These come from one of my all-time favorite webcomics, which can be read here.
"If you need me, I'll be on the roof, learning how to fly."
"Spent your paycheck on video games again?"
"Naturally! Brand food and clothes are totally boring uses for my hard earned money."
"Ahem, excuse me. I need to know: Will Halo play on my PS2?"
"I'm sorry, I don't speak stupid and our translator called out sick today."
"Wait, what do you..."
"Surely they must have video game stores in the great land of Stupidia, where you'll be able to purchase and be ignorant of all manner of games in accordance with your society's customs."
"Ok, I wanna speak with your manager!"
"I do not understand your strange language and I can only interpret your raised voice and displayed teeth as a sign of agression."
"Have you paused to contemplate the irony here? You're going to waste all this time to build a machine in an attempt to stop time, because you complain about not having enough time to play games... when you could have just been using all of this time to play the games in the first place. Do you even know how to contemplate irony?"
"Ironing makes clothes... flat?"
"Where is a guy supposed to find the time? How could any mortal deal with it?"
"Perhaps by coming to the realization that you don't have to play them all when they come out, and can put some games on the shelf for a while?"
"No... I must find a way to freeze time itself!"
"Yeah, I was WAY off. Go figure."
"I am a giant tomato filled with love. I have come to sell you a house made out of pancakes."
"And a garage made from the souls of little children?"
"…Yes."
"Thank you... for bludgeoning my best friend... with a cinder block..."
"I didn't touch it! It just caught on fire! I swear!"
"To arms! To arms! The Pants Squirrels are amassing an army! Defend your rightful king!"
"Are you frozen to the sidewalk, Ethan?"
"Fuck yes."
"Well spent, heathen! Guards!"
"What guards, you freakity freak-freak?!"
"Are you sure it's healthy to stare at the computer screen like that?"
"Are my eyes bleeding?"
"No."
"Am I drowning in my own drool?"
"No."
"I'll be fine."
"Hey look! Kids playing in the snow! Let's pack rocks into snowballs and see how many we can send to the hospital!"
"I'm amazed that you haven't been locked up yet."
"I had a dream that the toaster grew legs and came after me... and it made me into toast..."
"Uh... yeah. About that. The grocery money kind of... turned into video games... uh.. magically."
"You know what, Ted? Screw you. Screw you all to hell."
"I think my face is FROZEN in happiness."
"If you need me, I'll be on the roof, learning how to fly."
"Spent your paycheck on video games again?"
"Naturally! Brand food and clothes are totally boring uses for my hard earned money."
"Ahem, excuse me. I need to know: Will Halo play on my PS2?"
"I'm sorry, I don't speak stupid and our translator called out sick today."
"Wait, what do you..."
"Surely they must have video game stores in the great land of Stupidia, where you'll be able to purchase and be ignorant of all manner of games in accordance with your society's customs."
"Ok, I wanna speak with your manager!"
"I do not understand your strange language and I can only interpret your raised voice and displayed teeth as a sign of agression."
"Have you paused to contemplate the irony here? You're going to waste all this time to build a machine in an attempt to stop time, because you complain about not having enough time to play games... when you could have just been using all of this time to play the games in the first place. Do you even know how to contemplate irony?"
"Ironing makes clothes... flat?"
"Where is a guy supposed to find the time? How could any mortal deal with it?"
"Perhaps by coming to the realization that you don't have to play them all when they come out, and can put some games on the shelf for a while?"
"No... I must find a way to freeze time itself!"
"Yeah, I was WAY off. Go figure."
"I am a giant tomato filled with love. I have come to sell you a house made out of pancakes."
"And a garage made from the souls of little children?"
"…Yes."
"Thank you... for bludgeoning my best friend... with a cinder block..."
"I didn't touch it! It just caught on fire! I swear!"
"To arms! To arms! The Pants Squirrels are amassing an army! Defend your rightful king!"
"Are you frozen to the sidewalk, Ethan?"
"Fuck yes."
"Well spent, heathen! Guards!"
"What guards, you freakity freak-freak?!"
"Are you sure it's healthy to stare at the computer screen like that?"
"Are my eyes bleeding?"
"No."
"Am I drowning in my own drool?"
"No."
"I'll be fine."
"Hey look! Kids playing in the snow! Let's pack rocks into snowballs and see how many we can send to the hospital!"
"I'm amazed that you haven't been locked up yet."
"I had a dream that the toaster grew legs and came after me... and it made me into toast..."
"Uh... yeah. About that. The grocery money kind of... turned into video games... uh.. magically."
"You know what, Ted? Screw you. Screw you all to hell."
"I think my face is FROZEN in happiness."
0 comments:
Post a Comment