Will Christopher Baer Quotes

He is one of my favorite authors. He writes brilliant, beautiful, heartbreaking, fucked up books. You should go read them. Especially if you like Chuck Palahniuk (he's better.) These are quotes from some of his books. And if you're wondering about the plethora of quotes, my insomnia prevents me from writing anything remotely coherent."In another lifetime I would gladly drink your bath-water. But Crumb advised me not to touch you, which reminds me. How old are you?""Today is my birthday. I'm nineteen and I pee in my bathwater.""I’m getting cozy with the idea that time is circular, that time lost will come back.""The Blister laughs, looking at me. 'I read the incident reports. You lost it on the firing range and started shooting at imaginary people. You took an ounce of crystal meth from an informant and later spooned it into your coffee. You locked yourself in the cage with a female prisoner and allowered her to urinate on you.'""I am a suicidal romantic, or I was at that moment. I wanted to tell her it’s never real.""I close my eyes and wait for Stephen Dedalus to come sit down beside me. I have saved no one but myself and now I watch for the other universe to unravel in my skull, for the sky to become my own skin and fill with stars.""Lets go fishing for bananafish.""And sometimes I think my heart will give out on me. Everything tastes strange and there’s a faraway muffled thumping in my ears and I keep looking at the sky, thinking its thunder. There’s a storm coming. But it’s not thunder. It’s my own stupid blood hammering away and I’m just having a panic attack." "I must be dead for there is nothing but blue snow and the furious silence of a gunshot.""...I am fast coming to the conclusion that, like cab drivers who secretly want to be writers, lawyers who want to be filmmakers are often dangerous assholes.""And my life went to pieces, like a love letter in the rain.""I have saved no one but myself and now I watch for the other universe to unravel in my skull, for the sky ot become my own skin and fill with stars.""He has the expression of someone who wishes the rain would stop.""The image stored in my head suffers rapid decay and within hours I will be unable to describe the sunset I have just witnessed without accessing the false but technically perfect sunsets that I have seen on a thousand television and computer screens. I have no personal memories that are untainted by media and marketing and I often suspect that I am dead but still functioning.""The only bag of poison is my heart.""The two of them should write greeting cards. Then the other psychopaths would have something nice to send to their mother's on holidays." "A friend is like anything else. A dog, a plant. You ignore them and they tend to die on you.""These were the first indicators that a seizure was on the way and soon the air would commence to accelerate and pulse, like a bird was attacking me. I would suffer the imaginary rush of wings furious around my head, and I wasn't in the mood for it"."Of course I didn’t believe him. He’s too smooth, too frightening. He’s like a stockbroker with a meat cleaver in his briefcase.""My wife used to say I was a terrible liar, that it was the only time I smiled. But she was wrong; I smiled when I was telling the truth.""Sorrow is like the ocean and sometimes I wish my heart would stop.""Anything you can imagine is probably true, and the worst you can imagine is probably worth money.""Sometimes there is nothing so horrible as a familiar face""Every time I close my eyes I'm dreaming""You motherfucker. What kind of communist drinks mochas with whipped cream?"

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