I just want everyone to know, I blame you all for these movies failing. I SAW them. I'm innocent in their failings. These are in no order.
1. Slither
- Best horror/comedy in years. AND Nathan Fillion
2. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
- One of the smartest, funniest, most exciting and clever crime movies of the decade. AND Robert Downey, Jr.
3. Wonder Boys
- Michael Douglas should have won an Oscar. And MORE Robert Downey, Jr.
4. Zero Effect
- Bill Pullman gives one of the wackiest performances ever. Sort of an ancestor to 'Monk.'
5. Existenz
- David Cronenberg is one of the gods of weird cinema. And Christoper Eccelston!
6. The Poughkeepsie Tapes
- Most terrifying movie I have ever seen. Period. Being released in February. Go.
7. Grindhouse
- Nobody saw it because you asshole couldn't hold it in for what, 3 1/2 hours? PEE IN A CUP IF NECESSARY! I HELD it the whole damn time, and probably did permanent damage to my bladder! It was WORTH IT.
8. Thank You For Smoking
- This movie was so good, even Katie Holmes couldn't fuck it up.
9. Children Of Men
- This got ONE Oscar nomination. ONE. AND LOST. JULIA ROBERTS HAS MORE!
10. Secretary
- Maggie is GOD. One of my favorite romances ever.
11. Auto Focus
- Greg Kinnear made up for EVERY bad movie. EVER. This one movie has redeemed his whole career. And Bob Crane was a crazy son of a bitch.
12. Eight Mile
- Fuck everyone, this is a fucking fantastic film. OK, it won an Oscar, but people still don't appreciate it enough. Or EMINEM'S remarkable performance. Fuck.
13. Lovely & Amazing
- Apparently movies where women are real characters don't succeed. I want to be Catherine Keener.
14. American Splendor
- PAUL GIAMATTI HAS NOT WON AN OSCAR. THERE IS NO GOD.
15. Matchstick Men
- Even Nicolas Cage didn't ruin it.
16. You Can Count On Me
- The main reason I still love Mark Ruffalo.
17. Jesus' Son
- Best drug movie since 'Trainspotting.'
18. Man On The Moon
- Jim Carrey has some of the most devastating comic moments ever in this film. And the end makes me cry.
19. State & Main
- There is not a single bad performance in this movie. Alec Baldwin will make you shit your pants. And William H. Macy is great as a dick. One of my favorite comedies.
20. Before Sunset
- Gives you faith in love. In some ways, better than BEFORE SUNRISE.
21. Miller's Crossing
- COEN BROTHERS COEN BROTHERS COEN BROTHERS COEN BROTHERS
22. Serenity
- Hey, I saw it, I bought it, I loved it. It's because of YOU PEOPLE that it didn't do well. And don't get me started on FIREFLY, because I will drive you bonkers.
23. Hellboy
- Ron Perlman is so underrated it makes me want to have sex with him. Wait... The sequel is coming out soon!
24. Sweet And Lowdown
- Sean Penn should have won an Oscar for THIS. His best performance ever. And Woody Allen, before his movies started to depress me. Best soundtrack.
25. Igby Goes Down
- Best way to tell someone somebody has died. When I die, I want someone to do this.
26. Confessions Of A Dangerous Mind
- Sam Rockwell. It's all about Sam Rockwell. By the way, I knew Clooney would be a great director cause of this movie. Way before GOOD NIGHT, AND GOOD LUCK. Eat me, fuckers.
27. Gods And Monsters
- Every time I see this movie, it makes me cry over how good Brendon Fraser is, and how bad his film choices are.
28. The Hudsucker Proxy
- Hula hoops! Tim Robbins!
29. A Simple Plan
- Billy Bob Thorton can do no wrong. Because of this one movie. I can forgive him pretty much any cinematic vomit he might expel. One of the best movies of its type ever. I think it may be the only one of its kind.
30. Arrested Development
- OK, not a movie. BUT NOBODY WATCHED IT AND NOW IT'S GONE FOREVER! But the O.C. went on for AGES, didn't it?
