The Suburbs Are Terrifying

I don't care what anyone says, the suburbs are far more frightening than the city. Come on, all the best horror movies take place in the quiet, idyllic land of suburbia. Halloween, Blue Velvet [not technically a horror movie, but I dare you to imagine a freakier film], The Poughkeepsie Tapes, Scream, It... OK, not all great horror movies, but still, the majority. I mean, what horror movies take place in cities? Cloverfield? [Waits patiently for someone to start lecturing her about the countless scary city-based movies out there].I'm just saying: when your dog starts howling at nothing in the dark night, and you're all alone in a house, and you're a wussy girl who panics easily, it's a stressful experience. I am running on a fantastically low level of sleep at the moment. Johnny Depp could show up asking for directions, and I'd probably mace him, lock myself in the closet, and cry like the lunatic I am. That being said, I maintain that when the zombie apocalypse occurs, I am totally prepared. That's about the only time you want to be in the suburbs. After all, suburbs have malls.OK, off to fortify myself, set every alarm in the house, and spend the next nine hours jumping at every noise, all while trying to write.At this point, I'm pretty sure the dog barks just to fuck with me. He'll get his. Mark my words.- LV

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