get your pajamas on, boys."
"WHAT?!"
In other news, I am still in the post-orgasmic glow of having seen SWEENEY TODD. A real review will come, eventually, but for now I'm still in a daze from it.
Had a very upsetting night afterwards, which was appropriate, considering my evening's viewing.
May you go see SWEENEY TODD. Right now. Seriously, get the fuck up and go see it. I'm not kidding.
- LV
"I've got trademark products all over my body because I was drunk one night. Don't live like me."
"How's it going?"
"Well, I just drank pee. How's it going with you?"
"Brendon there's nothing wrong with lying to women. Or the government. Or parents. Or God."
"Uh, John McGuirk, Your Honor."
"Have I seen you in court before?"
"Yes, several times, but that's not important, sir. What's important is that my retarded nephew is innocent."
I'm NOT retarded."
"Yes you are, Brendon, now shut up."
"I love this kid. He's like a chipmunk with a disease."
"I need to refill this prescription. It's for my anxiety disorder and, uh, it's working nicely 'cause, uh... I wouldn't be able to approach you otherwise."
"All right, listen up, that was a good game. We all showed up, and I'm proud of that."
"No, Brendon, you're supposed to be resting, the doctor said it was psychosomatic. Or stress related. Or... menopausal. Something. I wasn't paying attention."
"Why is he calling you Coach McGuirk?"
"I don't know. He's probably RETARDED."
"Life sucks, Brendon. That's your lesson. Go enjoy it."
"Coach McGuirk, what's the matter? You don't look so good. Are you on another bender?"
"Where'd you learn that word, Melissa?"
"From you."
"Oh, right."
"I'm sorry, Melissa, I didn't mean to snap at you, all right? It's just that I haven't slept in four nights, all right? Then I've got you peeping in my ear about stretching."
"I'm just trying to help."
"Like every other woman in my life!"
"Coach, do you think I'm stupid?"
"Of course you're stupid, Brendon, all kids are stupid."
"Wait, Coach, a tornado is really coming?"
"Yes, that's what the radio said, 'There's a tornado coming.' So I'm going to stay down here with the baby; you guys go up stairs and play."
"Shouldn't we stay down here with you..."
"No. It's not safe for everybody to be in the same place during a tornado Melissa."
"But I thought you're suppose to go..."
"No! The rule is Melissa, you separate."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, you get sucked into the funnel and everyone's separated then it's like a fun ride. But, if you're all in a group, in a cluster, you start banging into each other and then your heads collide and you die."
"The question was 'Who wrote Hamlet?' You wrote 'The Pope's cousin, Count Pope-ula, a magical monster with pencils for arms.'"
"I'll be honest, Mr. Lynch. I made that one up."
"This sucks! I look like a magician."
"Oh, you look good."
"No, I look like a magician."
"No... you look like a waiter at a restaurant that has no child labour laws."
"Do you wanna know what a real rash is?"
"No."
"I'll tell you. You get a rash somewhere on your body. It hurts so bad that you go blind. That's how bad it is. You blow up like a balloon, you look like a circus freak, you know what I'm talking about?"
"No."
"Next thing you know, you're in the circus, touring, making good money."
"Wow."
"You know my life."
"Rashes come from bad hygiene, all right? So what you've gotta do, whenever you go to a public restroom, and you sit on a toilet seat, put the toilet seat cover down. And if they don't have them there, manufacture one out of toilet paper, or your shirt, or your socks. Anything to cover the seat."
"Per day, I would say I hate far more than I feel like I like something. I like my western omelet, but while I'm eating that there's about 17 other things that I hate, like my apartment, my breath, whatever's on the TV, whatever's in the paper. Then I walk outside and it'll be a nice day. Well that's great that's a good feeling for a split second and then I realize I hate my neighborhood, because I... you apparently can't play music after 6:00 pm... in this country."
"So I said to her 'You want it clean? HUH? You want it CLEAN? YOU CLEAN IT! CLEAN IT YOURSELF! CLEAN IT YOURSELF!' ...and I haven't spoken to my mother since."
"Let's watch TV."
"Very funny. No TV, Mom says."
"What?"
"6:30, boys. Time for bed."
"What?"
"Come on, Bren-Bren, let's do something with our hair."
"WHAT?"
"Get your pajamas on, boys."
"WHAT?!"
In other news, I am still in the post-orgasmic glow of having seen SWEENEY TODD. A real review will come, eventually, but for now I'm still in a daze from it.
Had a very upsetting night afterwards, which was appropriate, considering my evening's viewing.
May you go see SWEENEY TODD. Right now. Seriously, get the fuck up and go see it. I'm not kidding.
- LV
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