And by real writer, I mean published. Successfully. Something you actually thought up and wrote, not ripped off of better authors.
My writer's block is driving me to distraction. Even my usually vivid daydreams are faded and dull. My daydreams hold no interest for me. That is a bad sign. And every idea I think up has been done better. Like Joss Whedon. I want to be Joss Whedon. Or Charlie Kaufman. Or Tim Burton, even though he's a director. Or J.K. Rowling or Hunter S. Thompson or Warren Ellis. All my ideas sound stupid or trite. Or worse, chick-lit.
Except for Jennifer Weiner, who is my guilty pleasure, I deplore chick-lit. It makes me actively angry. And I don't want my writing to be defined by my nether regions, or the fact that I think Johnny Depp is hot. Maybe if I ever get a good story idea again, I'll write under a pseudonym.
You know which movie I wish I wrote? KISS KISS BANG BANG. I totally wish that was my idea. Something funny and genre-bending and exciting and under-appreciated. But at this point I'd settle for just being geisha girl to Hugh Laurie.
I've been working on my novel, which turned into chick lit somewhere on page 3. I think because it's a first-person female narrator, and I'm not Sylvia Plath. Do people count that as chick-lit?
I don't mean books written by women. That would be idiotic. And self-defeating. I consider chick-lit to be books written about a female protagonist who's 'quirky' and 'original,' like fucking Meg Ryan in all those awful movies. And she ends up with the bad guy who turns out to be pretty nice, not the hot guy who turns out to be a shit, and everyone lives happily ever after. Shit. Shit, mine kind of goes that way. I FAIL AT LIFE! HURRAY!
I need to read more. I spent two or three months obsessively rereading the HARRY POTTER series, and I know I could never write anything like that. So I need to read more, and get more inspiration. I wish you could order it, like cigarettes or booze. This is just free-writing.
Random Movie Notes
* SECRET WINDOW is a bad movie, but Johnny Depp is so amazingly funny that it is entirely worthwhile. Like, just him farting around that cabin talking to himself is fucking hysterical. Also, he's real pretty. I'm on a bit of a Depp kick at the moment. It happens. And John Turturro is just always rad. It's a pointless piece of film but it's fun if you ignore the plot.
* SPIDER MAN 3 is also pointless crap, because it's a mess. But it has one good scene. I try to find one worthwhile thing in every movie. This one has several, but only one I actually want to mention. WARNING: SPOILER FOR SPIDER MAN 3. I think James Franco's death scene is fantastic. It's just so sad, and sweet, and surprisingly understated considering how much of the rest of the movie was about explosions and loud noises and grandiose gestures. It's just this very sad, quiet sort of scene, and he's wonderful in it. I'll miss him.
* In HARRY POTTER & THE GOBLET OF FIRE, David Tennant is scary as everloving fuck. My friend put it quite succinctly: "He does a great job of going from a really elegant guy to totally fucking deranged in like two seconds." I'm paraphrasing, but it was a good line.
I need to read something good. But not tonight. Tonight I'm going to watch crappy movies and fuck around on the computer. Like a true writer.
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