1. Slither
- Best horror/comedy in years. AND Nathan Fillion
2. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
- One of the smartest, funniest, most exciting and clever crime movies of the decade. AND Robert Downey, Jr.
3. Wonder Boys
- Michael Douglas should have won an Oscar. And MORE Robert Downey, Jr.
4. Zero Effect
- Bill Pullman gives one of the wackiest performances ever. Sort of an ancestor to 'Monk.'
5. Existenz
- David Cronenberg is one of the gods of weird cinema. And Christoper Eccelston!
6. The Poughkeepsie Tapes
- Most terrifying movie I have ever seen. Period. Being released in February. Go.
7. Grindhouse
- Nobody saw it because you asshole couldn't hold it in for what, 3 1/2 hours? PEE IN A CUP IF NECESSARY! I HELD it the whole damn time, and probably did permanent damage to my bladder! It was WORTH IT.
8. Thank You For Smoking
- This movie was so good, even Katie Holmes couldn't fuck it up.
9. Children Of Men
- This got ONE Oscar nomination. ONE. AND LOST. JULIA ROBERTS HAS MORE!
10. Secretary
- Maggie is GOD. One of my favorite romances ever.
11. Auto Focus
- Greg Kinnear made up for EVERY bad movie. EVER. This one movie has redeemed his whole career. And Bob Crane was a crazy son of a bitch.
12. Eight Mile
- Fuck everyone, this is a fucking fantastic film. OK, it won an Oscar, but people still don't appreciate it enough. Or EMINEM'S remarkable performance. Fuck.
13. Lovely & Amazing
- Apparently movies where women are real characters don't succeed. I want to be Catherine Keener.
14. American Splendor
- PAUL GIAMATTI HAS NOT WON AN OSCAR. THERE IS NO GOD.
15. Matchstick Men
- Even Nicolas Cage didn't ruin it.
16. You Can Count On Me
- The main reason I still love Mark Ruffalo.
17. Jesus' Son
- Best drug movie since 'Trainspotting.'
18. Man On The Moon
- Jim Carrey has some of the most devastating comic moments ever in this film. And the end makes me cry.
19. State & Main
- There is not a single bad performance in this movie. Alec Baldwin will make you shit your pants. And William H. Macy is great as a dick. One of my favorite comedies.
20. Before Sunset
- Gives you faith in love. In some ways, better than BEFORE SUNRISE.
21. Miller's Crossing
- COEN BROTHERS COEN BROTHERS COEN BROTHERS COEN BROTHERS
22. Serenity
- Hey, I saw it, I bought it, I loved it. It's because of YOU PEOPLE that it didn't do well. And don't get me started on FIREFLY, because I will drive you bonkers.
23. Hellboy
- Ron Perlman is so underrated it makes me want to have sex with him. Wait... The sequel is coming out soon!
24. Sweet And Lowdown
- Sean Penn should have won an Oscar for THIS. His best performance ever. And Woody Allen, before his movies started to depress me. Best soundtrack.
25. Igby Goes Down
- Best way to tell someone somebody has died. When I die, I want someone to do this.
26. Confessions Of A Dangerous Mind
- Sam Rockwell. It's all about Sam Rockwell. By the way, I knew Clooney would be a great director cause of this movie. Way before GOOD NIGHT, AND GOOD LUCK. Eat me, fuckers.
27. Gods And Monsters
- Every time I see this movie, it makes me cry over how good Brendon Fraser is, and how bad his film choices are.
28. The Hudsucker Proxy
- Hula hoops! Tim Robbins!
29. A Simple Plan
- Billy Bob Thorton can do no wrong. Because of this one movie. I can forgive him pretty much any cinematic vomit he might expel. One of the best movies of its type ever. I think it may be the only one of its kind.
30. Arrested Development
- OK, not a movie. BUT NOBODY WATCHED IT AND NOW IT'S GONE FOREVER! But the O.C. went on for AGES, didn't it?
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